senior year (I)

Monday. Last night Zach, Ams, Corey and I visited Kristen at her job in Centerville: Pet Supplies Plus. My passion for her is going the way of the grave, and I hope it doesn't go all zombie and resurrect. I worked 3-7:00, and then I picked up Ams and Ashlie from Ashlie's house, and Corey, too, and we went over to the Howard's for an evening partying by the pool. I lost my purity ring in the grass (never did recover it). Dylan and Corey spent the night. So did Ashlie. I told scary demon and hell stories. 

Tuesday. I had a really light supper after D-Group, then went on a run and did some exercises. I walked to Dairy Queen with Chris & Lee and Pat D. Mom & Dad came by when we were there, gave us a lift to the Williams' in the back of Dad's truck. We played a 007 tournament. I fell asleep early, and Chris and Pat D. kept messing with me. They poured tobasco sauce all over my lips and arm and it burned. Tomorrow's the last day of summer. Pat D. says summer was worthless. I'll try and counter with ten good things that happened during the Summer of 2004. 

The Last Day of Summer '04. Chris was supposed to wake me up for my orthodontics appointment but never did. His alarm went off, but instead of waking me up, he just turned it off and fell back asleep. We all went for coffee at DLM. I had one of their Tuscan flat-bread sandwiches. I worked 4-8:00 with Devin and Stephanie. Time crawled by, everyone was miserable. I went to the Williams' afterwards, and we celebrated the last day of summer by chugging Diet Rite and watching Seinfeld reruns. Here's my one apprehension: every year I'm stuck without friends at lunch. Will it change this year? I have prayed immensely and continue to pray on this. Things should be okay. Now, my Top 10 list for Summer 2004:

1. I grew much closer to God!

2. I lost 40+ pounds!

3. I wrote 25 sermons.

4. I rekindled my friendship with Dylan and Tyler.

5. C.I.Y., Crank's Creek, Lakeside, and Kentucky visits!

6. The Garage 1919, an upcoming venue through 412, was approved!

7. I was accepted into Cedarville University!

8. I started a zombie book! It's called 12 Hours.

9. I participated in a baptism.

10. And I almost got kidnapped! Ha, fun story.

Senior Year: Day One. I woke up at 5:15 and enjoyed a 250 calorie breakfast of eggs and toast. I picked up Ashlie, drove to school, parked in spot 0026. Kristen got it for me during Lakeside. First period is Film & Literature with McBride--no, Purnhagen, she's married now--and I don't have any friends in there or in my CP Senior Science. I sat with Zach and Kristen D. during Study Hall. Angie and Kristen are in my psychology class, and Ashley's in Algebra II, and Tony, Andrew R., and Kristen are in Government. My last class is English IV. The first day of school went well, and then a bunch of people came over for U-Turn. We went to North Park, and we walked the 1/4 mile loop. The goal was to spend that time praying, but it didn't work out: most people just dicked around. Jeff asked me to lead the 40 Days of Community, and I agreed. It's a new thing Southwest's doing, and 412's onboard. 

Friday. Ams wrote in an email that if she had one day left to spend with one person, she'd choose me, "cuz hes like my best friend, and hes always there for me, and gves great advice!! o and hes so funny!" Amanda means so much to me. Really, I am greatly blessed to have her as my sister! Ams, you always wonder if I write about you. Don't worry. Usually I write about my problems--and you're not a problem! Today at school, Angie, Dylan, Tyler, Ashley, Britney and I prayed before lunch. It was really cool. I worked 3-9:00. Really been getting into medieval war stuff lately. It's the history nerd in me.

Saturday. All I ate today was China Cottage. I almost went bowling with Bryon & Erica, but Dad & I went to see the new movie King Arthur instead. 

Sunday. I led Sunday School. The subject: Angels & Demons. It went over well, really fascinating stuff. Everyone loved it. Angie, Megan, and Shelby were the most talkative. Angie wrote me a letter inspiring and encouraging me in my work for God. I want to write a devotional, something new and refreshing and revolutionizing! Ash, Ams, Mom, Dad, Jeff, Mindy, Blue (Jeff's bud from CIY) and his wife at at Subway. At Chris & Lee's we had a Golden-eye tournament followed by Super Size Sunday: we had ice cream, played in the playland, fought in the mat room, and then we went back to their place for even more Goldeneye.

