#kidcation (and New Year's)

#kidcation eats: (L-R) Dusmesh, Q'Barbeque, and Pies & Pints

Ashley’s parents took the girls with them to Lexington for a couple days, giving Ashley and me some much-needed alone time. A “kidcation,” if you will (sure, I will). On Christmas night we endured an hour wait at Dragon City for a pick-up order (I couldn’t be mad; nothing else was open), and we rounded out the night burning sage and watching all three The Santa Clause movies. That night I dreamed I was Santa Claus and Zoey was my elven helper; she kept knocking over milk glasses that kids had left, and it was really starting to irritate me. I told Ashley about the dream, and she said, “That’s probably why you were moaning so much. Your moans sounded pissed.”

Ashley and I ran down to the office so I could turn in timesheets, and then we grabbed lunch at the Dusmesh Indian buffet outside Cincy State. We hadn’t been there since we got married (I think), and it stirred up lots of great memories from the last six years. We headed to Microcenter to look at new computers, and I settled on a Windows 10 HP Desktop with an i7 processor (though I ordered it rather than bought it from the store, because it’s cheaper that way). We swung by Midpointe Library on the way home, and we snuggled in bed and watched The Good Doctor before heading back into Cincinnati for an evening at Winton Ridge. We witnessed a police chase at the King’s Run Minimart, and it was great seeing John and Brandy—and especially Amos. I hadn’t seen him for over a year. We played Foozball, laughed a lot, and caught up on all the things that have changed (or stayed the same) in our lives. John and Brandy abandoned their place in Louisville and are back at the farmhouse long-term (John quit his job at Holsopple because of the work environment); Aaron moved out; and it looks like Frank and his new girlfriend Beth might be taking Aaron’s spot. John made a steak dinner with homemade mashed potatoes and we watched BBC’s Hidden Kingdoms.

On Wednesday we had a Mediterranean dinner at Q’Barbeque, and Ashley’s Christmas gift to me arrived: my new computer! I set it up, and it runs fast. Best of all, it can run my Total War games. Even Empire and Shogun 2 run well. It’ll be perfect for school, and I’m giving my Dell netbook to Chloe for her school and stories. Ashley and I burned sage and binge-watched The West Wing. It’s our cold winter night go-to. Bartlet would’ve crushed Trump.

On Thursday we dad dinner with Tyler & Julia (and 2.5 year old Luna!) at Pies & Pints at Liberty Center. I had pork nachos and two helpings of Rhinegeist Shuffle. Julia’s pregnant with another child, a boy this time! We had a great time. Tyler really likes Ashley, and we all want to get together with the girls here soon. Zoey would play great with Luna. Ashley and Julia shared some comraderie with in-laws issues. It’s nice to know marriage drama is normal.

The girls returned over the weekend, and on Sunday we missed church despite being ready: we got another round of snow that covered the roads, and record told temperatures made it almost impossible to scrape the ice off the van. My hands nearly fell off from numbness, and we drove around downtown to try and warm up. Not until we were on 71N did I start to regain feeling in my toes. We grabbed lunch at Skyline Chili in Blue Ash, and when we got home we made the girls rest and took a nap before spending the evening celebrating New Year’s with contingents of Ashley’s family. Her dad made hand-rolled sushi and deep fried egg rolls, and I provided some Italian bread to go along with the brie cheese. Zoey tried to stay up till midnight but couldn’t make it past 9PM, Keith got drunk and was passed out by 10PM, and Chloe had a blast staying up with the adults and writing stories on my old netbook. Come midnight we drank some champagne (Chloe got grape juice and pretended it was making her loopy) and rang a cowbell and shot off confetti poppers outside.

I fell asleep praising God for 2017. It truly was a year marked by God’s provisions, a slew of answered prayers, and undeniable “acts of God” that I’ll never forget.

Christmas 2017

On Saturday blizzard conditions obscured the roads on our way to Mom & Dad’s to have lunchmeat sandwiches before heading to New Carlisle to celebrate Christmas with Dad’s side of the family. Everyone was able to make it, so the house was crammed with 29 people. Grandpa was in a good mood; he may have dementia, but at least he remembers me and makes a lot of jokes. I think he talks to me more than he talks to any of his other grandsons. Amanda, Chloe, and Zoey participated in a gingerbread house contest. Amanda won first place and Chloe came in second; Chloe’s was very abstract and creative, the girl should become an engineer. After the contest Grandma gave out presents (she and Grandpa have a LOT of money in the bank; Grandpa used to be a banker). I got two airplane models: a Skyraider and a Fairy Swordfish.

