[May Reading]

My "Fiction Only" Month of May went fairly well. I'd hoped to read more than four books, but since The Stand clocks in at 1150 pages, I think it should count for two (or maybe even three) books. 

AIRFRAME, by Michael Crichton. At a moment when the issue of safety and death in the skies is paramount in the public mind, a lethal midair disaster aboard a commercial twin-jet airliner flying from Hong Kong to Denver triggers a pressured and frantic investigation in which the greatest casualty may be the truth.

ON WRITING, by Stephen King. Part memoir, part master class by one of the bestselling authors of all time, this superb volume is a revealing and practical view of the writer's craft, comprising the basic tools of the trade every writer must have. King's advice is grounded in his vivid memories from childhood through his emergence as a writer, from his struggling early career to his widely reported, near-fatal accident in 1999--and how the inextricable link between writing and living spurred his recovery. 

THE STAND: COMPLETE & UNCUT, by Stephen King. A patient escapes from a biological testing facility, unknowingly carrying a deadly weapon: a mutated strain of super-flu that will wipe out 99 percent of the world's population within a few weeks. Those who remain are scared, bewildered, and in need of a leader. Two emerge--Mother Abagail, the benevolent 108-year-old woman who urges them to build a peaceful community in Boulder, Colorado; and Randall Flagg, the nefarious "Dark man," who delights in chaos and violence. As the dark man and the peaceful woman gather power, the survivors will have to choose between them--and ultimately decide the fate of all humanity.

THE SHINING, by Stephen King. Jack Torrance's new job at the Overlook Hotel is the perfect chance for a fresh start. As the off-season caretaker at the atmospheric old hotel, he'll have plenty of time to spend reconnecting with his family and working on his writing. But as the harsh winter weather sets in, the idyllic location feels even more remote... and more sinister. And the only one to notice the strange and terrible forces gathering around the Overlook is Danny Torrance, a uniquely gifted five-year-old.

The Way (IX)

You are upset. Look: happen what may in your interior life or in the world around you, never forget that the importance of events or of people is very relative. Take things calmly. Let time pass. And then, as you view persons and events dispassionately and from afar, you'll acquire the perspective that will enable you to see each thing in its proper place and in its true proportion. If you do this, you'll be more objective and you'll be spared many a cause of anxiety.

A bad night in a bad inn. That's how Saint Teresa of Jesus is said to have described this earthly life. It's a good comparison, isn't it?

Don't be troubled if, as you consider the marvels of the supernatural world, you hear that other voice--the intimate, insinuating voice of the "old man." It's "the body of death" that cries out for its lost privileges. God's grace is sufficient for you: be faithful and you will conquer.

Do you hear these words? "In another state in life, in another place, in another position or occupation, you would do much more good. Talent isn't needed for what you are doing." Well, listen to me: Wherever you have been placed, you please God... and what you've just been thinking is clearly a suggestion of the devil.

Another fall... and what a fall! Despair? No! Humble yourself and... have recourse to the merciful love of Jesus. A miserere--"have mercy on me"--and lift up your heart! And now, begin again.

How low you have fallen this time! Begin the foundations from down there. Be humble. Cor contritum et humiliatum, Deus, non despicies--"A contrite and humbled heart, O God, you will not despise."

Yours is a desire without desire, as long as you don't put firmly aside the occasion of falling. Don't fool yourself telling me you're weak. You're a coward, which is not the same thing.

"I don't know how to conquer myself!" you write me despondently. And I answer: But have you really tried to use the means?

It's hard! Yes, I know. But, forward! No one receives the reward--and what a reward!--except those who fight bravely.

This time the trial has been long. Perhaps--and without the perhaps--you haven't borne it well so far, for you were still seeking human consolations. But your Father God has torn them out by the roots so as to leave you no other refuge but him.

So you couldn't care less? Don't try to fool yourself. This very moment, if I were to ask you about persons and activities, in which for God's love you put your soul, I know that you would answer me eagerly, with the interest of one speaking of what is his own. It's not true that you don't care. It's just that you're not tireless and that you need more time for yourself: time that will also be for your work, since, after all, you are the instrument.

from blue ash

This past Monday evening I went exploring in the woods behind John and Brandy's farmhouse, keeping my eye out for poison ivy. Leaves of three, they'll tear into Ye! I followed the meandering creek past the half-buried World War One-era truck and the old rubber tires lying in the creek with soiled filled in their middle and weeds growing out. On down the creek I stumbled across a half-buried deer skull resplendent with antlers, and flanking the skull on the other side of the creek was a child's stuffed bear disgorged in the muddied soil, reminiscent of a fallen soldiers on Flander's fields. I climbed out of the ravine past the ruins of the dairy mill where John was grilling steaks, and I proudly lifted the skull--The lord has blessed this hunt!--and shouted, "I found a skull!" Beaming, I added, "It's a male!" He laughed, eyeing the antlers, and said, "It sure looks that way." Right now it's bleaching in the basement at Blue Ash, and I'll either keep it on my writing desk (you know, as inspiration) or try to mount it on the hood of my Oldsmobile. 

I sent the picture of it to Mandy.

"Wow! So fun! So... Are you determined to keep that forever?"

I suggested we put it on display in my future den.

"You do what you want, love, till we share one space. Then we'll reevaluate."

She added that a stuffed deer head looks better than just the bones.

"I can wrap it in fur pelts, and we can display it at the end of our bed like it's guarding us."

"And you can sleep in that bed allllll by yourself," she quipped.

Maybe I'll just let Ben keep it as a memento of me.