Have we forgotten?

Ever been tempted to the point of dizziness, seeing spots, collapse? Ever heard voices in your head, whispering, "No one loves you..." Ever found it distracting or difficult to worship, pray, read the Scriptures? Ever feel frightened for no reason, or scared and nervous while witnessing? Ever wonder if there's more to the picture when depression hits? Ever feel all alone, forsaken, rejected, down with a voice coughing, "You have no friends." Ever feel like your life is falling apart and your faith is paper-thin? Ever feel so caught up in sin that you cannot escape? Ever had feelings that don't belong to you?

Have we forgotten the name of Satan?

Conviction

Today a bunch of friends and I decided to walk a 1/4 mile and just pray to God. I was expecting a passionate, warming spiritual experience. What I found was that a lot of us abandoned the prayer for goofing off, talking. "A whole quarter mile talking to God, O what fun," some of us grumbled. As I walked, praying, God spoke to my heart.

We went for a quarter mile walk (turned out to be a mile, but that's beside the point). What is wrong with us? Why can't we find time to pray to God - to talk to God - for a mile? God made MILLIONS and MILLIONS of miles on His green earth, and we can't take the time to walk one of them, and just thank Him for what He has done for us, given to us; we can't walk a mile talking to God. If we really knew who God was, we'd be saying, "Only a mile! Let's walk the earth seventy-seven times around and sing praises to our King!" Even the angels in heaven praise and worship God 24/7, forever and ever, and never tire, never grow bored, because they know who God is, they know how God is, they really understand the power of the God they worship.

A lot of this probably stems from the way we view prayer; we say, "Oh, we're talking to God," when we ought to be saying, "God! Oh my gosh! I'm talking to the Creator of the Cosmos, the Righteous Judge, the Sovereign and Strong, the God of Love, the God of Wrath! I am speaking to the One who puts breath in my lungs and allows me to wake up each morning! I am talking to the One who will bring up and bring down nations, who will exact revenge on the ungodly! I am speaking to the One who existed, exists, and forever exists! Me, a measly, worthless human am speaking to the Great God of the Universe! Because He wants me to and I want to!"

We need to take God seriously. Distant prayers, failed bouts against sin, empty and hollow spirituality all stem, I believe, from us not taking God seriously. When we don't thank God for what He has given us, when we decide not to open our Bibles, when we don't tell our friends about the awesome God we serve, all this is derived - I believe - from our not really taking God seriously. We go to church, we say, "When is this over?" We don't take God seriously. We sing praises to God's name, we just want it to end so we can sit down, our legs hurt - we don't take God seriously. We think of God, and when we hear fear of God, we laugh. We don't take God seriously. If we really understood the Holiness, the Glory, the Might, the Love, the Wrath, the Sufficiency, Soveriegnity of God, we would fall down in sheer terror. Job caught a mere glance of God and cursed himself. Habakkuk, on seeing God's power, went silent before Him. Isaiah, in seeing the King Almighty, shouted, "Woe is me!" (Isaiah 6:5) We would, too, I believe, if we really took God seriously and understood how amazing He really is.

What would change if we really began to take God seriously, if we had "faith like a mustard seed"? How would God work through us? How would God put His hands on us like never before? How would we move through our world? If we really took God seriously, would we be able to perform miraculous healings, exorcise demons, perform miracles through the power of the Holy Spirit - the same Holy Spirit of the book of Acts?

I believe, if we really took God seriously, a lot of things would change.

We're Killing Ourselves

Culture has turned us - men - into cowards, stripping us of the warrior heart. We run from difficult, risky situations in life; I fear for our hearts. Whenever there is danger, risk to the heart - not the muscle in our chest but the muscle of our soul - we back down, go frigid, refuse to take chances, refuse to LIVE. This is what kills. This is self-emasculation. We should be ashamed. What should we do? Speak our minds, fight for right, condemn the wrong; be true to who we are, fear not earthly men and women. Don't kill your originality by slipping into cultural conformity. Don't shoot the real you. Speak up. Stand up. Never back down. Be unconformed. Be who God created you to be - our culture wants people who don't speak up, who ebb with the flow, who blend into the background and keep their mouths shut. Culture wants 'nice' people. But know what? The world doesn't need 'nice' people - it needs people who are alive.

