updatez (with a z)

It's a koala. Eating an apple. Unrelated.

A lot has been happening as of late, and instead of posting separately on all these sorts of things, I'm just going to launch into them in one snaking post. With the Anchor band playing Creedence, the rain drumming on the roof, the thunder tolling like church bells, and the mellow lighting pooling in my coffee, let's see how much I can uncover until the battery on this netbook dies.

Tazza Mia. It's been over a year since I've been employed, and I'm still enjoying what I do despite the frustrations and chaos that characterize it all. While there's a great deal of stress (everyone who has any sort of responsibility within the company has been suffering all sorts of stress-related ailments), there's nevertheless an inherent sense of pride and privilege. While coffee may not be any sort of career (unless you're in the big wigs game), I'm proud to be with a coffee company that makes an effort to produce the best coffee in Cincinnati. We do have the best coffee, though we're still struggling to bring ourselves to being the best coffee shop. I'm always proud when people from all around the world come into our coffee shop and get all up in arms about how good it is. When Italians come into your store blown away at the quality espresso over against the widely available coffee at each city block (you know who I'm talking about), there's a sense of pride, the pride of belonging to something legitimate, something that isn't just the run of the mill. When tourists snap pictures of your poorly-poured rosettas and discombobulate hearts, or when your "postmodern latte art" (i.e. downright awful and inarticulate) gets praised, you're going to have a sense of pride. No matter the constant "riding of the wave" (a wave that seems to go nowhere at all), at least I've got that. Despite the frustrations and stress, I'm able to pay my bills and live within my means, and I'm privileged to work with so many awesome people. I've made great friends through this coffee shop, and I've lived and worked with friends I'd call close as brothers, and I know that I'm privileged to work with such great and enjoyable people. Most people talk about how they hate the people they work with, how they can never get along with them; but I find that I genuinely value those I work with, and I know it goes beyond my own amicability.

Writing. I've finished the first book of my zombie serial, as well as about 1/4 of the second book, but to be entirely honest I don't have much energy to keeping it going. This happens sometime, and it's not a bad thing: most writers have 5-6 unfinished books for every finished book. It's a regular occurrence and no reflection on the author or the work written. It's not that zombies find no place in my heart (oh, they have a place, and it is dark, very dark), but I just don't feel like writing about them anymore. On top of this, including as characters real people from my life (with their permission, of course: no one wants a lawsuit on their hands) served to sap the creative energies from the story. It's always a good rule of thumb to keep characters fictional, and not just for legal self-preservation. I'm currently not writing anything substantial, fiddling with things here-&-there, but that's all part of the process, it's progress, it's growth and development. The good news for you, the Reader, is that those "Writing Posts" with the Roman numerals to make them classy won't be bludgeoning this blog for some time.

The Claypole House. Amos moved out about a month ago (though his bed's still here; he's been sleeping on a sofa in his Loth House Lair), and Ams is slated to move out around the weekend of September. Blake, Andy & I have decided to keep living together, but the hope is that our days at the Claypole House will grind to a close. We want a change of scenery, want to get out of the West Side, want to find a different pace. We've been scouring north and east of Cincinnati looking for some different places, and we've got our eyes set on a place in Norwood. The "weekly updates" will cease to be when we move out of the Claypole House, signifying an end of an era. I may keep something similar going, but these posts are becoming a drag to write. A simple solution would be spending my days doing something different, something exciting; but, alas, my personality type thrives off regularity & ritual, and that is, of course, why I'm writing this post at The Anchor.

My Health Issues. The lymphoma scare has passed, an incredibly difficult season rolling to a close. The effects of it on my psyche have been two-fold: 1) paranoia, and 2) revitalized clarity. My own anxiety issues kicked into high-gear following that incorrect diagnosis and the lingering hell of waiting to see just what was wrong with me. Now that all that's passed, the paranoia has been dwindling down, too. I was this close [I'm putting my trigger finger and thumb 'bout an inch apart and typing with two fingers] to becoming a hypochondriac; but things have been simmering down, and I'm able to thank rationally. I've had a gauntlet of tests done (X-Rays, urine & blood tests, lung tests, etc.) and each one has given me a clean bill of health. I'm a healthy 25-year old guy, and in some ways I'm much healthier than others my age. It's been said that the very word "cancer" refocuses one's vision; and though I didn't, thank God, have cancer, I spent a decent amount of time being told that I did and thinking that I did, the end result being this very refocusing. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life, who I want to be, who I'm called to be, my purpose and all that. I've been finding areas in my life where I need to grow up, stop being selfish, start plugging my life into something greater than Me. Some say that life is short so we'd better experience all of it; in the same vein but somewhat different, I'd say life is too short so we'd better make something of it while we can. When my time comes, I don't want my life to have been lived for me but for something greater than me, something beyond me. As the song goes, "I was raised up believing I was somehow unique, like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see; and now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be, a functioning cog in some great machine." (it's Fleet Foxes, so ya know)

There's more that I could write (far more!), but my coffee's cold, the rain's passed, and my laptop's battery is glowing orange. That's not a good sign. I never really know how to end these things (could be why my books tend to roll on long after they should end) so, um, bye?

the 61st week

Monday. I didn't open (surprisingly), so I treated myself to breakfast at The Anchor before closing with Jake & Amos. Brandon told me today that he believes many of 600's advances in sales and operations over the last few months are largely due to me taking over select roles and running mornings. Again: it feels good to be appreciated. Amos & I went to his place after work to play MW3. John & Brandy returned from a wedding and visiting Rob & Mandy in Portland, and Brandy lamented being back in the dregs of Cincinnati and John fired up the grill to make chicken but ran out of propane. So we drank beers in the kitchen and cooked the chicken on the stove. Amos came home with me, and we rounded out the night with Andy, Ams & Blake. 

Tuesday. Jake & I opened. It was Ana's birthday so Brandon brought in a cake from Servatii's. It made her cry: "I miss my family in Brazil, but you guys, here, are like my family." So precious! The evening was spent in Dayton with Mom, Dad & Ams for a family cookout. I accidentally napped through a lot of it, but I also found time to clean out my car and rustle through the crawlspace looking for some old college books from my C.C.U. days. A little mouse died in one of the boxes. Dad grilled pork chops, steaks, and hot dogs, and Mom made mac-&-cheese and corn-on-the-cob. We made a fire out back and roasted marshmallows and I was attacked by a praying mantis. The drive home was dark and rainy, and Andy & I went to the Hilltop for chocolate milkshakes and sat on the front porch where Andy--pretty drunk off vodka and Mountain Dew, dubbed the "Emergency Cocktail" for obvious reasons--was likewise attacked by a praying mantis. The mantises are afire this summer, apparently.

