Natalie (my Australian friend whom I will be spending next summer with) and I were talking about churches, and she said, "I'm not a part of a 'traditional' church."

I asked her, "What do you mean? Missional/incarnational? Emergent? Something else?"

She said, "Well, I have a home church I go to, but on Sunday mornings I'm part of a gathering at carewerx [where I'll be working next summer]. We open the doors to the community and serve them breakfast, we hang out and talk about life with them, maybe watch a video with some kind of message, and we just love on the community like Jesus would, you know?"

I asked her about her home church.

She said, "I go there to 'fill' my spiritual needs. All my deep friendships are there, we meet in honesty, and we talk with one another and pray with one another, and we worship God together." She mentioned another home church: "I'm also part of a home church called 'home brand.' It's mainly for new Christians or people who aren't Christians. We just get together, play rugby or cards, talk about life, hang out. Some of my friends and I started it."

We started talking about "The Shaping of Things to Come," because she had to read that book for one of her college classes (she is part of a college reaching out to the secular, postmodern Australian world, and their textbooks are the kinds of books Adam, Mike and I read!). She said, "The church with pews, the church as an institution, just isn't reaching people. People don't want it. At carewerx, I work with people who would never go to an institutionalized church, yet they will come to carewerx things."

I said, "The Western world is changing, and the institutionalized church is stagnant. The gospel message is alive, vibrant, and transforming, but people aren't experiencing it because no one's telling them about it. We can't just sit in our pews and wait for them to come to us. We have to be like the early Christians: we've got to go to them, show them Christ's love, show them genuine friendship, and invite them into the journey."

I've got a budget worked out for my three-month trip to Australia, so my anxieties over the money issues have gone down significantly (it will still be tight, though). I have been in contact with Heather and Natalie regarding the trip, hammering out some preliminary details. One of the details includes the flight: it should cost about $1300 round-trip, and Natalie (who is already in Australia) recommends bringing about... oh... $600 spending money; so my goal of $2000 fits in pretty well.

However, a snag has been hit.

Our date of departure is mid-May, somewhere between May 10 and May 16. My little sister's graduation is June 9; so now I have a choice: either go with everyone else to Australia and spend three months there working with the poor folk of Brisbane, or staying behind a month to go to my sister's graduation (she really wants me there). At work for the last few days, I've really been thinking about this, and I am deadset on leaving mid-May. I really feel called to this place; the idea of sitting around doing absolutely nothing for a month when I could be in Australia and working with the poor absolutely nauseates me. I want to go to Ams' graduation, but the date is so far back that it just isn't reasonable. The simple truth is, the mission's trip departs mid-May. I am a part of this mission's trip, so I am going to go with them. Amanda will not be happy, but she will get over it (that sounds so harsh!). This trip really means a lot to me, and if she were in my shoes, well, I'd let her go.

Breaking it to Ams is going to be the hard part. I know she's going to cry. She won't understand, at least not at first. She won't understand that a fire consumes me at the very thought of working with the poor in Australia. She won't understand that this is a chance of a lifetime: $2000 for a three-month trip on the other side of the world! She won't understand any of this, because she wants me at her graduation party so much. But this is the way life goes *sigh*. If the difference were only a week or two, this would not even be an issue.

A quote from "The Shaping of Things to Come":

An emerging missional church... understands its role as an underground movement, subersive, celebratory, passionate, and communal. Mission is not merely an activity of the church. It is the very heartbeat and work of God. It is in the very being of God that the basis for the missionary enterprise is found. God is a sending God, with a desire to see humankind and creation reconciled, redeemed, and healed. The missional church, then, is a sent church. It is a going church, a movement of God through his people, sent to bring healing to a broken world. (18)

On page 22, the authors--Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch--give us a glimpse of what this "missional" church looks like:

[The missional church] will place a high value on communal life, more open leadership structures, and the contribution of all the people of God. It will be radical in its attempts to embrace biblical mandates for the life of locally based faith communities without feeling as though it has to reconstruct the first-century church in every detail. We believe the missional church will be adventurous, playful, and surprising. Leonard Sweet borrowed the term "chaordic" to describe the emerging church's inclination towards chaos and improvisation within the constraints of broadly-held biblical values. It will gather for sensual-experiential-participatory worship and be deeply concerned for matters of justice-seeking and mercy-bringing. It will strive for a type of unity-in-diversity as it celebrates individual differences and values uniqueness, while also placing a high premium on community. (22)

I absolutely love this book. The missional, incarnational approach to Christianity and the Church just stirs up a passion in my heart, and the fact that these writers are wading in the secular depths of Australia (where I feel God is calling me) helps make this book nearly impossible for me to set down! One of the great fears many have regarding the missional, incarnational approach to Christianity and the Church is that relevance will be substituted for truth. Several of my friends are wary of this approach, thinking that it undermines the Message; actually, the missional, incarnational approach to Christianity and the Church has less to do with what we believe than how we live out our beliefs in the real word, in rhythm with God, one another, and in rhythm with creation. Advocates of missional, incarnational living say, "Solid doctrine is extremely important."

Last night commenced the first Southwest Gathering of "element." The participants gathered in a renovated bus garage, where we prayed through contemplative music, reflected on the vastness of God's beautiful creation, and reveled in the wonders of nature. Jeff and Adam led us in worship; Jeff said, "Creation shouts of the presence of God." Adam added, "We, as God's followers, should shout His presence by the way we live our lives." In Adam's "devotional" message, he said, "The Good News is not just about how we get into heaven when we die; it isn't a guide to 'how-to-die.' While the Good News does have to do with that, it is so much more: its message is 'how-to-live,' showing us how we are to live in this journey of ours called life."

Several stations were set up around the room, such as a scripture-reading/journaling station and a station where the participant molded clay in his or her hands as an act of worship (God is the creator, and as His "viceroys" in the world, we too, are creators). God spoke to me last night, which is always good. I am the kind of person who likes to have life figured out; I want to know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen, and how it's going to come about. Unfortunately for me, life is wild and risky and unpredictable. We don't really know if we will live to see another sunrise. In regards to the future, I am concerned about Australia: "Will I be able to raise the money?" God has told me, "Trust Me. If I want you to go to Australia, it will happen." So that's comforting.

cultivating our intimacy with God

Here is the lesson I taught this morning to the high school kids:

All throughout the scriptures, in both the Old and New Testaments, people are intimate with GOD in a real, concrete way: they feel His presence, hear His voice, and experience His involvement in their lives. Abraham, Moses, Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Samuel and David in the Old Testament experienced intimacy with GOD; Peter, John, and Paul experienced intimacy with GOD in the New Testament. An unfortunate mistake is to be under the impression that this kind of intimacy is a thing of the past. I believe that this kind of intimacy is available to us now, if we will only embrace it!