Returned from Lakeside today. Fun time, hanging out with family and such. Have gotten into an in-depth study of Matthew - I think a lot of us have shirked faith, prayer, fasting. There is something to be found when Jesus says if we have faith like a mustard seed we can do a lot. What is faith? Really, what is it? Knowing something? Believing something? Or is it something so spiritual, so extreme, that it cannot be touched by human words? And what is real prayer? Babbling off sentences before going to bed, or eating a meal? Or so much more? How many of us really fast anymore - fast on food, desires, things we find hard to release? How many of us really live our faith day-by-day as an organic worship offering to God? As we read the Scriptures, we mustn't just hear, but also listen, ask the tough questions, and discover, What needs to change about me?

the 33rd week

Monday. Lakeside has dozens of little shops, most of them antique stores. At the bookstore I bought a small leather NRSV bible. I also bought lots of incense sticks and incense cones. I lit the incense and went out on the deck and studied the Sermon on the Mount, prayed and worshiped. It was wonderful. Around 9:00 I went into town for some ice cream, and I hung out with Matthew & Megan and we swung on the swings in the park and monkeyed around the playground, and we went to the rocky shoreline and watched the waves, could see the lighthouses in the deepening dark, Put'n Bay and Kelly's Island. It seems everyone here is constantly wanting to do something. I just want to relax! I'm always doing something it seems, I just want to spend this week relaxing away from all my duties, responsibilities, and friends back home. Tomorrow is Cedar Point: I don't really want to go, but oh well. I went on a late-night walk listening to Johnny Cash's When the Man Comes Around, one of my inspirations for 12 Hours, and I kept seeing how I could carry the story forward, changing the original short story ending and moving forward with it. Hmmm...

Tuesday. Today we did Cedar Point, and I'm glad it's over: my feet are swollen and my head's pounding. I loathe amusement parks. I'm tired of political answers, of political answers, tired of the fake political life that I see so many people living. I'm tired of saying 'yes' all the time and not speaking up, I'm tired of always taking the back-seat. This pen is running out, and that's a good thing. All this thinking is EATING MY BRAINS OUT (to quote Pat D.).

Wednesday. A huge storm came through last night. We've only got like a week until school starts, and I dreamt I went back to school and everyone made fun of me. I also dreamed Ams & I were in my short story 12 Hours, and everyone at 412 'turned', and we had to escape, were running through the YMCA parking lot, high-tailing it for our lives. I also dreamt I found a girl. At one time I had Amanda C., but she moved away. Then there was Rikki, and she moved away. Then Kristen, but she was too shallow. Rikki and I would go into the crawlspace, lie next to each other; I was pressed against her warm, smooth skin, and when she'd talk, it sounded like heaven. In private Kristen & I would laugh, play around, hang out together, and we even kissed a few times. On New Year's a few years ago she was cuddled up in my sheets, wearing a pink & blue turtle-necked sweater, and she refused to date me because I was fat and had acne. I saw beautiful eyes at Crank's Creek, a girl named Libby, and being at Cedar Point yesterday, seeing all the beautiful girls, I was reminded yet again of how lonely I really am. I just want a simple relationship with a girl, a girl who likes me, a girl whom I like. I want to go to bookstores, to the Mall, out to eat, go to movies with her riding shotgun. I want to talk about life, laugh with her and cry for her and fight for her. I want to lean my head on a girl's shoulder, I want to feel the heat of her body against mine, I want to lie there and kiss. I want to ask a girl to marry me, and I want her to exclaim "YES!" And I want to hold her in my arms as we kiss under the white flowers and opal skies. As she sleeps on our honeymoon, I want to wrap my arms around her naked body and thank God for such a beautiful wife. Sometimes I think dreams are nothing else... Dad & I talked about Southwest over breakfast and coffee, about modernism, post-modernism, traditional churches. I love postmodern things, don't like modern churches, and enjoy traditional services. I'm a mixed bag, it seems. Some go to church all dressed up and in make-up to be their best for God. Want to show your best? Go to church barefoot, shirtless, in your most disgusting jeans, wearing no make-up. Just you, who you really are, and the Real God. We are all rotten, we are all sinners, and we're fellow journeymen with one another. 

