randoms

Life has been pretty hectic lately between work and play. I've been working full-time plus hanging out with people constantly. On Saturday I went to a great party down in Cincinnati with all kinds of crazy and fabulous people. Lots of great expensive beer, hard cider, vodka and bourbon. I don't get drunk, but I don't avoid the stuff like the black plague, either. Throughout the night I took probably five or six shots, didn't feel a thing. There were others puking and passing out all over the place, though. I enjoyed great conversation with friends and strangers on the back porch, and we even had our own "dance party" in the empty dining room, dancing to great hits by Keisha and Ashanti and Black Eyed Peas. Sunday morning Jessie and I went to the flea market off I-75, and I got a sweet pair of sandals and two coffee cups. I just got back from Cincinnati, visiting my old friend Monica Palmer. We celebrated the (roughly) anniversary of her rejection of my romantic interests by grabbing coffee at Refuge, getting lunch at Aroma's while visiting Jessie, and then walking around Newport taking pictures. Here is a picture she got of me standing before the city. Yeah, the shades are pretty fantastic (25 cents at Wal-Mart, a gift from the wonderful Jessie Myers):

I'm really enjoying work. Even when I don't want to go in, I end up having fun. The people there are great to work with, and I always have a blast laughing and joking around while getting work done. I'm a great multi-tasker when it comes to blending work with play. I thought about how it's funny that within my circle of friends, half of us work in coffee: Rob and Nate at Refuge, Jessie at Aroma's, me at Starbucks; and many of our friends--Mandy, Amos, etc.--have spent time working at coffee houses. We all just love coffee. My room is decked out in coffee decor (a few hanging coffee bags, some framed pictures of latte art, some miscellaneous coffee signs, pounds of coffee serving as book-ends). Coffee is definitely a big part of my life, though I will never be as skilled as Rob (check out this dragon he made):


As I said in an earlier post, I am done reading "Surprised By Hope" by N.T. Wright. I have moved on to "Simply Christian," and reading it is refreshing as always. I love what he writes about the Spirit of God being an engagement ring, a promise of a wedding future (but take it easy, let's not get this idea that God is supposed to take the place of our boyfriends or girlfriends; that idea is ludicrous). His writings on Jesus are great, and he does a great job of setting Jesus within the framework of second-temple Palestinian Judaism, a far better job than (I believe) Sanders did in his 1977 publication. I am still wrestling with Wright's analysis of Jesus' understanding of himself. He doesn't deny the Christian belief that Jesus is fully God and fully human, but he shows how within evangelical Christianity, the tendency has been to slide towards Jesus being more divine than human, and we almost have a sort of docetism brewing, albeit subtly, in the minds and thoughts of contemporary Christians. His analysis of Jesus' understanding within the framework of being fully human and fully divine is quite challenging but refreshing.

the dayton days XVIII

Memorial Day. Today we had a cookout in New Carlisle with Dad's side of the family. I got there two hours late because I had my Midpoint Review with Faith at Spring Valley. I got all Great reviews and two Excellents. She says I'm very personable and everyone likes working with me. Up in New Carlisle, we ate lunch and played volleyball and I went kayaking in Aunt Julie's pond. Ams & I got back around 6:00, and she went down to Cincinnati. Tyler came over for a little while, and we did the usual. Lots of rain came through. Hammering, thunderous rains. I gave Mandy K. a call and went to bed.

Tuesday. Talking to Mandy K. was good last night. In August I hope to go visit her in Wisconsin. I worked 6:30-1:00, went to the gym, did some reading (N.T. Wright) and had chickens and mushrooms for dinner. Dylan & Tyler came over, and we went to D.L.M. and then to Starbucks. Mom came by with her crew of high school girls from her Tuesday night small group. We went back to the house and played Mario-Kart. Ams called complaining about Sarah: "Now she can't pay first month's rent." She spends all her money on beer at the weekend bars and pizza for dinner throughout the week, then begs Ams to front her cash. "She's already borrowed so much money and hasn't paid me back."

Wednesday. I went to Caesar's Creek for a bit this morning, read 1 Peter and prayed. I had sushi for lunch and worked 12-8:30 (and this time the power didn't go out!). a massive storm came through, the biggest yet this year. Lightning dancing all around, drenching rains, thunder shaking the store. "It's amazing that something can be so beautiful and yet so destructive at the same time," Carly mused, too which I replied, "Kinda like premarital sex." This I know too well.