When GOD created the world, He made it so that mankind—male and female—were intimate and connected with Him. In Genesis 3.8, we have an image of GOD walking about in the Garden, mingling with mankind in a walking, talking, dynamic relationship; in the ancient Near Eastern cultures, friends would visit one another in the evening, so Genesis 3.8 shows us that—as GOD designed us—we are meant to be close, genuine friends with GOD. Because of sin, however, this intimacy and connection with GOD has been broken (in the scriptures, this is called “spiritual death”). At the cross, GOD forgives our sin so that we can now experience intimacy with Him, and we don’t have to wait till Heaven—this intimacy is available now! He has returned to us what our sin took from us: connection with Him!

When we rise from the waters of baptism, a new life of intimacy has been gifted to us. This new life is a life of connection and intimacy with GOD. Someone asks, “I’ve been baptized, so why don’t I experience this intimacy with GOD? If you’re right, how come I do not feel His presence, how come I do not hear His voice, how come I don’t experience His involvement in my life?” Some will answer, “It’s GOD’s fault: He’s hidden Himself.” I view this as a cop-out answer; we don’t like responsibility or guilt, so we tag GOD as the cause for a shortsighted intimacy. I say, “GOD does not hide Himself from us; rather, we hide ourselves from GOD.” The answer to the person’s question is, “We don’t experience this intimacy because we do not take the time to cultivate it!” GOD took the initiative in our salvation: He sought us. To us now, He says, “Seek Me, and you will find Me.” He is crying out to us, “Get to know Me more!” The responsibility of cultivating our intimacy with GOD lies with us, not the Creator; GOD invites us into a “deeper connection” with Him, but He does not force it—the decision to a “deeper connection” with GOD is up to us.

“Okay,” someone says. “I want to deepen my connection with GOD. I want to feel His presence, I want to hear His voice, I want to experience His involvement in my life. So now what do I do?” Well, there are no magic buttons, no secret formulas, and no special prayers to unlocking a deeper connection with GOD. Like any relationship, cultivating our intimacy with GOD takes time. When we experience salvation, we become friendly acquaintances with GOD—but more is possible! Throughout our lives, as we bathe in GOD’s presence and live our lives alongside Him, our intimacy deepens: the friendship and connection between us and God intensifies. In Heaven, the intimacy climaxes in what is symbolically viewed as a “heavenly wedding” between the people of GOD and GOD Himself.

The questioner protests, “But, wait, you didn’t answer my question: how do I cultivate this intimacy with GOD?” We cultivate our intimacy with GOD through spiritual disciplines. Through the scriptures, GOD has revealed to us that we can come to Him and connect with Him in what are called “spiritual disciplines.” Spiritual disciplines are simply ways we can connect with GOD. If the climax of our intimacy with GOD is a symbolic wedding, then the moments when we fall before GOD in the spiritual disciplines can be viewed as “dates”: GOD holds flowers out to us, inviting us to get to know Him more during the “courtship” of our lives. Through these disciplines, we connect with GOD, and our intimacy with Him deepens. We begin to feel GOD’s presence in our lives, we begin to hear His voice more-and-more, and we experience GOD daily as He involves Himself in our lives and in the world around us.

Someone asks, “What are some of these spiritual disciplines?” While there are many, three stick out to me in my mind: first, prayer. Prayer is when we talk to GOD and He speaks back; it is a conversational dialogue between us and GOD, like Elijah at Mt. Horeb; as our intimacy with GOD deepens, we will begin to experience and enjoy this conversational relationship. Another that I am fond of is meditation: this isn’t Buddhist monk meditation (though there’s nothing wrong with that!); this is where we meditate upon—ponder—GOD’s word and let Him speak to us through it. Another is worship; one of the Greek words for “worship,” proskuneo, can be translated, “to kiss the face of GOD.” In these disciplines, we connect with GOD and our intimacy deepens.

A hand raises up, and someone ponders, “What will happen in my life as my intimacy with GOD deepens through spending time with Him in these spiritual disciplines?” Well, we’ll begin to feel His presence, begin to feel the joy and peace and contentment that is produced just by being in His presence. We begin to hear His voice: He speaks to us, and we speak back (it is a conversational relationship!). We begin to experience Him in our lives in numerous ways, and we are transformed: just as best friends become like one another as they spend more and more time together, so we begin to take on the character of GOD as we spend more and more time with Him. We are transfigured into a people of love, a people who are selfless, serving, sacrificial, humble, kind, compassionate, caring, generous, merciful, and graceful, as well as very concerned about justice in the world. As our connection with GOD deepens, our entire lives are totally transformed—for the better!

Right now, however, our intimacy with GOD is not complete, and it will not be in this lifetime. It is but a “shadow” of what is to come at consummation; we will not experience full intimacy with GOD when we join Him in paradise. In Heaven, our intimacy with GOD is compared to a marriage: we will live in a walking, talking relationship with GOD.

GOD’s invitation is open: “Seek Me, and you will find Me!” He is crying out to people everywhere, heartbroken as they continue to turn away from Him. He wants to know us more! The choice to enjoy a wonderful, new kind of life is open to everyone now. Does one have to cultivate their intimacy with GOD in order to experience salvation? No, for this is a non-issue; yet, how many people can claim Christ as King and not want to cultivate their intimacy with GOD? May you cultivate your connection with GOD, and may you experience a totally new and wonderful and beautiful way of life!”

Wednesday night Chris, Lee, Pat D. and I drove down I-75 to Jungle Jim's, checking out all the crazy food and such. We made our way into Price Hill, down Rosemont Avenue, picked up Nate, and went out to eat at Applebee's. The laughter dripped like sweet honey. Cassie returned from Pennsylvania and Megan from Florida, so we all relaxed at their apartment and reminesced on last year. I am constantly amazed at how many college friends GOD has blessed me with; these are friendships transcending many of the friendships I experienced in high school. My friends and I walked Newport on the Levee at 2:00 in the morning, sitting down by the river and gazing at the city skyline, telling stories and jokes and talking about how far our lives have carried us since the four of us became best friends five years ago. I can remember the day I met them so vividly: I wanted Dad to take me to see the movie Signs, but he didn't want to see it; Chris, Lee, and Pat D. wanted to see it, and they said they'd go with me (they later confessed they just wanted a ride); so we went to the movie theater, and they kept saying, "We've got to hang out more, Man!" I didn't think they were serious, but the next day we went to North Park, then we went to North Park again the next day, and the next day, and the next day... So to the side are the pictures of my three friends: Lee to the high left, Pat D. below him, and Chris hogging all the space to the right. Good fellas.

For some reason, my supervisor gave me Thursday and Friday off this week, which is nice. I slept in on Thursday (which felt amazing, by the way, especially after getting up at 5:00 a.m. every morning), listened to some Todd Agnew, ate rice for lunch, and hung out with Tyler: we lit bottle rockets out back; I accidentally lit the actual rocket and, seeing it smoking, I turned and ran... right into the gas-grill, knocking it to the side as I fell over and covered myself in terror. Then the little bottle rocket sputtered and popped. Yeah, the intensity level skyrocketed. Tyler went to Kristen's house, so Dylan and I hooked up, visited the Flower Factory (he gifted me with an airosoft pistol), then we spent two hours at Starbucks in Centerville, drinking coffee and sitting outside, talking. Two people--Chuck and Nicole--joined us; I didn't know them, but they seem pretty cool. Dylan and Tyler came over, where we had an airosoft war (my cheek is torn up), followed by a campfire under the... storm clouds.