Thursday. There are two types of men in this world: masturbators and liars. Today, like yesterday, was non-stop rain, Lake Erie cloaked in a low-hanging fog. I keep having dreams revolving around 12 Hours, and being so inspired, I bought 28 Days Later on DVD from a movie shop here in town. Megan read 12 Hours, really liked it, just like Matthew did. Once the rain eased up a bit, all of us went out to Go-Kart, and then we went out for ice cream and had dinner at the Lakeside sport's bar.

Friday. I've been missing everyone back home: Ashlie, Chris, Lee, Pat D. Dylan's been calling me non-stop, wants to hang out the moment I get back. I wouldn't mind. I went to the boardwalk alone, sat out on the ledge, my legs dangling, watching the rolling waves and receding storm-clouds. 

Saturday. We left Lakeside today, a long drive south, and when we got home I devoured some pasta and bread with alfredo sauce. I got a letter in the mail: my second & official acceptance into Cedarville University! This means, quite officially, that I've been accepted into the school and am slated to go there after graduation! 

Sunday. Jeff baptized Jimmy today. Jimmy asked me to read some scripture from 1 Peter before the baptism. Dad said, "You're becoming a leader, and not because of your decisions, but because of your actions." There was a party at the Howard's, and we tossed around the King ball. Lee got his driving license! Dylan & Ben wanted me to spend the night at the Yosick's; Tyler wanted to come over and spend the night at our place, as did Corey. I'm quite popular, it seems, but I'm a contemplative sort, like to play it solo from time-to-time, so I declined all offers and invites and spent the evening burning incense and candles and reading the Bible.

What's going on?

Haven't posted forever. I don't really have much to write. One of my friends - Lee Williams - just shaved his head bald; with the cheeky sideburns, it looks cool. My friend Pat Dewenter bought a snazzy four-track; he and his band Forsake Me Not are coming along nice, and I must compliment them on their upcoming EP (even if they did fire me as manager :-)). I can't see Chris Williams without his black hair. It's just him now. Hague and Ash are doing fantastic. Never been better. Hanging out a lot more with Dylan and Tyler Yosick. They are friends from sixth-grade that I've reconnected with. Both are really strong and hungry for God. It's wonderful. My a-m-a-z-i-n-g sister is reading Ecclesiastes; wow, what a book. Check it out if you want. Puts things in perspective. My parents are so loving it is unbelievable. I'm so lucky that they care so much about me, and are so interested in my life. Who else is like them??? A lot of great older men in my life have really been an encouragement and help to me as I struggle through sins, weight-loss, and day-to-day life. Doug, Mike, Jeff - thanks. I want to personally thank Doug online - I've probably annoyed him with my thank you's on IM by now - for really being there for me and taking the time to advise me, push me along, and confront me about stuff; he will never understand (at least till he gets to Heaven, anyway) how much he has helped me in my spiritual faith. I believe he - among the others - is one of the greatest spiritual men God has put in my life. So thank you. And all my cousins out there. I love you guys. And my relatives, can't wait for Lakeside, and Jesse and Jared, when you coming down, fools??? Skimping out again :-). Zach, man, showstopper, z-train, you're amazing. Reds game looks great for Thursday, eh? All you guys who come to the Thursday small group, thanks for bearing through me, I know it's gotta be tough :-). Sometimes I think I'm the one who gets the lessons through the small group (even though I write them!). You guys have taught me so much. I probably sound like a fool, but really, this small group has pushed me far in my spiritual walk, not only through leadership and accountability, not only through getting to know all of you, and seeing how passionate for God you are, but also through the community bonds we've been building. Oh, NO SMALL GROUP NEXT WEEK! We'll be near Cleveland, on Lake Erie. I'll write about that in a moment. Be sure you're there for the small group the week of school. we are going through the school year, and we've got something good planned. We'll be meeting at North Park, at the picnic area, if I don't get a hold of you before then.

