When discussing household codes and what God expects of men, women, husbands and wives, and children, we must be adamant about the reality that none of us will live up to our calling. We are all infected with sin, and we won't be sinless until we are glorified in the new heavens and new earth. Every human heart is filled with sin, and so every family is filled with sin. Every man fails to live up to biblical manhood, and every woman fails to live up to biblical womanhood. Every man fails to live up to being a biblical husband, and every wife fails to live up to being a biblical wife. Every child fails in their obedience and submission to their parents.
As good as you think you are, you're not.
As bad as you think you are, you're worse.
Failure is inherent in all of us. But in what direction are we failing? We are either failing in the right direction or in the wrong direction. When we strive to be obedient to God and to live as He created us to live, we will fail. We will fail frequently, in big and small ways (and sometimes in spectacularly dramatic ways). But what matters is what direction were failing in.
All striving after obedience is grace.
When I do good as a father, it is grace.
When I fail as a father, it is of my own accord.
Every success I have is a gift of a God's grace, and every failure is my own; if it weren't for God's grace, for His work on my heart and His Spirit in my life, I couldn't help but be a constant bundle of failure.
God's Word is clear in what God expects of men and husbands, women and wives, children and even slaves. These commands are given in what scholars call "household codes," and they are found in the New Testament. During the days of the Roman Empire, household codes were common: it was clear what was expected of the members of all households. The Romans understood that the household was important, for it was the center of a person's reality; while our culture makes the government the centerpiece of the state, the Romans understood that the family is the bedrock of the state. If the family is in order, the state is in order; if the family is in disarray, the state is in disarray (and we know this to be true from current climate!).
The New Testament takes the form of Greco-Roman household codes and reorients them around the gospel; whereas the household was the foundation of the Roman state, in the New Testament the household is the launching point of the kingdom of God. Though secularists condemn the New Testament household codes as ultra-conservative, they were actually very liberal in Paul's day and age. The liberalism of these codes is one reason many scholars hold that the idea of women's rights, and even feminism, began with the Apostle Paul: he would've been considered a 'radical feminist' in his day for the value, privileges, and responsibilities he gives to women in light of the gospel.
Progressive Christians - those Christians who put one foot in the secularist camp and one foot in the camp of orthodoxy - argue that the New Testament household codes are not binding on modern families. They argue that the codes were appropriate for that ancient culture, and the biblical writers advocated them in order to placate wider culture. They believe that there is no distinction between men and women (which naturally leads to women becoming men and men becoming women), and they argue that the patriarchy built into the New Testament household codes are vestigial remnants of a less enlightened age. They argue that the writers of the New Testament were either closet secularists or simply unenlightened (but if either of those are the case, why trust the Bible at all?). They argue that the traditional values espoused in the New Testament were as far as the New Testament writers were willing to go because their Greco-Roman culture wasn't ready for the radical feminism and shattering of patriarchy that the gospel requires. This is, of course, nonsense, and these arguments lead to the conclusion that the NT writers can't be taken seriously at all; this is why progressive Christians interpret scripture in light of secularism rather than interpreting secularism in light of scripture. Secularism, not scripture, becomes the ultimate authority in progressive Christianity.
~ In progressive Christianity, secularism - not scripture - becomes the ultimate authority. ~
Are we to assume, then, that the household codes of the New Testament are authoritative? In other words, are they still binding upon us? Do they truly inform us of how God wants us to live? The answer is a resounding YES. Though the household codes are framed in terms and forms of Greco-Roman household codes, their foundation is not on Roman traditions but on the created order. Patriarchy was run-of-the-mill in the Roman state because it is the natural state of the created order (though Roman patriarchy was corrupted, the patriarchy of the New Testament is pure, hence its radicalism for its time). The household codes in the New Testament reflect the natural states of mankind in relation with one another, and thus these codes are binding on all generations.
~ It is God's desire for men to marry women and for the husband and wife to have children and raise them in the Lord so that the pattern continues and the world is filled with God-worshipping families, communities, and societies. The greatest mission a Christian can embark upon for the spread of the kingdom is to get married, have kids, and raise them in the Lord. ~
Household codes are found throughout the New Testament. Some of the big ones are found in Titus 2, 1 Timothy 5, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3, and in Ephesians 5 and 6. Over the next few weeks we will be examining most of these passages. The majority of these codes emphasize household roles rather than gender roles; while men are mentioned, husbands get more air time, and its the same with women. This is because the Bible assumes that men and women will get married and have children, as that is the pattern and calling established at creation. It is God's desire for men to marry women and for the husband and wife to have children and raise them in the Lord so that the pattern continues and the world is filled with God-worshipping families, communities, and societies. The Bible promises that the kingdom of God will spread throughout the whole world, and this won't be accomplished primarily by evangelizing neighbors or establishing churches but by the establishing and growing of godly households. Godly families are the linchpin upon which the kingdom advances. The greatest mission a Christian can embark upon for the spread of the kingdom is to get married, have kids, and raise them in the Lord.
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