On Friday I went to the Dragons game with my cousins on my dad's side of the family. Luckily the rain held off. Afterwards I drove home drinking coffee and listening to Enya (big fan). Her music inspires me, as all good music does. My cousins on my mom's side--Jesse and Jared--came over with my aunt Teri, returning Ams home from her week in Kentucky. So we sat around all night, talking and hanging out, casual excitement with random bursts of laughter. Aunt Teri and I built a fire outside and just talked till about 2:30 in the morning.

Today I am going to my cousin's graduation party in New Carlisle, Ohio. Beforehand I hope to write my lesson for tomorrow ("Developing Our Intimacy With God"), read some of a new book I am reading--"The Shaping of Things to Come"--and read Titus. So far, "The Shaping of Things to Come" is an amazing book. It is exceptionally exciting to me, for the authors are doing what I want to do where I want to do it: planting missional-incarnational churches in Australia.

Let me tell you one thing I absolutely love about GOD: we can live lives rejecting Him, despising Him, ignoring Him, and even mocking Him with our words and lifestyles, but the moment we turn our faces to Him, fall down in repentance, and embrace Him in faith... well, our lives are transfigured. I think it's so beautiful how GOD does not hold grudges; He does not give us what we deserve. He gives us mercy, keeping what we deserve from us, and then He goes even farther, extending grace: bestowing upon us favor we do not deserve, granting us those things that we do not deserve. He is so wonderful.

We like to talk about the "new life" we have in Jesus, the "new life" that is called the God-life, the Jesus-life, the Spirit-driven life, or (as the early Christians called it) "the Way." When we look into the scriptures, seeing the teachings of Jesus and the teachings of the Apostles, when we see the way Jesus lived in His culture and in the swarms of people, we see that "the Way" is not characterized by judgment, condemnation, self-worship, hypocrisy, self-righteousness, and spiritual superiority; rather, "the Way" is a way of life founded upon Christ, a way of life that radiates selflessness, sacrifice, service to others in love, humility, kindness, compassion, care, grace, mercy, forgiveness, acceptance, friendship, justice and love. And sometimes we begin to think that this way of life is easy; we think of that statement of Jesus in Matthew 11, where he says, "If you are weary and burdened, burned out on life, come to me, and I will give you rest; for my yoke is easy and my burden is light." So Jesus himself said his "way" was easy (he called it his "yoke"), but when we try to live out this life, it seems that we are doomed to failure. What in the world was Jesus saying? It is not easy at all! The word in that verse translated "easy" can also be translated "good"; so, when we take the verse in the latter translation, we see that Jesus' way is good. There's nothing about it that is easy; in fact, throughout the rest of the gospels Jesus says, "My way is good, but it is difficult." Yes, the way of Jesus--a new way of life in a fallen world--is good, is beautiful, but it is not easy. The easy life is a life of indulgence, materialism, self-worship, selfishness, greed, and indifference; that is the easy way, and Jesus himself said that most people will live that way, but he said that his people are to live differently.

The way of Jesus is hard, but over and over and over, Jesus says that his people are to be characterized by the way; Christians are to be known not only for what they believe but also for the kind of people they are! In the early Church, what drew thousands to embrace Christ? Was it fancy preaching? No! They saw the Christians living "the Way," and they were drawn to its goodness and beauty. No one is attracted to Jesus' way because it is easier; we come and embrace Christ and his way because we see that Jesus, like the way, is so beautiful and good.

May we understand that Jesus does not just call us to a life of belief, but that he also calls us to embrace a new way of life, a life of love that is rooted in action. May we embrace Christ and embrace his way (you do not get one without the other), and may we be living examples of a new way of life in a world overcome with selfishness, greed, and indifference. May we not be deceived into thinking it is easy, but may we be inspired, seeing its beauty and goodness.

To all whom it might concern: my beliefs in the arena of Christianity are founded on scripture. If you don't believe me, let's get together sometime over coffee or something and let me show you how I interpret the word of GOD.

It's a rainy but beautiful day outside. I'm off to work now.

Saturday afternoon I went to North Park to work on my lesson for Sunday, visited Tyler at Dorothy Lane Market, bought a sumatra coffee (ohhh, so good!), went to Best Buy and Blockbuster with Ams and her boyfriend Luke (bought Constantine and Lord of War really cheap), and finally accompanied Tyler to Apex in Centerville; the speaker spoke on how Christ calls us out of a life of self-worship and to embrace a life of selflessness and servitude. Wonderful. We drank hot cocoa in the coffee shop and talked about postmodernism, the emergent church, and the social implications of the gospel. In our conversation, we agreed that one cannot read the gospels without discovering its social implications; after all, Jesus himself said that his followers will be marked by their social action! I said, "It bothers me when Christians think that the only reason they're here is to evangelize; it bothers me when they focus so much time, energy, and money into only evangelism when the world is going to hell, when 30,000 kids are dying each day of starvation, when AIDS is raping Africa, when people are suffering from the injustices of the world. We're here to evangelize, yes, but we're also here to be God's hands and feet, to make the world a better place in the name of God! Just because someone doesn't share our faith doesn't mean that we don't do all we can to help them out!" Around 10:00, Megan Hague came over, and she drank coffee and I drank some calming Tazo Tea, and we sat up in my room on my bed, talking about all kinds of stuff late into the night: our own heresies, hell (eternal torment or eternal destruction? we both believe in eternal destruction), how to understand the God of the Old Testament (with special emphasis on God's command to Joshua, "Massacre the men, women and children of the Canaanites."), we talked about homosexuality and gay marriage ("People argue for the sanctity of marriage, but I think they use it as a front just to unleash their anger and discomfort against homosexuals..."), cultural sins (such as cussing), and (one of my all-time favorites) social injustice. She is a very free-thinking, open-minded girl; she finds out what she believes and why, so I really admire her.

On Sunday morning I ate breakfast at Tim Horton's: a delicious coffee with a similarly-delicious peanut-covered donut. I looked over my lesson and made sure I knew what I would be teaching. I taught class (Ecclesiastes: Part Two) with special emphasis on the new life and new community that brings us satisfaction in a world of suffering. I felt led to include several of my "heresies": in this case, my thoughts on creation and my thoughts on hell. I explained my purpose in sharing these heresies: "I don't want you guys to flat-out believe everything I say. You guys shouldn't swallow whole everything I tell you! You need to think about these things yourself, you need to find out what you believe and why. I don't expect all of you to agree with my every opinion, and--honestly--I don't want you to. What I really want you to do is to think about these things for yourself. Don't swallow what people tell you." I confessed, "These are my opinions now, but my opinions change as more information comes to me." I shared the heresies to share my point of view, yes, but I also shared them so that they will be motivated to really consider their faith rather than just embrace it because they're told to. I'll be honest: I have more respect for atheists who know why they believe what they do than for Christians who believe everything they're told without really thinking about it! I think the atheist is wrong (obviously), but I still respect his or her decision if it's founded upon reason ("I want to do whatever I want so therefore there is no God to keep me accountable" is a pathetic reason, a mere cop-out of personal responsibility).

