r.e.g.r.e.t.

Yep, I'd say that 'bout sums it up.

Damien Jurado - "Sheets"

Because this song has been playing non-stop throughout the house (with no complaints, I should add), I decided to share it with any readers who wish to partake. The artist is Damien Jurado, the album is "Caught in the Trees", and the song is called "Sheets." The video above is him playing the song live. This song, it's haunting, and it takes me back to days best not remembered, but days that nonetheless bring no pain. Jurado is able to capture the most heart-breaking and depressing of life's moments perfectly in melody and lyrics. A comparable song-writer you'd be hard-pressed to find.

leap year!

Aguirus, a mutated ankylosaur and the second
Kaiju (Japanese monster) to appear after Godzilla.

The story goes like this: our calendars have 365 days in them, but it takes more than 365 days for the sun to orbit around the earth (whoops, went all pre-Copernicus there; let's flip that). On average it takes the earth about 365.25 days to make a complete orbit. Those extra quarter days tack on, and given enough time without any intervention, we'd be having winter in the summer and summer in the winter. Our seasons would be all messed up. So we of the Gregorian Calendar add an extra day about every four years. I say "about" because it actually takes a little less than 365.25 days for the earth to orbit the sun, and so down the line there are little tweaks of this Leap Year business to keep things on track. Taking all this into account, the average year will have 365 days, 5 hours, 49 minutes, and 12 seconds (according, of course, to Wikipedia). 

Blake and I smoked out on the porch today, enjoying the spring-like weather that's become oddly commonplace this winter, and I suggested that instead of having a leap day every four years, every four years we should have a global four-day "re:calibration party". It'd be a sort of Jubilee, only the secular and Copernican version. Oh, and regarding the picture: this is the only interesting thing a Google Earth search of "Leap Year" brought up. The other choice was a movie poster featuring Matthew Goode and Amy Adams, and Kaiju are just cool. I used to have them all as figurines when I was a kid, but I couldn't tell you anything more about the Japanese franchise (but I do know how it took a turn for the worse with a jet-pack and a certain Mr. F some time ago). 

a preamble (of sorts)

Back-to-back weekly recaps? Really, I'm ashamed.
I've been trying my best to update every day or two.
And as you can see, my best isn't that great.

There's been a lot going in my life, or at least a lot going on inside me. I've been rethinking a lot of things, been putting the spotlight to the darker corners of my mind. I've had to be honest with myself about a lot of stuff lately, and that's been both scary and invigorating at the same time. It's a strange concoction, delivering a punch somewhere between euphoria and nausea. I haven't really talked to a lot of people about these things, have been playing it close to the chest (and, no, I'm not "coming out of the closet"). I've learned that it's best not to share everything, and I've been trying my hardest to employ such wisdom. These things that have been keeping me up at night, these things that have been cluttering my mind and pricking at my heart, are integral to my life at the moment and have the power of altering its course in ways I don't dare speculate. With all that said, I'll be throwing up some posts regarding "the drama" sometime soon eventually. I'll write the first post this weekend, and start publishing them this week. That's the game-plan, but we'll see how things turn out. 

the 35th week

President's Day. Because we were superbly slow during work, I shut down everything early and got a jump-start on my day (which is to say I took my nap forty minutes early; Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are my nap days, and there's concrete logic behind that decision; perhaps another time?). Amos closed the store at 4:30 (an hour early), and he was pissed when he got home, because not only was I sleeping, but so was everyone else: Blake, Ams, and Andy, all of us curled up sleeping in our beds at 5:30 P.M. "This is bullshit!" he shouted, rousing everyone awake to begin the night. Brandy and John came over, and Blake made pasta, we watched The Walking Dead (the usual Monday occurrence), and we closed off the night playing Black Ops (Brandy's cool, 'cause she's a girl who likes shooting games). 

Tuesday. Amos and I went to The Anchor before closing the store. We got out late, it was a frustrating day. These days, they're becoming more common. I've slumped into a "blue mood", if you will. Really, it's just sadness. 'Bout what? Lots of things, really, though most are existential rather than situational; i.e., nothing super "bad" has happened, per se, but again the weight of the world--its clueless chaos, its senseless barbarism, the great depths of the Unknown, the Uncertainty, the dark nature of epistemology. The world grows darker, and I fear my heart treads softly behind. All during work I was in a foul mood, mostly sadness interspersed with bits of frustration and anger thrown in here-&-there; it was one of those days where everything gets under you skin, but it's getting under your skin not by its own virtue but because you're already stuck in that icky place. When we left work I felt a bit better, but though the shadows were drawn, I know they'll lengthen again. "Such is life." Or so I'm told; I'm only (hopefully) 1/3 through it. 