Sarah brought a friend to the Farm today, and she sat with Ben, Jason and I at the potluck. She asked how things were going with Mandy. "Are you planning on marrying this girl?" I said Yes. "How soon are you thinking?" I shrugged; no real way to know. We'll see how that plays itself out. She said, "Are you planning on moving up there or her down here?" I told her I am moving up there, and she said, "Good call. I can't blame you for wanting to get out of this city." I love this city, for so many reasons; it's the only city I've lived in, of course, and I love how the city is quite literally nestled in nature. It's a very green city. Sarah said, "The guys are going to miss you. Especially Ben. He calls you 'Ganthony Rollhart.'"

One of our staff transcribed a letter Ben wanted to give me when I was sick.

Here's what he wrote me:

Ganthony Rollhart,

     I hope you're gonna get a lot better soon and I hope that your Mom and Dad will take good care of you. If that won't work well we will have to give you some cough syrup or cut out your throat. And I hope you get a lot better or maybe I think maybe you have something in your body that's making you sick like maybe the weather. WE ARE NOT GOING TO KILL YOU. It is more better for him to have some love. I hope his Mom and Dad and his brother (me) are taking good care of him. I worry about your life and that you have a bad cold and cough. I think maybe if you have a temp you should go to the checkup. 

                    Love, Ben Urban

of The Shining and the Civil War

This morning I finished Stephen King's The Shining, and when Mandy and I see each other IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS we're going to watch the movie together. I haven't seen it (except for that clip shown in the movie Twister, right before the high-octane tornado tears the screen apart), and I'm pretty stoked about cuddling up with her and seeing how the Stanley Kubrick's film adaptation differs from the book. Based upon what little I know about the movie, I'm pretty sure they're wildly different at parts (for example: the book doesn't have the typewriter pages littered with all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and the twin girls are a part of the Hotel's history without being an active part of the plot). 

Now that I've spent May "unwinding" through fiction, I'm turning my attention to history again. A history of the narrative sort. Shelby Foote's The Civil War: A Narrative. 

The first book (covering Lincoln's inauguration to the Battle of Kentucky) spans 800 pages. After reading King's The Stand, I feel 800 pages is a shrug of the shoulders and nothing more. 

MAIL!!!

This is how I feel whenever I get a letter from Mandy.

Seriously: it makes my day.

Syria: The Battle for Aleppo

#bigbonelick

This morning I met up with Jessie & Tony, and Jake & Brittany at The Anchor for coffee and breakfast before a four-mile hike at Big Bone Lick State Park. We toured the bogs, admired the prehistoric Pleistocene sculptures, curled our noses at the sulfuric salt licks, and touched the hides of Bison even though the sign advised us not to. It felt so great to be out in nature with good friends, and by the time we parted ways my legs were exhausted, sweat caked my shirt, and I had an insane craving for iced coffee. I napped back at my apartment before my 4-Midnight in Blue Ash, where I fixed Ben and I an a home-cooked Indian dinner: chicken jalfrezi with freshly-baked naan bread. Ben loved it and kept pretending to be a Native American. “That’s not the kind of Indian food this is, and you’re being mildly offensive.” We sat out on his patio and listened to Blue Ash's Concert in the Park carrying through the line of trees from the amphitheater beside the Veteran's Memorial. 

[sunday meditations]

1 PETER 2.1

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.

Keep in mind that when 1 Peter was originally written, there were no chapter breaks or verses. While the later addition of such divisions certainly helps us find what we’re looking for, a downside is that it can keep us from following the entirety of the argument when chapter breaks are included right down the middle of a letter’s flow. Think of it like this: the entire letter is a river that may very well have off-branching streams and tributaries and islands jutted about; but erecting a dam right across the river’s breadth can stifle the current and send it in foreign directions. Chapter breaks work like that sometimes, and mentally removing them as we continue through the letter will make the river flow as it’s meant to. What Peter writes now isn’t detached from what’s come before in Chapter 1; there’s no new argument, no new topic, just the continuation of an unbroken current.

Peter utilizes what’s called a “vice list,” a common Greek tool whereby one throws together a bunch of negative traits, creating a “list” of vices. It’s quite simple, really. He uses the word “So” to say that because of everything we’ve seen previously (specifically 1.23-25, which has as its centerpiece the fact that Christians are regenerate human beings, “born again”), the Christians in Asia Minor are to throw off like raggedy and moth-eaten garments the vices listed. There’s more to it than that, as we’ll see, but as we continue to explore this verse, the main point of it all cannot be missed. 

Surfing through the New Testament (as one is prone to do nowadays with the convenience of the bible on the internet, on IPhones, and IPADS), it’s easy to look at all the vices scattered through the bible as being chosen not for any particular reason but simply yanked out of some cerebral bucket and splashed into the letters without any reason or rhyme. A closer inspection will often reveal, however, that the vices listed aren't so random as we might think.

Remember: What was St. Peter just talking about? “Regeneration,” you reply; and you’d be correct. His inclusion of this vice list works on two different levels, both working together in simultaneous rhythm. The vices he chooses are chosen with purpose, building upon the subject of regeneration; and the nature of the command itself (i.e. the language Peter uses) speaks to a concrete Christian practice which carried more meaning back then than it generally carries today. We’ll start with the latter: baptism.

The Baptismal Echo. Never forget that these letters weren’t written with us in mind. Those things included—the explicit, the inferred, the echoed and the implied—are written for the original intended audience (here, the Christians in Asia Minor). The manner in which letters are written, and the ways that ancient writers would convey information, are different not just because of vast historical and cultural distances but also because the nature of letters themselves has changed. Ancient letter-writers (such as St. Peter) knew how to convey information in subtle ways which the original audience would immediately pick up on but which we modern folk, especially those of us who are westerners, will never see without some assistance from scholars, historians, and archaeologists. Thanks to recent work in these fields, this text has very recently come to life in all its glory, and it comes back to the early Christian practice of baptism.