Last week at work I lost 5 pounds: the work is tedious, strenuous, and I go home exhausted. I love it! There is no better God-send for my weight loss journey than this job. I've also been eating a lot better (minus the donut yesterday, hah), which helps. I am hoping to lose weight and buff up, so I look better physically. 3rd Place was wonderful tonight: Mike led us into an exploration of the latest Nooma video, "Rich," focusing on how Christians are commanded by God to be a generous people in an ungenerous world. During the conversation, the issue of legalism--"I'm saved because of my good works"--came up. Mike made the observation, "We rant and rave about legalism and how we are saved by grace through faith, not works... but how many people are really crying out, 'Works saves us!' It's like we're battling an opponent who doesn't exist." I agree with him, but I believe that the legalistic mindset is a mindset that saturates our culture. We live in a culture where we earn brownie points to succeed, and culture influences our faith (this is called synchretism by people who like big words or people who want to show off); so legalism's influence on faith exists. To be honest, I experience it myself: I know it's wrong, and I don't build my theology around it, but legalism haunts the back of my mind. I often find myself thinking that if I am a better person, then I'll earn favor with God (really, favor with God is experienced through faith in His Son), or things such as that. I believe legalism is alive and well, resting in the back of our minds and whispering in our ear, though--at times--inaudible. The Judaizers just happened to blend their legalism with their faith, and thereby perverted their faith (read Paul's anger at this in his letter to the Galatians).

Ecclesiastes: Part Two

Last time we were together, we looked at the book of Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes, remember, is the speech Solomon gave before the people of Israel. In this speech, he looked out over his life and confessed his discoveries with the people he ruled over. His message, in essence, was, “You are born once, and then you die, forgotten for all eternity, returning to the dirt from whence you came. Between birth and death, you live a life of constant suffering with occasional moments of happiness. So try and enjoy yourself, but fear GOD, because one day you will be judged for the kind of life you live.” Let us remember, however, that this is Solomon’s perspective. The reason Ecclesiastes is such a hard book for a Christian to read is because it conflicts with the truths discovered in Christ; when Jesus says, “There is meaning in life,” Solomon says, “There is none.” When Christ says, “There is a purpose to life,” Solomon says, “There is none.” When Christ says, “Satisfaction can be discovered in this life,” Solomon says, “There’s no such thing as satisfaction.” Solomon’s perspective is the perspective of one without hope, the perspective of one fresh from the womb: when we enter in this world, we enter into the world of Solomon—a life of suffering with occasional moments of happiness, a life devoid of purpose and meaning, a life that is entirely depressing.

Christ offers us something so much more. He offers us hope of something better—in this life and the next.

Why is life so depressing, as Solomon discovered? The answer is found in Ecclesiastes 3.11, where Solomon says, “GOD has set eternity into the hearts of men.” GOD designed humans for a beautiful, never-ending existence; yet we live lives of suffering where we die and are forgotten. The reason for our pain, then, a pain that other animals do not experience, the reason why life is so hard and depressing and empty is this, and it’s borderline heretical: GOD made it this way. He designed us for so much more, yet we are held back from it. “GOD is a sadist,” someone says. “He is a cruel God, delighting in watching His creation suffer.” I disagree: according to the scriptures, GOD created us like this and gave us a satisfying life; we are the ones who chose to disengage from the beautiful life GOD designed for us.

Genesis 1 and 2 describes the creation of our universe, climaxing in the creation of man, mankind being GOD’s most prized and precious possession. The type of literature in the creation account, up through Genesis 11, is a special type of literature we don’t really have today. In ancient times, historians would add a sort of “prologue” to their histories, a prologue consisting of oral tales and legends. Genesis 1-11 is chocked full of these tales and legends. The reason for this “prologue” is to “set the scene” for the histories; the author of Genesis probably wrote the “prologue” to give a sense of national identity to the Israelites and to “fill in the gaps” where the absolute truth is a mystery. The “prologue” of Genesis 1-11 is not to be taken literally; for all we know, up to half of the actual events did not even take place! This is frightening to a lot of Christians, but it does not harm the Christian faith at all. The “prologue” of Genesis 1-11 is, however, much different than the other ancient prologues: it depicts a single God (Yahweh), while other prologues depict pagan gods; it shows the growing power of sin alongside the growing potency of grace; it places GOD at the center of the universe and as ruler over all things. Whether these stories are mythical tales and legends, or whether they are literal stories in history, this remains the same: GOD is God, and He created mankind to live in union with Him, one another, and with creation.

Here are my (heretical) beliefs on the subject: I believe in evolution. I believe that GOD guided evolution, and through evolution designed the universe. I believe that a mammal called homo sapien evolved, and then GOD took this creature and “breathed divinity” into it. He prized homo sapiens as the pinnacle of His creation (although woman is the pinnacle!). He took this creature endowed with the breath of divinity and placed it in the Garden. I believe the Garden of Eden symbolizes the way GOD designed us: we were designed to be connected with GOD, connected with one another, and connected with creation. This is what the scriptures call the “Glory of GOD.” As one theologian put it, “The Glory of GOD is man-alive in the Garden of Eden.” When we lived in the Garden, we lived lives of purpose, lives empty of suffering, beautiful and good and satisfying lives.

Romans 3.23 tells us, “Mankind fell from the glory of GOD.” GOD breathed divinity into us, but He did not erase the animal nature within us, a nature that is selfish, greedy, and indifferent (humanists see this as the human nature, scripture speaks of this as the sinful nature). The animal nature drew us to disobey GOD in sin, and we were cast from the “glory of GOD.” One of GOD’s enemies, Lucifer (remember the serpent in Genesis 3? The Hebrew word is nahash, which is also the word used in Ezekiel to describe the polymorph angels, or shape-shifters: the story here involves a shape-shifting angel coming to the humans, arousing their animal natures, and deceiving them into sin; there is no literal snake here!) deceived humanity and drew us into sin. When mankind let the animal nature take over, when mankind gave the thumbs-up to selfishness, greed, and indifference, mankind gave the boot to GOD. The result? We were kicked out of the Garden—we were kicked out of the “Glory of GOD,” a life of connection with GOD, one another, and creation, a life of purpose and meaning and satisfaction. We abandoned GOD’s way of life and embraced an empty, meaningless, painful existence.

We gave GOD the boot, but GOD did not completely cut us off from Him. GOD loves us—really loves us and likes us and wants to be with us—so He devised a plan. He made a covenant with the descendants of a pagan man named Abraham; yes, Abraham was a pagan, but GOD showed Him that He is the only God, and Abraham followed Him. GOD made a covenant with Abraham and His descendants, and this covenant is understood as the Law: the covenant was this: GOD says, “Fear Me, keep My commandments, and live at peace with one another.” It didn’t really work out; the people failed over and over and over. So why an old covenant? It pointed the way to a need for something grander, something greater. The “Glory of GOD” was not experienced under the old covenant, but it pointed ahead to a Messiah who would make the “Glory of GOD” a reality again.