Thursday. I worked 7-12:00 with J.J., Jessica, and Asenath. I had a granola bar and espresso for lunch and then too a nap. I went to Borders by the Mall and got N.T. Wright's newest book. Dylan & Tyler came over for a good dinner--potatoes, chicken, and mushrooms--and then we played Mario-Kart (a staple!) and sat on the front porch smoking and talking (staple number two!). We went to D.L.M. and then to Franklin, where I dropped off my resume for a church looking for a part-time preacher. I'm not anxious about it. "I've told God that I want the task, and I know if it is His will, it will happen. But right now I'm at a place where I'm beginning to get back on track, beginning to think about things, and if it's more profitable for me, now, to remain as a non-leader in a church, and if God in his wisdom doesn't make this happen, then I'll be content with it."

Friday. I woke late and went to North Park and spent some time in prayer and meditation. I worked 1-9:30 with Abby, Lourdes, Betsy, and Aubree. Carly and I hung out after work. She's super cool, and envious of my study habits. Forrest came in and worked, which is always good. On the 24th we're having Wade's "work" baby shower at my place.

Saturday. I worked 6:30-3:00 with Wade, Jessica, Asenath, Denise, and Faith. On break I had a wrap and read more N.T. Wright. I headed down to Cincinnati after work, a huge storm following me the entire way. When I arrived at the Claypole House for the first ever House Party, we started drinking. It was a good night with good folk: Rob & Mandy, Amos, Tony & Jessie, Blake, Ams, Sarah, the whole crew. More people started showing up: Brandy, Dominic, the Sulzeners. Two cute girls came, too--Anna and Claire--and I talked with them for a while. Blake, Mandy, Ams, Sarah, Amos, Blake & I danced to club music. I went to bed around 4 AM, crashing on Tony's sofa in what's called "the walk-through room" (you have to go through it to get upstairs, where Blake and Rob & Mandy live). Noteworthy: one guy came to the party, some dude named Jeff, who's a real-life pimp prostituting out women. He says it's his destiny, and he says women will be used for sex anyways, so why not profit off it? He pointed out that his 'employees' had been physically hurt by men in the past, and he honors their vulnerability by protecting them. NO: he takes their brokenness and exploits it. There are some people in this world who deserve a swift judgment. "I fucking hate him," Rob growled. I agreed.

D-DAY Anniversary. I woke up around 9 AM and went to the Starbucks in Mariemont for coffee and then cruised around northern Kentucky for a while. Jessie & I went to the big flea market on 75. Trader's World? I got two coffee cups and a pair of sandals. Dewenter came over when I got back into Dayton, and we sat on the front porch and talked. Exhausted and feeling sick (abrupt weather change?), I went to bed pretty early.

monthly weigh-in #6 (+ a quote)

Weigh-in for the month of June comes in at 147 pounds. Only two pounds lost. I'm not surprised. This month has been crazy with all kinds of pre-summer parties, weddings, family get-togethers, etc. I haven't eaten very well, and I've had a few bouts of sickness where I was unable to really work out. At 147 pounds, I'm five away from my original goal of 142#. I am hoping to be around 135-140 by August first. I know I can do this if I stick to a certain plan I've come up. Only 1300 calories a day, plus working out every day except for Sunday, and I should lose 2-3 pounds a week. I'm going to experiment with it this week, see what happens. My schedule looks like this:

Monday: chest, shoulders, back
Tuesday: arms and legs
Wednesday: abdomen
Thursday-Saturday: repeat
Sunday: off

And my diet? The original that I employed for a few weeks and lost a lot of weight with: fruits, vegetables, lean meats, eggs, whole grains, and lots and lots of water. Breakfast this morning (after working out) will be two eggs and two pieces of toast, lunch will be a peanut-butter sandwich, and for dinner at work (working 2-11:00) I'll be chowing down on a spinach wrap (I hope!). I'll check back in on June 13th to monitor any weight-loss since the beginning (today).

