Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014: the last post




you saw my pain, washed out in the rain
and broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you knelt beside my hope torn apart
but the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
and we'll live a long life

so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
cause oh they gave me such a fright
but i will hold as long as you like
just promise me we'll be all right

so lead me back, turn south from that place
and close my eyes to my recent disgrace
cause you know my call, and we'll share my all
and our children come, and they will hear me roar

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

#thelittlehellion


Zoey has the best facial expressions.
I took a video to capture some of her funnier ones.
She also likes playing in kennels, and pretending to be a dog.
Here's a video of both Chloe and Zoey play-acting as canines:


Monday, December 29, 2014

postscript: Christmas '14

our annual Christmas photo

The holidays are over, and I couldn't be happier. I'm not a scrooge, but I'm not overly sentimental, either. The holidays are always hectic and I can hardly afford them. It's nice to be able to take a breather. All that aside, Christmas went pretty well. It was great seeing family, especially my extended family in Kentucky, whom I hadn't seen for about a year. I made out pretty well in Christmas gifts: some excellent candles and oil lanterns, a couple knick-knacks, and all the debt I had to my parents was forgiven. That's an excellent gift right there. Also: I got a new car!


It's a 2000 Honda Civic, a 5-speed manual transmission.
I've never driven stick before, but I'm catching on. 
"I pretend I'm flying a WW2 fighter plane," I told Ashley.
She thinks my quirkiness is cute.
Might I add how manly I feel driving a stick? Quite manly.

Grandpa and Grandma Barnhart got me several books I've been wanting: the new Civil War trilogy by Jeff Shaara, an award-winning history of the European theater in World War 2, and a book on spiritual warfare. Once I'm finished with The Challenge of Jesus, I plan on beginning the historical fiction. I figure that'll be a good breather from all the intellectually-stimulating books I've been reading as of late. Sometimes you just gotta lose yourself in a book without trying to retain information.

Also, I got a Christmas haircut.
(Ams lost her patience with my hair)
Here you can see why:

call me Big Haircut

Sunday, December 28, 2014

the 58th week


Monday. Ashley and I broke up this morning. I initiated it: I've felt so overwhelmed by everything going on, by the residual brokenness in the wake of Mandy, and I've been craving a solid footing, some balance in my life, and I thought that by severing things with Ashley, I'd find some freedom, some room to breathe, some space to work through my issues. I'll be honest: I've never wept so hard as I did when I called things off. The conversation lasted nearly an hour, and I could barely say what I wanted to say because of the tears. She was on the other end telling me that she wasn't mad, that she understood, that everything would be okay, that she'd support my decision at her expense because she wants what's best for me. I felt sick to my stomach after the conversation, and I went to The Anchor for coffee but could barely drink any. My jaw ached from sobbing, and I went by Wal-Greens for sleeping meds and Advil. I tried watching movies at home but couldn't get the conversation from my mind, and I drank a couple shots of bourbon and took the sleeping medication and lie there staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, just thinking about Ashley and the decision I made. I did to her what Mandy did to me: I let the issues overwhelm me, and I ran from Ashley to try and find balance in life. But unlike Mandy, I regretted it: because I didn't feel more balance, I just felt even more off-balance, and I realized that I had thrown away the most godly and caring woman I've ever known.

Tuesday. I didn't sleep well at last night, and I went to The Anchor this morning to try and clear my mind. I went down Route 52 to a riverside park, and I stood watching the mist on the river thinking about things. I do feel off-balance and broken, and I do want to find wholeness and healing. But the answer isn't in going it alone. Ashley has been an amazing support system, and cutting things off with her was a desperate gamble to find some peace of mind. She was willing to take me back, and so we're back together; and I'm taking my anxiety medication again. Hopefully I'll be able to endure the queasiness. I went up to her house and Chloe greeted me at the door. "Mom was crying all day yesterday, and your sister came here too!" Luckily Chloe didn't know what was going on. Ashley came down the steps, and we just held one another. I didn't want to look go. I looked at her face and never saw her as beautiful as I did then, and her kisses never tasted sweeter. I held her close to me and Chloe kept badgering us--"Why're you guys acting so weird?" and "Mom, are you crying again?"--but neither of us were bothered by it. We left the girls inside and went out onto the back porch, and I told her how it was so awful being separated from her even for 24 hours, how if she's an answer to my prayers, I don't want to jeopardize it, and how I want us to work through these things. She told me she didn't hold yesterday against me, that she wasn't mad, that she just wanted to hold me and help me through the issues and fears that plague me. "All she wants to do is love you and be there for you," Ams said; "She's pretty awesome." Ams is right.

Christmas Eve. After writing at The Anchor, I went up to West Chester and spent the afternoon with Ashley. We sat on the sofa and drank hot chocolate as the winds wailed against the windows, and we talked a lot about how I've been feeling much better since Monday. I told her the break-up and my onslaught of tears was a bit cathartic, and Blake told me how sometimes you can agonize over a decision, make the decision, and only then do you know it was the wrong decision. "Throwing away one of the brightest spots in my life in a gamble to reclaim balance isn't an optimal route," I told him. I told Ashley how I expected, after breaking up with her, to have to face the "Mandy demons" all over again; what surprised me was how Mandy didn't even cross my mind. All I could think about was Ashley, and it helped me see how much I care for her and want her to be a part of my life. "We want to be a part of your life, too," she said (referring to her and the girls). I bid her farewell and headed up to Dayton to celebrate Christmas with Mom, Dad, and Ams. We had dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse (I had a full rack of ribs, a side salad, and french fries paired with a Sam Adams seasonal). Back home we opened presents, and I got some pretty cool things, not least of all a letter telling me all my debt to them has been forgiven! "That's a $1000 gift right there!"

Christmas Day. I woke at 7 AM in Dayton and went to Speedway for coffee. I was going to do some writing but realized I'd left my net-book charger in Blue Ash. I ran by their house to get it, and by the time I got home Mom had breakfast ready: bacon, eggs, sausage, and butter croissants. Ams cut my hair, and she and Mom went to see a movie. Dad and I loaded into the Honda Civic and took it for a spin at the high school and along country roads. It was my first time driving a stick shift; it's fun, and I only stalled it out once! My evening was spent hanging out with Ashley and her family for Christmas. Her sister kept making jokes about me breaking up with her; that's just how her family is, and they've been very welcoming. Her dad even wanted me to get in the picture, but I decided not to, and did so in a way that didn't come off as awkward. After Christmas festivities, Ashley and I went over to her sister Rachel's house to hang out with her and her brother Nathan, who moved in there last week. We hung out in Nathan's room, and I took some pictures, and I told Ashley, "I just want to capture this moment," because I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment there with her and the girls and her brother and sister. I bid them all farewell and headed back to the Hobbit Hole thankful that I have a woman as wonderful as Ashley to call my own.

Friday. A busy day: I went to The Anchor for coffee and writing and spent the afternoon at Winton Ridge hanging out with John & Brandy, and Amos & Andy. I headed up the highway to hang out with Ams, and we ordered Penn Station and watched episodes of Friends. Come nightfall I headed over to Ashley's, and we put the girls in bed and went to let out her friend's dogs (they're on vacation in Tennessee), and we headed back home and she watched episodes of Sons of Anarchy and  she scratched my head and I fell asleep for two hours. "You snored SO loud," she said, laughing.

Saturday. Jessie, Tony and I met up at The Anchor for breakfast and coffee, and then I headed up to Mom & Dad's to drive the stick-shift to Christmas in New Carlisle. Ams served as my co-pilot, and she said it seemed as if I'd been driving stick forever. "When I tried to learn, I kept stalling it out and had to stop because I couldn't stop crying." Lunch was served at Grandma and Grandpa's, and we celebrated Hannah's engagement. I left early and rendezvoued with Ashley at the Hobbit Hole for an evening of oil lanterns, candles, laughter and conversation, and a trip to UDF just to act all manly in the stick-shift. "You literally can't stop smiling as you change gears," she said. "It's so cute!"