Lakeside. Nice. Cool air, shuffelboard, running and biking, fishing, swimming off the rocks. Oh, and nice food. Complete freedom. I am excited about hanging out with my family (not just Mom, Dad, Ams, but also all the others from my Dad's side as well). I am also looking at it as an off-the-wall sabatical. I plan on reading Christian books, digging into the Bible, doing lots of soul-searching and praying and listening to God. It will be exciting. Refreshing.

Well. I'm running Ams to McDonald's (why?). She sits here and says, "Food." "Anything else you want to say Ams?" She says, "Hmmm... hmmm... I'm thinking... Umm... Anthony stop! Don't write that in! You're an idiot. No! Don't write that! Stop!" Haha. We are laughing. Well I have to go. Good-bye. Love ya all.

the 32nd week

the boardwalk at Lakeside, Ohio on Lake Erie

Monday. Dylan & I ran some errands to pick up some eye medicine for him: he's got pink eye, or something like it. Chris & Pat D. have been driving me insane: ever since they came back from Maryland, they're acting too cool for me, avoiding me, even at church. I really think they may be jealous of my friendship with Dylan, may feel they're getting replaced. They're not being replaced, it's not like there's a cap-off to how many friends you can have, and at least Dylan is respectful towards me, my property, and my family. Dylan and I went back to my place and watched The Hunted, Collateral Damage, and The Recruit. I spent the night over at his place with him and his brother Tyler. Hank told me that he, Pat D., Chris, Lee, & Ashlie all think I've changed, become stuck-up, pompous, that I'm a superficial person who's no fun. They say I'm no longer unique, no longer different & unusual, no longer special--just average. "And it all started with your weight loss," Hank said.

Tuesday. If I'm changing, then I'm changing. Everyone changes. Maybe we're splitting, heading in different directions. This is who I am. And if they don't like it, too bad. At D-Group Chris & Pat D. would barely talk to me, kept giving me the cold shoulder. Lee was avoiding me, too, sticking with Zach. I used to be on the inside, now I'm on the outside. Allegiances change so fast. Everyone left for D-Group and I couldn't stand being alone, so I went to Chris & Lee's where Lee had just shaved his head, and we all sat upstairs and talked about these accusations. They told me that the changes included being more serious, more calm, more relaxed (as if that were a bad thing), that I thrive on popularity, am a people-pleaser, and worry too much about the opinions of others. Chris & Pat D. confessed that they are a bit jealous of Dylan & Tyler, that they're afraid of Mom (since she doesn't stand for their disrespect but genuinely likes them), and that my house is boring. Of course it is. Everyone's is when you have nothing to do. 

Wednesday. Lee said everyone's changed. It's funny how we think we're so smart, we've got everything figured out, but then the next day we look back and say, "Man, I was stupid!" Common sense is a scary judge of talent. Corey, Lee and I went to Cafe A-Go-Go for coffee, and then Corey came over and we made blueberry muffins topped with whipped cream and cinnamon for breakfast. My family had dinner over at the Garret's, and I hung with Matt in the backyard and then after dinner went over to Chris & Lee's. Lee looks pretty awesome bald. Forsake Me Not is trying to reel him into playing bass for them. Energizing coffee in the morning, relaxing tea at night. Ah...

Thursday. Lee, Zach and I went to a Red's Game down in Cincinnati with people from church. Not many people came for our 'untethered' U-turn. I drove Zach, Ashlie, and Ams to Englewood, following Debbie with Chris, Lee, and Pat D. It was cold and cloudy, I was afraid it'd rain. We put out lawn chairs and blankets, and Dewenter brought a radio to listen to the movie displayed over the giant open-air canvas. Chris sat next to me, laughed at the funny parts, made the little jokes. Pat D. & Lee were whispering sweet nothings in my ear and pouring gravel on my head. I thought The Village was good, Lee loved it, though lots of people didn't like it. Pat D., Chris & Lee stayed for another movie, The Bourne Supremacy, but I drove home around midnight with Zach & Ashlie, who spent the night. I've been accepted into Cedarville, but I still have other schools I'm interested in, too, like CBC or KCC or even Lee University.