2000 years ago, a new covenant came into being. A Jewish Rabbi named Jesus, who was born in Bethlehem and raised in Nazareth, took the scriptures under the old covenant and showed how they pointed to Him. He caused division, and the power-pushers who had leverage with the Roman government had Him executed on a cross. The cross, though cruel and wicked and evil, accomplished Jesus’ mission. Jesus’ mission is not the forgiveness of sins; it is the restoration of the “Glory of GOD,” allowing humanity to experience connection with GOD, connection with others, and connection with creation again (in the scriptures, this is called the “Kingdom of GOD”). The practical implications of the return of the “Glory of GOD” is seen in the new life people have through Christ and in the new community experienced in Christ.

The scriptures tell us that Jesus brings life to the people who embrace Him. This life is a restoration of communion with GOD: we can experience intimacy with GOD, we can live in a walking/talking relationship with Him, living life with Him, enjoying a conversational relationship with Him (sadly, a lot of Christians do not experience this intimacy because they do not take the time to cultivate it!). In this new life, not only are we able to experience connection with GOD, but we enjoy a new way of doing life. Jesus’ teachings did not reveal to us anything radically new: rather, His teachings show us what life was like before the Fall (life in the “Glory of GOD”), and Jesus says, “Live the ‘Glory of GOD’!” Life in the “Glory of GOD” is a life of selflessness, sacrifice, serving others, being humble, and being kind—the essence of love. This new life is not perfect: we are still creatures with animal natures, and we still sin, but GOD’s forgiveness through the cross enables us to experience intimacy with GOD despite our sin (though we do make an effort to repent!).

The scriptures tell us that Jesus has brought a new community to the earth, a community comprised of all the people of the earth. This community called the “Church,” and it brings back the essence of what community was like in the “Glory of GOD,” the community that GOD designed us to live in. It is a community of belonging, acceptance, love, and friendship. Sadly, disharmony is everywhere in the Church: this is because despite our slow transformation and our desire to live a life of love with everyone we come into contact with, the selfish, greedy, and indifferent animal nature still influences us.

Solomon said, “There is no satisfaction in life.” Jesus says, “There is satisfaction in life: it is found in Me!” In John 10.10, Jesus says, “The Enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but I have come to bring life, and life to the fullest!” The Enemy is evil: it steals life from us, destroys and ruins and wrecks our lives, and it kills us in every way imaginable; Jesus has a new life, a life of intimacy with GOD and intimacy with one another, and satisfaction is found in following Him and living in the kingdom of GOD, engaging this new life and new community.

Solomon said, “There is no purpose in this life,” but Jesus says, “There is a purpose.” In Matthew 28.18-20, Jesus says, “GOD authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” (the Message) Our purpose is advancing the kingdom of GOD, advancing the “Glory of GOD” through all the ends of the earth (this is called evangelism). This doesn’t just happen in church buildings or African deserts: it happens in schools, workplaces, and out on the streets, in everyday conversation, in joining people in their laughter and weeping, in friendship and laughter and love.

Jesus has said, “There is satisfaction in this life,” but yet we find that suffering still happens. If you look in the scriptures, GOD’s favorites seem to be used and abused (Isaiah was sawed in half by King Manasseh!) while GOD’s enemies flourish; yet even in their suffering, joy and life is found. The scriptures tell us that we experience this new life and new community—this kingdom of GOD—as if it were a shadow; it is now but not yet, here but not complete. One day Jesus will come back, and those who have embraced Him in the kingdom of GOD will be restored to the Garden of Eden, restored to the “Glory of GOD”: we will live lives of satisfaction, purpose, and meaning in a new universe; in this new universe, we will live good and beautiful lives in communion with GOD, one another, and with creation (Lucifer tried to screw things up, but GOD cleverly made things better again). And what about those who decided not to embrace Christ? They will suffer for their rebellion, and then when their suffering is complete, they will be destroyed, truly forgotten. Heaven and Hell are continuations of the lives we live now: if we decide life now, we will reap it now and into eternity; if we decide death (evil) now, we will reap death in this life and death in eternity.

We are flowers quickly fading, but we can experience satisfaction in this life in Christ and in His community, and we have a purpose and a meaning to life: advancing GOD’s kingdom. Solomon says, “Life is empty and meaningless.” Yes—if you are without Christ. Solomon says, “After death, there is nothing.” He is wrong: if we embrace Christ, our earthly deaths do not serve as endings, but they serve as transitions: transitions into a new universe! Yet if we disregard Christ, our deaths serve as endings: we are condemned to suffer for our rebellion, and then we will experience total destruction.

Monday night I played corn-hole at Mike's place during a community gathering for 3rd Place. Tuesday night my little sister, Tyler and I went to The Flower Factory and bought plastic yellow-and-blue flowers for my room so it would look a little more cheerful (I love flowers). Wednesday night I went down to the college campus, visiting Caleb: we watched Reno 911, some Jeff Foxworthy, hung out with Amos and Cooper in the coffee shop, and looked out at the city lights with Anna and Jobst. I told Caleb, "I miss this place, Man. It's like home to me. I feel like I'm in exile back in Springboro." Thursday night I relaxed at home after an easy day of work: we did actual labor for two hours, then sat around and talked for six (we are way ahead of schedule); we all even fit in an hour nap and made sixty bucks! Since I did not have to wake up at 5:00 am for work this morning, I stayed up late last night: Tyler and I went down to Cincy; he wanted to see my campus, and we hung out with my friend Nate (Cassie and Megan were going to hang out with us, but they were out-of-town: Cassie is at home in Pennsylvania and Megan is hitting the beach in Florida); we ate out at Applebee's and talked about GOD.

Nate is the very embodiment of the postmodern person. He is more postmodern than anyone else I know; he makes me look like a bleeding-heart fundamentalist. He ordered an Irish coffee, smoked a cigarette, and complained about racism in the Church. He is the youth minister at Vineyard West Side; his passion lies in the ghetto. We also talked about how we Christians exist to serve; I told him, "Sometimes I get a little tired of all these youth conferences where kids get together for a week, close themselves off from society, talk about GOD, then go home and continue living their lives as if nothing happened. We get so comfortable in our churchy society that we forget why we're here: to serve others." Nate is spearheading a conference called Revolution of Kindness for youth; it is a 5-day event where a bunch of kids and adults get together, pray, eat, talk about GOD, then go out and serve the community in kindness. Nate is quite the inspiration for me; like me, he's been burned by a lot of girls. We always encourage one another. A great guy.