Wednesday. The salad bar circuit breaker went out overnight so we had to toss most of our stuff and thus lunch ran on fumes. I went over to Amos' after my F.P. shift (he opened), and we played MW3 and hung out with John and Sabrina. I returned home to hang out with Andy but he was asleep. So I read The Glorious Cause on the front porch till he woke up, and then when he woke up we got Dusmesh for dinner and watched "Wilfred". It's got Frodo from The Lord of the Rings, and he's a manic-depressive who hallucinates a dog as a man in a dog costume. Brandon came by for a little bit, and we shared Front Porch Timez (again, with a Z) and talked T.M. 

Thursday. Two catering orders and a massive USFoods delivery made for a hectic morning. After work I went to the Elite Smoke Shop in Clifton, and when I got home Andy & I sat on the front porch and smoked cigarettes. He's not with T.M. anymore, has expanding horizons, I'm kinda excited for him. A change of pace would be nice, I'll have to make sure he lets me know what it's like. I went to The Anchor and drank coffee and rounded out my 2-week study on election & predestination; I think the idea of corporate election, rather than the traditional Calvinist/Arminian positions, makes the most sense. Andy & I joined Ams & Josh at the Cronin's house down Glenway, where Ams is moving soon. She hasn't been around lately, has been working and house-sitting since Chris is doing Black Ops for a week and Sarah's in Hawaii, so it was good to see her. She grilled kabobs on the grill and made mac-&-cheese, and I brought roasted red potatoes, Andy provided cupcakes, and Gabe & Emily delivered the drinks: Woodchuck Hard Cider. Haven't had that in a long while. We watched "Wilfred" after the meal, and Andy & I headed home to get ready for bed. We watched some more "Wilfred" and I played NBA Jam with Blake, who didn't work today.

Friday. Tiffany & I opened, had a really solid morning. I went to Family Christian in Florence after work to pick up an N.T. Wright bible study on Romans. As much as I find the atmosphere of Family Christian suffocating with its tacky and secular knock-off cultured Christianity, the fact that N.T. Wright's lesser known works are readily available makes it a pretty decent place. God is patient, or at least I'm banking on it (though not in the antinomian way). I spent the afternoon hanging out with Blake and reading The Glorious Cause on the front porch in the sweltering heat; it's felt like autumn recently, but summer's still in full-swing, despite a tree changing colors outside Chiquita, and we've still got a few weeks to go before things start cooling off. I just hate the humidity, the pollen, the heat, I can't stop sneezing, damned allergies. I got Dusmesh for dinner--chicken curry, aloo bhatura, and some beef samosas--and went to a park on Ludlow. I forget the name, it's got a few benches and some trees and a brightly colored playground flanked by polished yet tilting gravestones. I went over to Amos' and we played MW3 and hung out with John, his brother William, and his brother's pregnant wife Ali. She went to C.C.U. when I did, but I never really got to know her at all. 

Saturday. Amos, Andy & I got Dusmesh buffet for lunch (Indian three times this week, four if you include Sunday? Yes, please!). It was baby machete squad meets double rainbow enthusiasm. I ruined Blake's life by parking behind him in the driveway, so after exploring Ludlow and running by the Clifton smoke shop, we dropped Amos off and scurried home so I could move my car. Andy made a French press of Mexican chiapis, and I did some much-needed laundry and cleaning before hitting up The Anchor to begin the N.T. Wright bible study on Romans. It was a good pairing with stale diner coffee, and I can pretty much anticipate Wright's take throughout the study since I've read so many of his books. I went over to Amos' for a bit, and we played MW3 like we usually do till late in the evening, and I picked up some food on my way home and did a loop through Eden Park, thinking about things, clearing my head, reorienting my thoughts.

Sunday. I went by Carew Tower for some coffee, to study Romans, and to visit Isaac & Amos who were running the show. They were slammed when I got in so I hopped on and helped them through the rush. I hiked up to Dayton and went to Southwest with Mom. Emily M. gave a devotional on repentance from Acts 3.19, I was so impressed and proud of her. Last time I saw her she was half her height; goes to show how time just passes like sand through a sieve. We parted ways and I stopped by the house to see Dad and hash out a camping trip for the middle of September: we're going to go hiking and rock climbing at Red River Gorge. Lunch was Subway with Tyler, and we watched The Office and played MW3 and I stopped by Amos' house on my way home to do the very same thing. Isaac and I went to The Anchor for coffee and dinner (fish filet with a side of onion rings, treating myself well!), and I rounded out the night reading The Glorious Cause and chatting with the Wisconsinite.

oh, god, no...

Blake reminded me that this existed.
Please enjoy, at my expense.

in the name of waugh

Space Whale or Earthen Dragon? Which would I rather ride? While my first instinct was to go with the earthen dragon (it resembles a dinosaur, it can fly and breathe fire, and I have an affinity for all scaled creatures), I changed my mind upon finding the picture above. It's like E.T. except it's in space, not on a bike, and a whale. So to answer Andy's first query, I'll have to go with Space Whale, even if I'd die of old age long before the whale carried me anywhere cool (now that we've landed on Mars, the moon is a drag).

Top 5 Domesticated Animals. The question posed is, "Which five animals would you most like to see domesticated?" So, really, the question is "What five animals do you REALLY want to have as a docile pet?" The first would be a rhinoceros, since I really love rhinos. I think it's due either to a horn fetish (tusks do nothing for me) or the fact that it's the closest living thing in resemblance to ceratopsians (think Triceratops). Number 2 would have to be an alligator (goes back to the scaled creatures thing). The third, I think, would be a Velociraptor. It's extinct, I know; and I'm not choosing it because, well, you know, everyone wants a pet Velociraptor. I honestly find them anatomically fascinating, they're pack creatures rather than loaners (a good choice for a domestic pet), and if someone's attacking you, they don't just bite. It's "got a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no, no. He slashes at you here, or here, or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you." So maybe instead of putting Velociraptor all over memes we should show a little respect? Number 4 would be an armadillo (for shits & giggles), and 5 would be, it should go without saying, the drop bear. What is the drop-bear? Cryptozoologists classify it as a rare, hardly ever seen cousin of the koala bear. Basically it's a koala that perches in tree and drops down on its prey (think goats) and bites the prey in the neck (unlike the Velociraptor) and then feasts when the animal's brought down. It's like a koala bear on acid.