Friday. Jeff & I talked about me starting to teach Sunday School at the start of the school-year. That'd be pretty awesome. At 9:00 I met up with Lee & Corey at Jumpstart Java for coffee, and then Corey & I went to DLM and I got Asiago cheese bread and some more coffee. I took Zach & Ashlie home, and then I went to Mueller's Music with Lee & Pat D., then to Funky People at the Towne Mall, where I got some incense. Lee got me a free Scarface poster. Pat D. came over and we walked through North Park over to Chris & Lee's. Pat D. threw a stick at me and it gouged the skin underneath my eye. We passed by the library on our way in, and I got a Dilbert comics book and a comic book entitled Urban Legends. We played 007 at the Williams', and then Lee came home and we relaxed on the back porch taking pictures of each other in dresses and spandex. The neighbor saw Pat D. standing there in a dress holding a rose and gave him an incredulous, humiliating look. Chris & Lee's grandpa came over and fixed the lawn-mower. Mom picked me up, and I grabbed the Jeep back home and drove it back to Chris & Lee's to spend the night. I got Burger King, gave it to Chris & Pat D. since I was concerned about my diet, and instead I ate a pop-tart. We watched Red Dawn and Pat D. fell asleep on the couch and Chris fell asleep while on the internet. 

Saturday. Chris, Lee, Pat D. and I got caramel macchiatos from DLM and paired them with some asiago cheesebread sticks. They taste like goldfish crackers. I dropped them off at the Williams', and Chris & Lee said they hope I die on my way to Lakeside, and Pat D. said, "I hope you make it." My family & I ate at Pizza Hut, and we heard my cousin Jared got jumped by three guys and got beat up pretty bad. He'll be okay, though. We drove north to Lake Erie, a small and quaint town called Lakeside. It's a sort of resort, with lots of little shops and parks, a boardwalk stretching out over the lake, rocky shorelines where we sometimes go swimming, and everything's contained inside a towering wall with the only entrances and exits being guarded. It was an old Methodist town. We're in a cottage with Megan & Matthew in the cottage next to us, Grandpa & Grandma B. are at the hotel by the boardwalk, and the Witt's are in their aunt's home just down the road from us. We're right next to the main park with shuffleboard and gazebos, and we're only a few houses from the shoreline, with Canada barely visible on the horizon across the Lake. Matthew, Megan, Ams and I spent the evening walking around the town, and I bought a cross wrist bracelet and a cool marble ring from some gift shop. We had homemade tacos for dinner, and Mom & I had diahrrea for the rest of the night. Once I was somewhat able to walk, I joined Matthew & Megan for a stroll up the boardwalk, lots of hot girls running around. The cramps started again and I bolted back to our cottage to poop; Megan tried to keep up, couldn't, later recounted, "He was just so fast!" I was more desperate than anything.

Sunday. God has blessed me with a gift: a gift to teach, to instruct, to revitalize and restore passionate flame. I'm not boasting: this gift isn't mine, based on my own merits, but from God himself, given to me so that I can use it for him. Sometimes I get prideful about how well I teach, about how I've been gifted, but this pride must be washed away, because it fosters a drunken spirituality quite out-of-touch with reality. I hope to look back on these days, many many years from now, and say, "This is where it began. This is where my passion for God blew up, where my desire to see his kingdom spread truly ignited." U-Turn, Sunday School, Student Revolution... I'm involved in all of these, doing what I can to see God's kingdom spread. Today I led worship on the rocks against Lake Erie. There were heavy winds and storms all day, so the waves were large, crashing against the rocks, and I spoke from the psalms: Your righteousness, O Lord, is like the ocean's tide... Mom says I'll be a good pastor one day, that she'll go to my church. Sometimes I wonder why Megan & Matthew always invite me to go to church with them, to do bible studies with them; is it because they see my passion for God, or is it because I'm unorthodox in many ways (compared to them)? Are they thankful for my spirituality or frightened by it?

Matthew 25:1-13

"What does it mean? I have my own ideas. Do you? Leave a comment if you've got any put-in."

Also, my new website - basically a showcase for my messages and major spiritual writings - is up and running. Check it out at http://pureandsimplefaith.blogspot.com. The sub-page with my collected writings is on Flame, also titled, your eyes search for me, inspired by a ZAO song. Any questions, comments, concerns on the website, please e-mail me (or post a comment) at ajbarnhart@yahoo.com.

