"Daddy Tried" (II)

“Fatherhood is everywhere, and not because God is a chauvinist. Fatherhood is everywhere, and not because Scripture was written in ancient patriarchal times. Fatherhood is everywhere, and not because it was written when men were the ones who learned how to write and women were stuck at home at the hearth birthing babies. Fatherhood is everywhere because God is the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and He created man to testify to His glorious nature… [The] healing of fatherhood is the fruit of true Christian faith… By the love of God the Father we are restored to loving fellowship with Him as His adopted sons; and from that restoration come other restorations infinitely deep and joyful and healing. We are restored to forgive and love our own fathers; and as godly fathers ourselves, we are restored to loving our own sons and daughters.”

“It becomes clear that all responsibility and authority delegated by God to man points back to God’s archetypal Fatherhood—not just in the home but also in the church and society. We get it that every man is a father, whether he is single or married, childless or with quiver-full, just as every woman is a mother whether she is childless or has a houseful of little ones that are the fruit of her womb. No man can escape the weight of responsibility and authority God placed in his sex. By virtue of his manhood, he is a father and God will judge his stewardship of this dignity intrinsic to his sex. The only question is whether his fatherhood is good or bad, righteous or evil.”

“God is fruitful and has written fruitfulness into every part of His creation. From birds to apple trees to the marriage bed, the fruitfulness of His creation reflects the fruitfulness of the Godhead. Fatherhood begins with fruitfulness and without fruitfulness there is no fatherhood.”

“[Think] of the hardship that raising sons and daughters entails. First there’s the work of marriage. Then there’s the work of supporting your wife and children. Then the work of discipline. The work of love. The work of instruction. The work of leading your sons and daughters to see their sin and hate it, to turn to Jesus in repentance. Think of the pain of believing God’s covenant promises—that He will be a God to us and to our children’s children to the thousandth generation—as we watch our sons rebel against God and spend months, years, and sometimes decades slopping pigs in a far land. Now you’re ready to consider why it is that so many couples choose to have dogs rather than children; why so many choose never to marry at all; why so many fathers abandon their wives and children; why divorced dads show up late—or never—for visitations. Fatherhood is hard, hard work and we’re never released from it until death separates us. Fatherhood is painful. Fatherhood brings us to our knees. Fatherhood is not all joy. It’s also a heavy dose of blood, sweat, fears, and tears.”

“Fathers and mothers are paying so-called ‘physicians’ to cut their babies to pieces while the little ones are still alive and nestled in their mothers’ wombs. Abortion is fathers and mothers consuming the flesh of their own sons and daughters and it’s a horror beyond imagination. This is the depth to which God’s curse has taken us. God blesses man through fruitfulness. God curses man through fruitlessness. Which is to say, zero population growth, one-child policies, gender-selective abortion, ECPs, and all the rest of the progressives’ agenda for their so-called ‘liberated women’ are not at all what they’re sold to be. They are not women exercising their own very personal right to private choices. Rather, each of these tragedies is one more aspect of God’s curse of fruitlessness carried out against a wicked people.”

“In our soft and effeminate culture where every man, including the Christian father, is working hard to be thought well of by his wife and all those predisposed to judge and condemn fathers and fatherhood, you will have to remind yourself of the simple fact stated over and over again in the Word of God, that discipline is love… To neglect discipline is to be loveless. When God disciplines us, He is bearing testimony—precious testimony—that we are His sons. We belong to Him and He loves us. Jesus rightly says that we, ‘being evil, know how to give good gifts to our children.’ Thus we must give our sons and daughters the good gift of discipline. This is the life of faith.”

“It’s so important for children to grow up hearing their fathers confess their own sinfulness, and thus coming to understand that God disciplines Daddy just as Daddy disciplines his son. One tragic statement I hear regularly from college students in our church is that they’ve never heard their Christian father admit particular sins or ask his wife or family to forgive him. I simply cannot fathom how a husband and father can be a faithful Christian without humbling himself before his family by asking for their forgiveness. How do we glorify God before our families if we refuse to humble ourselves?”