Because St. Peter will come to baptism again, we won’t spend too much time on the subject here. Suffice it to say that baptism wasn’t a peripheral practice in the Christian communities as it is today. Baptism was a centerpiece of the Christian faith and practice, and it carried worlds of meaning, serving the Christian community in a variety of ways. Its importance is seen in the fact that it is baptism to which Christians are pointed to when they’re commanded to live as Christians should, and it’s also the moment wherein a person partakes in Christ’s death and resurrection. In the early church, baptism had past, present, and future aspects: as a past event, baptism is where a person participated in Christ’s death and resurrection to be born again into a new creation; as a present reality, baptism serves as an assurance of our salvation as well as a reference point for how we’re supposed to live our lives (since, in baptism, we were born again); and baptism points forward to the future, when what happened in baptism (regeneration) will be fully realized with our ultimate glorification. Suffice it to say, baptism was a pretty big deal, and this can’t be missed.

That Peter has baptism in mind is seen in his use of the phrase “put away” (rendered “put off”, “cast aside,” “put aside,” etc. in different translations). This isn’t just a clever little play on words but an echo of the baptismal ceremony. In the early church, converts would shed all their clothes—yes, all of them—and then be baptized, rising out of the water to be dressed in a white robe. Even the word he uses, translated “putting away”, literally means “to shed off one’s clothes.” The changing of clothes speaks to deeper realities than mere garments: the Christian has participated in Christ’s death and resurrection, and the result isn’t just a changed status but also the demand for a changed lifestyle. Putting aside the dirty garments of their paganism, the Gentile converts embraced the Christian modus vivendi, symbolized in the changing of garments. That baptism lies at the heart of all this is seen in how St. Paul directly connects this “putting on/off” with baptism in Galatians 3.27; and later on in the letter, as we shall see, Peter uses the Greek word that corresponds to “laying aside” when talking about baptism (3.21).

It simply cannot be missed: Peter’s pointing the Christians back to their baptism, reminding them of both what happened there in the metaphysical realm and that which was symbolized by the changing of clothes. His point is that now that they’ve participated in Christ’s death and resurrection, they are now to live as regenerate, born again human beings (St. Paul has the same sort of thing to say in Romans 6).

The Genesis 3 Echo. In 1.23-25 Peter brings to the forefront of the Christians’ minds their regeneration; in 2.1, with regeneration not tossed aside, he points the Christians to their baptism as a referent point for both the kind of life they’re to live (dead-to-sin resurrection lives, since they’ve participated, in a very real and concrete way, in Christ’s death and resurrection) as well as the reason they’re to obey his command: they’ve been baptized, they’re born again, so therefore they need to cast off these vices. The vices Peter chooses aren’t just grabbed at random: they epitomize not simply the human condition outside of regeneration but also point back to a pivotal story in the Judeo-Christian worldview: The Fall.

All the vices Peter lists are vices we see at work in the story of mankind’s fall in Genesis 3. That text is all about what happened when mankind decided they were going to overthrow God and take his throne (while a literal rendering of the story looks wildly different, the symbolism and imagery gives way to a much fuller, common-sense, and tragic rendering of the tale). This isn’t the place to get into all that, but Peter looks back to the Fall in choosing his vices, all of which were present in the “initial rebellion”, if you will:

Malice: hostility towards the creator in the desire to dethrone him. 

Deceit: the act of hiding, the birthplace of lying; what we see when Adam and Eve seek to cover their nakedness. 

Hypocrisy: seeking innocence before God, both Adam and Eve shifted blame off themselves, finger-pointing and scapegoating to try and get themselves out of the hole (or should we say grave?) they’d dug. 

Envy: the basic human sin coating the narrative like a microbial film; this is the desire to usurp God and take his place. Mankind envied God’s authority and power, and the initial temptation wasn’t a temptation for knowledge but one of God-like status (“You will be like God,” the serpent promised). 

Slander: a sin employed by all involved (except God, of course), as all the characters resorted to slandering one another to keep their own name pure.

“And what is the point of all this?” All these are characteristics of the rebellious heart, the source of our fall from “the glory of God” (genuine human being status) as well as the continuing well from which we drink in our fallen-ness, the engine pushing our dehumanization. Shedding off these things is the act of embracing our redeemed status, our act of living as genuine human beings. Christians are to shed off such ways of living, embracing a new sort of living, the sort of living God originally intended for us. Of course, this “putting away” is something we are to do daily; it’s not a one-time event, for these aspects of the rebellious heart are woven deep into the fabric of who we are.

All these vices listed are common to all people. Those things which we see at work in the Garden thrive in our own hearts. Don’t for a moment skim through the vices and think, Oh, okay, I’m not any of those things anymore. Malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, slander… The Greek philosophers knew very well that these things dwelling in our hearts drive our lives, and they give birth to all sorts of evils and chaos and pains, both in our lives and in the lives of others. These are characteristic to the human condition, to human beings enslaved to sin, and being redeemed from sin doesn’t mean these things are immediately yanked from our hearts; it means that now we have the power of the Spirit, so that we can overcome them as we deepen our roots in Christ and develop in our ability and desire to live as genuine human beings.

saturday reunion

Jessie and Tony are in town this weekend, and this morning Jessie and I grabbed breakfast at Price Hill Chili and walked around Mount Echo. I always enjoy our time together, and each time we part ways, so many memories of our days at C.C.U. rise like phantoms from the cobwebbed recesses of my mind. This afternoon's memory was of the two of us at Barnes & Noble Bookstore at Newport on the Levee, sipping coffee and working on homework. We went there a handful of times. We had lots of amazing adventures and a good many more uneventful ones. Those are the good kinds of friendships: you don't need glitz and glamour to keep them alive (I have neither of those things).