Any ideas of the parable?

the 31st week

a bad-ass theater in my hometown!

Monday. For some, celibacy is a choice. For others, it's a fate. I believe I fall in the latter column. I thought a lot about Kristen today, but I know that one day I'll be over her, that I'll forget her, just as I forgot Amanda C., and Rikki, and Ashley from Anna. Ams went to Kentucky with Aunt Teri & Uncle Bill, and Mom & I ate at China Garden. She's really concerned about how Chris & Pat D. have been. "What kind of friends are they?" she asked, and I said, "The question, I think, is what kind of friend am I?" She dropped me off at Grandma Barnhart's in New Carlisle. Ams is already teary-eyed about me going off to college at Cedarville. Grandpa Barnhart & I hiked around Charleston Falls, and then Grandma joined us for some down-home cooking at a small-town diner. This is a place of thick woods, country roads, vast farms. Matthew stopped by back at their house; he and his family live next door with their two dogs Pepper & Midnight, and they have a pond full of frogs, lilly-pads and snapping turtles. Oh! I saw a giant snapping turtle in Cedar Pond at the falls, along with two deer. Matthew headed home and I watched some TV with Grandma before falling asleep to the sounds of crickets outside.

Tuesday. I dreamt I was locked inside the dry cleaner's beside DLM during a zombie outbreak, just like it would've been like in my short story 12 Hours. Grandpa & I went to pick up Addison after Grandma made me a healthy breakfast of french toast and bacon. We went back to their place, and Matthew and Grandma joined us for lunch at a place called "Caffe Caffe". Grandma fixed an awesome, healthy dinner, and we finished off the night playing board-games. Simplicity & Relaxation: key things to be remembered.

Wednesday. Today we went to COSI in Columbus. It was pretty awesome. Matthew left early, had to go to Wednesday night service. The rest of us ate dinner at Bob Evans, I got peach cobble a la mode. Dad picked me up from the Best Buy in Fairfield around 10:00. I had to poop really bad, we had to stop at an Olive Garden along the way or it was going to be all up in his car. 

Thursday. Dylan & I ran to the Montgomery Library, then I got my glasses tuned-up at the Mall, and then we went to Applebee's for lunch. U-Turn was really good: Shelby, Jackie, Ams, Zach, Al, Lyndsey, and Dylan & Tyler all showed up. It was a really good U-Turn, a good fostering of community. When Tyler left I rode on the hood of his car all the way down to the stop-sign, it felt like a roller coaster! The rest of us went to the Danbarry Dollar Saver theater and saw Dodgeball, and Dylan & Zach spent the night.

Friday. Dylan & I have become really close friends, just like we used to be in junior high. It's so amazing how God has brought us back together, he really is like a brother to me. Dad bought me a purity ring to remind me of my call to purity. I worked 3-8:00, was invited to see The Bourne Supremacy, declined: way too tired. I cleaned the kitchen with Dad & Ams, who returned from Kentucky yesterday (Mom's still down there). After the sun set I sat out on the back deck, the stars so bright and deep, and read 2 Thessalonians. I love these quiet, peaceful nights when it's just me and God his Word. 

Saturday. Today felt like fall, the weather nice and cool. Dylan has been sending my phone ringing off the hook, he's a really cool guy. This afternoon the Barnhart family went to the LaComedia Dinner Theater. It was a good show, and I managed not to stuff myself at the sweet potato casserole buffet. After the show there was a little girl crying alone in the parking lot, and it broke my heart. I have been praying for the mind of Christ, for the fruit of the Spirit. 

Sunday. I dreamt Dad fell off a ladder in a tunnel and was killed, woke up in a panic. I hate dreams like that. You may have noticed I didn't see Chris, Pat D., Hank, or Lee all week: they were in Maryland, playing worship music with Jeff for some camp out there. But they got back today. Chris & Pat D. were being weird at church, nothing new. Lee, Ash, Ams & I went to the Nix's house for pizza. Ricky & I went to Borders; he's gone from atheism to believing in a god, and now he's open to some words on Jesus. I took him home and then Ashlie came over, and her Mom & Dad followed and we all ate supper together. We watched Along Came A Spider, the sequel to SE7EN.