Here is a great quote from N.T. Wright on the last page of "Surprised By Hope":

God in his gentle love longs to set us free from the prison we have stumbled into--the loveless prison where we refuse both the offer and the demand of forgiveness. We are like a frightened bird before him, shrinking away lest this demand crush us completely. But when we eventually yield--when he corners us and finally takes us in his hand--we find to our astonishment that he is infinitely gentle and that his only aim is to release us from our prison, to set us free to be the people he made us to be. (pp 289)

re:mix (II) - surprised by hope

One of my good friends tweeted a verse from the Bible about hope. The verse is about how Christians find joy in hope. I was reminded of that verse in Hebrews, that we Christians have a very certain hope. This hope is certain in two ways. It is certain in that, unlike most hopes, it will actually come to pass. It is also certain in the sense that it is very precise, very specific. The Christian hope is very specific--it is a hope attested to in scripture, a hope founded upon the ultimate mission of God. The problem with proof-texting is that we often wrench verses out-of-context and apply them to our lives. We do the same thing with those scriptures regarding hope. It is our tendency as Christian--for a variety of reasons--to place our hopes in this life. One reason we do this is because we don't have a very accurate grasp of what "heaven" will be like, what "heaven" itself entails--and we imagine that heaven will be boring, though few of us will admit this for fear of being judged as unspiritual, and so we want this life to last as long as possible and we want to make the best of it. Another reason is that we've been conditioned by the health-and-wealth gospel to believe that God's ultimate goal in our lives is to give us our dreams on a silver platter. This simply isn't the case; if you want to believe that God will bring all your dreams to fulfillment, go ahead and believe that; but eventually you'll either have to stick your head in the sand like the ostrich and blind yourself to the reality of the world around you, or you'll have to stand tall and face it for what it is. Another reason we put our hopes in this life is because it is our human nature; it is an element of self-glorification and self-worship. So we "hope in God" that He will give us all that we've ever wanted--whether that be fame and fortune, a successful career, or something as seemingly simple as a spouse and kids and a house with a white-picket fence. Ultimately, the placing of hope in this life is flawed because, as Christians, this world in its current state is not our home and any effort to make it our home will thus be flawed because of its nature; placing hope in this life--and subsequently hoping that God will bring it to pass--is more a sign of self-devotion than devotion to God.

The question then begins, "What are we to hope for?" We're not to hope that all of our dreams will become a reality in this existence. We are not to hope that one day God will give us all that we've truly wanted and all that we've really desired. Such a hope doesn't create an alternate reality but creates a temporary illusion, more akin to a dreamlike state or the musings of a drunk. We are to hope in God's ultimate future--that one day, He will remake the cosmos and remake our bodies and everything will be right again. And with this hope--this certain hope--we wait. Not a passive waiting but an active waiting. A waiting that has at its core going forth into the ruined world and spreading the kingdom through the proclamation of Jesus' lordship and resurrection, proclaiming the kingdom through signs and symbols (beauty, justice, celebration); a waiting that involves suffering and yet actively standing in the face of the spoiled world and knowing that this will not always be so.

re:mix - surprised by hope

The last three journals have all begun in a state of quasi-depression, a concoction of hopelessness and despair. Much of this, admittedly, was due to some emotional and relational "trauma" (I think I can call it that) in my life. I have charted the rhythms of this trauma in a post last month (go browsing if you care to find it), and as this new journal begins, there is something quite different: a vibrant and ecstatic hope. This is something different, something new--it is unpredictable, and it is uncharted territory. The result is that as I plunge forward, I do so with hesitancy and tepidity, caught between both exhilaration and fear. I am not quite sure what the hope itself is pointing to: basically, as the song goes, I am hoping to see better days (and I don't mean in the eschatological sense). I am hoping, to borrow quite pagan language, that my fortunes will turn, that the sun will shine upon me, that I will breathe both deeper and more peacefully. Already this hope sustains me--I am smiling a lot more, laughing a lot more, being much more outgoing, experiencing a new-found energy, and actually sleeping at peace at night. Even when I know that one of the greatest hopes of my life has been just recently torn asunder, I am at peace with it. It is quite strange. So now I tiptoe--cautiously yet excitedly--into the next journal. I flip through the blank pages, wondering what adventures and discoveries will be enlisted onto their pages, wondering if the cycle will be broken, wondering--and fearing--if this hope will just crumble away, being some sort of manic episode that's lasted for about six weeks now. I'm not sure. Though I will admit, usually I start journals with just as much excitement as when I end them.