The Way (VIII)

The cheerfulness you should have is not the kind we might call physiological--like that of a healthy animal. Rather, it is the supernatural happiness that comes from the abandonment of everything, including yourself, into the loving arms of our Father God.

Remain silent, and you will never regret it. Speak, and you often will.

If you were more discreet, you would not have to complain within yourself about the bad taste left by so many of your conversations.

Discretion, a virtue of the few. Who slandered women by saying that discretion is not a woman's virtue? How many men--yes, red-blooded men--have yet to learn!

Always remain silent when you feel indignation surge up within you--even when you have reason to be angry. For in spite of your discretion, you always say more than you want in such moments.

If things go well, let's rejoice, blessing God, who makes them prosper. And if they go wrong? Let's rejoice, blessing God, who allows us to share the sweetness of his cross.

Long faces, coarse manners, a ridiculous appearance, a repelling air. Is that how you hope to inspire others to follow Christ?

Acts of faith, hope and love are valves which provide an outlet for the fire of those souls who live the life of God.

You can be sure you're a man of God if you suffer injustice gladly and in silence.

Gluttony is an ugly vice. Don't you feel a bit amused and even a bit disgusted when you see a group of distinguished gentlemen seated solemnly around a table, stuffing fatty foods into their digestive tubes with an air of ritual, as if the whole thing were an end itself?

All right: that person has behaved badly toward you. But, haven't you behaved worse toward God?

Jesus: whenever you have passed not a heart has remained indifferent. You are either loved or hated. When an apostolic man follows you, carrying out his duty, is it surprising--if he is another Christ!--that he should provoke similar murmurs of aversion or of love?

Once again, they've been talking, they've written--in favor, against; with good, and with not so good will; insinuations and slanders, panegyrics and plaudits; hits and misses... Fool, big fool! As long as you keep going straight toward your target--head and heart intoxicated with God--why care about the clamor of the wind or the chirping of the cricket, or the bellowing, or the grunting, or the neighing? Besides, it's inevitable; don't try to install doors in open air.

I see you, Christian gentleman (that's what you say you are), kissing an image, muttering some vocal prayer, crying out against those who attack the Church of God, even frequenting the holy sacraments. But I don't see you making a sacrifice, nor avoiding certain conversations of a worldly nature (I could with justice have used another adjective!), nor being generous toward those in need (including that same Church of God!), nor putting up with a failing in one of your brothers, nor checking your pride for the sake of the common good, nor getting rid of that tight cloak of selfishness, nor... so many other things! Yes, I see you... But I don't see you... And yet, you say you are a Christian gentleman! What a poor idea you have of Christ!

05/22/14

you have not been missed

The days of the Tazza Mia salad bar have come to an end, and I'm not mad about it. The whole set-up and tear-down took a lot of work, especially once our staffing kept getting slashed. It's one less hurdle we'll have to leap when the word filters down from on high giving us our closing date. It could be any day now. It could be six months from now. We just don't know. I'm riding it out until the doors shut (or until I move up to Wisconsin). The gutting of the cafe has coincided with the gutting of hours, and everyone's started losing shifts (I'm down to just two shifts a week starting this next week). Thankfully I have enough hours with Walk of Joy to pay my bills, but it makes saving up for Wisconsin a wee bit trickier.

I've gotten around $1000 saved up for the move.

It doesn't sound like a lot, but it's not that bad.

Especially considering I technically live below the poverty line.

I'm thinking I'll save $2000-2500 and then move up there.

Maybe that'll be before August. Hopefully it'll be before August.

I've grown disenchanted with Cincinnati, and with each day that passes, I yearn to leave this city behind and start my life with the Wisconsinite in the frigid north. It isn't so much that I'm anxious for Wisconsin; it's more so that I'm anxious to begin living life beside her. I'm thankful for all the benefits of technology, how we're able to stay in contact throughout the day via phone calls and text messages, but it doesn't make up for "real life in real time." That's what I'm aching for. I'd love to be settled down in Ripon (or somewhere nearby) by the time she returns from her three-week frolic in Japan with her sister and brother-in-law. It'd be nice to be there welcoming her home, to our home in the same state and in the same town. I'm ready for this LDR bullcrap to be over with.

As I've been working eighty hours a week (but going down to seventy starting next week) I've been trying to save up as much as I can. I've jokingly told people that me working eighty hours a week as a part-time barista and full-time DCP amounts to about twenty hours a week at a "real job." Not that these aren't real jobs, but our culture often drills in the idea that to be successful, to be a "real man," you need $10,000 in the bank account and a 401(k). I have neither. My prayer is that of Proverbs 30.8-9:

Do not make me poor or rich, but give me each day what I need; for if I have too much, I might forget You are the One who provides, saying, "Who is the Lord?" Or if I do not have enough, I might become hungry and turn to stealing and thus dishonor the good name of my God.