The Benefits of Being a Zombie. We're not talking about zombies in the metaphysical since: we're talking real-life walking dead. Forget the Haitian voodoo: this is what happens when the dead rise to feast on the living. Andy asks if there are any benefits to being a zombie? For one, it's a validation for herd mentality. Hipsters would hate it, the bros would dig it. It all boils down to personal preference, beyond brains vs. spaghetti. I personally find there to be no inherent benefits in being a zombie, and that's why my disposition towards them remains as it has always been: kill or be killed. I won't hesitate, I don't care who you are. A bite's a death sentence for YOU, but not for me, UNLESS I take action against you. It's not like I'm always on my toes regarding the possibility of running into a zombie, but (as a Wisconsinite who witnessed my appreciation of a traveling missionary's train in its defense against the undead can testify) I am well aware of the possibility, and I always try to ascertain the best mode of escape. 

the 60th week

one of the awesome pigs on fountain square

Monday. James & I opened at 600, and later on in the evening Emily & I went to Rock Bottom for dinner. They cut our bill down to $7. The nachos were heaping, and I'm ashamed I finished them. Brandon came over when we got back to the house, and we gathered in Blake's room and listened to music and Brandon told us how drug dealers are dealing heroin right outside his apartment complex. "And I just signed another year lease," he moaned.

Tuesday. Jake & I opened, his first solo shift. He rocked it out. We have a really good team right now, the last several people we've hired have been top-notch. I got off earlier than usual, around 1:30, so I spent the afternoon reading on the front porch and then grabbed cottage cheese and coffee at The Anchor before our 600 Vine store meeting at 6:30. I took Amos home and we played MW3, and Andy came over half drunk and we watched cheesy sitcoms and ordered Papa John's Pizza.

Wednesday. I went to The Anchor before closing shop with Brandon. I hung out with Isaac & Andy at the house before grabbing Rock Bottom for dinner and going on a sunset walk through Ault Park down Route 50. 

Thursday. I did F.P. today and delivered two catering orders and got a Jew star from Tiffany for being the only one who showered this morning (though, ironically, I didn't). Back home I played GTAIV before perking up with coffee at The Anchor. Andy, Amos and I met up with Tiffany at the Hilltop, and Eric made us some drinks and we played ping-pong like way back when, and we reminisced on the old days and sought to avoid cussing in the presence of the overly sensitive freshmen. Tiffany & Eric are just like us, they've just sobered up a bit since they had kids. Amos & I grabbed Wendy's and went back to his place and played some MW3.

Friday. Sarah & I opened, and at 2:00 my weekend began. I went to The Anchor for a while to drink some coffee and read, and I returned home to make oven-baked chicken quesadillas for dinner. It was a quiet night with the house to myself.

Saturday. I did some reading at The Anchor upon waking, and then Amos & I got Dusmesh for lunch before playing some more MW3 at his place. We're pretty addicted to it. I spent the late afternoon hanging out with Blake, and then Emily came over and we met up with Brandon and his friend Jesse, who may end up being our new catering director, at Rock Bottom. The bartender gave us drink after drink on the house, and all of our food was comped down so that the bill was only $20 (which we paid in gift cards, leaving a hefty tip). While talking with Tory, the floor manager, I went to drink my summer honey and spilled it all over my unzipped pants. Classic. 

Sunday. I had McDonald's for breakfast and then headed downtown with Blake to do some reading, drink some coffee, and visit Andy & Isaac at Carew. Amos came by, and he came with us back to the house and we watched "Stella" before going back to his place for MW3. Isaac, Andy & Josh made chicken curry and ghetto naan bread. I wasn't going to partake, but my trip to Dayton for a family cookout was cancelled (or, rather, postponed), so they were gracious enough to let me eat with them. I went to The Anchor for a bit and the rest of the night was spent reading on the front porch. I finished Rise to Rebellion and started The Glorious Cause.

[filler]

I was on a solid roll with blog posts at the beginning of the month, but things seem to have fizzled down a bit. I can only keep my steam going for so long. This is, after all, only one aspect of my writing life. But I don't want to lose any readers, so I'm going to compel you to stay with a video (below) as well as the promise of three upcoming posts this week, all instigated by Andy. Here they are:

(1) Space Whale or Earthen Dragon?

(2) Top 5 Animals I Want to See Domesticated

(3) Benefits of Being a Zombie

Now, enjoy this video:

[august contemplations]

8.8 My life's gone off-track, I'm spiraling out of control, I need God back in my life. I've all but fallen off the horse (or, at least, hopped onto another one). I've found it to be the case that the life lived for oneself is one best marked by emptiness, regret, a growing deadness, a cold vice wrapping around a weakening heart. There's no joy here, no peace, only an inner turmoil bathed in darkness. This is all my doing, my own stubborn rebellion, my constant obsession with myself, the frustration with God culminating in a life of foolish, selfish antics. It's time to grow up, to take action, to get serious about what really matters. 

8.9 I've been praying that God would break me, show me my deep need for him, make me want him again. "And God gave them up..." This is the consequence of a life inclined to the self rather than to God, the end-result of a heart lusting after its own crude wants rather than enlivened in its devotion to its Creator. This is a pig-pen, and I lie here filthy and stinky and in rags. There are two options: stay on this course or go home. I can either keep living this fruitless and draining life, persisting in my hope that some fortune will befall me on the winding road; or I can surrender, confess my sins to the Creator, throw myself into his arms and find mercy, grace, refreshment & renewal. Sometimes a man's heart is so curled in on itself that it takes a brush with death and a cold, stinging slap to bring him to his senses, make him see what he's done, what he's become. We can be so deep in slumber, so intoxicated in ourselves, that it takes an earthquake to jar us awake. And what is to be found in surrender, in confessing our evil and waywardness, in kneeling before the king we've all but disavowed and begging for mercy? Not the sword, and not just mercy, but grace, reconciliation, partnership in the king's family and kingdom, and the promise that though life may be a calloused and heartless whore, we're more than conquerors. Life may be a bitch, but there's the promise that in due time all things will be well, and all manner of things well. Hope and human flourishing is to be found in a life of devotion to our Creator, and a life of self-devotion is one marked by decay and culminating in the greatest of deaths. I don't know what will happen with all the frenzied chaos in my life right now, but I know it's time to go home. [written from The Anchor, 5:04 PM]

the 59th week

The Claypole housemates. Not friends. Housemates. 