"Surprised By Hope"

This is one of the best books I've ever read (to be suspected, of course, because N.T. Wright is a B.A.M.F.). It's all about Christian eschatology centered on the resurrection of Jesus. The first third of the book is all about the resurrection of Jesus seen in the light of pagan and Jewish worldviews and how Christianity reworked the Jewish doctrine of resurrection in light of the resurrection. Wright doesn't dive too deep into the historical arguments for the resurrection (there are some great books on that), but he does employ historical studies to show how current skepticism and interpretation of the resurrection has come about, and he also examines the resurrection from a pragmatic perspective: seeing what it means, and how it demands much of us, many people skitter around it. The second third of the book is all about Christian eschatology in light of Jesus' resurrection: the re:creation of the cosmos, bodily resurrection, judgment, and the appearing (or "return") of Christ. He also tackles such issues as the ascension of Jesus and what theologians call the "intermediate states" of paradise (heaven) and hell. He gives an overview of the three most popular perceptions of eternal hell (conscious torment, conditional immortality, and universalism), and he proposes his own view that is quite surprising (though I don't agree with it). The last third of the book is all about the mission of the church as an eschatological uprising, living the future in the present, and what that means not only for the mission of the church but also for the life of the individual Christian. Very captivating and interesting stuff, stuff that demands to rethink all the long-held assumptions about salvation and evangelism.

I'm going through a bunch of N.T. Wright's books right now. Next on the list is "Simply Christian," which I read in 2007 but wasn't really able to grasp. I've flipped through some of the pages and with the backdrop of what Wright writes in "Surprised By Hope," much more of it makes sense. Then I'm going to read "The Challenge of Jesus," and then I'm off to "Paul in Fresh Perspective" (which, again, I read in 2007), and then I'm going to launch into his newest book (I think), "After You Believe: Why Christian Character Matters." In the fall I plan on reading through his three biggest books, each close to 1000 pages. Quite a task it will be. I'm reading his more "layman" books right now so when I get to those, I won't be too lost and confused.

of sushi and sunrises

Today was a good day. I worked an easy morning shift and was out by 1:00. I went to Caesar's Creek and found a place down on the lake and read 2 Peter for a while. I returned home and passed out and woke up when Dylan and Tyler came over. We grabbed sushi for dinner and then relaxed at Starbucks in the beautiful June weather, and then we went back to my place to play some Wii. This week is looking pretty good. I work an array of random shifts (definitely not the normal morning hours; e.g. I am working 12-8:30 tomorrow), and Saturday I am going to a house warming party down in Cincinnati and Sunday I am getting China Cottage for lunch after going to M.C.C. with Pat Dewenter. Oh: I went kayaking the other day and really enjoyed it, I'm trying to find a place around here where I can go kayaking for a couple hours without dishing out loads of money. Below is a picture I took out on the lake today:

I told my friend Mandy, "I'm a very insensitive person. It's because of my pride." As the old song goes, "I'm filthy with my sin, and I carry pride like a disease." Pride is one of the most common--and one of the most fatal--sins. Everyone deals with it, even the ones who loathe themselves the most. The transition is from placing one's pride in oneself and placing pride in God. This isn't something that happens overnight, and though there are aspects of my existence in which I do take my pride in God, there are far more where I take my pride in myself. One of these is the pride of knowledge. Ever since high school I have been in love with knowledge. I have sought to understand things from various angles and to get to the root and meat of even the most surface-level ideas. I am gifted at understanding abstract concepts and ideas and their interrelations with one another. When faced with what I perceive to be foolish and stupid ideas, I am quite quick to judge, somehow perceiving that those who hold such views are unintelligent. This is not the case. Some are quite intelligent, even if that intelligence is way off-base. And the views we hold we do not hold simply because we have studied them; our perspectives of things are due much less to any sort of academic intelligence than to the accumulation of events and experiences in our lives and how we have interpreted them and continue to interpret them in an evolutionary dance. Anyways. Bottom-line: I need to be more humble (or at least act like it) when dealing with people who are not designed the way I am, i.e. people who do not have a desire to search things out to the bottom of the barrel.