Sunday. I began the morning with coffee and writing at The Anchor and then headed to West Chester to spend the afternoon hanging out with Ashley, the girls, and Ams. I headed up to Mom & Dad's come evening to tinker on the Civic and enjoy chicken & dumplings paired with Criminal Minds. My night ended with an 8-Midnight shift in Blue Ash and a quiet drive home.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

"Life After Death"

In Chapter One, D'Souza lays out his assumptions. He assumes that there is a possibility, even a probability, of life after death. His assumption runs against the grain of a popular assumption in western society that makes any spiritual, immaterial, or subjective claims nothing short of comic fodder: that of reductive materialism. He defines reductive materialism as "the philosophical position that material reality is the only reality. Materialists hold that there is only one kind of stuff that exists--material stuff. We know this because material objects are objective: their existence can be verified by the techniques of science. Even human beings and other living creatures are ultimately collections of atoms and molecules, or if we break these down further, of quarks and electrons... Reductive materialists don't deny that there are subjective or immaterial experiences and entities. They insist, however, that upon examination those are caused by and are expressing purely material forces." (10) A good portion of his book focuses on this prevalent philosophy, because those who hold it simply cannot believe in life after death. As D'Souza puts it, "It is easy to see why such a philosophy leaves no room for claims that there is a reality that lies outside sense perception and outside the reach of modern science. If reductive materialism is true, then belief in an immaterial God is a fiction and life after death is impossible." (11) D'Souza isn't a reductive materialist, and throughout the book he makes excellent arguments against the belief that the material (i.e. physical) world is all that exists. Such a philosophy assumes that all that exists is what science can measure; it assumes that science covers all the bases of reality; it assumes that if scientific instruments cannot detect it, then it's hogwash. This assumption, in D'Souza's mind, is the pinnacle of arrogance: such claims cannot be verified, and reductive materialism faces a mounting host of problems philosophically and (believe it or not) scientifically. As D'Souza presents his case for the plausibility and probability of life after death, he will take shots at the chinks in the armor of reductive materialism.

In Chapter Two, D'Souza examines the claims of the reductive materialist regarding life after death. It basically goes like this: "Science hasn't shown us that there is life after death. Therefore, there must not be life after death." D'Souza argues that such thinking overdraws the reach of science. Science is tailored to tell us about the objective, material, and measurable aspects of our world; science has nothing to say about the spiritual, immaterial, or subjective realities of our world. Many scientists recognize this and testify to the fact that science does not address every avenue of reality. Others, particularly those endowed with the philosophy of reductive materialism, believe science addresses every aspect of reality because they assume that the objective, material, and measurable aspects of our world are all that exist. D'Souza says, "The atheist has no better proof that there isn't life after death than the believer has that there is. Both groups are claiming knowledge that neither group actually possesses. For the atheist, no less than for the believer, it is entirely a matter of faith." (22) The believer in life after death doesn't have proof; nor does the atheist who denies it. D'Souza relates the infamous story of the Russian cosmonaut who went up into space and claimed he didn't see God. The story has become apocryphal, expressing the atmosphere of those scientists whose probing hasn't revealed God. D'Souza finds this laughable; as he puts it, "Imagine poor Hamlet running around the castle saying, 'I've looked everywhere, and I can't find Shakespeare. I'm forced to conclude that Shakespeare doesn't exist." (24) This chapter has less to do with about the existence (or non-existence) of life after death and more to do with highlighting the arrogant assumptions within reductive materialism. So long as reductive materialism is embraced, regardless of its arrogance and inability to prove its claims, there can be no real dialogue about the possibility of life after death.

In Chapter Three, D'Souza looks at the universal conviction that there is life after death. He surveys the major world religions, both of Western and Eastern origin. He discusses Judaism and the rise of afterlife beliefs, highlighting that these beliefs arose not so that the Jews could have a "happy home" when they died but so that God Himself would be vindicated. He examines Christianity and how Platonism has affected Western conceptions of the afterlife. He then looks at Hinduism and Buddhism, exploring their eastern conceptions of Nirvana and reincarnation. "The universality of belief in an afterlife is astonishing, because life after death is not one of those empirically obvious beliefs that one would expect every society from the dawn of mankind to share. No one is surprised at the universal belief in mountains or rainstorms or animals, because such things are undeniably present to our senses. But it is an entirely different matter when all cultures in history right down to the present jointly proclaim a proposition that seems impossible to confirm through experience." (40)

In Chapter Four, D'Souza examines NDEs (or Near-Death Experiences). Most of these experiences are good, but others are bad. NDEs show the same features across time and cultures. Those who report NDEs tend to have their lives changed for the better: they become gentler, more loving people who are unafraid of death. Many are even sad that they returned to their bodies! D'Souza examines the nature of NDEs and then tackles the biggest scientific explanations: perhaps NDEs reflect a distorted brain state or is simply what happens when the brain begins to die. But as D'Souza notes, "[Nothing] in the dying brain hypothesis accounts for how clinically dead people seem to know things that are apparently out of the range of their perceptual capacities." (72) Furthermore, studies on NDEs have shown that a good number of those who experience NDEs do so when their brains are clinically dead: the brains show absolutely no activity, but yet the people experience things, hear voices, hold conversations with deceased loved ones, and can even recount things that're happening outside the bounds of their sensory perceptions. The scientific explanations for NDEs simply cannot account for this, and reductive materialism is at an impasse. If the brain and brain states are all there is, there simply cannot be any experience if the brain is dead or not working. This isn't the case with a good number of NDEs, and scientists are baffled. D'Souza writes, "[NDEs] do suggest that consciousness can and sometimes does survive death" but adds a disclaimer: "Since only some people have NDEs, it is possible that only some people's consciousness survives their death. Also, the fact of some sort of out-of-body survival in these cases tells us very little about what the afterlife is really like. By definition no one has reported a near death experience that fully crossed that barrier from this life to the next. Finally, 'survival' is not the same thing as 'immortality,' because theoretically we could survive our deaths and still lose our consciousness shortly thereafter." (72) As an aside, D'Souza points out that one of the two major groups that attack NDEs are evangelical Christians; the reason is because people of all moral calibers and religions experience good NDEs, and according to preconceived notions within the Christian worldview, this shouldn't be the case.

In Chapter Five, D’Souza examines the landscape of modern physics, showing how science itself has made belief in alternate realms—such as heaven and hell, or their equivalents—not only possible but feasible. He begins by laying out the premise of reductive materialism: “The behavior of matter is lawful, and the laws are known to scientists today. Given the recognized qualities of matter, our chances for life after death are nil, since human bodies break down and disintegrate. More-over, atheists say, the religious concept of eternity presumes the existence of exotic locales like heaven and hell. The problem is that we live in a physical universe, and these alternative realms seem to exist nowhere, or perhaps only in the imagination of the devout. Consequently it is simply ridiculous to think that humans can continue to live their lives beyond their deaths.” (73-74) After a lengthy treatment of the evolution of modern physics, he writes about quantum mechanics and string theory, multiple dimensions, dark energy, and dark matter. String Theory seeks to unify Einsteinian relativity with quantum mechanics. “[Reality] is divided not into four but rather eleven dimensions, ten of space and one of time.” These other dimensions are hidden, “somehow positioned so that they are invisible and inaccessible to us.” (78) String theory opens the door to alternate dimensions that could be the “exotic locales” of heaven and hell. “[If] space, time, and the laws of physics are local to our universe, any realms beyond our universe—if such realms exist—could operate independently of our conceptions of space and time, or without space and time altogether. Now suddenly we see the coherence of the Christian concept of eternity, a realm beyond space and time and the known laws of science.” He adds as a disclaimer, “This is not to say that these other realms beyond space, time, and the laws of science exist, but it is to say that, without the understanding of modern physics, they are possible.” (82) D’Souza then looks at the Big Bang and the Anthropic Principle (the fine-tuning of the universe). “Basically we are in a fine-tuned universe, which looks like it was tuned by a creator, but science can’t really admit the obvious, and so scientists have to posit many universes that they have no evidence for in order to explain why we have the one fine-tuned universe we do inhabit.” (87) One way physicists have tried to get out from under the rug of the anthropic principle is by postulating a multiverse, so that our universe with all its “fine-tuned constants” is just one of a limitless number of universes. There’s absolutely zero evidence for this, but the multiverse theory has gained ground because it does away with the need for a fine-tuner; it does away with the need to explain why our universe is the way it is. He quotes cosmologist Bernard Carr, “If there is only one universe, you might have to have a fine-tuner. If you don’t want God, you’d better have a multiverse.” But as physicist Steven Barr noted, “the God hypothesis is quite consistent with the possibility of multiple universes.” (87) D’Souza’s main thrust in this chapter is that “Atheists can no longer ridicule as unscientific the idea of eternal places beyond time, or of invisible matter that isn’t like our matter, or of realms that have their own laws and their own modes of being.” (88) He continues, “Modern physics has expanded our horizons and shown how life after death is possible within an existing framework of physical reality. The materialist objection has proven to be a dud; in fact, modern physics calls materialism itself into question.” (89)

