the 32nd week

the boardwalk at Lakeside, Ohio on Lake Erie

Monday. Dylan & I ran some errands to pick up some eye medicine for him: he's got pink eye, or something like it. Chris & Pat D. have been driving me insane: ever since they came back from Maryland, they're acting too cool for me, avoiding me, even at church. I really think they may be jealous of my friendship with Dylan, may feel they're getting replaced. They're not being replaced, it's not like there's a cap-off to how many friends you can have, and at least Dylan is respectful towards me, my property, and my family. Dylan and I went back to my place and watched The Hunted, Collateral Damage, and The Recruit. I spent the night over at his place with him and his brother Tyler. Hank told me that he, Pat D., Chris, Lee, & Ashlie all think I've changed, become stuck-up, pompous, that I'm a superficial person who's no fun. They say I'm no longer unique, no longer different & unusual, no longer special--just average. "And it all started with your weight loss," Hank said.

Tuesday. If I'm changing, then I'm changing. Everyone changes. Maybe we're splitting, heading in different directions. This is who I am. And if they don't like it, too bad. At D-Group Chris & Pat D. would barely talk to me, kept giving me the cold shoulder. Lee was avoiding me, too, sticking with Zach. I used to be on the inside, now I'm on the outside. Allegiances change so fast. Everyone left for D-Group and I couldn't stand being alone, so I went to Chris & Lee's where Lee had just shaved his head, and we all sat upstairs and talked about these accusations. They told me that the changes included being more serious, more calm, more relaxed (as if that were a bad thing), that I thrive on popularity, am a people-pleaser, and worry too much about the opinions of others. Chris & Pat D. confessed that they are a bit jealous of Dylan & Tyler, that they're afraid of Mom (since she doesn't stand for their disrespect but genuinely likes them), and that my house is boring. Of course it is. Everyone's is when you have nothing to do. 

Wednesday. Lee said everyone's changed. It's funny how we think we're so smart, we've got everything figured out, but then the next day we look back and say, "Man, I was stupid!" Common sense is a scary judge of talent. Corey, Lee and I went to Cafe A-Go-Go for coffee, and then Corey came over and we made blueberry muffins topped with whipped cream and cinnamon for breakfast. My family had dinner over at the Garret's, and I hung with Matt in the backyard and then after dinner went over to Chris & Lee's. Lee looks pretty awesome bald. Forsake Me Not is trying to reel him into playing bass for them. Energizing coffee in the morning, relaxing tea at night. Ah...

Thursday. Lee, Zach and I went to a Red's Game down in Cincinnati with people from church. Not many people came for our 'untethered' U-turn. I drove Zach, Ashlie, and Ams to Englewood, following Debbie with Chris, Lee, and Pat D. It was cold and cloudy, I was afraid it'd rain. We put out lawn chairs and blankets, and Dewenter brought a radio to listen to the movie displayed over the giant open-air canvas. Chris sat next to me, laughed at the funny parts, made the little jokes. Pat D. & Lee were whispering sweet nothings in my ear and pouring gravel on my head. I thought The Village was good, Lee loved it, though lots of people didn't like it. Pat D., Chris & Lee stayed for another movie, The Bourne Supremacy, but I drove home around midnight with Zach & Ashlie, who spent the night. I've been accepted into Cedarville, but I still have other schools I'm interested in, too, like CBC or KCC or even Lee University.

Friday. Jeff & I talked about me starting to teach Sunday School at the start of the school-year. That'd be pretty awesome. At 9:00 I met up with Lee & Corey at Jumpstart Java for coffee, and then Corey & I went to DLM and I got Asiago cheese bread and some more coffee. I took Zach & Ashlie home, and then I went to Mueller's Music with Lee & Pat D., then to Funky People at the Towne Mall, where I got some incense. Lee got me a free Scarface poster. Pat D. came over and we walked through North Park over to Chris & Lee's. Pat D. threw a stick at me and it gouged the skin underneath my eye. We passed by the library on our way in, and I got a Dilbert comics book and a comic book entitled Urban Legends. We played 007 at the Williams', and then Lee came home and we relaxed on the back porch taking pictures of each other in dresses and spandex. The neighbor saw Pat D. standing there in a dress holding a rose and gave him an incredulous, humiliating look. Chris & Lee's grandpa came over and fixed the lawn-mower. Mom picked me up, and I grabbed the Jeep back home and drove it back to Chris & Lee's to spend the night. I got Burger King, gave it to Chris & Pat D. since I was concerned about my diet, and instead I ate a pop-tart. We watched Red Dawn and Pat D. fell asleep on the couch and Chris fell asleep while on the internet. 

Saturday. Chris, Lee, Pat D. and I got caramel macchiatos from DLM and paired them with some asiago cheesebread sticks. They taste like goldfish crackers. I dropped them off at the Williams', and Chris & Lee said they hope I die on my way to Lakeside, and Pat D. said, "I hope you make it." My family & I ate at Pizza Hut, and we heard my cousin Jared got jumped by three guys and got beat up pretty bad. He'll be okay, though. We drove north to Lake Erie, a small and quaint town called Lakeside. It's a sort of resort, with lots of little shops and parks, a boardwalk stretching out over the lake, rocky shorelines where we sometimes go swimming, and everything's contained inside a towering wall with the only entrances and exits being guarded. It was an old Methodist town. We're in a cottage with Megan & Matthew in the cottage next to us, Grandpa & Grandma B. are at the hotel by the boardwalk, and the Witt's are in their aunt's home just down the road from us. We're right next to the main park with shuffleboard and gazebos, and we're only a few houses from the shoreline, with Canada barely visible on the horizon across the Lake. Matthew, Megan, Ams and I spent the evening walking around the town, and I bought a cross wrist bracelet and a cool marble ring from some gift shop. We had homemade tacos for dinner, and Mom & I had diahrrea for the rest of the night. Once I was somewhat able to walk, I joined Matthew & Megan for a stroll up the boardwalk, lots of hot girls running around. The cramps started again and I bolted back to our cottage to poop; Megan tried to keep up, couldn't, later recounted, "He was just so fast!" I was more desperate than anything.

Sunday. God has blessed me with a gift: a gift to teach, to instruct, to revitalize and restore passionate flame. I'm not boasting: this gift isn't mine, based on my own merits, but from God himself, given to me so that I can use it for him. Sometimes I get prideful about how well I teach, about how I've been gifted, but this pride must be washed away, because it fosters a drunken spirituality quite out-of-touch with reality. I hope to look back on these days, many many years from now, and say, "This is where it began. This is where my passion for God blew up, where my desire to see his kingdom spread truly ignited." U-Turn, Sunday School, Student Revolution... I'm involved in all of these, doing what I can to see God's kingdom spread. Today I led worship on the rocks against Lake Erie. There were heavy winds and storms all day, so the waves were large, crashing against the rocks, and I spoke from the psalms: Your righteousness, O Lord, is like the ocean's tide... Mom says I'll be a good pastor one day, that she'll go to my church. Sometimes I wonder why Megan & Matthew always invite me to go to church with them, to do bible studies with them; is it because they see my passion for God, or is it because I'm unorthodox in many ways (compared to them)? Are they thankful for my spirituality or frightened by it?