Wednesday. Isaac and I left work at the same time, walking downtown to our cars and smoking cigarettes and drinking traditional cappuccinos. On his way into work, Amos saw a hobo named Randy fall off his bike and hurt himself, so he called 911. "The dude was just lying there on Glenway in shock." The spurts of "the blues" continued, this time focused on Jessica and Carly, and what it was like to hang out with them, and how I really grew to care for them, and how--one day--it all just ended. I attached a lot of meaning to those friendships, and though we were hanging out for only about 3-4 months (and it's been 3 times that since), I still think about them often. Mostly I think about Carly (which would've surprised me not nine months ago, seeing as I was wine-drunk infatuated with Jessica). I miss Cars a lot, and I drowned my sorrow with "Explosions in the Sky" and took my scheduled nap till 6:00. Amos, Andy and I spent the evening playing video games and zoning out: it's nice to drown out the noises of the world with a ballistic knife in one hand and a tomahawk in the other. "Apache class."

Thursday. I did some writing at The Anchor before a swift and solid close. Rhino apparently moved to Texas, so Bob's been roasting for the last couple days as we try to figure out just what the hell to do. Our roasters keep bailing on us! Back home Amos, Andy and I played video games, and I spent most of the evening hanging out with Ams. She read through Act III and likes it like she liked Act I (of my zombie story, of all things). That's certainly good news. 

Friday. After work Blake, Ams and I kicked off the weekend by hanging out and then taking--you guessed it--our respective naps. Blake's was so good that he just didn't get up. Amos, Andy and I spent the evening watching TV and hanging out, and C. Isaac came over after a wearying day. It started raining ice so he decided to spend the night, and a good thing, too: he'd had more than a few beers, and couple this with a long-ass workday, and the end end result is a lanky, tattoo-scarred, shaggy-bearded fellow sprawled on your sofa. If that's what you're into, get over to the Claypole House stat. "Stat means NOW!" Cat told me today after work that she's quitting Tazza Mia; she broke the news to Bob, who didn't know what to say. And now with Rhino gone and Cat out the door, the landscape at the Tazz is changing, and it'll be interesting to see how the next month or two unfolds.

Saturday. I hit up The Anchor before grabbing Dusmesh with Andy. We hung out with Blake for a while when we got back, and then I took a short nap--a "quickie", if you will--and then ran to Kroger for snacks (all because of a sweet-toothed dream). Ginger snaps, iced molasses cookies, peanut butter crunchy granola bars, and pretzel twists. The last item didn't make it through to the next day, and none lasted past Sunday. You'll have that in a communal house like this, a good price to pay. Isaac came by, and he, Blake and Andy went to the 1215 Wine Bar that's now open (and doing super well, from what I've gathered). Amos worked there all morning, so we just played video games in the living room. Cat broke the news to him today; she's going to recommend him for the S.M. position. I hope and pray he gets it, and agree with his game-plan if he doesn't. Most everyone was in bed by 11:00, but I stayed up late hanging out with Ams, and around midnight T.J. came over after playing a show, and we drank some beers and laughed our asses off. 

Sunday. I woke to find Blake smoking hookah--"Sex on the beach!"--and I joined him, and then we got The Anchor for breakfast and talked about the millennia-old wrestling match between theism and atheism and how the conflict may never end because it's worldview pitted against worldview, and unverifiable assumptions on either side don't easily die. I spent most of the day reading, but here are gathered "adventures" (if you can call them that): Ams and I got lunch at Rock Bottom, and most of it was comped by the manager, and I got to keep my recent $25 which I intended to use today. Brandy came over for a while, and so did the soon-to-be-wed Jeff. I talked to Mandy K. for a while. It was good, lots of catching up and lots of laughter. 

the 34th week

Introducing to the hot mess that is Claypole Avenue:
Andy Waugh!

Monday. I ran late to work, thanks to being stuck behind a garbage truck on our narrow street for a solid ten-fifteen minutes. When I got out of work I had a flat tire, but the evening got better: Brandy came over, and we watched The Walking Dead and played Black Ops, and after she left Amos, Blake and I watched Super Troopers till we were wading in the night.

