the lehman house [10]

Rachel, Sarah, and Ams at The Hoff

Monday. I worked 6-2:00, and afterwards Genna came over. We napped until about 6:00 and then made tuna for dinner. She's obsessed with tuna. She left around 8:30. As I was crawling into bed Kyle came by. We sat on the front porch and talked for about twenty minutes, good times.

Tuesday. Another 6-2:00 shift, followed by a wonderful nap. Genna came over, and we went on a drive to Eden Park, swung by the ballpark stadiums, drove past her high school, Mercy. Courtney went there, too. Back at the house we watched Little Miss Sunshine and went to bed.

Wednesday. A day off work! I spent the day writing and watched 28 Weeks Later.Genna and I got into a big fight. I'm not a fan of how much she drinks, and she flipped out. She said she won't change who she is for me. She's mad that I "waited so long" to bring it up. We've only known each other three weeks! She threatened to kill herself if I broke up with her, said she needed to know if I wanted to marry her. "We've only known each other for less than a month," I told her; "It's unfair of you to expect me to know that." She calmed down, eventually, and apologized. But threatening to kill herself? That's madness. "Manipulation," Sarah says. Even if she was honest, why would she say that? I was suicidal for a while after losing Courtney, but I didn't tell her. That would've been cruel.

Thursday. Work went by quickly. It's really not a bad job at all. The commute is what sucks: an hour all the way pasty King's Island by fifteen miles. I had a headache when I got home around 2:30, so I slept until 6:00. I met up with Genna at her place, and we went to Cancun Mexico off Glenway. Several of Genna's friends joined us, and we ended up going to the Hoffbrough House in Newport for beer and chicken dancing. 

Sarah's 27th Birthday. I woke at 9 AM, cashed my check, and ran errands: Cut-Rate Tobacco in Western Hills, Barnes & Noble near Kenwood, and then I grabbed lunch at Tri-Health while visiting Sarah for her birthday. I got a Greek pizza and some pasta. Her mom showed up and we talked for a bit. Jessie and I went to Target, then chilled at her place for a bit. Genna invited me to a family gathering, but I had lots to do around the house, and since Mom and Grandma were coming by the house, and also since I'd see her later tonight, I said, "I can't make it." She flipped out again, said she'd cut herself in the shower if I didn't come. WTF?! When Mom and Grandma arrived, I told Mom about it, and she was shocked. Sarah's cousin Rachel came over, and when Sarah got back from work, they headed to the Hoffbrough House. Mom and Grandma left, and Genna came over and we talked about the things she's been saying. Tears filled her eyes: "Do you really not want to be with me?" I told her I was trying to figure it out. She calmed down, and we joined the others in Newport. We smoked cigarettes, drank beers. I took lots of pics and we took lots of shots. I had bourbon, a "Black & Blue," a shot of tequila with salt and lime, and "Sex with an Alligator." We all got drunk, except for Ams and Genna (surprisingly). Genna and I walked around Newport in the dead of night and awash in the glow of the streetlights and neon signs. We walked by the aquarium and across the People Purle Bridge, chatting theology and Catholocism. We went back to the house and had a few shots of rum. A stray cat joined us on the front porch. Sarah, Rachel and Ams returned later in the wee hours of the morning; Rachel couldn't stop puking. Genna left, and I crawled into bed and fell asleep to the sounds of Rachel dry heaving in the bathroom.

Saturday. I dreamt about her again last night: Mandy K. I woke realizing things with Genna wouldn't work out. I ran into Professor Dyke on the way home from Kroger. I went to Kyle's to get some books, hung out with him and Karen R. and Annie Pants (Ladybug and Budward died). We talked about work and JBM and Genna. I went by Kroger, saw Jobst and Emily. When I got home, Mykaela was at the house. We watched episodes of "The Office" and dined on pizza. Work starts up again tomorrow with my pizza-slinging 10-7:30.

Sunday. Genna and I got into another big fight. It came out of nowhere, and I'd had enough. She begged me for another chance, but giving her that chance when I know it won't work out would be cruel. She got REALLY upset, and I don't blame her. She started cussing me out and insulting me. It's understandable. I talked to Dad about it. "Do you like her more or as much as you liked Courtney?" I told him No. "Do you see it working out in the long run?" Again, No. "Then you shouldn't be with her." He's right. Mom said, "She's fallen in love with the idea of a relationship, not with you." Honestly, I just want to be done with this.