“Satan is the evil slave master. He will tell you that [spanking] is an act of conformity to old, defective norms that will crush and destroy your children. He’ll tell you that spanking produces compliant children, conformists, mindless cogs in the machine of American culture. But he lies. And his goal is for you to produce children with no fear of God, no understanding of consequences, and no ability to fight their sin. No ability to say no to their passions and lusts. Conformists. Cogs in his machine. Slaves. Jesus is the Great Abolitionist. Jesus came to heal fatherhood and sonship so that fathers will be agents of reconciliation and liberation to our sons. The goal of fatherhood is to work with the Holy Spirit to set our children free. Rebellion always produces greater conformity to the patterns of this evil world whereas obedience produces freedom in Christ.”

“God’s patience has an end and fathers should be like Him in this also. Our children must not be raised in a home where their father is fickle or thin-skinned. They must not be raised by a father who is inconsistent in his standards and punishments. They must not be raised by a father who disciplines out of irritation. Must I go on? They must not be raised by a father who disciplines with an eye to his wife’s or in-law’ or son’s approval. They must not be raised by a father who disciplines out of a fear of appearing weak… Father, train your sons and daughters to know the character of God. And not the god of psychologists and school counselors and the talking heads of evangelical inspirational radio and family conferences, but the God of the Flood and fire and brimstone, and the deaths of Ananias and Sapphira.”

“As a father, [discipline] is your greatest work and you will die surrounded by its fruit, good or bad. You will do the hard work of instruction, training, and discipline, and die surrounded by godly children, spouses, and grandchildren; or you will neglect your duties and die surrounded by covenant breakers. Now don’t get wrapped up in the exception that proves the rule. Sure, in some of our homes there are Esaus whose rebellion is not because of, but in spite of, our faithful discipline. But right now I’m not talking about them. Do the work of discipline that will allow you to die in peace.”

“There’s only so much time in life and your years with your children will soon be over. Even fathers and mothers of large families will live most of their lives without children in their homes. The years of child rearing are quickly over, so how do you redeem the time? Priorities, priorities. You have received God’s command to teach His words to your children diligently. You’re to be a harp of ten thousand strings that harps on one string relentlessly, and that string is the Word of God. You may think you can trust other Christians, and particularly your wife, to have the same priority you’ve been given by God, but you can’t. You have to fight for the right priority in the raising and training and education and discipline of your children, and your battle is not simply with the world. There will be times when you must also fight the church and your children’s precious mother. The Word and words of God are to be preeminent among all the good things clamoring for the minds and hearts and hours of your home and your children. So put on your mud boots, roll up your sleeves, and dig in.”

“How many things are necessary? One. What is that one thing? Sitting at the Lord’s feet, listening to His Word. Fathers are to govern their homes by Scripture… Every word of the Bible is the Word of our Lord. Thus the one thing necessary is for us and our children to be devoted to the Word of God. This begins by our faithfully attending the preaching and teaching of Scripture by the officers of Christ’s church. It continues by our taking every step possible to make His Word the very center of our family life. And yes, it is still true today as it was true in the time of our Lord Jesus that doing dishes and cutting the grass and doing homework and cleaning the bathroom and cooking and doing the laundry and practicing the piano and writing papers get in the way of that one thing necessary.”

“Fathers, it is your work to protect your home from the practical-mindedness and efficiency of your precious wife when, like Martha, she obstructs the one thing necessary for your marriage and children and household to be fruitful for God. She means well. You married her for her intellectual gifts and administrative abilities and sober-mindedness and frugality… You have been blessed by her schedules, by her loving prodding about how you spend money and why you’re so often late for dinner. Almost everything about this prudent wife God gave you is a blessing beyond your wildest dreams, yet sometimes you have to admit she gets between you and the children when you are trying to lead your household into greater faith, greater submission to God, greater sacrifice for the Kingdom of Heaven, growth in hospitality, and changed priorities putting some specific commands of Scripture back at the center of your home. But what did Jesus say—how many things are necessary? One thing. And what is that one thing? The Word and words of God—that’s the one thing absolutely necessary. God has made your wife an efficiency machine able to juggle twenty batons and thirty balls at a time, but you are the father of her children and you’re useless to her if you don’t reorder her priorities in order to protect the pride of position of the one thing necessary. Don’t fail your children. Don’t fail your wife. Guard your home from Martha’s attempt to change her home’s priorities. Exercise your authority.”