Monday, January 26, 2015

the 62nd week


Martin Luther King Day. Amos and I met up at The Anchor for coffee and conversation. He came over to the Hobbit Hole for a while and then headed up to Mason to see Blake. Tyler took his place in my cozy attic, and we played video games and shot the shit. Tyler headed out, and I drove north up the interstate to see Ams. Amos came over to her apartment, and Ams ordered Chinese food, enough to go around: General Tso's chicken paired with white rice and a glorious amount of crab rangoon. I called Ashley on the way home and did some reading before bed, finishing Marcus Borg's excellent book, Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time.

Our Three Month. Today marks my and Ashley's three-month. I kept calling it our two month all day long (maybe it's a tumor?). After coffee at The Anchor, I worked in Blue Ash and then swung by Tyler's place to see him for a bit. We've been trying to hang out more regularly, and I like that; it's just nice to escape the stress and catch up and play jokes and make fun of each other and play video games. He's under a lot of stress with having a baby this year and trying to get things in line, so it's good for him, too. Ashley, Ams and I hung out at Ashley's late into the night, drinking vodka and watching The West Wing. I may have broken up with her a little over a month ago, but I'm glad we kept the ball rolling. 

Wednesday. I skipped coffee at The Anchor and fixed my own at home, reading Karl Payne's Spiritual Warfare in my pajamas with oil lanterns going. I headed up to West Chester and spent the afternoon hanging out with Ashley and Zoey. Chloe's back in school, to Ashley's relief; and Zoey's been in such a better mood since she was moved into Nathan's old room. When Ashley put Zoey down, we relaxed in her room watching episodes of The West Wing and discussing possibly doing Lent together (though Protestant, she has a Catholic heritage). I worked 3-7:00 with the guys and spent the evening reading in the Hobbit Hole; I finished Karl Payne's Spiritual Warfare: Christians, Demonization, and Deliverance. An interesting and provocative read.

Thursday. I went to The Anchor for coffee and started reading John Dominic Crossan's Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography. I paid in nickles and dimes and headed up to work in Blue Ash. Ben was sick, so Jason and I went to Gorman Heritage Farms alone and spent an hour cruising around the farm in the golf cart (I call it a go-kart). I stayed in Blue Ash until 4:00 and then surprised Ashley since she had a rough day and was pissed off. Get this: her dentist office has a policy that if you cancel four appointments or are late to your appointment, you're dropped as a client. Three times she went, was forced to wait at least two hours because of "emergency clients," and had to cancel the appointments because she had to get home to get Chloe off the bus. They counted those cancellations against her. Today she was ten minutes late because of ridiculous traffic, and they told her since she was late, she was dropped as a patient. They had charged her $28 for an operation never done, and she demanded her money until they gave it to her, told them how shitty their policies are, and walked out the door, "I hate Middletown," she growled. 

Friday. After coffee and reading at The Anchor, I spent the day with Ashley and the girls. Ams joined us when she got off work. I really like how she and Ashley are such good friends; she hangs out with Ashley as much as I do. I'm glad they have that connection, and that Amanda really likes her not just as my girlfriend but as her friend, too. Ashley had to work for two hours, so Ams and I watched Chloe after Zoey went to sleep. Chloe has become obsessed with Grand Theft Auto V. I should clarify: she's under strict rules NOT to use any of the guns (except in a boxcar, oddly enough). All she does is drive around town and get haircuts and tattoos. Jessie and I talked a little bit today; she asked how things are going with Ashley. I told her really good, and they are: Ashley is one of my best friends, and I love spending time with her. I can be myself around her, don't feel pressure to "put on airs" or be a certain (likable) person. Ashley and I, we're both just as content with a night out to dinner and doing something as we are with a night in, watching through TV series on Netflix or playing video games. No matter what it is I'm doing, it's always better doing it with her, even if it's something mundane.

Saturday. Dad and I met up for breakfast at Waffle House. He was on his way to a hilly race in Devou Park and handed off the Civic's title. We talked about ministry, the job hunt, things with Ashley. "Things with her have been a lot easier since I came to realize that uncertainty isn't the same as intuition. I think because I had so much clarity in my desire to be with Mandy forever so it makes the natural uncertainty in the early stages of a relationship look abnormal. But it's okay not to know those things quite yet. It's normal now to know those things at this point. What I do know is that I like Ashley, she means a lot to me, I love spending time with her, and I don't feel motivated by fear, and nor do I have this compulsion to always put the best foot forward because I know I can't trust her with myself. I can trust her with myself, the Good and the Bad, and there's peace and safety in that." He headed to the race and I went to Ashley's. The girls were with their dad, so we took the opportunity to break our diets and chow down on Indian food at Swad Indian Buffet (it's operated by the old owners of Dusmesh, the ones who ran the place during the Claypole days). I was slated to do an overnight at Ridgecrest, but around 6 PM on shift I started feeling queasy and then promptly puked. I was deemed contagious and not allowed to work. I was relieved at 11 PM even though I was already feeling better. Maybe it was my medicine?

Sunday. I woke feeling better, but not quite at the top of my game. I went to Tyler's to see him and John & Brandy and spent the evening being taken care of by Ashley. She was attentive to my every need, even though I told her I was feeling fine. Ams joined us for a little bit and then headed to Blake's. Ashley and I spent the day hanging out with the girls and watching The West Wing (we're almost done with Season One). I bid her farewell and spent the evening in the Hobbit Hole finishing Crossan's Jesus: A Revolutionary Biography. Three books in one week? It's looking good for my New Year's Resolution. I went to bed pondering how lucky I am to be with a woman like Ashley. She's always expressing appreciation, showing compassion for my weaknesses and encouraging me to grow, submitting to my leadership even though it's pretty shitty a lot of the times. She sees the best in me when I see the worst. She encourages me in my dreams and aspirations, finds my quirks and interests cute. She's always interested in learning the details of what I'm reading and writing. She makes every effort to learn how I work so that she can show her respect and affection better. She's always looking for ways to take care of me, going out of her way to help me and be a support in whatever way she can. I've never known a woman as selfless, sacrificial, and devoted as her. She's passionate about praying together, reading scripture together, and loving God together. We are both human and frail and broken and redeemed. 

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