Monday. Sarah & I opened, and after a hefty nap back home, Emily came over and we made a kick-ass Mediterranean pizza using ingredients from the T.M. salad bar. We were floored at how good it was. She headed home and Amos & Brandy took her spot, and the rest of my evening was spent hanging out with them and Blake and Andy. I was scheduled to close but Isaac has to go to court tomorrow because he gave a serial murderer some bottled water, so Amos is covering his shift at Carew and I'm covering Amos' opening shift at 600.

Tuesday. The day turned out being rather chaotic: superbly understaffed, ridiculously busy, and baristas switching between different stores to accommodate the flow of traffic. Emily was off work, too, tending to things with her husband, Gabe; and thus two of our strongest baristas were unavailable. I made another pizza tonight with my friend Mo out in Hyde Park, and I accidentally locked my keys in my car and Andy & Ams drove out with my spare to rescue me. 

Wednesday. Sarah & I opened with our new hire Jake in training. After work I took a nap and hit up The Anchor for a bit, and then Andy & I ran out to Dusmesh to try their dinner entrees. I had chicken tikka masala with some vegetable samosas and bhatura. Phenomenal. Simply phenomenal. And so much food: I couldn't finish it, and that's saying somethin'. Emily came over and we played with a BB gun we found in the basement, and Isaac came over and we joined Andy watching nature documentaries and "Drunk History." Emily left and Isaac, Andy & I took a late-night drive east out of Cincinnati, through the quaint and Gilmore Girl-esque towns of Mariemont and Milford, and beyond there were McDonalds and CVS Pharmacies and Kroger stores. "Everything's the same everywhere," Isaac mused, noting how the temperature drops five degrees when you get outside the smog-laden city limits. We took 275 into Kentucky and then jumped onto 471N back into Cincinnati, and the dark clouds above the skyline were flickering with pulsing bursts of lightning. 

Thursday. Tiffany & I opened, and I was thankful we had to deal with less chaos than usual. "Ever since you started running mornings, our days are smoother and our sales are up," Brandon told me. "It's been noted." I went to The Anchor to perk up with coffee, foregoing my nap. I'm reading through 2 Corinthians, and it's been eye-opening, to say the least. The highlight of my evening: playing MW3 with Amos back at his place in Over the Rhine.

Friday. Emily & I opened; it's fun working with her, I hardly ever get the opportunity since she's been Isaac's slave over at Carew for the last couple months. The morning was chaotic, but we were a grade-A team. Brandon always notes how we're kick-ass working together, we flow really well. I took a long nap and got Chipotle for dinner. I went on a drive through Eden Park, the storm-clouds pierced by the sun, and then I went to Dayton to pick up my ESV study bible and to see Dad. We caught up on the front porch, watching the cold front's storms recede, Tanner & Sky curled up at our feet. Sky doesn't really like Tanner, but she tolerates him; it's clear that she's the alpha between them. On my way back home I ran by the Speedway on Yankee and saw Mom & Grandma there refueling after their trip home from up north. I headed back home, swinging by Brandon's loft on Vine, and we hung out for a while and then I returned to the Claypole House to hang out with the roommates till 3 AM, listening to music and playing NBA JAM. Andy & I were on the front porch enjoying this frigid autumn-esque night and takin' pictures, and Andy said, "Did you hear about that actress who got stabbed? Her name was Reese something." "Liam Neeson?" I asked. 

Saturday. Quite the busy day. It started off with pastries and a pale horse bourbon latte at 1215 with Brandon & Cat, and then Brandon & I went to Fountain Square to see Luke and his band (Phatty and the Mojos) play for Rock Bottom's 16th Anniversary Party.  Luke's phenomenal on guitar, I must say. Brandon & I went by Carew down the street to see Emily & Sheffy (a new hire who's absolutely ballin'). Brandon & I went back to the square and won free Rock Bottom t-shirts, and when Emily got off work she joined us over at Brandon's to hang out for a couple hours. She left and we met up with Blake at The Anchor. It was Brandon's first time, he loved it: "This place is so epic!" The night ended seeing Gabe & Sarah's band, They Had Voices, playing at Mainstays Bar. Brandon, Emily & I clung to the far right corner in the back (I was enclosed on three sides, it was awesome), and we had a few beers and then everyone headed their separate ways. I rounded out the night playing NBA JAM with Blake and then went to bed.

Sunday. Brunch was a crepe from It's Just Crepes downtown, and Blake and I visited Andy & Emily at Carew. I spent my afternoon reading on the front porch and writing at The Anchor, and then Andy & I went to the Grand China Buffet on Glenway for dinner. It really messed with my stomach, I knew it would. If memory serves me correctly the last time I went there was back in, say, September or October of last year. Those were simpler times, I often find myself looking back on them. Things have changed since then, some changes being good, others being bad. I know those days weren't as perfect as I imagine them to be, but memories change and hindsight's nothing more than forgetting some things and enhancing others, reinterpreting things through a different sort of lens. I'm working on contentment where I'm at now, but I still long for those days like a freezing beggar longs for a winter coat.

total eclipse of the heart (literally)

8/11/12

Drinks and breakfast at 1215 Wine Bar & Coffee Lab.

Lattes from Tazza Mia, Carew Tower.

Festivities on the Square with Rock Bottom Brewery.

Dinner at The Anchor.

And a show at Mainstay Rock Bar on 5th and Plum.

