A better title for this post would be "resolutions regarding dating," but I want to keep the chain in this three-part thought process alive. Thinking about all that I have written, and much that I haven't, I've made a few resolutions when it comes to dating:
Don't Be An Idiot. Just because I go out with a girl and don't feel that same feeling I felt up in Wisconsin doesn't mean the relationship won't work. Love takes time. Mumford and Sons has a song about that. Expecting love to blossom overnight is ridiculous: it didn't blossom overnight with her, I just have a tendency to remember things wrong. It's quite okay to go on a few dates and then decide not to pursue something with a girl. I do it all the time. But the reasons should be legit, not, "I'm not reminded of Wisconsin, so this just doesn't feel right." Yeah. I've got issues.
Be Proactive. (this has nothing to do with the acne cream) Tyler and I were talking the other day, and I told him that when it comes to dating, and going out with girls, I already find myself looking at things differently. My eyes are more upon their qualities and personality than upon how they look or make me feel. I've got my eye out for Red Flags (lots of experience has shown me things I absolutely do NOT want in women), but so often I let the false red flag, that of not feeling a newness of life around them, dictate whether or not the relationship moves forward. I've got to be more proactive not just in paying attention to a woman's character but also more proactive in not expecting to find my heart all aflutter and aglow in her presence and in her laughter. That takes time, and for me, perhaps, quite a lot of time.
Keep My Eyes Open. If I'm of the persuasion that when the "right person" comes along I'll find myself smitten by love and head-over-heels, wanting to sacrifice everything just to be with them, then I could be waiting for a long time. It's funny: were I to go back to 2009 and base my pursuit of the Wisconsinite off of how I felt about her in 2011, then according to my current mode of operation I'd be saying, "Well, I don't feel that way about her, so it won't work." I'd write off the Wisconsinite, not knowing that two and a half years later I'd be ready to abandon everything just to be with her. I can't expect to fall in love overnight, and I can't act like if it doesn't happen immediately, it won't. Acting this way blinds me to those wonderful women who come into my life. I need to be patient. Love needs to grow, as it did with her, and as I didn't let it do with Mo.
Don't Expect a Fairy-Tale. I know that if things would've went the way I wanted in 2011, there wouldn't have been a fairy tale. Sure, we'd have a good story, and we have a connection, and we would've been quite all right. But we would've had our shitty days, the feelings would fade, and once the honeymoon phase passed, we'd be back at the daily grind, dealing with the same things we deal with now, only not dealing with them alone. Next time a wonderful woman wants to be with me and raise a family with me, I need to make sure I don't write it off for something stupid, i.e. fairy-tale-esque expectations.
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