In Chapter Six, D’Souza looks at evolutionary biology to make the argument that we see an uneniable teleology. As he summarizes in the last chapter, “Modern biology shows an evolutionary transition from matter to mind that does not seem random or accidental but rather built into the script of nature. This natural teleology from nonliving matter to living things to contemplative minds is a vital clue that nature progresses from the material to the immaterial, and from the perishable to the imperishable, so too may we. Like nature itself, we may be in a natural transition from living beings made up of matter to minds that are not subject to the limitations of matter.” (220)

In Chapter Seven, D’Souza examines the riddles of the human mind. Reductive materialists reject dualism, the concept that the brain and the mind are distinct, quoting neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran, who declares that “All the richness of our mental life—all our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts, our ambitions, our love lives, our religious sentiments, and even what each of us regards as his or her own intimate private self—is simply the activity of these little specks of jelly in our heads, in our brains. There is nothing else.” (110) An unnamed Dutch physiologist put it succinctly: “[The] brain secretes thoughts as the kidney secretes urine.” (111) The premise of reductive materialism demands that dualism be rejected, and arguments to explain the mind as a physiological attribute have arisen. Despite evidence to the contrary, which D’Souza shows, reductive materialists argue that the mind is the brain, or that brain states are equivalent to the mind. Another argument is that the mind is a by-product of the brain; “This means that the mind is a kind of shadow that rides alongside the brain. The brain produces the mind in the same way that fire produces smoke.” (115) D’Souza, upholding a dualist approach to the mind and the brain, argues that the brain is a transmitting organ. This idea isn’t original to him. “We cannot assume that brain states cause mental activity, because there is a second possibility. This is that the brain is a kind of gateway or receiver for the mind. William James, the founder of modern psychology, explored this idea… [He] argued that the brain serves not as a causal but as a transmission vehicle for the mind. Just as a prism or a lens allows light to pass, just as the keys of an organ channel wind and air in various ways, so the brain is an apparatus for channeling feelings and thoughts. Sure, James conceded, when the human brain dies, those feelings and thoughts, and their underlying consciousness, can no longer be expressed in that way. ‘But the sphere of being that supplied the consciousness would still be intact.’… [He] hypothesized the existence of a cosmic immaterial realm that, even while we are alive, supplies consciousness through our brains. When our brains die, this consciousness goes on, not because it enjoys life after death, but because it never died in the first place. We perish, but our consciousness endures, perhaps all by itself, perhaps in other instantiations. There is nothing in science, [he] argued, that undermines this alternative possibility.” (113-114) By way of an analogy, D’Souza expresses this idea: “If I want to listen to Mozart, I need my radio or CD player. Without them, I couldn’t listen to a particular Mozart symphony. Destroy the player, and Mozart stops playing. But does it follow that the radio or CD causes the music itself? Of course not. These are merely instruments for the expression of sound waves.” (113) He rounds out the chapter emphatically stating, “The best evidence of contemporary neuroscience is that the mind cannot be equated with the brain, and while deterioration of the brain might impede the operation of the mind, the two are separate, which makes it possible that our immaterial minds and consciousness might survive the termination of our physical frames.” (125)

In Chapter Eight, D’Souza builds upon the previous chapter and embraces James’ “transmission” theory regarding consciousness: in short, the body and brain is a transmissive organ for the human consciousness, which is not derived from material processes. D’Souza examines a handful of the most prominent materialist approaches to human consciousness and destroys them piecemeal. He advocates James’ approach to human consciousness: “[A] central feature of our identity and humanity operates outside the recognized physical laws of nature. One of those laws is, of course, mortality for all living bodies. But consciousness is not part of the body. Nor is consciousness ‘in’ the body in the same way that nerves or neurons are. Consciousness merely comes with the body and operates through the body. The body serves as a kind of receiver and transmitter for consciousness, not its author or manufacturer. What William James termed the ‘transmissive’ doctrine of consciousness, in which our individual consciousness is derived from and dependent on an outer cosmic source, now seems far more plausible than the materialist alternative.” (136-137) Science cannot account for consciousness and free will, so that D’Souza can write, “[Two] central features of human nature—consciousness and free will—that are irreducible to matter and appear to be independent from it. Even more remarkable, consciousness and free will have no natural explanation and seem to function beyond the bounds of physical law. Things that are defined by physical law, such as human bodies and human brains, are perishable or destructible. Consciousness and free will, unbound by those constraints, are not. Moreover, consciousness and free will are the defining features of the human soul, which requires awareness and choice in order to discriminate between right and wrong. The implication is that whatever happens to our bodies and brains after death, our souls live on.” (143-144)

In Chapter Nine, D’Souza looks at philosophy and deconstructs the arrogance of empirical realism, differentiating between perception and reality. Examining popular philosophers, D’Souza focuses on the German philosopher Schopenhauer who made the distinction between the noumenon (the world as it is) and the phenomenon (the world as we perceive it). “Schopenhauer says that if the self is nonumenal and the noumenal is undifferentiated, that means that whatever our phenomenal differences, we humans are, in the ultimate ground of our being, one. Perhaps at some level, [he] suggests, we recognize this. And this explains compassion, the ability of people to identify with each other, share each other’s pain, and help even when it involves some cost or sacrifice. [His] doctrine of a universal human connection implies that if we hurt each other we are, whether we realize it or not, hurting ourselves. One fascinating feature of this argument is that whether or not it is true, humans certainly on many occasions act as if it were true.” (160-161) Thus, “[Fear] of death is itself an illusion because the real or noumenal part of us cannot die. So far from denying the afterlife, Schopenhauer affirms it. ‘Your real being knows neither time, nor beginning, nor end… Your immortal part is indestructible.’ In other words, at death we are fully integrated into the realm of the noumenal from which we originally came. For [him], a pessimist about life in this world, death is a kind of liberation, a discarding of the veil of phenomenal existence and a discovery of our true oneness with each other and with infinite reality itself. When we die, our separateness is over and we live on as part of the absolute reality that is the only reality there is.” (162)