(The Voice)

It's always encouraging to be reminded that what matters isn't income or achievements but willingness, ability, and propensity to work. I have all three of those. A man can support his family working at a fast-food restaurant. I know a man with four sons and a wife who sells cellphones and provides for his family; he doesn't trust in his own resources but in God, and God always provides. Such testaments to God's provision encourage me. My hope is that I don't become so stressed out about how much money I'm bringing in that I forget that provision far transcends what's in the bank account. Many men make millions but provide for their families far less than men who work minimum wage jobs. I sincerely believe that the greatest provision a man must make for his family is spiritual and emotional. A man can afford to give his wife new outfits every week and to give his children new toys and cool gadgets every other day, but that doesn't mean he's providing for them. A Christian man's greatest acts of provision for his family is washing his wife in the water of the Word (Eph 5.26), teaching the scriptures to his children (Deut 6.6-7), and bringing them up in "the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Eph 6.4). My hope is that in my own stress and anxiety over how I will physically provide for my family (and wrestling to trust God in all of that above all else) I don't forfeit the greatest calling I'll have for my future family. 

THE STAND

My introduction to Stephen King came with his collection of short stories entitled Skeleton Crew (the collection left such an indelible imprint on my life, the title has become a common figure of speech in my daily talk). The first story was The Mist, about a heavy fog that settled over a small town in Maine, and out of the fog came none other than monsters from some other dimension. The majority of the story took place in a grocery store, with some scenes in the shopping plaza, and I couldn't put the story down. At the time I worked twenty hours a week at our local I.G.A., whose bay windows mirrored those in the the story. The I.G.A. sat in a plaza reminiscent of King's tale, so the story came to life for me. Ever since then I've been a fan of Stephen King, though I've read only a handful of his novels (my favorites being Cujo and Skeleton Crew).

Now I can add The Stand to the list.

And I've got the miniseries on DVD.

It's six hours long, so it'll take me a while to plow through it.

Next up: The Shining.

(And then Mandy and I are going to watch the movie together!)

I was sitting on the leather sofa in the cafe sipping an iced soy mocha and reading The Shining when Josh (one of the workers at Fusian Sushi next door) plopped down beside me. I told him I hadn't seen the movie and that my girlfriend and I were going to watch it together once I finished the novel. He told me that's the way to do it, otherwise I'd be imagining Jack Nicholson on every page. I politely replied that I imagined Jack Nicholson in everything I read, from historical treatises to fiction novels, and I told him that's been the case since As Good As It Gets. Best Nicholson movie ever.

terrific tuesdays

monday shenanigans

[sunday meditations]

1 PETER 1.22-23

…since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding Word of God; for ‘All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.’ And this word is the good news that was preached to you.

Why are Christians to love one another?  The over-arching Christian manner-of-living is love; and this love is informed by the cross and founded upon what God has done in us and for us through Messiah. In 1.21 St. Peter commands Christians to love one another deeply from the heart; and now he gives (at least) one reason why: because Christians have been “born again.”

Here again we find that phrase which we picked up earlier in the letter, brought back into focus. All Christians are “born again,” regenerate human beings. God acts within the believer, inaugurating new creation. The Christian is no longer identified as a sultry, wicked, dirty sinner, no longer catalogued as a fallen human being. Such a miraculous and divinely-wrought change has been brought to bear that the Christian’s true identity is one marked by innocence, holiness, purity, and genuine human status.

Yes, this is our true identity.

Yes, we are called to live it out in every way.

No, we don’t do it all the time.

Yes, we fail time and again.

Nevertheless, despite our own stupidity and downright rebellion at times, we ARE God’s children. In his abounding grace and mercy, he has remade us in the image of his Son, in the image of genuine humanity. This point can’t be stressed enough, especially since Peter finds it integral to Christian living: Christians are to love one another because they are new human beings, and the way-of-living associated with genuine human beings, as revealed by Christ throughout his life and supremely on the cross, is one marked by love.

What St. Peter does in this text is akin to him telling a slave sold into a gladiatorial school to fight in the arena. The slave’s identity is now locked into him being a gladiator. His former social identities are gone, replaced by the new. He’s to live as a gladiator, train as a gladiator, fight as a gladiator, and (quite likely) die in the arena not as a slave but precisely as a gladiator. Christians have new identities, and because we have these new identities, we’re to live in rhythm with who we really are.

Peter isn’t content to leave it at a simple command: “You’re born again, so please, for the love of God, act like it.” He launches into a wide-birthed exploration of the scope of regeneration, doing so by echoing an Old Testament text, Isaiah 40.6 & 8. This ancient text is about God’s salvation in redeeming his people through “the living and abiding Word of God.”

Understanding what “word of God” means is integral to understanding what Peter’s saying here; before getting to that, however, let’s clear the air regarding what the “word of God” here isn’t, despite what some might think. It’s popular to believe that the “word of God” which Peter speaks of is either (a) the New Testament or even the scriptures as a whole, or (b) Jesus Christ himself. While we refer to the Bible in its entirety, including both the Old and New Testaments, as God’s word, and while we do find in the Bible, such as in John 1, Jesus referred to as “the word of God”, that’s not what Peter means here, and we know this because the text he’s echoing has a different understanding of “the word of God”: that is, the “word of God” not as a collection of ancient texts nor as an identification of Jesus but as the message of God’s salvation.

This message of salvation is the gospel, the Good News. The word “gospel” today draws forth ideas like justification by faith, Jesus dying for our sins, so on and so forth. Many presentations of “the gospel” read like a diagram or step-by-step program regarding how we can find eternal life, as if the gospel were nothing more than a guidebook on how not to burn in hell. When we find “gospel” in the Old Testament, however, it’s not referring to any of this but to the message of God’s salvation: God returning to his people following captivity, the inauguration of a “2^nd Exodus” similar to the one from Egypt but greater in scope and grandeur. Flip forward to the days of the New Testament, and “gospel” comes again, but this time there’s added meaning. In the ancient Roman culture, the Greek word for “gospel” is used to announce military victories or the enthronements of new kings or emperors. Scholars have often asked, “Which meaning does the New Testament embrace? The Hebrew meaning (because of Christianity’s Jewish roots) or the secular meaning (because the New Testament was written in Greek during the heyday of the Roman Empire)?”