So, yes, it was a pretty good day. 

the judeo-christian worldview: a sketch

Having given a template of the nature of worldviews and how they work, we can now make a sketch of the Judeo-Christian worldview according to the basic worldview parameters. This isn’t a list of what Christians believe so much as a panoramic look at the Christian proclamation: worldviews, as normative, insist that they speak to reality as a whole, and thus the Judeo-Christian worldview assaults the sensitivities of the relativist who would rather all worldviews live in peace and harmony. The relativist’s desires are irrelevant: his own worldview does what he demands other worldviews to avoid, namely asserting itself over against all competing worldviews. While people may snicker and sneer at Christians for advocating a certain approach to reality, and encouraging—even summoning—people to embrace it, and while Christians may be called arrogant for trying to push their views on others, the simple fact is that this worldview can do no other. Every worldview claims to speak to reality as a whole, and the Judeo-Christian worldview, though receiving much more flack than other worldviews, is no different: it simply carries identifiers such as “evangelism” and “conversion” to speak to its own method of doing what all other worldviews do, asserting itself as the correct one and thus encouraging people to accept it as truth and order their lives around it. This isn’t something peculiar to Christianity, it’s just that Christianity’s gotten far more screen-time in this arena than most other worldviews. Now to the sketch:  

The Story. N.T. Wright, in his voluminous book The New Testament and the People of God, gives the Judeo-Christian story as follows: “The story is about a creator and his creation, about humans made in this creator’s image and given tasks to perform, about the rebellion of humans and the dissonance of creation at every level, and particularly about the creator’s acting, through Israel and climactically through Jesus, to rescue his creation from its ensuing plight. The story continues with the creator acting by his own spirit within the world to bring it towards the restoration which is his intended goal for it.” (132) 

The Worldview Questions & Answers. There are four questions every worldview must answer, and Christianity’s answers are as follows: 

Question: “Who are we?”

Answer: “We’re human beings fashioned in the creator’s image, and we have responsibilities that come with the status as God’s image-bearers.”

Question: “Where are we?” 

Answer: “We’re in a beautiful, lovely world created by God but stained by death and decay and subject to corruption.” 

Question: “What’s wrong?” 

Answer: “God’s image-bearers have rebelled against their creator. The result is a disturbance in the connection between the creator and his creator, and as a result the world is severely out-of-tune with the creator’s intentions for it.” 

Question: “What’s the solution?” 

Answer: N.T. Wright puts it wonderfully: “The creator has acted, is acting, and will act within his creation to deal with the weight of evil set up by human rebellion, and to bring his world to the end for which it was made, namely that it should resonate fully with his own presence and glory. This action, of course, is focused upon Jesus and the spirit of the creator.” (133) 

The Symbols. The events & artifacts which have come to embody the basic tenants of this worldview are wide and varied, as should be expected in a global movement. From church spires to cathedrals, from liturgy to prayer gatherings, from the hammering of statues to the painting of icons, from cross necklaces to refugee centers, the symbols that articulate and embody the worldview, and consequently guide its adherents, are myriad. 

The Praxis. Like all worldviews, the Judeo-Christian worldview advocates a certain modus operandi, a certain way of being in the world. But Christianity goes a step further, so that it’s not so much about how we live in the world but, according to N.T. Wright, it’s about how we live for the world. On pages 133-134 he says this is because “in the fundamental Christian worldview humans in general are part of the creator’s designed means of looking after his world, and Christians in particular are part of his means of bringing healing to the world.” As to the inconsistency that’s often found—and spotlighted—within Christians, he observes, “As with all other worldviews… its adherents are not noticeably successful in attaining a complete correlation between their statements about their own being-in-the-world and their actual practice. This is in no way fatal to the theory, it merely means that Christians, like everybody else, are often muddled, mistaken, foolish and wayward, and are probably trying to ride at least one other horse at the same time as the Christian one.” 

Born out of the story, the questions & answers, and the symbols and praxis of the Judeo-Christian worldview are the basic beliefs, which in turn lead to both consequent and subsequent beliefs. Consequent and subsequent beliefs center around things like the peculiarities of God’s nature, the details of the work of Christ, different viewpoints on the Holy Spirit, opinions on revelation, the Bible, and the church. Perhaps someone has a particular view of scripture, or has a certain slant on the atonement. These aren’t basic beliefs, but sometimes the lines are blurred, and Christians will assume their consequent and/or subsequent beliefs are basic beliefs when that’s not the case at all, thus erecting barriers between them and other Christians of differing beliefs. Most debates and discussions within the worldview take place at the level of consequent and subsequent beliefs with the basic beliefs held taught as an anchor, around which everyone moves and thinks. 

This quest of mine focuses on the basic beliefs of the Judeo-Christian worldview. These basic beliefs—the “essentials” as it were, against the non-essentials—are the hinges upon which the worldview either stands or falls. As I wrote earlier, this quest leaves questions regarding consequent and subsequent beliefs on the backburner, since they’re not integral to the health of the worldview. The basic beliefs of Christianity include things such as “God exists” and “God cares” and “Jesus was raised from the dead.” If you eliminate God, you destroy the worldview. If you eliminate his caring disposition towards creation, you end up with deism which is incompatible with Christianity (despite the attempts of Enlightenment thinkers to reconcile the two). If you eliminate Jesus’ resurrection from the dead, the matter is quite simple, easy for anyone to understand; as St. Paul puts it in 1 Corinthians 15.17-18, “[If] Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” Thus it is the basic beliefs that demand attention. 

Ultimately the Quest comes back to the riddle of assumptions. You know the old adage: “To ‘assume’ means to make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’” Assumptions undergird the way that we view the world, and no worldview is without its assumptions. These assumptions are the foundation of a worldview’s basic beliefs, and Christianity is no exception: we assume God exists, we assume he cares for us and his world, we assume Jesus was raised from the dead. These assumptions are necessary in order to truly believe in & invest in the worldview. If we assume that God does not exist, then we could be deemed atheists. If we assume God does not care, then we’re deists. If we assume Jesus was not raised from the dead, then why the hell would we align ourselves with the Judeo-Christian worldview? As I wrote back in March, the Quest is about determining whether or not the assumptions needed for the Judeo-Christian worldview are justifiable: “Can I intelligently make this assumption without sacrificing logic & reason?” While Christianity may indeed make sense of our world in a simple and coherent manner that sheds light on issues outside its immediate concern, this doesn’t automatically validate it. If the assumptions needed to keep it standing are untenable, then the whole thing is called into question. Over the next couple months I’m going to go through some of Christianity’s biggest assumptions and seek to defend them. 

Is the assumption that God exists a justifiable assumption? 

Is the assumption that God cares a justifiable assumption?

Is the assumption that Jesus rose from the dead a justifiable assumption?