Since the topic of evangelism has been floating around in the comments, I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Driving home last night, listening to Michael Buble, drinking pumpkin-spice coffee, and hearing Tyler snoring in the passenger seat, I had lots of time (forty minutes or so) to think about this. See, too often (I think) we see evangelism as trying to convert someone to a certain belief. We like to dodge around the word "conversion," afraid of it, but let's be honest: conversion is desired when it comes to evangelism. Have we failed if there is no conversion? No. Hopefully we've made a friend! Anyways, back to what I was thinking: when we think of conversion, it's usually to convert someone to the belief that Jesus is GOD's Son, he died and rose again, and we can experience salvation by his sacrifice. It's a conversion of a mindset; conversion happens when someone says, "Okay, I believe that." Well, as I was driving, I thought this over: "Evangelism isn't so much guiding someone to a new (or refreshed) belief, but it is about guiding someone to a new (a restored!) kind of life, a life of love and laughter and friendship and generosity." I believe the gospel brings about the kingdom of GOD for all people, and I believe the staples of the kingdom of GOD are new life in Christ and a new community in the Church. With this belief, I am beginning to see conversion as a conversion to a new way of life, founded on belief in GOD's Son. I hope that makes a decent amount of sense.

Oh, and some people were offended by the kangaroo sex picture. "Come on, Guys. Laugh a little. Stop being so afraid of nature."

Ah, my best friend and ex-roomie John Thomason. "We had lots of fun, Buddy!"

"I'm gonna miss you, Buddy." (Congrats nonetheless!)

My excursion to Australia will not be complete until I see this: kangaroo sex!!!

It doesn't get any more erotic than this, hah.

Right before communion on Sunday, Adam spoke about the 'real Jesus.' So often we forget what Jesus was really like; we envision him living in a suburban home, wearing nice clothes, shaking hands with the religious, debating politics, and condemning the worst sinners. When we look at the gospels, we see that Jesus did not fit the bill of the American posterchild: his status was that of a poor Mediterranean peasant, he wore a smelly garb and his feet stank, he pissed-off the religious, he didn't care much about politics, and he embraced in genuine friendship the "worst sinners" of society (he sincerely liked and loved everybody, regardless of their past, present, or future). Jesus was a homeless Rabbi in ancient Palestine whose best friends were the people nobody wanted. I think it's very important for us to understand Jesus as he really is, not just how we imagine him to be in our Western-World mindset (another reason I can't wait for Gospels class with Weatherly next year!).

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me

Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like my Jesus.

-- Todd Agnew, "My Jesus"

My summer has been grinding to a slow pace... The wedding is over, the Smoky Mountains vacation has passed, now it's just me and working, eating, sleeping: waiting for summer to pass by so I can continue life at Cincinnati Christian University, and then next summer head to Brisbane with Kyle and Heather. I have had lots of time to think, whether it's at home or at Starbucks or at the park or while I am working. See, there are lots of things about my life that I don't like, and I have this tendency to mope about it when, really, these are things that have happened because of the decisions I have made. In the Junior High where I occasionally work, there is a (cheesy) sign that reads, "You are the sum total of your decisions." It's cheesy, but it's true. Now, here is what I am thinking: if we can add decisions onto one another to equal the sum of who we are, can we somehow subtract with different decisions to backstep in the way our lives have been going? I think so. The truth is, there is a lot about our lives that is under our control.

I went to the Flower Factory with Tyler and Amanda; got lost in Centerville and wasted lots of gas. I bought a bunch of fake flowers to put around my room so it's happier. The blues have been visiting me; I'll get through them. I always put up a pretty good fight.

Tomorrow I am going to C.C.U. to visit my best friend Caleb. He is at school working at a summer camp. I wish I would have done the summer camp job, but I know that if Australia is the way GOD wants me to go, the summer camp job wouldn't have cut it. I am making really good money now.

It's time for me to go to bed: I have to wake up at five a.m. to go to work (boo)!

Sunday night I joined my friend Tyler for a "house church" about five, maybe ten minutes ago. The people were very welcoming, inviting, cordial, and honest. Most of the time was spent just hanging out, and for the lesson we watched and discussed the Bullhorn Nooma video with Rob Bell (I actually saw a couple "bullhorn guys" while I was in Mt. Vernon for John's wedding; they were standing on the street corner, waving condemning signs and judging people to hell). One of the discussion questions arose: "Why do you love Jesus?"

This is a question every Christian should have an answer to. If you don't have an answer... Well, that's not good.

I didn't verbally reply, but in my head I thought: "We live in such a brutal, ugly world, where we are born once, we die later, and in between is nothing but suffering with occasional moments of happiness. It's entirely depressing! I love Jesus because he offers us something so much greater: in a world where life means nothing, he offers us life with meaning, purpose, and joy. Where the world is a bad place where everyone is out to get one another, he offers us a community of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and belonging." It's nothing too theologically rich, but it's honest.

Last night, several friends and I traveled to Starbucks for some good coffee and conversation; we went to the one in Centerviille, and after we drank our coffee, we made our way to Krogers, standing beneath the awning, surrounded by all the hanging and potted plants. I told Dylan, "I feel like I'm in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon." We talked a lot about God, spirituality, that kind of stuff (nothing new), and the conversation turned to baptism. As I have been studying the Pauline epistles, my stance on baptism has been turning a new leaf. I'm not pro-baptism or no-baptism needed for salvation; rather, I say, "It is by faith that we are justified (made right in God's eyes), and it is in baptism that we are sanctified." I see baptism opening the door to the new life we can experience in Christ, while justification just gets us in the door of God's graces. So that's where I stand now.

I am beginning to realize I am a heretic. My views on the cross, salvation, heaven and hell, and the End Times are rather heretical to the people I am around. I don't think my views are wrong, I base them off of scripture, but I am a heretic because I cause division (sadly). At least I don't teach my "heresies" in class; rather, I keep them bottled up in notebooks. Hah.

I have always wanted to eat an artichoke, so I am fixing one now. Yay.

Doogie pranced around yelping when we returned; I guess he missed us. So our five-day vacation in the Smoky Mountains has come to a close. One of my fondest memories is just sitting out on the back porch, looking out over the trees, drinking coffee in the early morning hours. Two dogs visited us day-by-day, crawling up onto the deck and playing with us as the sun set. Mom and Dad went to Gatlinburg last night, so Amanda and I sat out on the back porch and just talked for about an hour; nothing more enjoyable than that! She's a great little girl (it is quite the bummer that a sickness captured her for half the vacation).

Flipping through channels last night, I decided to watch T.B.N. to see if I could find something interesting (I'm not a huge fan of the channel, but I'm not here to throw feces at it). Well, find something interesting I did. One of the guests on one of the shows was a weight-lifter wearing one of those Lord's Gym t-shirts showing Jesus carrying the cross up Calvary. He seems like a good man, very passionate and zealous, though one thing he said got me riled up: in talking about the da Vinci code, he said that all the Christians who went to see it were not true Christians. My blood pumped at his words, but when he continued on, "Why are so-called Christians going to see The Da Vinci Code? Because they have doubts. They're fake Christians!" And the crowd went wild. I just had to turn off the television. Since when did having doubts negate one's presence in the kingdom of God? I'll be honest: sometimes I doubt. I don't doubt in the resurrection or God's love for me, but sometimes I doubt in the smaller things. Does this make me someone who doesn't know God? I don't think so. This doubt doesn't drive me to abandon God, for all the doubts in the world cannot compare to the fact that I have met God, I have experienced God, I have come into contact with God. You can tell me Someone doesn't exist, but when I've met Him, I'm not going to believe you. Doubt can gnaw at me all it wants, but I've met Him, and that's enough.