In Chapter Ten, D’Souza argues that the existence of morality presupposes some cosmic justice and, perhaps, some cosmic realm that lies beyond our material frames. He begins by defining his terms: “[Morality is] the voice within, the interior source that Adam Smith called the ‘impartial spectator.’ Morality in this sense is an uncoercive but authoritative judge. It has no power to compel us, but it speaks with unquestioned authority… Even people who most flagrantly repudiate morality—say a chronic liar or a rapacious thief—inevitably respond to detection with excuses and rationalizations… Morality supplies a universal criterion or standard even though this standard is almost universally violated.” (172) On pages 166-167, D’Souza states the problem that morality poses for reductive materialists: “Unlike material objects and all other living creatures, we humans inhabit two domains: the way things are, and the way things ought to be. We are moral animals who recognize that just as there are natural laws that govern every object in the universe, there are also moral laws that govern the behavior of one special object in the universe, namely us. While the universe is externally moved by ‘facts,’ we are internally moved also by ‘values.’ Yet these values defy natural and scientific explanation because physical laws, as discovered by science, concern only the way things are and not the way they ought to be. Moreover, the essence of morality is to curtail and to contradict the powerful engine of human self-interest, giving morality and undeniable anti-evolutionary thrust.” (166-167) To put it another way, “Evolution is descriptive: it says how we do behave. Morality is prescriptive: it says how we should behave. And beyond this, evolutionary theory appears to run in the opposite direction from moral behavior. Evolution implies that we are selfish creatures who seek to survive and reproduce in the world. Indeed we are, but we are also unselfish creatures who seek the welfare of others, sometimes in preference to our own. We are participants in the game of life, understandably partial to our own welfare, while morality stands aloof, taking the impartial or ‘God’s eye’ view, directing us to act for the good of others. In sum, while evolution provides a descriptive account of human self-interest, morality provides a standard of human behavior that frequently operates against self-interest.” (172-173) Reductive materialists have sought to answer for this in a variety of theories: Darwin’s “Group Selection,” kin selection, altruism as genetic selfishness, the presence of morality to enhance one’s reputation, and reciprocal altruism. None can explain the existence of morality or why we feel we ought to behave morally, even when we run in the opposite direction. D’Souza argues that “the presupposition of cosmic justice, achieved not in this life but in another life beyond the grave, is by far the best and in some respects the only explanation [for the existence of moral values that stand athwart our animal nature]. This presupposition fully explains why humans continue to espouse goodness and justice even when the world is evil and unjust.” (167) He continues, “Now let’s make the supposition that there is cosmic justice after death and ask, does this help to explain the great mystery of human morality? It seems clear that it does. Humans recognize that there is no ultimate goodness and justice in this world, but they continue to uphold these ideals. In their interior conscience, humans judge themselves not by the standard of the shrewd self-aggrandizer but by that of the impartial spectator. We admire the good man, even when he comes to a bad end, and revile the successful scoundrel who got away with it. Evolutionary theories predict the reverse: if morality were merely a product of crafty and successful calculation, we should cherish crafty schemers and aspire to be like them. But we don’t. Rather, we act as if there is a moral law to which we are accountable. We are judged by our consciences as if there is an ultimate tribunal in which our actions will be pronounced ‘guilty’ or ‘not guilty.’ There seems to be no reason for us to hold these standards and measure our life against them if the standards aren’t legislative in some sense. But if they are legislative, then their jurisdiction must be in another world since it is clearly not in this world. So the presupposition of cosmic justice, in an existence beyond this one, makes sense of human moral standards and moral obligation in a way that evolutionary theories cannot.” (180-181) D’Souza sees us as having one foot in two different worlds: “We humans—atheists no less than religious believers—inhabit two worlds. The first is the evolutionary world; let’s call this Realm A. Then there is the next world; let’s call this Realm B. The remarkable fact is that we, who live in Realm A, nevertheless have the standards of Realm B built into our natures. This is the voice of morality, which makes us dissatisfied with our selfish natures and continually hopeful that we can rise above them… [Morality] cannot coerce us because it is the legislative standard of another world; at the same time, it is inescapable and authoritative for us because our actions in this world will be finally and unavoidably adjudicated in the other world.” (182)

In Chapters Eleven and Twelve, D’Souza looks at how belief in an afterlife is both good for society and good for our personal lives. There’s a lot of great material here, more geared towards refuting those who advocate the idea that religion (or faith) is bad for us; what it says in regards to the existence of life after death is virtually nil. Here I can’t help but agree with Richard Dawkins, who declares that these issues—whether belief in God, morality, or life after death is helpful—are irrelevant. Dawkins argues that whether or not a belief is “good” for us has no bearing whatsoever on the truthfulness of the belief. Of course, Dawkins can write about the “badness” of religion and faith and act as if it has any bearing whatsoever on the truth, and in so doing commits the fallacy he opposes; but that point’s neither here nor there. In Chapter Thirteen, D’Souza squeezes in a chapter on the resurrection of Jesus, making an argument for its historicity (following the arguments given by N.T. Wright in “The Resurrection of the Son of God”).

My take on this book? It’s damned good, at least until the last three chapters. I say this only because D’Souza’s thesis is to look at the plausibility of life after death from a scientific, psychological, and philosophical point-of-view. The last three chapters come as add-ons; chapters eleven and twelve say nothing regarding the plausibility of life after death, and chapter thirteen just feels awkward. I understand why he put it in there, since he’s a Christian, but I have to be honest: I feel it detracts from the book as a whole, even though I agree with his conclusions.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

#appropriate

I've been working on the revision of Dwellers of the Night: The Church of 89 Steps, and I came across a little dialogue that feels appropriate. The formatting may be a little weird because of the transfer from the writing tablet to the blog, but nonetheless...

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Mark and the Man stepped out of the cold and went down to the basement. Only a few people were up and moving around this early in the morning. 

The Man poured a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette. 

“You’re not supposed to smoke down here,” Mark said. 

The Man didn’t seem fazed. “See that woman over there? What’s her name? Nancy? The nurse? Look at her. She’s complacent. She’s become numb to everything. This church has become her home, and this place breeds complacency. People are becoming content—or at least resigned.” 

“I don’t think forming a community and helping each other out during the crisis is the same thing as resignation.” 

“You would think that. Always so damned optimistic.” 

One of the doors opened and the newlyweds entered, Rachel clinging to Adrian’s arm. 

“You need an example?” the Man said. “There’s a prime one, those two.” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“Their marriage is ignorance. How long do you think they’ll last?” 

“No one’s here to sign divorce papers. I think they’ll last.” 

“Not the marriage. Themselves. How long until they die?” 

“You can’t think like that,” Mark said. 

“I’m only thinking realistically. Keeping a level head.” 

“You’re just pissed because it’s not you and Kira walking arm-in-arm.” 

“That’s psychoanalytic bullshit.” 

“I saw how you got up and left during the wedding.” 

“I felt sick.” 

“Sick to your stomach. You hate the fact that they can be happy when you can’t. You and Kira were supposed to get married, but she was taken from you. And you hate that two other people can experience the love that you and Kira had and that they can experience the marriage the two of you were never able to have.” 

The Man didn’t say anything, just smoked his cigarette. 

“You need to move on,” Mark said. “It’s about time someone told you that.” 

“And you’re the one to bear that burden? You’ve been pining about Cara since the day I saved your ass.” 

“I missed her. And I still do. But she’s gone. I’ve dealt with. Have you?” 

Someone across the room told the Man to stop smoking. 

He rolled his eyes and extinguished the cigarette against his jeans. “I’m not going to forget about her. I’m not going to treat the love we had like shit by forgetting about her.” 

“Letting go doesn’t mean you have to stop loving her. It just means you have to accept that there are some things that cannot be. And I’m sorry, but Kira is gone. What you two had, what you two were going to have, the dreams you had with one another… None of that’s ever going to be, and you need to accept that. I mean, Jesus, you complain about people being so complacent with their heads up their asses that they’re going to get us killed, but you’ve got your head so far up your own ass in grief over Kira that you’re no better than anyone else.”

Monday, December 22, 2014

the 57th week

Monday. I woke to find my car dead yet again (left the lights on...). Ashley came down and gave me a jump, and we hung out at the Hobbit Hole until she had to leave to greet Chloe after school. I went to The Anchor again to do some writing, and I spent the evening hanging out with Ashley, the girls, and Ams at her place. Ashley and I have been watching through the second season of American Horror Story. I'm loving it. Come evening I was back in the Hobbit Hole, and I started reading Philip Yancey's What's so Amazing about Grace? It's a phenomenal book so far.

Tuesday. After breakfast at The Anchor, I met up with Ashley at her place before my 2-8:30 shift in Blue Ash. Ben's mom came over to light the menorah and say the blessings in celebration of Hanukkah. Ben was in a pretty sour mood: he and Jason got into a fight this morning, so Ben decided he was going to cancel Jason's birthday party this Friday. Needless to say, he doesn't have that authority, and he's upset that he doesn't. I spent the evening reading at the Hobbit Hole and finished Yancey's What's so Amazing about Grace? I'm trying to knock out some smaller books before getting invested in Wright's prominent works on Jesus. Next up on the list is Running with Horses by Eugene Peterson and Life After Death by an Indian scholar whose name I can never remember. 

Wednesday. I did some writing at The Anchor before meeting up with Ashley before my 3-7:00 with Jason. Ashley and I did some aerobics; it's getting a little too cold to run outside. She made a delicious stir-fry lunch with Asian vegetables. I was home by 7:30 and spent the evening relaxing with candles, GTA5, and Running with Horses.

Thursday. I went to The Anchor for coffee and reading before working 8:30-4:00 in Blue Ash. I spent the evening at home drinking vodka and watching 3:10 to Yuma. An excellent western, though it's no Tombstone

FridayAfter coffee and reading at The Anchor, I headed up to West Chester to spend the afternoon with Ashley: we drank coffee, made vegetable wraps, and watched episodes of American Horror Story. From there I headed down to Lexington, reaching Jared & Ashley's by 6:30. I picked up Penn Station for dinner, and we drank bourbon and caught up on life for a couple hours. We headed over to Aunt Teri & Uncle Bill's to pick up Eric and Alex who came in from Georgia. We ferried them back to Jared's, and Jared made a fire and we drank whiskey and beer and were up until super late laughing and swapping stories.