These are the three pillars upon which Christianity lives or dies. There are countless other assumptions, but these are the big ones, and thus they’re the ones that demand to be dealt with. All the posts throughout this week serve as a sort of prolegomenon to the issue at hand, setting-the-stage, as it were, for what’s around the corner. Per usual I’m giving no timeline regarding when these posts will show up; I’m taking my time going through them, not hurrying myself as if there were some deadline. I think that’s the best way to go about this. So, until then, keep maintaining your groovy selves!

on worldviews (III)

Underneath the over-arching stories provided by worldviews are the worldview’s basic beliefs and aims. These can be considered the “core essentials” of the worldview, the basic beliefs which all adherents cling to. Branching out from these are subsequent beliefs and intentions about reality, and these branch off in various directions, into consequent beliefs and intentions, encompassing the variety of differing opinions and beliefs held by those within the worldview. Most debates and discussions within a worldview takes place at the level of consequent beliefs, the shared basic beliefs serving as an anchor keeping the discussion going in the right direction. 

This all seems very complicated, but it’s actually quite simple. An example: within Christianity, there is the Basic Belief that God cares deeply about his fallen creation. Subsequently, there is the belief that God is personal and active within the world because of his care for the world. However, within Christianity there are differing opinions regarding how God’s care is manifest. These are consequent beliefs, shading off from the cascading beliefs originating from the basic belief. One Christian may be more of a stoic regarding God’s involvement in the world, while another might believe that God is active in every mundane detail. Both agree that God cares and is active in the world, but they disagree about the extent to which God is actually involved. Both are adherents to the worldview and enjoy the bond of shared belief, but at the same time they’re able to hold their own opinions regarding that involvement without sacrificing membership in the worldview. When it comes to critiquing a worldview, oftentimes the critiques focusing on consequent beliefs rather than basic beliefs, and by doing so the worldview itself isn’t actually critiqued but, rather, a version of it comes under fire. The aim in The Quest is to bring the Basic Beliefs under scrutiny, to determine whether or not these beliefs are justifiable, whether or not they make sense of the data in a simple way and shed light on issues outside immediate concern.

on worldviews (II)

Worldviews, at their most basic level, do four things: (1) They give the stories through which we view reality, (2) they answer the Big Questions, (3) they express themselves in cultural symbols, and (4) they include a praxis, a manner of living that is in accordance with reality. We’ll take these one at a time. 

The Stories. Worldviews aren’t systematic, bullet-point lists giving the ins-&-outs of how reality works. There’s no worldview that simply relies on physics or mathematics, despite what some will have you think. Even those who believe that in the end the universe is nothing more than the interaction of mathematical equations is believing this in light of an over-arching story. Worldviews consist of stories, of narrative tales around which we organize our lives. The Judeo-Christian worldview is composed of an over-arching story under which are sub-stories: the over-arching story being the rescue of creation by the Creator, the sub-stories being those little events all along the way. Worldviews hinge upon story, and any attempt to get rid of the story makes the worldview collapse in on itself. 

The Big Questions. The “worldview questions” are those which every worldview must answer. There are four: “Who are we? Where are we? What is wrong? What’s the solution?” Every worldview answers these questions, and even if a worldview denies the validity of a question—such as the notion that something is wrong—that’s still an answer to the question. Christianity advocates peculiar answers to these questions, as does every worldview, and these answers are subject to criticism & scrutiny, though the most die-hard adherents are often terrified of such irreverence. 

The Symbols. The stories and answers provided by a worldview are expressed in cultural symbols. These symbols can be objects or events, they can be social gatherings and little prayers, architecture and songs. These symbols are protected, and oftentimes the symbols don’t show themselves until they’re challenged. In a sense, these symbols serve as boundary-markers: those who embrace them are Insiders, those who don’t are Outsiders. They’re easy ways to see which worldview a person publically embraces. The symbols of a worldview are affected by the subsequent and consequent beliefs within the worldview (see the next post in line), and thus there’s a variation of symbols within worldviews. 

The Praxis. Every worldview provides a certain manner of being in the world, a modus operandi. The actual contours of a person’s worldview is most evident not in the stories and answers and symbols they claim to hold dear but in the way that they live their lives. One’s habitual actions, one’s decisions, the way a person shapes his or her life all speak to the worldview held. The choice of life direction—making money, getting into a vocation, raising a family, etc.—all reflect one’s worldview, as do the underlying intentions and motivations of the person. It should be noted, of course, that an inconsistency in praxis doesn’t invalidate a person’s worldview, but could simply be illuminating the fact that we’re muddled creatures who often have our hands in two different cookie jars at the same time.

on worldviews (I)

Seeking to determine the justifiability of the Judeo-Christian worldview, a word on worldviews must certainly be made. To quote N.T. Wright in The New Testament and the People of God, “Worldviews are the basic stuff of human existence, the lens through which the world is seen, the blueprint for how one should live in it, and above all the sense of identity and place which enables human beings to be what they are.” (124) Worldviews are normative, in the sense that they claim to speak to the whole of reality rather than to bits & pieces. Worldviews are invisible but vital to life, the lenses through which people understand and interpret the world around them. One’s worldview is the grid around which she organizes reality; as much as we’d like to think we wrap our worldviews around reality, the opposite is actually the case. Everyone has a worldview: even the relativist, declaring that all worldviews are equally valid despite being contradictory, is himself operating within a worldview, within a story around which reality is molded. Many of us aren’t aware of our worldviews until they’re challenged, and many of us claim to hold a certain worldview while actually holding quite a different one: what we say we believe is rendered valid or invalid dependent upon the way we actually live and operate in the world. What a person habitually does, the way a person organizes and lives his life, is more an indicator of one’s worldview rather than the claims that person may vocally make. 

 Back to the issue at hand: when it comes to worldviews, how do we determine if they are justifiable? How do we determine if they can be held by reasonable, thinking, intelligent people? When it comes to the sciences, any hypothesis is considered valid if it (a) makes sense of the data, (b) does so with simplicity, and (c) carries weight into matters beyond its own. When it comes to worldviews, we can’t prove this or that one is true or that this or that one is false. There’s simply no such thing as objective proof. Validating a worldview happens when the worldview makes more sense of the world than the alternate worldviews, when the worldview handles all the little details of our world with elegance and simplicity, and when the worldview sheds light on the grayer areas of our world. This is, in a nutshell, what I’ve been trying to determine: “Does Christianity make sense of our world better than the competing stories? Does Christianity handle all the quirks and quagmires of our world with simplicity? Does Christianity bring light to issues outside its immediate concern?” The answer I’m advocating is YES to all of these, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

back to the quest...

