the 55th week

Fountain Square is waaaay too crowded for my tastes

Monday. Sarah & I opened together, and after hanging out with Blakey a bit back at the house I went to The Anchor and spent much of the afternoon and evening writing. It was a low-key night hanging out with the roommates. Andy and I ordered nachos from Rock Bottom and I picked them up and we ate them in front of "The Office".

Tuesday. I went to The Anchor before closing with Amos, and we rushed to my car to try and outrun the World Choir Games parade that had downtown packed to the gills. The evening was spent watching TV and playing video games with Amos. Andy's been applying for jobs, has a couple interview. I need to get on that. Ams & I had a good heart-to-heart, albeit over text (since she was working), and I can empathize with her. I feel lonely and lifeless, envious of the happiness of the families all around me. Empty, barren, poured-out and stretched thin, aching for the fresh wind of change but feeling only the stifling and stagnant humidity.

Wednesday. I did another bout at The Anchor before closing with Brandon. The rest of the evening was spent (a) reading The Last Full Measure, (b) gamin' with Amos, and (c) hanging out with Patrick D.: we got dinner at the Irish Pub downtown, and my Bass Red Ale came free from the head chef (he gets a large caramel latte, religiously). Pat remarked, "I can't go anywhere with you downtown without someone giving you free drinks!" And to top it off, my mussels in a garlic-white wine herb broth were off-the-charts, far better than my own previous attempts at home-steamed mussels. Pat & I returned to my place, and we sat on the back porch and played some Call of Duty. "Doesn't this remind you of when we used to go over to Chris & Lee's just to play Goldeneye on the N64 for hours?" Pat remarked. We spent much of the evening on the front porch talking about our stations in life. It's always good to talk to him about such things. He pointed out that though I may be fearful about the future, I've got a good head on my shoulders and am decently well-grounded. I may not have everything figured out, but I'm asking questions lots of people don't, and I've got more squared away than many.

Thursday. Stephanie and I opened together, had a really solid morning despite a rushed catering order. I grabbed Chipotle for dinner, talked with Ams for a bit back home, and spent the evening hanging out with Amos & Andy. Related to my health: the lymph nodes still haven't grown, and indeed they may even be smaller! I'm calming down, slowly but surely, though sometimes I still freak out, and the stress, albeit less intense, remains. Most, if not all, of my current complaints are most likely due to stress. And I'm not alone: the aches & pains are shared among all of those slaving away at 600 Vine. There are moments when I start thinking I have lymphoma again: but the nodes don't match, and the gauntlet of tests tell me that my blood is exceptional and I have healthy bones. There's really no reason to worry, except for that little beast called Uncertainty, and yet--at times--I do, even to the point of letting the unknown of it all cloud my entire day is the most unfortunate way. But I must let logic & reason trump all irrational fears birthed from paranoia.

Friday. I went to The Anchor but had to leave early, since Stephanie was violently sick. The World Choir Games are coming to an end, but the 90,000 foreigners who've descended upon the city have spread germs unknown to us, and now Cincinnati's reporting a skyrocketing number of sicknesses. On my way in I was stuck in traffic downtown for fifteen minutes, and I was stopped at the light on 5th and Vine for two signal changes because someone decided to just start unloading their car in the middle of the road to get to Fountain Square with no concern for the other drivers. Truly irritated me. If I had road rage... Today was Tiffany's 26th birthday, so we celebrated with some free Rock Bottom in the back room: brewery nachos, ballpark pretzels, and a growler of the Summer Honey Ale. We downed most of the growler before the lunch rush, and thus we were feeling pretty good once the chaos began. After work Brandon had to take the Tazz Mobile to 1215, so I rode along. I spent the night in Dayton, needing to get out of the jam-packed city (see picture above), and Grandma & I sat out on the front porch long past sunset. Mom & Dad went to Cincinnati for the Red's Game, so it was just me and Grandma, and we made do. When she went to bed I cuddled with Sky on the sofa and she fell asleep while we watched Civil War documentaries. On a sad note, Grandma told me that Grandpa has cancer, as does his two sisters. Cancer, cancer. It's all over the place these days. It used to be called death by natural causes; now we have names for all of them. My prayers go out to him. "I wish no ill of him," Grandma said, "despite all he's done to us." She's one of the most forgiving people I know. It's true what I told Brandon: "Being home, around unconditional love, is the best remedy to my stress and anxiety."

Saturday. Grandma & I started the morning with coffee and the newspaper on the front porch, Tanner curled up at my feet. We got McDonald's for breakfast and LaRosa's for lunch (Dad joining us after his run). I went over to Tyler's for a bit, and we talked and listened to music (he's really into Rihanna & Katy Perry for some reason), and we shot zombies on Call of Duty: World at War. I went to The Anchor on my drive home, and I spent the evening hanging out with Blake & Amos. I went on a city-lights drive across the bridge to Newport and went to the Beer Sellar on the river. I just got a diet coke, 'cause beer messes with my stomach, and I sat on the barge's deck and watched the fireworks from Covington reflecting in the skyscraper windows across the river (and, with the river, you know I imagined it to be the sounds of that cursed stone wall the Federals sought to take after crossing the river at Fredericksburg). I was wearing stained shorts, a green t-shirt WAY too big for me, my hair was a mess and my black shoes with white socks couldn't even touch the ground from the stool. I was a hot mess and got more than a couple second-takes, and I smiled, thought, I'm the craziest person these people could ever know. You wouldn't expect it from a 25-year-old who looks like he's 16 tops. The highlight of the day was an hour-long phone conversation with Mandy K., catching up on life. It was supposed to be only ten minutes, but you know how that goes. It was really great to talk to her, to laugh with her, to hear her voice. We've been exchanging emails during her time "in the field" at Camp Grow, and I like that.

Sunday. I went to The Anchor and watched some Youtube videos countering the New Atheism movements. Some were super good, others superbly pathetic. After running errands in Delhi, I waited out a thunderous storm and then drove to Dayton (yes, again: I forgot my netbook charger at Mom & Dad's), and I waited out yet another storm at Tyler's playing Call of Duty. I returned to Cincinnati, played hockey with Amos, went on a sunset drive, and enjoyed Front Porch Timez (yes, with a Z) with Andy & Isaac. I was in bed by 10:00. Ams, having read one of my recent blog posts, remarked, "You really ARE an old man!"