Saturday. Jared made coffee and cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and Ams and I went to Wal-Mart to shop for our Secret Santas. We swung by Starbucks for drinks, and then we met up with everyone over at Jesse & Mandy's house. I was only able to stay for a couple hours since I had to work in Blue Ash. I left there around 3:00 and was in Cincinnati by 5:00. Today was Jason's birthday, and he tempted me with cake and ice cream. Ben went out with Drew, and both of them were in bed by 10:30. I talked to Ashley, celebrating our 2-Month, and then I passed out in the Staff Room.

Sunday. Chloe and Zoey spent the day with their grandparents, so Ashley and I had a date at TGI Fridays. Ben's mom gave me a $25 gift card for Christmas, and we spent every penny. She had a rough day, so we went back to my place and napped until she had to go pick up the girls. I spent some time journaling at The Anchor and rounded out the evening hanging out with Ams at her apartment by Jungle Jim's.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

"What's so Amazing about Grace?" (III)

"There is thus clearly a sense in which the message of "justification by faith only" can be dangerous, and likewise with the message that salvation is entirely of grace... I would say to all preachers: If your preaching of salvation has not been misunderstood in that way, then you had better examine your sermons again, and you had better make sure that you really are preaching the salvation that is offered in the New Testament to the ungodly, to the sinner, to those who are enemies of God. There is this kind of dangerous element about the true presentation of the doctrine of salvation." (177-178, quoting Martin Lloyd-Jones)

"People divide into two types: not the guilty and the "righteous," as many people think, but rather two different types of guilty people. There are guilty people who acknowledge their wrongs, and guilty ones who do not." (180-181)

"[Repentance] is what I call the 'catch' to grace. It must be received, and the Christian term for that act is repentance, the doorway to grace. C.S. Lewis said repentance is not something God arbitrarily demands of us; 'It is simply a description of what going back is like.' In terms of the parable of the Prodigal Son, repentance is the flight home that leads to joyful celebration. It opens the way to a future, to a relationship restored." (182)

"[God] awakes guilt for my own benefit. God seeks not to crush me but to liberate me, and liberation requires a defenseless spirit like that of the woman caught red-handed, not the haughty spirit of the Pharisees [in John 8]." (182)

"It is possible, warns the biblical writer Jude, to 'change the grace of our God into a license for immorality.' Not even an emphasis on repentance erases this danger completely... At first a devious idea forms in the back of the mind. It's something I want. Yeah, I know, it's wrong. But why don't I just ahead anyway? I can always get forgiveness later. The idea grows into an obsession, and ultimately grace becomes 'a license for immorality.'" (183-184)

"If you know in advance you'll be forgiven, why not join the bacchanalian pagans? Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow God will forgive... If grace increases as sin increases, then why not sin as much as possible in order to give God more opportunity to extend grace? [St. Paul says] 'We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?'... No Christian resurrected to new life should be pining for the grave. Sin has the stench of death about it. Why would anyone choose it? (185)

"A friend of mine who led a Bible study [on Romans 6] had one college coed come to him afterwards with a puzzled expression. 'I know it says we've died to sin,' she said. 'But in my life sin seems very much alive.' Paul, a realist, recognized this fact, or else he would not have advised us in the same passage, 'Count yourselves dead to sin' and 'Do not let sin reign in your mortal body.'" (186)

"'Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace?' Does grace offer a license, a sort of free pass through the ethical maze of life?... Again Paul lets out an incredulous 'God forbid!' How do you answer someone whose main goal in life is to push the outer edges of the envelope of grace? Has such a person ever experienced grace?" (186-187)

"Sin is a slave master that controls us whether we like it or not. Paradoxically, a headlong pursuit of freedom often turns into bondage: insist on the freedom to lose your temper whenever you feel anger, and you will find yourself a slave to rage." (187)

"What is required is the renunciation of the ego, and this is expressed perfectly in the phrase of Pascal: 'Entire and sweet renunciation. Absolute submission to Jesus Christ and my spiritual director.' People may laugh and scoff at you for being unworthy of the title of free man and for having to submit yourself to a master... But this enslavement is really a miraculous liberation, for even when you were free you spent the whole time forging chains for yourself and putting them on, riveting them tighter and tighter each moment. During the years when you thought you were free you submitted like an ox to the yoke of your countless hereditary ills. From the hour of your birth not one of your crimes has failed to go on living, has failed to imprison you more and more every day, has failed to beget other crimes. The Man you submit yourself to does not want you to be free to be a slave: he breaks the circle of your fetters, and, against your half-extinguished and still-smouldering desires, He kindles and re-kindles the fire of Grace. (188, quoting Francois Mauriac)

"[If] we approach God with a 'What can I get away with?' attitude, it proves we do not grasp what God has in mind for us. God wants something far beyond the relationship I might have with a slave master, who will enforce my obedience with a whip. God is not a boss or a business manager or a magic genie to serve at our command. Indeed, God wants something more intimate than the closest relationship on earth, the lifetime bond between a man and a woman. What God wants is not a good performance, but my heart. I do 'good works' for my wife not in order to earn credit but to express my love for her. Likewise, God wants me to serve 'in the new way of the Spirit': not out of compulsion but out of desire. 'Discipleship,' says Clifford Williams, 'simply means the life which springs from grace.'" (189-190)

"Paul begins most of his letters with a summary of the riches we possess in Christ. If we comprehend what Christ has done for us, then surely out of gratitude we will strive to live 'worthy' of such great love. We will strive for holiness not to make God love us but because he already does. As Paul told Titus, it is the grace of God that 'teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives." (190)

"When Augustine made the famous statement, 'If you but love God you may do as you incline,' he was perfectly serious. A person who truly loves God will be inclined to please God, which is why Jesus and Paul both summed up the entire law in the simple command, 'Love God.'" (191)

"The church, says Robert Farrar Capon, 'has spent so much time inculcating in us the fear of making mistakes that she has made us like ill-taught piano students: we play our songs, but we never really hear them because our main concern is not to make music but to avoid some flub that will get us in the dutch.'" (208)

"Legalism stands like a stripper on the sidelines of faith, seducing us toward an easier way. It teases, promising some of the benefits of faith but unable to deliver what matters most. As Paul wrote to the legalists of his day, 'For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.'" (209)

"At first glance legalism seems hard, but actually freedom in Christ is the harder way. It is relatively easy not to murder, hard to reach out in love; easy to avoid a neighbor's bed, but hard to keep a marriage alive; easy to pay taxes, hard to serve the poor. When living in freedom, I must remain open to the Spirit for guidance. I am more aware of what I have neglected than what I have achieved. I cannot hide behind a mask of behavior, like the hypocrites, nor can I hide behind facile comparisons with other Christians." (209)

"Jesus proclaimed unmistakably that God's law is so perfect and absolute that no one can achieve righteousness. Yet God's grace is so great that we do not have to. By striving to prove how much they deserve God's love, legalists miss the whole point of the gospel, that it is a gift from God to people who don't deserve it. The solution to sin is not to impose an ever-stricter code of behavior. It is to know God." (210)

"I see the confusion of politics and religion as one of the greatest barriers to grace. C.S. Lewis observed that almost all crimes of Christian history have come about when religion is confused with politics. Politics, which always runs by the rules of [power], allures us to trade away grace for power, a temptation the church has often been unable to resist." (232-233)

"Attempts to perfect Christian societies in this world, whether conducted by popes or revolutionaries, have tended to degenerate into red terrors." (234, quoting Paul Johnson)

"Who is my enemy? The abortionist? The Hollywood producer polluting our culture? The politician threatening my moral principles? The drug lord ruling my inner city? If my activism, however well-motivated, drives out love, then I have misunderstood Jesus' gospel. I am stuck with law, not the gospel of grace." (242)

"Jesus declared that we should have one distinguishing mark: not political correctness or moral superiority, but love. Paul added that without love nothing we do--no miracle of faith, no theological brilliance, no flaming personal sacrifice--will avail (1 Corinthians 13)." (242)