It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything substantial regarding The Quest, but don’t let this make you think it’s been forgotten or pushed to the backburner. The absence of posts speaks merely to the absence of posts, not to what’s been going on (or not been going on) inside this crazed little mind of mine. This Quest of mine is all about figuring out whether or not the Judeo-Christian worldview is a justifiable worldview, and I’ve sought to do this by examining the key assumptions within that worldview. The key word here is “justifiable”: I don’t believe, for reasons given below, that anyone can truly come to know whether or not the Judeo-Christian worldview is the right one. We’re foolish and muddled creatures, and any idea that we can know something with one hundred percent certainty simply illuminates our foolishness. Thus the Quest is aimed not at determining if Christianity is correct but if it’s justifiable: “Is this an intelligent worldview that makes sense of the data and which can be held onto and even embraced without sacrificing logic, reason, and common sense?” 

 There are many worldviews out there, more than one could name, and the Judeo-Christian worldview is but one. This has been quite clear as of late, what with all the hoopla surrounding Chic-Fil-A and their CEO supporting “family values” and donating to global organizations seeking to preserve the sanctity of marriage. The whole fiasco comes down to one worldview coming into conflict with another, and the result is friction, turbulence, earthquakes. But back to the main thrust: before getting into why I believe, after months of studying, praying, and thinking, that Christianity is indeed justifiable, I want to make it known why the Quest’s aim has been to determine the worldview’s validity over against its inherent truthfulness. 

 Epistemology is the science of knowing, the philosophical branch focused on how we know things. While one might think that we can know things matter-of-factly, the reality is that we don’t look at the world as is but through the lens of our worldview. We think the way we think because of how we perceive the world. We know things from one point-of-view on the spectrum, and that’s our point-of-view, and thus there’s no such thing as a bird’s-eye (or God’s-eye) point-of-view. Everything that happens around us is both perceived and interpreted through our expectations, our over-arching stories, our psychological states, through our biases and opinions and memories. The way we see the world is laced with assumptions that encourage us to look at reality, and interpret reality, in a certain way. Worldviews color the way we see the world, direct us in the way we understand ourselves and our universe. We’re not neutral or objective in the way we see and understand the world, and there’s no such thing as an observer who is detached from reality, able to look at it “as is.”

Given all this, one could easily become a phenomalist, declaring that nothing at all can be known with any degree of certainty or plausibility, and that in the end, the only thing we can know is what our sensory data tells us. The phenomalist might say, “I could very well be plugged into some machine generating this whole world that seems real to me but is really only virtual; the only thing I can know is what my senses are telling me. They’re telling me this is real, but I can’t be certain that they’re actually telling me the truth.” Placing emphasis on one’s biases and opinions, phenomenalists will point out that what we believe about the world isn’t a reflection of the world but a reflection of ourselves: whereas one might say that we see reality through the telescope of our worldviews, phenomenalists will say that we’re not looking into a telescope but, rather, a mirror. Phenomenalists are a dying breed, as are their opponents on the far opposite side of the spectrum, the positivists who can be found in every worldview. These positivists believe in facts that are objectively true, things about which we can have absolute and certain knowledge, things able to be tested within the physical world. All we can truly know is what the physical world tells us, through empirical testing. The “Dark Side of Positivism” is that anything that can’t be tested in such a manner is downgraded to being subjective and relative, a sort of concession to the phenomenalists, and in this vein it’s no leap for any beliefs taking place outside the physically testable realm to be rendered null & void. This is precisely what’s happened, especially within the physical sciences, and though it’s been discarded by most philosophers for the last few decades, it remains prominent within several different movements, not least the New Atheism with which I’ll be writing about in a few weeks. 

How, then, do we move forward? How do we seek to determine if the Judeo-Christian worldview is justifiable, and therefore valid, when we can’t know anything for certain? Are we to concede to the phenomenalists, declaring that we can really know nothing, or are we to backtrack to the positivists, accepting that there are some things outside the physical realm that we just can’t observe, test, and thus can’t validate? In the end is it all up to our whims and fancies, are we simply left alone to believe what we will? I don’t think so. We must acknowledge that we’re not passive observers, that we’re not casual bystanders who have a God’s-eye view on things. This should foster a bit of humility, but it’s no excuse for blindly accepting interpretations of the world, even our own. When it comes to The Quest, there is both the acknowledgement that my mental faculties operate within a grid not of my choosing; and there is also the acknowledgement that my mental faculties do exist, and I am a thinking, rational, critical being. The phenomenalist advocates the mirror but I advocate the telescope. Our perception of the world, our worldview, must be challenged, and in the challenge the worldview ought to be reinforced, changed, or discarded based upon what makes the most sense of the data. 

The route I’ve chosen with The Quest is as follows: examine the core assumptions of the worldview and see if these assumptions stand up to scrutiny. Assumptions such as the existence of God, the caring nature of God, the historicity of the resurrection, etc. are all integral assumptions that keep the Judeo-Christian worldview afloat. The more assumptions, the loftier the assumptions, the greater the risk of the worldview crumbling: too many assumptions may break the camel’s back, and a plethora of implausible assumptions does likewise. My thinking, praying, and studying over these last couple months has focused on some of the key assumptions within the Judeo-Christian worldview (some stated above), and over the next couple weeks and months I plan on going through them one-by-one, sharing my thoughts on them, for whatever they’re worth (probably not much!). But before doing this, a word on worldviews is in order.

the 58th week

Andy & Blake at U.D.F. These are my friends.

Monday. Amos & I left the Claypole House around 5:35 AM: I opened at 600, he opened at Carew, covering for Isaac who's still in Portland but getting back tomorrow. Sarah was my opener, and we rocked it out with our Brazilian sidekick Ana. After work I ran some errands and went to The Anchor for a bit, and then Emily came over bearing gifts: some Raging Bitch Belgian-style India pale ale. We sat on the front porch and enjoyed the beers, and Tiffany joined us for a bit and then Brandon arrived. Amos & Brandy came over, and we all hung out late into the evening, and when Ams came home she came with her own gifts: Rally's for dinner. I ate on the front porch in the dead of night and then went to bed.

