Space Whale or Earthen Dragon? Which would I rather ride? While my first instinct was to go with the earthen dragon (it resembles a dinosaur, it can fly and breathe fire, and I have an affinity for all scaled creatures), I changed my mind upon finding the picture above. It's like E.T. except it's in space, not on a bike, and a whale. So to answer Andy's first query, I'll have to go with Space Whale, even if I'd die of old age long before the whale carried me anywhere cool (now that we've landed on Mars, the moon is a drag).
Top 5 Domesticated Animals. The question posed is, "Which five animals would you most like to see domesticated?" So, really, the question is "What five animals do you REALLY want to have as a docile pet?" The first would be a rhinoceros, since I really love rhinos. I think it's due either to a horn fetish (tusks do nothing for me) or the fact that it's the closest living thing in resemblance to ceratopsians (think Triceratops). Number 2 would have to be an alligator (goes back to the scaled creatures thing). The third, I think, would be a Velociraptor. It's extinct, I know; and I'm not choosing it because, well, you know, everyone wants a pet Velociraptor. I honestly find them anatomically fascinating, they're pack creatures rather than loaners (a good choice for a domestic pet), and if someone's attacking you, they don't just bite. It's "got a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no, no. He slashes at you here, or here, or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is, you are alive when they start to eat you." So maybe instead of putting Velociraptor all over memes we should show a little respect? Number 4 would be an armadillo (for shits & giggles), and 5 would be, it should go without saying, the drop bear. What is the drop-bear? Cryptozoologists classify it as a rare, hardly ever seen cousin of the koala bear. Basically it's a koala that perches in tree and drops down on its prey (think goats) and bites the prey in the neck (unlike the Velociraptor) and then feasts when the animal's brought down. It's like a koala bear on acid.
The Benefits of Being a Zombie. We're not talking about zombies in the metaphysical since: we're talking real-life walking dead. Forget the Haitian voodoo: this is what happens when the dead rise to feast on the living. Andy asks if there are any benefits to being a zombie? For one, it's a validation for herd mentality. Hipsters would hate it, the bros would dig it. It all boils down to personal preference, beyond brains vs. spaghetti. I personally find there to be no inherent benefits in being a zombie, and that's why my disposition towards them remains as it has always been: kill or be killed. I won't hesitate, I don't care who you are. A bite's a death sentence for YOU, but not for me, UNLESS I take action against you. It's not like I'm always on my toes regarding the possibility of running into a zombie, but (as a Wisconsinite who witnessed my appreciation of a traveling missionary's train in its defense against the undead can testify) I am well aware of the possibility, and I always try to ascertain the best mode of escape.
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