The answer, I think, is “Yes.” These two meanings blend together into a violent and intoxicating cocktail, the gospel proclamation that was truly good news and glad tidings, the declaration of the end of captivity, the return of God to his people, the inauguration of the 2^nd Exodus, the beginning of the New World. It was both an announcement of peace and an announcement of war: Messiah, the Prince of Peace, has taken the throne following his cosmic victory at Calvary, and in the process he’s dethroned all the other “powers that be” and they’re not too happy about it (to be quite frank, they’re actually pretty pissed off).

The point Peter’s making is this: that which Isaiah 40 spoke to (among countless other prophecies) has been fulfilled in Messiah. Through Jesus Christ, God’s salvation has gone out to the Jews and, in accordance with his promises to Abraham, is spreading throughout the rest of the world.

The message of salvation endures 2000+ years later. The gospel remains powerful, despite oppressive opposition. The future victory of God remains certain, despite heavy losses at times. Those who have responded to the gospel in faith in repentance, those who have experienced for themselves the victory of Messiah, those who have been made new in God’s salvation, such people will endure. Unlike the grass, they will not wither and decay. Resurrection remains a vital and certain promise.

There’s that word again: resurrection. Not simply the resurrection of Christ, but the resurrection of all those who have participated in Christ’s death and resurrection in baptism and who will participate fully in that resurrection in the future. This is the main note Peter’s striking as he contrasts perishable seed with eternal life by imperishable seed (the word of God). It’s a contrast between natural birth (into a pagan community destined for judgment) and spiritual birth (being “born again” into the community of God’s people whose future isn’t negative judgment but vindication). Those who have been born again, the regenerate children of God, are to love one another deeply from the heart, since they are God’s renewed humanity and share together in the promise of eternal life and resurrection.  

snapshots of a social life

Allosaurus, dude. (just because I can)

Somehow I've found the time to make friendships a priority in the midst of my chaotic schedule. These moments of companionship, however short, help keep me sane.

Precisely a week ago Kyle and I met up at the cafe to talk coffee and catch up. He's opening a coffee shop in northeast Ohio, wanted to refresh his knowledge on some things. After we talked coffee we went across the street to Rock Bottom; I had a beer and he had a root beer (he's quite the aficionado), and we talked Jesus, ministry, and friendship. The last time I'd seen him was his marriage, I do believe, and I instantly remembered why we've had such a good friendship. We can be open and honest with one another, we don't have to filter all our thoughts through a "Christian filter" (does that make any sense?), and we can dream together. I love the idea of Mandy and I joining him and his wife to do ministry in Australia in the coming years. I wouldn't be mad if God took us in that direction.

This past Monday Blake, Traci, Ams and I had a little "taco night", and then Blake and I set our teeth against one another in Goldeneye for the Wii. At one point I had 19 kills and he had one. For some reason I easily find my way around those sorts of games. "Too bad Birds of Steel isn't two-player!" I exclaimed. No one but me is upset it isn't. After reconnecting with Blake and Traci, I drove five minutes down the road and got to hang out with Tyler and his fiance Julia for a little bit. I left at sunset, though, just in time to miss Tyler's Indian dances on the "naked farm," whatever that means. It's a farm I'd like to be a part of, but only with certain company.

Ams and I have gotten to see quite a bit of each other lately, since she's been letting me crash in her guest bedroom when the weather's unbearably warm. I, for one, will miss winter, if only because my Hobbit Hole lacks AC. Ams and I don't really do anything exciting: we watch TV, share a few words or stories, laugh a little bit, and then go to bed. Our relationship doesn't need excitement to make it intimate; we have that shared communion that's alive and flourishing in silence as well as activity. I appreciate that about us.

Pat D. and I did dinner yesterday afternoon at Zola's Pub & Grill in Covington. We had a few beers and dined on red meat, talked about faith, friendship, and what life has in store down the road. This week has been a little somber for both of us. Debbie, mother to our high school bffs, passed away last weekend. Her funeral was Wednesday, and I was able to show up for a little bit between shifts at Tazza Mia and Walk of Joy. It was good seeing Chris and Lee, Hank and Ashlie, and a handful of others who I haven't seen since my pre-college days. It's awful circumstances to bring people back together, if only for a few moments, but Debbie would have liked that. 

Pat D. and I talked a lot about her, our memories of her: how she loved everyone so sacrificially, how even on her deathbed her primary interest was serving other people. As her death neared, she evangelized to her husband Don, and when he became a Christian, she died within the hour, content. Hers was a noble death, and one to be envied, though it struck her down at such a young age (she was only 50). I'm reminded of a C.S. Lewis quote: "Remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy." I'm terrified of death, but not what lies on the other side. Chris' faith is strong, and he gripped my hand with strength, and I could see the grief etched over his face, but it was a grief that knows the distance is temporary, that there will be a joyful reunion. "She's in paradise now," he said, and the way he said it, you knew it wasn't a pithy cliche. He knew it, and found strength in it. 1 Thessalonians 4.13-18 is only trite cliche if you don't believe in it.