Tuesday. I opened with James, and when I got home Gambill came by to pick up his bike. We sat on the front porch and caught up; I haven't seen him since Mandy left, and now the drama's subsided. Some, those who know him least, may call me crazy, but I do miss our friendship. I went to The Anchor to read Rise to Rebellion, all about the events leading up to the American Revolution, and I ate dinner there, too: a western omelette with a side of biscuits and gravy. I went over to Amos' for a bit. Erin's sister is in town. We hung out with Brandy and Ams joined us later in the night. 

Wednesday. I went to The Anchor before work, and after closing down 600, Andy & I headed down into Florence for an amazing Cracker Barrel dinner: 2 eggs, sausage, ham, bacon, grits, fried apples, hash-browns, dumplins, and three biscuits and gravy for only $10! It's such a deal, we've got to take advantage of that more often. We talked about how Amos is moved out, how Ams is moving in with Sarah at the beginning of September, how Andy's looking for his own place. I don't know what Blake's doing yet, haven't talked to him about since I never see him during the week since he works 3rd shift. Nevertheless, I've been looking at apartments around Cincinnati, especially Northside. Part of me would like to stay at the Claypole House for a while more, but a change may be good for me. And, soon, it may be necessary.

Thursday. Brandon & I opened, and after work I took a long-ass nap and then picked Amos up from downtown around 6:00, and we went back to his place for an evening hanging out with John & Brandy, playing video games and eating a delicious impromptu meal courtesy of John: barbecue chicken cooked on the grill, paired with mashed potatoes and baked beans. 

Friday. I went to The Anchor before closing with Amos, spent my time there drinking coffee and researching apartments yet again. As of now I can afford anything at or below $500, and Northside has lots of options, not to mention it's not West Price Hill. If everything unravels according to plan, I'm looking for a move-in date around the beginning of October. It'd be nice having my own place, a grown-up move, though word is that C. Isaac is looking into the Claypole House if Andy & Blake both leave. There's the option of staying at the Claypole House, if that were to happen, but still: a change might do me well, rip me from this awful stagnation of the last couple months. After work I talked with Mandy over Skype, and Blake, Andy, and Amos joined us on the front porch for some classic Front Porch Timez (yes, with a Z), and Isaac was there, too. I got Wendy's for dinner and spent the evening watching British sitcoms with Blake and enjoying good midnight conversation with Andy on the front porch. Blake and I heard fireworks, and he exclaimed, in not-so-subtle but beloved mockery, "What is that? Antietam?" I love him.

Saturday. I went to The Anchor and then had Dusmesh for lunch with Andy. I took a three-hour nap and then went to Miami Whitewater down 74. It was nice and woodsy with a ruddy lake. My arms got tore up by bugs, but nothing comparable to Brandy: 100+ bites (she counted), plus a spider bite on her face. It was good to get out of the city. I smelled a skunk and liked it. Blayne came over, and we went to UDF for ice cream (Blake & I both got peanut butter shakes), and I did some more apartment searching before chatting with the Wisconsinite before bed. She'll be making a trip down here the last week of September, I look forward to it.

Sunday. I had McDonald's for breakfast and then ran to Carew to see Andy & Isaac and to get a drink. I spent the afternoon playing Grand Theft Auto IV, doing laundry, cleaning my room, and reading Rise to Rebellion. It's superbly good, I'm 300+ pages into it, just past Lexington & Concord. I went to The Anchor for coffee, hammering out some posts to be unveiled. This blog's really been hit-or-miss lately, and I'm seeking to remedy that. Once my coffee was drained, I returned home and hung out with Blake & Andy, and then I ended the night with some oven-baked pizza and Moscato on the front porch.

As mentioned above, I spent a considerable amount of time stitching together some posts to be published throughout this week. I haven't forgotten The Quest, have been thinking about it a lot, and I think it's time to get a lot of this stuff out of my head and onto the screen. I'm not promising anything good, great, grand, or even decent (after all, these are my thoughts, so they may very well be frightening). But the time for me to "catch up" with The Quest has come, and I hope these upcoming posts will be interesting for those who care enough to read. Koalabeast out!

a query from andy

How dinosaurs probably had sex. It's kinkier with feathers.

On Sunday mornings I try to swing by the T.M. location in the Carew Tower to grab some coffee. I tell customers that I don't drink much coffee, but I've been coming to realize that I drink far more coffee than I let on. When I close I have about two cups of coffee at The Anchor each morning, and when I open I'll often drink every half-decent espresso shot I pull while dialing in the espresso grinder. On weekends I come to see how much I rely on coffee, because my day feels sluggish without it. And so, come most Sundays, I make the trip down to Carew Tower for my iced soy mocha with a splash of vanilla. Andy was working, and as he made my drink he asked me what I had on the agenda for the day. I told him I planned on doing some catching-up on my blog, that it's already August 5 and I haven't posted anything this month, and he recommended a post idea. And you know what? I like Andy, so I'm running with it.

Query: "Is it possible that dinosaurs were really our ancient alien overlords, and we overthrew them using a magic meteor?" I pointed out that it was an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, as the impact residue is of that type, and he pointed out that it didn't matter if it was a comet or an asteroid, it was a meteor the moment it breached earth's stratosphere, so he was right after all. Bantering aside, his hypothesis is one that demands to be taken seriously (seeing as people will believe anything these days, and who can blame them?). It can't be proven to be true or false, not once the word "magic" gets thrown in. And even if you somehow wiggle in time travel and John Hammond, you've still got a time loop to deal with (Hammond creates dinosaurs off dinosaur DNA; Hammond goes back in time to let his dinosaurs loose in the otherwise boring Mesozoic; and then the dinosaurs let loose get bitten by big-ass mosquitoes which become encased in amber to be found by John Hammond). Is it possible that this hypothesis is correct? Depending on your slant with epistemology, it surely could be. Is it likely? Even plausible? As if that matters! If we can't really know anything for certain anyways, why not believe what you like the most? Why not just believe that which is the most awesome? If that were the ruler by which I measured my beliefs, I certainly would've become a die-hard premillennialist. All that Armageddon, End-of-the-World stuff is pretty awesome. What we can know, even with plausibility, and much less with certainty, has its limits; and if we're ready to concede those silly bits of creationism about dinosaurs and humans living together as legitimate science, then why can't any brand of pseudo-science be welcomed into the fold? Maybe if Andy advocates his views well enough, perhaps find some amateur paleontologist named Kenny Ham to be his wing-man and spokesperson, maybe Andy could even have his own museum one day?