"If the world despises a notorious sinner, the church will love her. If the world cuts off aid to the poor and suffering, the church will offer food and healing. If the world oppresses, the church will raise up the oppressed. If the world shames a social outcast, the church will proclaim God's reconciling love. If the world seeks profit and self-fulfillment, the church seeks sacrifice and service. If the world demands retribution, the church dispenses grace. If the world splinters into factions, the church joins together in unity. If the world destroys its enemies, the church loves them. That, at least, is the vision of the church in the New Testament: a colony of heaven in a hostile world." (262)

"Perhaps the reason politics has proved such a snare for the church is that power rarely coexists with love." (263)

"Karl Barth made the comment that Jesus' gift of forgiveness, of grace, was to him more astonishing than Jesus' miracles. Miracles broke the physical laws of the universe; forgiveness broke the moral rules. 'The beginning of good is perceived in the midst of bad... The simplicity and comprehensiveness of grace--who shall measure it?'" (271)

"How does a grace-full Christian look? The Christian life, I believe, does not primarily center on ethics or rules but rather involves a new way of seeing. I escape the force of spiritual 'gravity' when I begin to see myself as a sinner who cannot please God by any method of self-improvement or self-enlargement. Only then can I turn to God for outside help--for grace--and to my amazement I learn that a holy God already loves me despite my defects. I escape the force of gravity against when I recognize my neighbors also as sinners, loved by God. A grace-full Christian is one who looks at the world through 'grace-tinted lenses.'" (271-272)

"We creatures, we jolly beggars, give glory to God by our dependence. Our wounds and defects are the very fissures through which grace might pass. It is our human destiny on earth to be imperfect, incomplete, weak, and mortal, and only by accepting that destiny can we... receive grace. Only then can we draw close to God." (273)

"Christianity has a principle, 'Hate the sin but love the sinner,' which is more easily preached than practiced. If Christians could simply recover that practice, modeled so exquisitely by Jesus, we would go a long way toward fulfilling our calling as dispensers of God's grace. For a long time, C.S. Lewis reports, he could never understand the hairsplitting distinction between hating a person's sin and hating the sinner. How could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? 'But years later it occured to me that there was one man to whom I had been doing this all my life--namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There had never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things.'" (280-281)

Friday, December 19, 2014

"What's so Amazing about Grace?" (II)

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." (64, quoting C.S. Lewis)

"It is no sweet platonic ideal to be dispersed in the world like air-freshener sprayed from a can. Forgiveness is achingly difficult, and long after you've forgiven, the wound--my dastardly deeds--lives on in memory. Forgiveness is an unnatural act." (84)

"Behind every act of forgiveness lies a wound of betrayal, and the pain of being betrayed does not easily fade away." (84)

"The very taste of forgiveness seems somehow wrong. Even when we have committed a wrong, we want to earn our way back into the injured party's good graces. We prefer to crawl on our knees, to wallow, to do penance, to kill a lamb..." (85)

"Despite a hundred sermons on forgiveness, we do not forgive easily, nor find ourselves easily forgiven. Forgiveness, we discover, is always harder than the sermons make it out to be." (86, quoting Elizabeth Warren)

"'Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.' At the center of the Lord's Prayer, which Jesus taught us to recite, lurks the unnatural act of forgiveness. Roman bathers urged their gods to abet human justice; Jesus hinged God's forgiveness on our willingness to forgive unjust acts. Charles Williams has said of the Lord's Prayer, "'No word in English carries a greater possibility of terror than the little word 'as' in that clause.' What makes the 'as' so terrifying? The fact that Jesus plainly links our forgiven-ness by the Father with our forgiving-ness of fellow human beings. Jesus' next remark could not be more explicit: 'If you do not forgive their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.'" (87)

"Jesus requires--no, demands--a response of forgiveness. So urgent is the need for forgiveness that it takes precedence over 'religious' duties: "'Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.' Jesus concluded his parable of the unforgiving servant with a scene of the master turning over the servant to jailers to be tortured. 'This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart,' Jesus said. I fervently wish these words were not in the Bible, but there they are, from the lips of Christ himself. God has granted us a terrible agency: by denying forgiveness to others, we are in effect determining them unworthy of God's forgiveness, and thus so are we. In some mysterious way, divine forgiveness depends on us." (87-88)

"As we can allow ourselves to let go, to break the cycle, to start over, God can allow himself to let go, break the cycle, start over." (87)

"Through the medium of prayer we go to our enemy, stand by his side, and plead for him to God. Jesus does not promise that when we bless our enemies and do good to them they will not despitefully use and persecute us. They certainly will. But not even that can hurt or overcome us, so long as we pray for them... We are doing vicariously for them what they cannot do for themselves." (89, quoting Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

"'Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath; for it is written, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.'" At last I understood, in the final analysis, forgiveness is an act of faith. By forgiving another, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out. I leave in God's hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy." (92)

"Forgiveness--undeserved, unearned--can cut the cords and let the oppressive burden of guilt roll away. The New Testament shows a resurrected Jesus leading Peter by the hand through a three-fold ritual of forgiveness. Peter need not go through life with the guilty, hangdog look of one who has betrayed the Son of God. Oh, no. On the backs of such transformed sinners Christ would build his church." (104)

"In The Art of Forgiving, Lewis Smedes makes the striking observation that the Bible portrays God going through progressive stages when he forgives, much as we humans do. First, God rediscovers the humanity of the person who wronged him, by removing the barrier created by sin. Second, God surrenders his right to get even, choosing instead to bear the cost in his own body. Finally, God revises his feelings toward us, finding a way to'justify' us so that when he looks upon us he sees his own adopted children, with his divine image restored." (106)

"When Jesus loved a guilt-laden person and helped him, he saw in him an erring child of God. He saw in him a human being whom his Father loved and grieved over because he was going wrong. He saw him as God originally designed and meant him to be, and therefore he saw through the surface layer of grime and dirt to the real man underneath. Jesus did not identify the person with his sin, but rather saw in this sin something alien, something that really did not belong to him, something that merely chained and mastered him, and from which he could free him and bring him back to his real self. Jesus was able to love men because he loved through right through the layer of mud." (175)

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

"What's so Amazing about Grace?" (I)


I first heard about Philip Yancey's book in bible college. Our theology professor, a man who read 3-4 books a week and who had been doing so for decades, told us that What's So Amazing About Grace? was the most influential book he'd ever read. I found that odd, coming from him, since Yancey tends to write books for the masses rather than for theologians. I started reading this book Monday and finished it Tuesday, and I can see now why my professor extolled it. Yancey blends stories and meditations on Jesus' parables to cut through the bullshit of religion to catch a glimpse of the heart of God.

Yancey defines grace: "Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more--no amount of spiritual calisthenics and renunciations, no amoung of knowledge gained from seminaries and divinity schools, no amount of crusading on behalf of righteous causes. And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us less--no amount of racism or pride or pornography or adultery or even murder. Grace means that God already loves us as much as an infinite God can possibly love." He continues, "I cannot moderate my definition of grace, because the Bible forces me to make it as sweeping as possible. God is 'the God of all grace,' in the apostle Peter's words. And grace means there is nothing I can do to make God love me more, and nothing I can do to make God love me less. It means that I, even I who deserve the opposite, am invited to take my place at a table in God's family." (page 70)

In three posts I'm going to convey some of my favorite quotes. The book is basically split into three parts: God's grace towards us, our grace towards others, and the church's role of dispensing grace to the world. The last several chapters are a damning rebuke on evangelical Christianity's politically-bent motivations that always fail to miss the heart of the gospel: "We're a bunch of bastards, but God loves us anyways."

