Friday, February 08, 2013

slow in coming...

Posts this month have been slow in coming, I can't deny it. Between reading, modeling, playing video games, hanging out with Mo, and working, I hardly have time to post anymore. Not that I'm leaving much out: I pretty much updated you on my life in a mere sentence. Nonetheless, I feel like a few updates might be noteworthy.

Mo & I. We're back together, and it's been going good. We've talked about a lot of our differences, the compromises we need to make, etc. We're trying it out, and it can be rough at times, but relationships are like that. Perhaps my own pie-in-the-sky romanticizing of relationships has made me uncomfortable in that relationship territory where you share your life with someone to the point that it's beyond dates and conversations to the sharing of the most mundane details of life. She's a wonderful woman, and everyone agrees. For once my sister and friends approve of one of my girlfriends without it being pity approval.

Studies. I've continued plowing through colonial American history, and just this week I wrapped up a study of the 13 British colonies (the famous ones; there were others, of course, like East and West Florida, colonies in Canada, etc. at the time of the Revolution; not ALL colonies rebelled, just most of them along the eastern American seaboard). Next up is a study of the political history of the colonies up to 1754, then a study of the French & Indian War followed by a few weeks researching the ins-and-outs of those events and attitudes that led up to the Revolution. Then the really fun stuff begins: an in-depth study of the American Revolutionary War, focusing on the major campaigns, battles, and characters. I know it doesn't sound as exciting to you as it does to me, but I don't care: I'm ecstatically thrilled.

Journals. As a past-time I've been doing Weekly Recaps for all the years of this blog. It's quite simple, seeing as I have journal entries dating from long before 2004 (when I first started this blog). It's a fun little exercise, jogging memories and feelings, seeing how my life's panned out. I've been working backwards in time, starting with what I've dubbed "The Dayton Days": my time at my parents' house in Centerville between the Lehman House and Claypole Avenue. Reading through these journals, transcribing them onto this blog, has been a sort of learning experience for me; or, rather, a re-learning of sorts. To be honest, these past several months, even this past year, has been riddled with all sorts of anxieties and fears. Everything was so clear before 2012, and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces. A lot happened, to be sure, but there are a few things that stand out in my mind as catalysts for this uncertain ambiguity that's befallen my life, an ambiguity marked best by those feelings of lostness, worry, and constant fretting. It's taken a toll on me physically and mentally, and I believe I may have pinpointed the ultimate source. The future road could be hard, but it's one of those things that, I'm learning, must be done, despite the difficulties: my life is, to a certain extent, in my hands, and if I wish to recapture the joy, peace, and purpose of those former days, changes need to happen, even if those changes won't be met with hugs and smiles all around. But such is the nature of things at times.

Okay. There's a brief update for you.
Also: my USS Constitution model is coming along nicely.
"That's gonna look badass," Isaac exclaimed.
Sure, so long as I don't break it before I finish it. Time will tell.

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