After dinner I broke the news that Ashley and I had secretly gotten married and that I had officially adopted the girls. Both Aunt Kelly and Aunt Julie were super excited for me, and no one was upset about the secrecy. We left New Carlisle around 7PM and I was in Blue Ash at 9PM to work the back half of my overnight. Now that Ashley and I have broken the news, we’re free to be “Facebook Official,” and Ashley made it so that night. Grandpa M. saw it and liked it, so I gave him a call and told him the news. I was on the fence about telling him, harboring some animosity towards him because of how he betrayed and abandoned his family and still treats Mom like shit sometimes. I was waiting for him to say something shitty, and I was planning on unleashing on him—craving to do it, actually—but he was nice and congratulatory so I kept my mouth shut.

The next day (Christmas Eve) we celebrated Christmas with Ashley’s side of the family. Jessica and Dustin came over with Ella in tow, and when Nathan arrived we launched the Demerle Christmas 2017. We took family pictures and Evelyn bit me in the crotch; she’s a biter. Jessica broke the flimsy kitchen chair, but it’s not on her: the chair was a piece of shit, and you always had to sit in it just right to keep it from breaking. We had corn revel soup for lunch with spiral sliced honey ham and sweet potato casserole. We exchanged Secret Santa gifts: Ashley got Rachel a deep fryer, I got Keith a pack of 50 lighters (Rachel thought it was hilarious), and Jessica got me a $20 gift card to Amazon. Ashley got a kickass pineapple mason jar, and the parents got all the couples (and Nathan) a loaded VISA gift card.

Once everyone filed out and we got the girls to bed, Ashley and I finished wrapping the girls’ gifts and put them under the tree. The girls set out chocolate milk and a bunch of sweets, so Ashley and I had to eat all of them despite being full. Zoey wanted to put reindeer food (dry oatmeal mixed with glitter) in the front yard. Chloe added carrots, which we had to chew up and spit out like they’d been eaten. I had Addy walk all around the area to make prints that could resemble those of a reindeer. “Christmas Eve is a lot of work with kids.” Chloe came down the stairs around 11:30PM and saw Ashley nibbling on some of Santa’s sweets. Her eyes went wide, and she exclaimed, “Why’re you eating Santa’s food?” Ash replied, “Because your sister wanted him to have those, but he really wants cookies, so we’re switching them out. Do NOT tell her.”

Around 3AM that night Zoey claimed a bad dream and crawled between Ash and me; she kept stealing my blankets and trying to push me off the bed. Chloe shook me awake around 8:00 with a wild fire in her eyes: “Santa came!” Zoey snapped awake and bolted downstairs to see all the presents. We rifled through the presents, and Chloe noticed that she’d seen some of her presents up in our room just yesterday. “Now they say ‘from Santa,’” she pointed out, skepticism bleeding from her voice. Ashley told her, “Every year Santa sends us a list of what he got you, and if there’s some things he didn’t get, we get them for him and he reimburses us. He can’t fit all these presents in his sleigh.” I added, “There are a lot more Christmases nowadays with the steady population increase due to multiplying birthrates and better prenatal care. Santa doesn’t have the necessary supplies for everything in the North Pole, so he has us buy some of the things and he reimburses us when he comes. Cash only.” I said the last part in case she asked to see the check. She seemed satisfied (or apathetic), so we dug into our gifts and celebrated our first Christmas the “Barnhart Family” (legally, anyways). And to make it even better, it was a White Christmas, the first in years. It snowed all afternoon and evening, and we got around two inches. The wind was blistering, though, blowing the snow straight into you so that it felt like getting slapped with hundreds of icy pinpricks. Santa brought Zoey an American Girl Doll, a prank kit, a wooden hydroplane model, and a bucket of Army Men (among other things). Chloe made bank with sewing and jewelry kits and a number of crafting accessories. The girls got me a new ESV study bible with a bible case to go along with it, and I gave Ashley a card and some perfumes she likes. Ashley made me a goetta omelet with wheat toast, and I helped Zoey build her plane. I did a chest workout (with increased weight!), and the girls left to Lexington with Ashley’s parents.

Christmas 2017 came to an end.

And #kidcation began!

(It’s a great Christmas gift from Ashley’s parents)