the 64th week

Seriously. It's amazing.

Monday. I opened with Amos and closed with Jake, a long and grueling day. It's felt like autumn the past couple days, crisp & chilly, and I mustn't lie: it may be about time to break out that kick-ass autumn wardrobe. I went to The Anchor after work, then spent the evening hanging out with Amos, Andy, Blake & Brandy. We smoked hookah and watched Mel Gibson's "Signs". I hadn't seen that movie in ages, it holds a special place in my heart: really, it's what kick-started my high school social life. Rob always joked that I'm like the little girl on signs, leaving a variety of barely-touched glasses of water around the house. Favorite quote from the movie: "You're too old for this," said to a six-year-old girl who does the same thing I do on a regular basis.

NEVER FORGET! Jake & I opened, and I worked on laundry (always a multiple-day project because of my forgetfulness) before going to The Anchor for a bit. Andy, Mo & I grabbed Chipotle for dinner and enjoyed a cool, quiet evening watching the latest season of "Parks & Recreation" on Netflix.

Wednesday. I had the day off for an appointment that got cancelled last-minute. I had breakfast burritos upon waking, and I grabbed Q'doba for lunch, visiting Andy on the line. I took a nap, went to The Anchor, and then I went over to the Loth House to round out the evening playing MW3 and watching "Deadly Women" with Amos & Brandy. Back home Andy & I got McDonald's for dinner and watched "Parks & Rec." Before bed I talked to Mandy K. for a bit. I talked to her 'bout some things I've been wrestling with, the weight of my past sins wrapping a psychological noose around my neck, how I'm striving to see myself as God sees me, trying to appropriate God's grace in my life. She pointed out that God's grace isn't cheap, but it's effective; and to deny grace is to say, in a sense, that the cross just didn't cut it. She's right: when we can finally accept grace, there's freedom, freedom from who we were and what we've done, freedom to be the kind of people God wants us to be. God is relentless in his love, and clinging to guilt and shame like some moth-eaten blanket is akin to keeping one foot in the sinking boat and refusing to fully climb aboard the one that's securely afloat. She pointed out that while I can accept that God can and does use others who've fallen far into sin, or wandered far off the path, or whatever phrases you want to us, the fact that I think I'm the one exception in all the world is rendered illogical albeit understandable (really, we all do it). If I'm so willing and eager to believe that God forgives and uses others, I shouldn't be so wrapped up in my own issues to think I'm somehow cut from a different mold.

Thursday. Back to the grind: I covered Ana's Food Prep shift with Tiffany & Sarah working the counter. After work I ran some errands and went to The Anchor, and I spent the early evening cleaning around the house and working on laundry (remember: it's a multi-day project), and Andy & I went to the Loth House to play video games with Amos and smoke out on the patio, and Brandon came by for a while and it was so good seeing him outside work. Everyone's been so busy lately, the "family" at T.M. hasn't had a lot of "alone time."

Friday. Ana found a crippled bird outside the store window, just picked it up and brought it right inside, desperate to help it. "Ana! You can't bring that in here! Make sure you wash your hands!" Silly Brazilians. I think she was upset I made her take it back. Bird was damned cute, though. After work I went to Dusmesh to grab lunch with Andy, Kyle S. and his wife, and some friends of theirs. They were 20 minutes late, and I tried to wait, but the buffet was right there, and the chef brought out fresh samosas and bhatura, and that demolished all willpower. So I ate alone and loved every minute of them, and when they arrived I just sipped my diet coke and caught up. Before going to The Anchor I went by Emily's place in Northside, hadn't seen her in at least a couple weeks. We sat on her front porch in the cool and overcast evening, playing guitar and teasing her cats. Isaac and Josh visited me back home after The Anchor, quite intoxicated after a bout of drinking at Neon's, and I went to Ams' new place just down Glenway. It's an upgrade, but the Claypole House isn't much to beat these days. We watched "Parks & Rec" and hit up Rock Bottom. Keith, the G.M., was there and hooked us up. We played video games till about 1:30 AM and then I drowsily headed home.

Saturday. I woke to a clear, beautiful, sunny morning. The chill cut through me, but I shed it like a winter coat at The Anchor with a steaming cup of coffee, N.T. Wright, and Damien Jurado on the jukebox. I went hiking at Mount Echo for a bit, there's some decent trails farther-out past the main ones, and once you go far enough you start getting into woods untouched by liquor bottles, soda cans, and used condoms. I went over to Ams' place afterwards, and we watched "Parks & Rec" and played some video games and went to Target, where I found some amazing college-ruled composition notebooks for only 22 cents! I passed time at The Anchor before enjoying dinner: a pumpkin spice frappuccino and a cream cheese pumpkin muffin from Starbucks and making a second run to Target to buy up the last of their 22 cent college ruled notebook stock. I have problems when it comes to composition, I think. I spent the rest of the evening at Ams' house playing through the campaigns of both Modern Warfare 2 and Call of Duty: World at War. I even wore a headset to make it that much cooler.

Sunday. This morning I met up with Jessie, who was in town, and we grabbed breakfast and coffee at The Anchor. It was so good catching up with her. I miss her, I really do. I didn't go to church this morning, ended up taking a cat-nap that lasted till about one in the afternoon. I still went to Dayton, albeit later than usual, and I spent most of the evening hanging out with Tyler at his place: we played MW3 and shot firecrackers and M80s off his second-story balcony. I didn't return to Cincinnati till late, and on the way I caught up with an old friend who's been having a hard time as of late. "I just want to be happy," she wept. HAPPINESS. What an elusive little whore.