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"Many years ago I was driven to the conclusion that the two major causes of most emotional problems among evangelical Christians are these: the failure to understand, receive, and live out God's unconditional grace and forgiveness; and the failure to give out that unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace to other people... We read, we hear, we believe a good theology about grace. But that's not the way we live. The good news of the Gospel of grace has not penetrated the level of our emotions." (15, quoting David Seamands)

"Catholics, Mennonites, Churches of Christ, Lutherans, and Southern Baptists all have their own custom agenda of legalism. You gain the church's, and presumably God's, approval by following the prescribed pattern." (30)

"Eugene Peterson draws a contrast between Augustine and Pelagius, two fourth-century theological opponents. Pelagius was urbane, courteous, convincing, and liked by everyone. Augustine squandered away his youth in immorality, had a strange relationship with his mother, and made many enemies. Yet Augustine started from God's grace and got it right, whereas Pelagius started from human effort and got it wrong. Augustine passionately pursued God; Pelagius methodically worked to please God. Peterson goes on to say that Christians tend to be Augustinian in theory but Pelagian in practice. They work obsessively to please other people and even God." (70)

"By tradition, one wears faith with the solemnity of a mourner, the gravity of a mask of tragedy, and the dedication of a Rotary badge." (31, quoting Erma Bombeck)

"The church... communicates ungrace through its lack of unity. Mark Twain used to say he put a dog and cat in a cage together as an experiment, to see if they could get along. They did, so he put in a bird, pig, and goat. They, too, got along fine after a few adjustments. Then he put in a Baptist, Presbyterian, and Catholic; soon there was not a living thing left." (33)

"I have been picking on Christians because I am one, and see no reason to pretend we are better than we are." (33)

"Guilt was not my problem as I felt it. What I felt most was a glob of unworthiness that I could not tie down to any concrete sins I was guilty of. What I needed more than pardon was a sense that God accepted me, owned me, held me, affirmed me, and would never let go of men even if he was not too much impressed with what he had on his hands." (36, quoting Lewis Smedes)

"The disease anorexia is a direct product of ungrace: hold up the ideal of beautiful, skinny models, and teenage girls will starve themselves to death in an attempt to reach that ideal. A peculiar offshoot of modern Western civilization, anorexia has no known history and rarely occurs in places like modern Africa (where plumpness, not thinness, is admired)." (37)

"The notion of God's love coming to us free of charge, no strings attached, seems to go against every instinct of humanity. The Buddhist eight-fold path, the Hindu doctrine of karma, the Jewish covenant, and Muslim code of law--each of these offers a way to earn approval. Only Christianity dares to make God's love unconditional." (45)

"How different [are Jesus' parables] from my own childhood notions about God: a God who forgives, yes, but reluctantly, after making the penitent squirm. I imagined God as a distant thundering figure who prefers fear and respect to love. Jesus tells instead [in the parable of the Prodigal Son] of a father publicly humiliating himself by rushing out to embrace a son who has squandered half the family fortune. There is no solemn lecture, 'I hope you've learned your lesson!' Instead, Jesus tells of the father's exhilaration--'This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found'--and then adds the buoyant phrase, 'they began to make merry.'" (51)

"What blocks forgiveness is not God's reticence... but ours. God's arms are always extended; we are the ones who turn away." (51-52)

"The gospel is not at all what we would come up with on our own. I, for one, would expect to honor the virtuous over the profligate. I would expect to have to clean up my act before even applying for an audience with a Holy God. But Jesus told of God ignoring a fancy religious teacher and turning instead to an ordinary sinner who pleads, 'God, have mercy.' Throughout the Bible, in fact, God shows a marked preference for "real" people over "good" people. In Jesus' own words, 'There will be more rejoincing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.'" (54)

"Ask people what they must do to get to heaven and most reply, 'Be good.' Jesus' stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry, 'Help!' God welcomes home anyone who will have him and, in fact, has made the first move already." (54)

"[Jesus' parables] were not merely pleasant stories to hold listeners' attention or literary vessels to hold theological truths. They were, in fact, the template of Jesus' life on earth. He was the sepherd who left the safety of the fold for the dark and dangerous night outside. To his banquets he welcomed tax collectors and reprobates and whores. He came for the sick and not the well, for the unrighteous and not the righteous. And to those who betrayed him--especially the disciples, who forsook him at his time of greatest need--he responded like a lovesick father." (55)

"At the center of Jesus' parables of grace stands a God who takes the initiative towards us: a lovesick father who runs to meet the prodigal, a king who cancels a debt too large for any servant to reimburse, an employer who pays eleventh-hour workers the same as the first-hour crew, a banquet-giver who goes out to the highways and byways in search of undeserving guests." (91)

"God dispenses gifts, not wages. None of us gets paid according to merit, for none of us comes close to satisfying God's requirements for a perfect life. If we paid on the basis of fairness, we would all end up in hell." (62)

"[If] I care to listen, I hear a loud whisper from the gospel that I did not get what I deserved. I deserved punishment and got forgiveness. I deserved wrath and got love. I deserved debtor's prison and got instead a clean credit history. I deserved stern lectures and crawl-on-your-knees-repentance; I got a banquet... spread for me." (64)

"'But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.' Paul knew better than anyone who has ever lived that grace comes undeserved, at God's initiative and not our own. Knocked flat on the ground on the way to Damascus, he never recovered from the impact of grace: the word appears no later than the second sentence in every one of his letters... Paul--the "chief of sinners" he once called himself--knew beyond doubt that God loves people because of who God is, not because of who we are." (66)

"[Grace] costs nothing for the recipients but everything for the giver. God's grace is not a grandfatherly display of 'niceness,' for it cost the exorbitant price of Calvary. 'There is only one real law--the law of the universe,' said Dorothy Sayers. 'It may be fulfilled either by way of judgment or by the way of grace, but it must be fulfilled.' By accepting the judgment in his own body, Jesus fulfilled that law, and God found a way to forgive." (66)

"Weighed down by repeated failures, lost hope, a sense of unworthiness, we pull around ourselves a shell that makes us almost impervious to grace. Like foster children who choose again and again to return to abusive families, we turn stubbornly away from grace." (68)

"At a seminar, [Brennan Manning] referred to Jesus' closest friend on earth, the disciple named John, identified in the Gospels as 'the one Jesus loved.' Manning said, 'If John were to be asked, "What is your primary identity in life?" he would not reply, "I am a disciple, an apostle, an evangelist, an author of one of the four Gospels," but rather, "I am the one Jesus loves.'" What would it mean, I ask myself, if I too came to the place where I saw my identity in life as 'the one Jesus loves'? How differently would I view myself at the end of a day?" (68)

"God exists outside of time, the theologians tell us. God created time as an artist chooses a medium to work with, and is unbound by it. He sees the future and the past in a kind of eternal present. If right about this property of God, the theologians have helped explain how God can possibly call "beloved" a person as inconsistent, fickle, and temperamental as I am. When God looks upon my life graph, he sees not jagged swerves toward good and bad but rather a steady line of good: the goodness of God's Son captured in a moment of time and applied for all eternity." (69)

"There is a simple cure for people who doubt God's love and question God's grace: to turn to the Bible and examine the kind of people God loves. Jacob, who dared take God on in a wrestling match and ever after bore a wound from that struggle, became the eponym for God's people, the "children of Israel." The Bible tells of a murderer and adulterer who gained a reputation as the greatest king of the Old Testament, a "man after God's own heart." And of a church being led by a disciple who cursed and swore that he had never known Jesus. And of a missionary being recruited from the ranks of the Christian-torturers. I get mailings from Amnesty International, and as I look at their photos of men and women who have been beaten and cattle-prodded and jabbed and spit on and electrocuted, I ask myself, "What kind of human being could do that to another human being?" Then I read the book of Acts and meet the kind of person who could do such a thing--now an apostle of grace, a servant of Jesus Christ, the greatest missionary the world has ever known. If God can love that kind of person, maybe, just maybe, he can love the likes of me." (70)

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

"The New Testament & the People of God"

The New Testament & the People of God

The latest book in my queue is N.T. Wright's voluminous The New Testament and the People of God. Being the first book of his massive "Christian Origins and the Question of God" series, this book seeks to "set the stage," so-to-speak, for Wright's analysis of Christianity's origins. In this volume he examines first-century Palestinian Judaism in the context of the wider Greco-Roman world. By doing so, Wright prepares for the second book in his series, Jesus and the Victory of God, which looks at Jesus' prophetic ministry in the context of the Judaism of his day. 

