Christmas 2017

On Saturday blizzard conditions obscured the roads on our way to Mom & Dad’s to have lunchmeat sandwiches before heading to New Carlisle to celebrate Christmas with Dad’s side of the family. Everyone was able to make it, so the house was crammed with 29 people. Grandpa was in a good mood; he may have dementia, but at least he remembers me and makes a lot of jokes. I think he talks to me more than he talks to any of his other grandsons. Amanda, Chloe, and Zoey participated in a gingerbread house contest. Amanda won first place and Chloe came in second; Chloe’s was very abstract and creative, the girl should become an engineer. After the contest Grandma gave out presents (she and Grandpa have a LOT of money in the bank; Grandpa used to be a banker). I got two airplane models: a Skyraider and a Fairy Swordfish.

After dinner I broke the news that Ashley and I had secretly gotten married and that I had officially adopted the girls. Both Aunt Kelly and Aunt Julie were super excited for me, and no one was upset about the secrecy. We left New Carlisle around 7PM and I was in Blue Ash at 9PM to work the back half of my overnight. Now that Ashley and I have broken the news, we’re free to be “Facebook Official,” and Ashley made it so that night. Grandpa M. saw it and liked it, so I gave him a call and told him the news. I was on the fence about telling him, harboring some animosity towards him because of how he betrayed and abandoned his family and still treats Mom like shit sometimes. I was waiting for him to say something shitty, and I was planning on unleashing on him—craving to do it, actually—but he was nice and congratulatory so I kept my mouth shut.

The next day (Christmas Eve) we celebrated Christmas with Ashley’s side of the family. Jessica and Dustin came over with Ella in tow, and when Nathan arrived we launched the Demerle Christmas 2017. We took family pictures and Evelyn bit me in the crotch; she’s a biter. Jessica broke the flimsy kitchen chair, but it’s not on her: the chair was a piece of shit, and you always had to sit in it just right to keep it from breaking. We had corn revel soup for lunch with spiral sliced honey ham and sweet potato casserole. We exchanged Secret Santa gifts: Ashley got Rachel a deep fryer, I got Keith a pack of 50 lighters (Rachel thought it was hilarious), and Jessica got me a $20 gift card to Amazon. Ashley got a kickass pineapple mason jar, and the parents got all the couples (and Nathan) a loaded VISA gift card.

Once everyone filed out and we got the girls to bed, Ashley and I finished wrapping the girls’ gifts and put them under the tree. The girls set out chocolate milk and a bunch of sweets, so Ashley and I had to eat all of them despite being full. Zoey wanted to put reindeer food (dry oatmeal mixed with glitter) in the front yard. Chloe added carrots, which we had to chew up and spit out like they’d been eaten. I had Addy walk all around the area to make prints that could resemble those of a reindeer. “Christmas Eve is a lot of work with kids.” Chloe came down the stairs around 11:30PM and saw Ashley nibbling on some of Santa’s sweets. Her eyes went wide, and she exclaimed, “Why’re you eating Santa’s food?” Ash replied, “Because your sister wanted him to have those, but he really wants cookies, so we’re switching them out. Do NOT tell her.”

Around 3AM that night Zoey claimed a bad dream and crawled between Ash and me; she kept stealing my blankets and trying to push me off the bed. Chloe shook me awake around 8:00 with a wild fire in her eyes: “Santa came!” Zoey snapped awake and bolted downstairs to see all the presents. We rifled through the presents, and Chloe noticed that she’d seen some of her presents up in our room just yesterday. “Now they say ‘from Santa,’” she pointed out, skepticism bleeding from her voice. Ashley told her, “Every year Santa sends us a list of what he got you, and if there’s some things he didn’t get, we get them for him and he reimburses us. He can’t fit all these presents in his sleigh.” I added, “There are a lot more Christmases nowadays with the steady population increase due to multiplying birthrates and better prenatal care. Santa doesn’t have the necessary supplies for everything in the North Pole, so he has us buy some of the things and he reimburses us when he comes. Cash only.” I said the last part in case she asked to see the check. She seemed satisfied (or apathetic), so we dug into our gifts and celebrated our first Christmas the “Barnhart Family” (legally, anyways). And to make it even better, it was a White Christmas, the first in years. It snowed all afternoon and evening, and we got around two inches. The wind was blistering, though, blowing the snow straight into you so that it felt like getting slapped with hundreds of icy pinpricks. Santa brought Zoey an American Girl Doll, a prank kit, a wooden hydroplane model, and a bucket of Army Men (among other things). Chloe made bank with sewing and jewelry kits and a number of crafting accessories. The girls got me a new ESV study bible with a bible case to go along with it, and I gave Ashley a card and some perfumes she likes. Ashley made me a goetta omelet with wheat toast, and I helped Zoey build her plane. I did a chest workout (with increased weight!), and the girls left to Lexington with Ashley’s parents.

Christmas 2017 came to an end.

And #kidcation began!

(It’s a great Christmas gift from Ashley’s parents)