Brothers and sisters, we want you to be fully informed about those who have fallen asleep in death so that you will not be overwhelmed with grief like those who live outside the true hope. Here's what we believe: since Jesus died and rose again, in the same way, God will bring with Jesus all who have died through him. For we can say all this to you confidently because it is the word of the Lord: we who are still alive when the Lord comes will not precede those who have fallen asleep in death. On that day, with a command that thunders into the world, with a voice of a chief heavenly messenger, and with a blast of God's trumpet, the Lord Himself will descend from heaven; and all those who died in the Anointed One, our Liberating King, will rise from the dead first. Then we who are alive will be snatched up together with them into the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. This is how we, the resurrected and the living, will be with Him forever. So comfort one another with this hope, and encourage one another with these words.

 (1 Thess 4.13-19, The Voice)

"The Way" (VII)

Don't aspire to be like the gilded weather vane on top of a great building. However much it may glitter, however high it may be, it adds nothing to the firmness of the structure. Rather be like an old stone block hidden in the foundations, under the ground where no one can see you. Because of you, the house will not fall. 

The more I am exalted, my Jesus the more you must humble me in my heart, showing me what I've been and what I'll be if you forsake me.

If you were to obey the impulse of your heart and the dictates of reason, you would always lie flat on the ground, prostrate, a vile worm, ugly and miserable in the sight of that God who puts up with so much from you!

Pride? Why? Before long (maybe years, maybe days) you'll be a heap of rotting flesh, worms, foul-smelling fluids, your shroud in filthy shreds... and no one one earth will remember you.

"Father, how can you stand so much filth?" you asked me after a contrite confession. I said nothing, thinking that if your humility makes you feel like that--like filth, a heap of filth!--then we may yet turn all your weakness into something really great.

Obey, as an instrument obeys in the hands of the artist--not stopping to consider the why and the wherefore of what it is doing. Be sure that you'll never be directed to do anything that isn't good and for the greater glory of God.

How well you've been told to do something that seems difficult and useless. Do it. And you'll see that it's easy and fruitful.

How well you understand obedience when you write: "Always to obey is to be a martyr without dying!"

Your obedience is not worthy of the name unless you are ready to abandon your most flourishing work whenever someone with authority so commands.

Don't forget it: he has most who needs least. Don't create needs for yourself.

As a man of God, put the same effort into scorning riches that men of the world put into possessing them.

Detach yourself from the goods of this world. Love and practice poverty of spirit: be content with what is sufficient for leading a simple and temperate life.

Don't forget that you are just a trash can. So if by any chance the divine gardener should lay his hands on you, and scrub and clean you, and fill you with magnificent flowers, neither the scent nor the colors that beautify your ugliness should make you proud. Humble yourself: don't you know that you are a trash can? But we have this treasure in earthen vessels to show that the transcendent power belongs to God and not to us. (2 Cor. 4:7)

#veteransmemorial

from blue ash

At times I fear I have lost my mind. Perhaps eighty hours a week isn't enough; I keep picking up as many hours as I can. I'm almost never home, which isn't the worst thing, since my attic apartment doesn't have A.C. Thanks to my little sister who lets me crash at her place when the heat gets too intense.

I'm in Blue Ash and am waiting for dinner to cook in the oven.

I make a pretty mean chicken casserole. A recent discovery.

Usually I pour the chicken casserole over rice.

I'm just too lazy to even make rice today. 

And if you know how easy it is to make rice, you can imagine how lazy I'm being.

This blog has taken quite the downturn. Original posts have become a rarity. It isn't so much that I'm disinterested in this whole ordeal (though, at times, I am). It's a combination of (a) being too busy to actually formulate intelligent posts, and (b) being too busy to care to formulate intelligent posts. 

Ben starts softball in two weeks.

Today we went to Coleraine to pick up his schedule.

I'm looking forward to watching him play softball.

I'll sit in the bleachers, throw back some sodas, and eat sunflower seeds.

I'll have to guard my seeds, though: Jason has a tendency to throw them away.

(He thinks they're only for birds and doesn't like me eating them)

On Saturday I started and finished Stephen King's On Writing. Just reading about writing makes me itch to write a story (as if I really have time for that). Here are some of his "tips for writers" that I found spot-on:

     Mix short and long sentences.

     If a word isn't needed, cut it.

     Fluff doesn't make for good writing.

     Brevity is Beautiful.

     Use the active voice.

     Don't be lazy and use passive voice.

     Avoid adverbs: they're a cheap way to describe something.

     Adverbs: the equivalent of a parlor trick.

     

     In dialogue, "said" is the best word to use.

     It doesn't interrupt the story.

     Think of it as an invisible marker.

     Always tell the truth in dialogue.

     Don't worry about what people will think.

     If your dialogue isn't realistic, your story flounders.

     If you're doing backstory, make sure it's interesting.

     Also make sure it's relevant to the story.

     Don't write big paragraphs if you don't have to.

     White space is divine.

     Too much description is worse than too little description.

     Straight description and figurative language, both are great.

     Don't dare use cliches. It's lazy.

     Embrace fresh images and simple vocabulary.

     The cardinal rule of fiction: SHOW, DON'T TELL.

     And actually do it.

     When revising, clarify phrases and delete adverbs.

     Ask: "Is the story coherent?"

     Ask: "What is this story about? How can I make its 'meaning' clearer?"

     Ask: "Is there any symbolism? How do I enhance any symbolism?"

     When you've finished your second draft, have some select people review it.

     Their thoughts are subjective but worthwhile.

     If criticisms disagree, it's a wash, and you're the tie. Do what you will.

     If there's a consistent critique, acknowledge it and fix it.

     Don't make your story puffy.

     The second draft should be ninety percent of the first draft.

     Cut, cut, CUT. 

     Cut what isn't interesting.

     Cut what isn't relevant.

     Is something unnecessary? Cut it, because it'll bog down the story.