The book is divided into five parts, the first two of which examines critical historical issues such as epistemology, worldviews, and critical history. Wright seeks to bridge the gap between modernist and postmodern approaches to historical study, carving a path through the ambiguous waters of historical theory. Wright argues that while history isn't comprised of bare-boned facts but interpretations of events, the events remain and thus history can be done. This is one of my favorite parts, and his work here was foundational for my 2012-2013 "Quest" regarding the justifiability of the Judeo-Christian worldview. Earlier blog posts from 2012 highlight some of Wright's key points, and here they are if you're interested in a trip down Memory Lane:

(hint: the above four lines are links)

Part three examines Wright's take on 2nd-Temple Palestinian Judaism. He looks at the history of Israel from the Babylonian exile to the Roman oppression, sketching out Judaism's plurality of beliefs, practices, and hopes. He sets the overarching Jewish worldview as follows on page 243: "Who are we? We are Israel, the chosen people of the creator god. Where are we? We are in the holy Land, focused on the Temple; but, paradoxically, we are still in exile. What is wrong? We have the wrong rulers: pagans on the one hand, compromised Jews on the other, or, half-way between, Herod and his family. We are all involved in a less-than-ideal situation. What is the solution? Our god must act again to give us the true sort of rule, that is, his own kingship exercised through properly appointed officials (a true priesthood; possibly a true king); and in the mean time Israel must be faithful to his covenant charter." 

In the final chapter of Part Three, Wright examines the facets of the Jewish hope: the inauguration of the age to come, liberation from Rome, the restoration of the Temple, and the enjoyment of their own Land. Believing they were still in exile, despite being in their own land, the Jewish people put their hopes on the renewal of the covenant prophesied through Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel. Wright observes on page 301, "When Israel finally 'returned from exile,' and the Temple was (properly) rebuilt, and reinhabited by its proper occupant--this would be seen as comparable with the making of the covenant on Sinai. It would be the betrothal of YHWH and Israel, after their apparent divorce. It would be the real forgiveness of sins; Israel's god would pour out his holy spirit, so that she would be able to keep the Torah properly, from the heart. It would be the 'circumcision of the heart' of which Deuteronomy and Jeremiah had spoken. And, in a phrase pregnant with meaning for both Jews and Christians, it would above all be the 'kingdom of god.' Israel's god would become in reality what he was already believed to be. He would be King of the whole world." When this happened, there would be a vast renewal: a renewal of Israel, a renewal of humanity, a renewal of the world.

In Part Four, Wright looks at the emergence of the Christian church, seeking to sketch out its worldview, beliefs, and practices. He's straightforward, acknowledging that it's difficult to know much of anything about the earliest days of the church; nevertheless, Wright does an excellent job of examining some of the key facets to early Christianity that marked it out from its Greek and Jewish neighbors: its emphasis on global mission, sexual purity, baptism, the eucharist, a shocking ethical code, the absence of animal sacrifices, and the readiness of its adherents to suffer and die for their confessions of Jesus as Lord. On pages 369-370 Wright outlines what he believes were the "Worldview Q&A" of the early church:

Who are we? We are a new group, a new movement, and yet not new, because we claim to be the true people of the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the creator of the world. We are the people for whom the creator god was preparing the way through his dealings with Israel. To that extent, we are like Israel; we are emphatically monotheists, not pagan polytheists, marked out from the pagan world by our adherence to the traditions of Israel, and yet distinguished from the Jewish world in virtue of the crucified Jesus and the divine spirit, and by our fellowship in which the traditional Jewish and pagan boundary-markers are transcended.

Where are we? We are living in the world that was made by the god we worship, the world that does not yet acknowledge this true and only god. We are thus surrounded by neighbors who worship idols that are, at best, parodies of the truth, and who thus catch glimpses of reality but continually distort it. Humans in general remain in bondage to their own gods, who drag them into a variety of degrading and dehumanizing behavior-patterns. As a result, we are persecuted, because we remind the present power-structures of what they dimly know, that there is a different way to be human, and that in the message of the true god concerning his son, Jesus, notice has been served on them that their own claim to absolute power is called into question.

What is wrong? The powers of paganism still rule the world, and from time to time even find their way into the church. Persecutions arise from outside, heresies and schisms from within. These evils can sometimes be attributed to supernatural agency, whether 'Satan' or various demons. Even within the individual Christian there remain forces at work that need to be subdued, lusts which need to be put to death, party-spirit which needs to learn humility.

What is the solution? Israel's hope has been realized; the true god has acted decisively to defeat the pagan gods, and to create a new people, through whom he is to rescue the world from evil. This he has done through the true King, Jesus, the Jewish Messiah, in particular through his death and resurrection. The process of implementing this victory, by means of the same god continuing to act through his own spirit in his people, is not yet complete. One day the King will return to judge the world, and to set up a kingdom which is on a different level to the kingdoms of this present world order. When this happens those who have died as Christians will be raised to a new physical life. The present powers will be forced to acknowledge Jesus as Lord, and justice and peace will triumph at last.

Wright launches into a survey of some of the earliest Christian materials we have in our possession, beginning with the Synoptics (Matthew, Mark, and Luke), the writings of Paul, the letter to the Hebrews, and the Gospel of John, asking, "What story are these writings telling?" Wright argues that these earliest Christian writings look at Jesus and the early church as the culmination of Jewish hopes and the dawn of the promised New Age, marked by forgiveness of sins, the defeat and dismantling of evil, and God's kingdom coming to birth in the world. Wright argues against the prevalent current in gospel studies, that thread-of-thought that sees Jesus in the guise of a Stoic or Cynic teacher, deeply indebted in Greek thought, by highlighting the Jewish themes, motifs, and ideas saturating the New Testament. Gospel studies have advocated that these Jewish undertones were added to Jesus at a later date, invented by the second century church to address issues within the church. This paradigmatic approach to the gospels stands on the shoulders of a certain type of form-criticism, the criticism of which Wright devotes an entire chapter.

Traditional form-criticism looks at the forms of the gospel stories under the assumption that the majority of these stories were fabricated by the early church. This early church isn't seen as Jewish in origin but Gnostic in origin. In his damning criticism of this approach to form-criticism, Wright points out the obvious: if the gospels were created to address issues within the early church, why don't we once see the issue of circumcision? Meat sacrificed to idols, Gentile inclusion in the church, speaking in tongues... Why are these historically divisive issues barely touched upon, if mentioned at all? Wright doesn't suggest tossing out form-criticism; the logic behind form-criticism is steady, but it's missed its mark in its assumption. Wright argues for a new approach to form-criticism, an approach highlighting the Jewish forms of prophetic acts, controversies, and parables. Wright further criticizes the attention given to the supposed "Q" document (from which Luke and Matthew drew their material) and The Gospel of Thomas. Much attention has been given to the Gnostic, aphorism-driven Thomas, which Wright finds unwarranted. "It is simply the case that, on good historical grounds, [Thomas] is far more likely that the book represents a radical translation, and indeed subversion, of first-century Christianity into a quite different sort of religion, than that it represents the original of which the longer gospels are distortions."

So what is this "primitive early church" which The Gospel of Thomas subverts? In the final chapter, Wright looks at different facets of the early church, drawing on material and arguments throughout the earlier chapters, and simultaneously laying the groundwork for the next book in his series, Jesus & the Victory of God. He identifies the church as beginning as a Jewish movement and then branching out into the Gentile world, over against the recent hypotheses that the church began as a philosophical movement indebted to Greek thought and then became distorted with a Jewish atmosphere. Tying together the two main questions of the book--"What was the Jewish worldview in 2nd century Palestinian Judaism?" and "What was the worldview of the early church?"--Wright says, "First-century Jews looked forward to a public event, a great act of liberation for Israel, in and through which their god would reveal to all the world that he was not just a local, tribal deity, but the creator and sovereign of all. YHWH would reveal his salvation for Israel in the eyes of the nations; the ends of the earth would see that he had vindicated his people. The early Christians, not least in the writings that came to be called the New Testament, looked back to an event in and through which, they claimed, Israel's god had done exactly that. On this basis, the New Testament, emerging from within this strange would-be 'people of god', told the story of that people as a story rooted in Israel's past, and designed to continue into the world's future. It repeated the Jewish claim: this story concerns not just a god but God. It revised the Jewish evidence: the claim is made good, not in national liberation, but in the events concerning Jesus." (476)

The next book in Wright's series is Jesus & the Victory of God.
It's a voluminous work, and to prepare, I'm reading his book, The Challenge of Jesus.
Be prepared to be hearing about that book over the next month or two. It's a doozy.

where we're headed

Over the last several years, we've undergone a shift in how we operate as a family. We're coming to what we hope is a better underst...