January. Ashley and I celebrated New Year's Eve at both John & Brandy's and with Keith & Rachel. This cold month was marked by Skyrim (what Zoey called "the alien game") and The Clone Wars, and I was promoted from a lowly Direct Care Specialist to House Manager at Ridgecrest. Ashley and I had a lot of difficult but necessary conversations, and we spent a lot of time weeping with one another. I did a lot of research into Graduate School but didn't lock anything down. Ashley and I devoured nachos at Rock Bottom and enjoyed several nights of alone time at the Hobbit Hole. I binge-watched the Star Wars original trilogy and prequels in the Hobbit Hole before seeing The Force Awakens with Ams, Amos, and Hot Sauce Waugh. Ophie had her babies, and we spent a lot of time taking care of them at the house (Pipsqueak, unfortunately, died).
February. Ashley and I started off the month with a Date Night with Mexican foods and pineapple margaritas. This month I finally became debt free, Ophie's puppies grew bigger, and we got a new addition to the family: our pitt bull Adaline. I took Ben and Jason the Annual Down Syndrome Benefit Dance in Newport, and the week after a ferocious snowstorm hit that made my car stall out on the highway. I barely made it home without getting in a wreck. Ashley and the girls made me gifts for Valentine's Day, and I discovered Z Nation and Narcos. I told Ashley that I loved her for the first time, and she wept as I held her. "I've waited so long to hear that from you," she sobbed. The end of the month was marked by an ending and a beginning: Charlie, John's adopted grandfather, passed away at 94 years old at Winton Ridge, and Keith and Rachel had their baby: little Evelyn!
March. My hours at week increased to 60-80. Chloe and I did a couple breakfasts out before I took her to school. She loves those breakfasts almost as much as I do. Spring-like temperatures enabled Ashley, the girls, and I to enjoy Keehner Park, and I retired "Greedo" from Skyrim. It sucked a lot of my life away in January and Febrary. I read a bunch of dinosaur books, and after my birthday (which was spent working), Ashley and I hiked at Caesar's Creek, searched for fossils in the rain, toured the Pioneer Village, and after visiting some antique shops we got dinner at the Village Inn in Waynesville. John & Brandy celebrated Amanda and my birthdays at Winton Ridge. Ben, Jason, and I did some fossil hunting at Caesar's Creek the next week, and then Ashley and I took an extended vacation to Shawnee Forest in eastern Ohio. We hiked up a gigantic hill, found a hilltop pond filled with salamander eggs, had an amazing dinner at Mill Tavern, and promptly fell asleep in our hotel. I dropped an entire six-pack of beer all over John & Brandy's driveway, and Brandy wasn't too happy about helping me scour the driveway for glass at 12 AM in the dark and rain. Easter came and went, and I mortified Chloe by showing her a picture of a rabbit being eaten by a snake and saying, "The Easter Bunny didn't make it."
April. Ashley and I took the girls to the Newport Aquarium, and on the way out I scratched the length of the van on a cement pillar (I nursed my wounded pride with dinner at Cracker Barrel). A knife-wielding man was shot on Interstate 75, and Brandy, Amos, and I were left on the edge of our seats with the Season Six finale of The Walking Dead. I was hit with a debilitating sickness in the wake of the finale of The Walking Dead (it happens like clockwork) and spent a week barely holding on to my health. Once I recovered I discovered the joy of dinosaur cladograms, and I got to meet up with Corey Isaac for cigarettes and coffee at The Anchor (he came in from Portland). Winton Ridge embraced Crossroads Church's "Brave Group," and it was then that I decided to get gritty with Graduate School and get the ball rolling. My first class: World History. Ashley and I had a Date Night at Mainstrausse; we grabbed drinks at the Village Pub and dinner at Zola's Grill. By the end of the month I'd finished the first rough draft of The Procyon Strain: Book Two.
May. Ashley started working at Speedway to make a little extra money, and Chloe and I began playing chess together. Brandy turned 30 the first week of May, and I joined her and some friends for drinks and brunch at the Draft Yacht Club and we played Mario-Kart 200cc. I spent most of the month studying for school, and on Mother's Day Ashley, the girls, and I traveled up to my parent's and did dinner at Skyline Chili while Dad tinkered around on my Honda Civic. Zoey and I adventured in the wetlands, and I'm afraid my lectures on the Ordovician Period went right over her head. This month it became clear that Adaline's connected to my hip, and Ashley was pretty jealous. Ashley and I went to Chloe's school play and marveled at her artwork on display in the school's cafeteria. Keith and Rachel moved into Kennesaw, and Brave Group came to an end. Pat D. and I reconnected with dinner at City BBQ, and I met his girlfriend Emily. On Ashley's birthday we went to a party for Andy's birthday at Winton Ridge; we had a fantastic time, and everyone got a hoot out of Zoey falling out of her chair multiple times and being humped ragged by Clover.