So, yeah. There it is. I promised some Erwin McManus quotes, that will come sometime this week (Part Two of Ecclesiastes will be up next Sunday, I think). Good night.

I sit in a Krystal's in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, one of the only places here where I can get online (even the Starbucks don't provide wireless for me!). We rented a cabin in the mountains, secluded and quiet, where we spend our time reading, writing, and relaxing in the hot tub. I am reading The Barbarian Way by McManus (a few quotes to come up here perhaps Friday?) as well as hammering out a few pages on my Romans commentary (halfway done at 25 pages!). Several outlines for horror short stories are developing in my head; the horror genres of ghosts and vampires and werewolves have been outdated for a long time, but I am taking a fresh approach to try and reinvent them into a more... emergent context, if I can use a word out-of-context.

The mountains here are absolutely beautiful.They surround us in every direction.

I've drank more coffee this week than I have in my entire life.

Oh, and a girl I was "seeing" decided it would be best if we just stay friends. It does not bother me, even though part of me thinks it should. She is a really, really, really good girl, hard-to-find in this world, and I consider it an honor just to know her.

As they say in Dinotopia, "Breathe deep, seek peace." Sometimes I wish I were a paleontologist.

Ecclesiastes: Part One

Ecclesiastes is a wonderful, uplifting book in the Old Testament (as long as you don't actually read it). Atheists love this book and Christians try to avoid it; as a person in love with the Old Testament (especially the controversial parts!), I find it a joy to let Christians know that Ecclesiastes is a wonderful book, and I want people to understand what it's all about. The truth is, a lot of Christians don't know what to do with Ecclesiastes: it's controversial and it blatantly contradicts much of what is stated in the New Testament. This is Part One of a two-part series I am doing on the book of Ecclesiastes.

Ecclesiastes was not written in a book; rather, it is a speech inscribed on paper. In the Tanakh (the Hebrew Bible), the book's name is Qoheleth (we'll get to what this means in a second); in our Bibles, the book's name is Ecclesiastes, derived from the Greek name of the book in the Septuagint (the ancient Greek translation of the Jewish scriptures); the Greek word is Ekklesiasticus, and it means (in short) "assembly". The message of Ecclesiastes, as stated, is a speech given to the assembly of the people of Israel. These assembles were called by one of three people: priests, prophets, or kings. In this case, the assembly was called together by the king (King Solomon), and it serves three purposes for King Solomon: he is imparting his age-old wisdom to the people, he is publically repenting of his "falling away" from God, and he is warning the people, "Don't do what I did!" This speech took place in the latter days of his life, perhaps even near his death (in chapter 12, he seems to know what old life is like!).

King Solomon was the son of the Great King David and the last king to rule over the "united monarchy" of Israel (following him, Israel was divided into two sections: Israel to the north ruled by his "enemy" Jeroboam, and Judah to the south ruled by his son Rehoboam). Solomon is known for his great wisdom, which he gained by exploring all the wisdom of the world, gathering it together, pondering it, and searching out its truth (Eccl 12.9-10). Sadly, Solomon could not apply this wisdom to his own life (he was a very self-centered man). Solomon experienced true love; although he had a harem of thousands of girls, he found love with one of them and lived in an intimate dance of marriage with her (she wrote him a love poem that we know as the Song of Songs). Tragically, she died (exactly how, we don't know). This sent Solomon over the edge, and in his depression he sought out the intimacy he had lost, grabbing at all the women of his harem to the point of being lulled over by their gods, dragged into worshipping pagan gods by such grotesque acts of worship as child sacrifice. He lived a life separated from God and suffered the penalty (a divided kingdom), but at the end of his life, he repented. Ecclesiastes, I believe, is his public repentance before the people of Israel (according to ancient custom, his repentance would have to be public). This is how I interpret (in brief) the story of Solomon.

Before one reads Solomon's speech before the assembly, one must understand the conflict between inspiration and divine revelation. The truth is, not everything in the Bible is right! There's lots of bad theology! A lot of people cringe at this idea, but hear me through. Take the story of Job, for instance: if we base our theology off of Job's conversations with his friends, we have bad theology. The conversations are people talking about things way above their head and getting it wrong (much like all the theologians of today, like you and me). Ecclesiastes is Solomon's observances from life, and it is told from his perspective, not God's; it is his words, not God's. Some of the things Solomon says are blatantly heretical when compared to the rest of the scriptures and must be understood as Solomon's (faulty) understanding of life (some of Solomon's misconceptions involve his statements that man and beast are no different and all will return to the earth with no afterlife, that there are no good women n the world, the best that we can do is just have fun before we die, and that fatalism rules our lives). Once again, Ecclesiastes is Solomon's speech before the people of Israel; he is a poor, old man full of regrets, not a prophet sent by God.

The main, overriding theme of Ecclesiastes is: "Life is meaningless." All of us are meant for something quite unlike this life we live; we feel empty on this lonely planet orbiting a lonely star in a lonely part of a lonely galaxy in a lonely galaxy cluster in a lonely universe. We are designed for eternity but living in the temporal; we are meant for true life, but we do not experience it. Why don't we experience it? Because of our selfishness, greed, and indifference (sin), we have fallen from the "mold" of life that God originally planned for us (heaven is a return to this way of life in a newly-renovated universe). Solomon feels this ache in his inner being and tries to fill the ache, tries to find meaning in all the typical ways that are repeated by people throughout the world to this day.

Solomon tried to find meaning in education, but he found that (and I quote Straylight Run), "The more I learn, the more I can't understand." He finds education depressing and meaningless, and easily taken away. So many people today try to find meaning in education, spending their entire lives groping for PhDs and Masters degrees, all for the sake of being addressed as "Doctor" and being able to drive a nice car in a nice subdivision. Sadly, when we die, our education will whither and we will be forgotten. Even in this life, our education can be taken in an instant: we can spend forty years gaining infinite knowledge, but in a bad car accident, our brains can be so messed-up that our educuation vanishes.

Solomon found education meaningless, so he turned to pleasure. He found, though, that pleasure, just like education, is depressing and empty! People seeking life in pleasure are not hard to find: why are so many people enslaved to sex or alcohol or drugs (to name the "great sins" of conservative Christianity)? Why do so many people revolve their lives around seeking pleasure as long as they live? I don't know. Eventually they, like Solomon, will realize: pleasure is depressing and empty, and Solomon knew what pleasure was: he had a harem of thousands of girls at his beck-and-call.

So Solomon tried to find meaning in fame. He built a great paradise for himself (it was a hell for everyone else!); in the ancient world, the builders of great buildings were renowned: they held the royal status of fame and fortune and glory. Solomon's great construction undertaking is his grasp at fame and glory throughout all the ages of the earth. Yet he found that it did not bring him meaning and satisfaction; it was empty. People today try to find meaning in fame, ignoring what all historians know to be true: you will not be remembered, not even by your own descendants. And even if you are remembered, [gulp] no one cares.