Valentine's Day. Anna's back to working a few days a week (and maybe even more, we'll see!), so I didn't have to go in at 7:30. I slept in and went to The Anchor for breakfast. They commented on having not seen me for quite some time, and I told them I'd been working nothing but food prep shifts for the past two months. It really cut into my pre-work Anchor rendezvous, because there's no way I'm getting up at 5:00 A.M. to do it. Amos and I got out at a decent time, and we spent the evening hanging out in the Dungeon, and Ams came home from work and Josh came over, and we all hung out in Ams' room till about midnight. Ballin' V-Day.

Wednesday. Cold and rainy for most of the day. Work went well, and I went to the library downtown and got a couple books I've been itching to read, books by philosophers and scientists such as Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Dan Dennett, and Christopher Harris. Lord of the Rings is on hold for more pressing matters. Ams was sick all day, some sort of viral bug, and I made a couple trips to the store to get her bananas, Gatorade ("Not orange, Anth. Not orange."), crackers, and applesauce: the works. She's my sister, so it's no bother. Amos and I hung out for most of the evening, and Andy joined us. They played Magic and I started reading Dawkins' "The God Delusion." Interesting, to say the least.

Thursday. I was scheduled to close, but Anna couldn't work today so I was shifted back to food prep. I trained the new guy Michael on most of the salad bar tear-down (I'm so awesome, aren't I?), and then I found Isaac passed out on our sofa when I got home. I quickly followed suit, and after my nap I went to hang out with Gabe and Emily for a bit in Northside, and then when I got back home Amos and I played Black Ops, and then I migrated to Ams' room to watch "90210" with her and Josh. Andy went to bed early, and Amos and I hung out for a while in the Dungeon before bedtime rolled around.

Friday. I enjoyed The Anchor before closing shop with Amos. Michael--the new guy--was a 'No Call, No Show.' And then Anna left early, so it was pretty crazy. Somehow we busted our asses off and got out by 6:00. We went to see Gabe and Emily for a bit at their place, and they begged us to come see their show. Not really begged, just made it clear they wanted us to come. Emily's in a band with three other girls, they're called "The Apricots," and they're playing in Rabbit Hash later this month. Cat and I--and hopefully some other people--are probably going to go. I took Amos to a friend's, and Brandy came over when I got home. She's staying at the house all weekend since she has to work (usually she goes to Bracken County); she'll be sleeping in Blake's bed. Blake, sadly, is in Bowling Green for the weekend. Brandy's awesome because she loves playing shoot-'em-up video-games, and we played Black Ops downstairs until Amos got home, at which point we played Black Ops for a solid several hours while smoking mint hookah spiked with champagne. Before bed I hung out with Ams for a while: she's all healed up!

Saturday. I went to The Anchor to meet up with Isaac, but he slept through our scheduled breakfast. No big deal: I had a book handy. Andy and I went to lunch at Dusmesh, and he went to work at Carew and I headed home and took one of those 'almost-a-regular-occurrence' 'something-furious' Indian naps. I woke groggy and ran to the bank, and I went downtown to see Andy & Ashley, and they hooked me up with an iced soy latte. It made me feel much better, but the drive back was irritating: for some reason downtown's flooded with people. It looked like downtown Manhattan. Cincinnati's the perfect city because it's never crowded, perfect for an awkward "socialite" such as myself. Amos and Brandy went to BW3s to watch the game, and I decided to stay home and do some writing. When Andy came back from work we swapped music, and when Brandy & Amos got back from watching the game, we replayed Friday night: Black Ops late into the night. We had two Joshes at the houses come 1:00 A.M., lots of drinking and shouting, and a "fight" that blew up when two people started wrestling. I played only one round of "Circle of Death" before stepping out, but by the third Amos had puked and Andy was passed out, and that wasn't even before the "fight." We smoked a bunch of cigarettes on the porch, and I called it a night super early (around 2:00 A.M.).

Sunday. I woke to a quiet house, people nursing their hangovers. I went to The Anchor and drank coffee and read for a while. I was going to go to Crossroads with Brandy & Amos, but I overshot my time at The Anchor with my nose in a book. The afternoon was spent writing: (a) updating my blog and (b) working on The Procyon Strain: Book One. I finished the last Act, just need Ams to look through it for me before revising it for the last time. Amos and Brandy returned, and we hung out in Blake's room before Brandy headed back home. Amos, Andy and I played video-games and I had leftover pizza for dinner. Amos and I watched a show on Conan O'Brien, and when Blake returned from Bowling Green, we watched Arrested Development. 

the new room

The canvas rhino on the wall really ties the room together.

"Here's my new room, Dear Reader! Drink it in!"

May it be the harbinger of joy and the spawn-point of warm memories.