June. I finalized (and published) The Procyon Strain: Book Two (two years in the making!). Ashley worked on Memorial Day, so the girls and I spent the day swimming and hanging out with Mom and Dad at their place in Centerville. Social Services became involved with some things concerning the girls and their grandparents, and though they said they'd take the stand in defense of the girls' claims, they didn't press charges. I wrapped up the Middle Ages in school and began the Age of Revolution. The highlight of this month was the Barnhart Family Vacation in Gloucester, Massachusetts: we went whale watching, ate fresh-caught seafood, and visited Boston, Salem, and Maine. It was a fantastic vacation with lots of great memories.
July. Ashley and I kicked off the month devouring fresh lobster at the house (scratch that off my bucket list!), and I celebrated my last Thursday at Gorman Heritage Farms (thanks, Phil!). I was able to grab lunch one Sunday with Blake & Traci, and John G. and I smashed some nature documentaries. Ashley and the girls joined me and the guys at Ridgecrest to celebrate the Fourth of July with burgers and brats, corn hole, and child-proof fireworks. Ashley and I discovered Tandoor India, an Indian buffet ten minutes from Kennesaw and on-par with Dusmesh. Jobst and I met up in Blue Ash to catch up over Mediterranean food, and Ashley discovered creamed bourbon root beer. Amos and I played a ton of Die Rise: Zombies and saw the sequel to Independence Day (I give it a B-). Rachel made Zoey a monkey cake for her fourth birthday, I became momentarily obsessed with the Cincinnati House of Cigar, I got a promotion to Residential Coordinator and even "starred" in a nation-wide training video for DODD. The G.O.P convention took place, and the Republicans nominated Donald Trump. On an equally sad note, Shelby (my cousin-in-law) was diagnosed with leukemia.
August. Zoey and I discovered the "Castle Park" just down the street, and it was all she could talk about this month. Ashley and I went on a long drive through northern Kentucky and passed through Rabbit Hash (the general store was closed, so we couldn't stop for Jones sodas). I made it down to Winton Ridge to hang out with Amos a few times, but those times are getting rarer and rarer as I take one more "adult" responsibilities with the girls (i.e. watching them when Ashley works). Zoey made a beautiful fool of herself on stage at Miamitown Church of Christ, Chloe started the 4th Grade, and Ashley quit Speedway (and her cleaning job!) for a full-time position in the HR Department of LEI Windows. Dylan came into town from Washington, D.C., and I met up with him and Tyler at the Fox & Hound for drinks and nachos. At the end of the month, Dad and I saw "Get the Led Out" in Kettering (we biked there this time),
September. A handful of people quit at Ridgecrest, so most of the month I worked 80+ hours a week. On one of my rare days off I spent some good quality time with Chloe: we grabbed breakfast at Anchor Grill, hung out for a little while at the Hobbit Hole, checked out the Hobby Shoppe in Hyde Park, and she bought a few things from Dollar Tree (one of her favorite stores since it's within her price range). I bought a plastic bird skeleton to prank Ashley, but Zoey saw it first and claimed it as her own. One Sunday Ashley, the girls, and I joined Keith & Rachel for Alice's birthday party (the daughter of David, one of Rachel's good friends). We grilled out, drank copious amounts of beer, and swam for hours. Adaline perfected the Art of Escape and jumped the fence multiple times, one time being gone all night before returning to the back door waiting to be let inside. The month ended with the Annual Ridgecrest Picnic. Ashley and I decided not only to get married but to get married soon, and we began hammering out all the details for November 4th.
October. Ashley and I determined that I may be autistic, and my burgeoning obsession with Medieval 2: Total War may prove her point. Clown sightings (and muggings) swept the news along with Donald Trump's rise in popularity against Hillary Clinton. Ashley and I told Chloe about our plans to get married, and she had a meltdown but called to tell me that she wanted me to be her dad. This month I got A LOT of alone time with the girls, which I'm not mad about! Ashley and I started packing up and moving things out of the Hobbit Hole, and Season Seven of The Walking Dead kicked off with Glenn and Abraham's brutal deaths. I started making my "Rainy Portlands" (a variation on the colonial flip) and drank copious amounts of rum.
November. This month's highlight is a no-brainer: Ashley and I got married in Mom and Dad's backyard and started our life together with a two-night honeymoon at a restored 19th century log cabin in Burlington, Kentucky. The next week turned sour, however, with Donald Trump's victory against Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential Election. I'm the one person in Ashley's family who doesn't think Trump is God's gift to America; if he's anything, he's God's judgment. Warmer temperatures enabled Zoey and I to go exploring the creek at Keehner Park (she wanted to collect fossils), and I beat all the expansions for Medieval 2: Total War. I moved into Kennesaw, though we still have a lot of work to do on the Hobbit Hole. Ashley and I celebrated Thanksgiving with both sides of the family, and Adaline went into heat for the first time: she was cranky, irritable, and downright bitchy.
December. This month was spent running around like chickens with our heads cut off getting ready for Christmas. Ashley and I spent a total of about $750 on gifts; next year we're going to tone it down. Gatlinburg burned in a forest fire, Chloe celebrated her tenth birthday (I got her the Harry Potter series), and the first half of The Walking Dead: Season Seven wrapped up. We celebrated Christmas in Lexington, Centerville, and at Kennesaw, and we were glad when it was all over. We kicked off 2017 bowling with Ben & Jason at Crossgate Lanes,
