pre-engagement: my true feelings

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There’s nervousness, that’s for sure. How do you really know what the future holds? Is love enough? I was reading a magazine the other day about couples who fell in love on reality t.v. shows and became married, only to divorce after having children. How does anyone really know for sure that the person you’re thinking about marrying is “the One.” Is there even such a thing as the One? I don’t think so. I think we mesh better with different people, and marriage is the pinnacle of a romantic relationship. But romantic feelings aren’t supernatural or spiritual; they’re physiological, a concoction of love chemicals mixing together in the brain. I probably sound quite skeptical and even cy nical. But I do love Karen. And I do want to marry her. I want her to be the mother of my children. I want to grow old with her and live my life beside her. She’s a beautiful girl, inside and out. Of course we have our conflicts. Many a night has been spent trying to resolve problems and issues while over the phone. But all relationships have conflict. I know I’m rambling. How do I really feel about proposing to Karen? How do I really feel about marrying Karen? Honestly, I’m nervous. Not about being with Karen, but mostly about the financial issues that will spring up. How will we pay for rent, for insurance, the bills? We won’t be moving into a house right away; we’ll be getting an apartment for sure. We don’t plan on getting married until I graduate college. But even then, she’ll be halfway through with her Master’s program, which is costing a fortune. But I love her, my family likes her, her family likes me. Her niece introduced me to someone and said, “This is my future uncle!” It was so sweet! I’m feeling good about proposing and eventually marrying Karen. Don’t ask me when I’m going to propose; I really don’t know. But we need to smooth out the financial feathers before leaping into this lifetime commitment.