Solomon then tried to find meaning in wisdom, in living the wise life. What he found, however, was that living a wise life was no better than living the life of a fool, for both die and return to the same place. Solomon, in his disillusionment, went so far as to say that wisdom and foolishness are brothers! These are stunning words coming from the mouth of one of the wisest men in all of human history.

Finally, Solomon tried to find meaning in his labor. He grasped at the American Dream: work day and night to build up a palace of material pleasures here on earth. This palace, however, crumbled: Solomon's nights were without rest, he knew that all his work would go into the hands of someone who could trash it all, and he did not find the satisfaction and meaning he so strongly desired.

At the beginning of life, Solomon says, there is fatalism: everyone is born, everyone lives, and everyone dies; no one is exempt. All will come, pass through, and go, to be forgotten and replaced by another. Between birth and death, one lives a life of sorrows, interspersed with the occasional moments of happiness and contentment. Solomon stood before the people of Israel, pointed at himself and his own life, and croaked in his old voice, "Look at me! I am evidence that life is meaningless and empty!"

What does Solomon advise? "The world is screwed up. Fear God and keep His commandments." Life sucks, it really does. No one can escape this. Whether you are a Christian or not, life is filled with suffering. Yet in this life, mankind has a duty, and that is to fear God in reverence and respect, and to keep His commandments (though all fail in both these regards). Solomon begs the people, "Fear God and keep His commandments, and don't wait until you're on the brink of death to do so!" Solomon spent most of his life away from God, and his greatest regret was not fearing God and keeping His commandments.

The message of Ecclesiastes is simple: "The world is screwed up and life sucks. So fear God and keep His commandments." Is life truly meaningless? Is it truly empty? These are the words of Solomon, his observations, and he is right about how much life sucks. Yes, we are here today and gone tomorrow, forgotten in the whispers of time, our names lost in history. Our accomplishments will fade, our love will disappear from remembrance, and the world will continue as if we were never here. Remember, though, that this is Solomon's perspective. Yes, life does suck! Yes, we are here today and gone tomorrow! Yes, our duty is to fear God and keep His commandments! But, no, life is not meaningless. God's words on the meaning of life are coming up in Part Two of this look at the wonderful (and depressing) book of Ecclesiastes.

The weekend was spent in Mount Vernon with one of my best friends, John: he and his fiance Julie were united in an intimate dance (marriage). John started crying when Julie began walking with her father; last night, Brian, Nick and I were with him in the Jeep, and we asked, "So are you going to cry tomorrow, Man?" "No, I'm not going to cry." We all started laughing. My awkwardness shined like a Roman candle: I didn't know how to walk my bride'smaid up the aisle, I tripped over the white runner, I spilled my drink during the toast, and I failed at trying to dance. I eventually just went outside, laughing at myself. I also got yelled at for laughing at the burnt, lopsided cake; I laughed in private, no one was there but the groomsmen and one woman, and, I'm sorry, but it was hilarious. Sorry for laughing at things that are funny. "Memories, not mistakes." I am officially the most unsuave person I know; I fail miserably at formalities. When I am a minister and doing weddings or funerals, I'm going to have to practice hard. Hah.

Jr. High and Sr. High were joined for class today, because the real youth minister was away with a retreat. We talked about Ecclesiastes, the sum of the message being: "Life sucks. Fear God and keep His commandments." It was an entirely depressing message, yes, but it is a message that is real. Life sucks a lot, we live in a fallen world, so we must just enjoy life the best we can while fearing God and keeping His commandments; this duty is for every person. A lot of the kids were depressed, but I think that it is a bad thing to live in a fantasy-world. We had so many kids, though, that it was hard to teach: I really enjoy smaller classes, anywhere from ten to twenty (not fifty to sixty!) because then the message comes off in conversation, not lecture.

Gatlinburg tomorrow: relaxation, writing, contemplating, studying (college work). Should be nice. Jacuzzi and coffee and perhaps a cigar.

a lament

GOD, come to my aide, for your servant is weary
GOD, shine your face upon me, for your servant is heartbroken.
GOD, heal the empty ache of my soul, for tears are my diet day and night.

Have You abandoned me, O LORD? Have You cast me out of Your favor?
Have You forgotten me, O LORD? Have Your thoughts passed over Your servant?
I have served You since my youth, I have ordered my life according to Your precepts.
I have obeyed the commands of Your mouth, and for Your sake have I suffered, O LORD!
O LORD, You know what it is that I desire.
The desire of my inward being does not escape You.
O LORD, I do not desire that which is an abomination to You.
No, GOD, I desire that which You wish for all Your creatures.
I feel so alone, O GOD! I feel so rejected, abandoned, forgotten, passed-over.
GOD, why do You hide joy from me? Why do You not come to my aide?
Day and night I weep and cry out to You; often my pain is unable to be put into words.
When will You shine Your face upon me? When will I taste Your deliverance?
When will You kiss my life and come through with Your promises?

GOD, I have strayed from Your ways countless times,
but in my heart I delight in You and in Your ways.
I have embraced You in faith and repentance.
When will You touch Your servant's tongue with laughter,
melt his heart to gladness,
and grant him rest?

As I weep at midnight, I place my confidence in You.
As my heart burns with sorrow, my soul whispers, "Stay with GOD! Don't quit! Stay with GOD!"
As hopelessness dwells within my bones, I hear Your voice:
"Trust in Me. Hope in Me. Wait--and watch!"
I do not put confidence in mere men, but in the all-powerful and living God,
the One who kisses me in my suffering and bathes me in His own.

I rejoice in You, Yahweh! My heart burns in ecstasy at the mention of Your name!
I rejoice in You, Yahweh! Joy floods my entire being: "I am Yours and You are mine!"
I rejoice in You, Yahweh! You smile upon me even now!
I rejoice in You, Yahweh! You are the source of my hope,
the wellspring of strength,
and my deliverer.
My soul sings, and I cry out: "Stay with GOD! Don't quit! Yes! Stay with GOD!"
I dare to believe that even in this life I shall taste of Your goodness!

One of my dreams is to plant a church; in this dream, I constantly find my thoughts turning to community. When I envision a church, I don't see a big, fancy building with stained-glass windows or velvet-carpet pews. I don't see a podium or a baptistry, I see a people, a community: a community of people passionately seeking God and His kingdom, loving Him and loving one another. I have experienced this beautiful community in Cincinnati; the floor of my dorm resembled this community: we laughed with one another, wept with one another, shared one another's joys and sorrows and struggles. We worshipped and partied and yelled at one another. We confessed our sins, our shortcoming, and helped one another out, humbly and gently and lovingly. We gathered together, broken individuals filled with sin and dirt and God, knowing we need grace and being intensely grateful for it, worshipping before the throne of the God of radical grace, seeking His will for our lives and desiring to glorify Him in all of our studies, our works, and our relationships.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer's words inspire me: "The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community [even if their intentions are ever so earnest], but the person who loves those around them will create community."