   

*four months in*

 

Whenever I'm alone with you,

you make me feel like I am home again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

you make me feel like I am whole again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

you make me feel like I am young again.

Whenever I'm alone with you,

you make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away, I will always love you.

However long I stay, I will always love you.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.

I'll always love you.

(Adele, Lovesong)

happy mother's day!

Ok, but seriously.

I love my mom.

The two of us, we're kinda crazy:

[sunday meditations]

1 PETER 1.22

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart…

This verse can be quite confusing, because it seems to promote the idea that Christians have some sort of role to play in their own purification; it’s almost as if St. Peter is saying that Christians make themselves holy. The process of purification involves both the purging of the bad and the enhancing of the good, as it is with the purification of metals; in the religious sense, purification is what happens when the evil is purged and regeneration takes place. However, the most basic rule of hermeneutics—context!—demands that we allow, as theologians tell us, to “let scripture interpret scripture.” The whole of scripture is quite clear: salvation, regeneration, justification, purification (and any other “-tions” you can think of) are the work of God. The role that mankind plays (with the exception of sanctification) is one of responding to what God has already done in Christ, and the appropriate response is faith and repentance; if that response is genuine, it will show itself in obedience. The obedience Peter speaks of isn’t obedience to a set of rules and regulations but obedience to the proclamation of the gospel truth; this obedience is, specifically, responding to what God has done in Messiah by putting one’s faith in him and repenting of all former devotions. This obedience brings about purification; it isn’t a purification we do for ourselves but a purification God does in us and for us.

Because we who have responded to Christ in faith and repentance have been purified, we are now to love one another deeply from the heart. The Christian mode-of-living in community is to be undergirded and founded upon love for one another. The love which Peter speaks of isn’t a love of the emotions. It doesn’t mean having warm and fuzzy feelings towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. This is desirable, of course, but it isn’t always the case. Just as it is with biological families, so it is in our spiritual family: sometimes there are siblings we just don’t like or can’t even stand. Some personalities don’t connect in friendship. This doesn’t exempt the Christian from loving such siblings. If love were to be reduced to some sort of emotional euphoria, then all of us would fail most of the time. The biblical type of love leaps over that emotional barricade and becomes a matter of the heart, that is to say a matter of the will. The love we are to have for one another is a love that is rooted in action: it’s putting others’ interests before ourselves, sacrificing our time, energy, and money for other Christians; it’s thinking firstly of our spiritual family and lastly of ourselves. This is the kind of love that fosters genuine community, the kind of love which Christ displayed so vibrantly on the cross, and it is precisely this type of love which St. Peter commands the purified to have towards one another.

Understanding this can become quite difficult since we live in a culture where “love” is often seen as a loftier word for “sex” (after all, isn’t sex just “making love”?). The media doesn’t help this perception: from the radio to the television, from musical artists to movies, the primary message is easy to decipher: “Pleasure is at the root of love.” Yet this cultural understanding is far removed from the love that Christians are called to have for one another. Our culture’s identification of love strips love (especially romantic love) from the fabric of commitment. Cultural love revolves around the self so that “true love” is all about the fulfillment and comfort of the individual. Cultural love tells us that love is mostly just a feeling we “fall into” against our control and even, at times, against our greatest efforts; and at the center of all this is always me. This perception of love is a twisted and corrupt parody of the kind of love that God demands we have for one another, and this cultural love is rooted in selfishness and self-gratification rather than love’s true hallmarks: selflessness and sacrifice.

Our culture shows us sex and says, “This is love.”

God shows us a cross and says, “This is love.”

Jesus, in his life, actions, and teachings, shows us what true love looks like. His teachings show us what love looks like when lived out from the heart of genuine human living, and his teachings likewise tell us about God’s original design for love. Love isn’t about fulfilling the desires of the Self; rather, true love is for the glory of God and for the glory of others. It is selfless, giving without necessarily receiving, sacrificing without necessarily being sacrificed for, and it dies to its needs and looks out for the good of others more than it looks out for its own self. Christ shows us that love is more than a feeling; after all, the New Testament is quite clear that Jesus didn’t “feel” like going through all the suffering and agony starting in Gethsemane and culminating with the cross. Love is a choice, despite what culture might say, and it isn’t something we just “fall into.” Genuine love is shown when we choose to obey God and to serve others, especially fellow Christians.

The Apostle Paul wrote a beautiful description of love in 1 Corinthians 13. In ancient times, Corinth held the title of being one of the most immoral cities. At one time, as legend states, the Greek goddess Aphrodite had 1000 prostitutes in her temple. Even if that legend is false, Corinth isn’t exempt from its blatant mockeries of love: a 1^st Century slang word for prostitute, slut, or whore was “a Corinthian girl.” It’s no surprise, then, that Paul’s most ornate portrait of love is given to a people who were culturally indoctrinated with lust replacing love. Corinth, Las Vegas, our own hometowns… Culture continues leading us astray, and it will do us well to be reoriented towards a better understanding of love. Remember: undergirding all of Paul’s descriptions of love is selflessness, sacrifice, humility, and kindness. When we look at Christ’s life and character, we catch a glimpse of what genuine human living looks like, and it’s undergirded by this kind of love, a 1 Corinthians 13 sort of love. Here is Eugene Peterson’s beautiful paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13.4-7:

            Love never gives up.

            Love cares more for others than for self.

            Love doesn’t strut,

            doesn’t have a swelled head,

            doesn’t force itself on others;

            isn’t always “me first”,

            doesn’t fly off the handle,

            doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

            doesn’t revel when others grovel,

            takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

            puts up with anything,

            trusts God always,

            always looks for the best,

            never looks back,

            but keeps going to the end.