the 13th week

the ampitheater at North Park

Monday. After school I did a cardiovascular workout on the treadmill, and then I wrote ten pages on a possible story: Starseed: Resurrection. 

Tuesday. After school Lee & I went shopping, and I got a white shirt and some felt-tip and colorful sharpie markers. Back home Chris & Pat D. joined us, and I crafted a homemade dinosaur t-shirt. I dropped Chris & Pat off at their house (after Chris stuck my umbrella out the Jeep window and broke it); down the street Don, Angie, and Bryon were over at Shane's house. We joined up with them and went to Lee's Small Group. It was fun, the lesson was on the Beatitudes. The night culminated with Lee and I running around the Southard's house roaring like velociraptors. Darrell was upset, the neighbor was yelling at us. The neighbor got on his phone and Bowden shouted, "He's calling the cops!" I snapped at Amanda, Ashlie, and Lee, "Disaster strikes! We're leaving!" We ran out to the Jeep and jumped in. I gave a last raptor shriek out the window and we roared out of there. 

Wednesday. I was going to wear my dinosaur t-shirt to school but decided against it. Kristin and Ashlie were disappointed. Ashlie wasn't feeling well throughout her day. It was warm and rainy all afternoon, and then the rains passed. Chris came over (Lee was working), and we offered to pick up Pat D. and bring him over, but he growled, "Your place is too boring." So Chris and I went for a walk, and we were messing around with a doberman behind a chain-link fence, and the owner came out and yelled at us. We dropped off some library books and got non-alcoholic grape juice from the Drug-Mart across from his house. 

Thursday. My pregnant goldfish died today. Right after the fish tank started making weird noises. Coincidence? Lee came over after school. We went to the bank and I cashed the money I got back from taxes: $70, woo-hoo! But Mom took all but ten of it for debts. Lee & I went to Kroger's and did some grocery shopping, and I got two kick-ass dinosaur posters. Pat D. came over, and we crawled up Farmer's Hill, got all scratched up, meandered through the cornfield, hiked over to North Park and explored the new ampitheater, and we went to the frog pond. Debbie, Chris & Lee's mom, was running the trails. We hiked through the woods and found a dismantled fort, God only knows how long it'd been there. When we got back to the house Chris was waiting in the living room. We shot some pool and goofed off outside, and we played some music with the Jeep's back hood open and music blaring. Chris & I were the "raptors" team, and Amanda and Lee were the "parasaurs". Debbie picked up the guys, and Dad and I played some pool together. Dewenter has a cool blog, but he cusses in it: no! 

Friday. Another one of my fish died last night. I really think something's wrong with the fish tank. I'm reading The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring in study hall. It's amazing. There was an accident out by the farmer's market, made me late for work. Ricky and I had a blast at work, reading Globe magazines, throwing erasers in the fans, throwing stuff at one another. Some guys tried to start a fight our new bagger, Ryan; Trey and Linda chased them out. Back home I lost in a game of pool to Mom. Aunt Teri & Grandma M. came over. I burned incense and went to bed. Amanda's in Gatlinburg for the weekend with her friend Aly.

Saturday. Aunt Teri notices that I've been losing weight. It's good to see improvements. Work was slow, it has been ever since construction started next door. I took the Jeep to Wal-Mart to get an oil chance, and after picking up Mom, Aunt Teri and Grandma, we went out to eat at Fuddrucker's. I got loads of cash from them for my birthday, and Dad gave me some money he owed me from something, and I refueled the Jeep and dropped them off at home and picked up Lee, and we went to Family Christian. I finally got the dino-skin Message Bible I've been eyeing, as well as a cool necklace. We went to 1/2 Price Books with Chris & Pat, and I bought the Scientific American book on dinosaurs. Amazing stuff. Chris & Pat went to a concert with Hank, and Lee went to work. Dad went to setup, and Mom, Aunt Teri, Grandma & I went to Drug Mart. I got sunflower and pumpkin seeds, a graph notebook, some pencils, and Mom bought me sparkling grape juice (though all the adults got liquor). We ate dinner at Subbie's. Dad & I played basketball when he got back. Lee came over after work, and Chris, Pat and Hank swung by, ringing the doorbell and hitting windows, and scared Grandma half to death! Dad is mad. Lee and I passed out.

Sunday. I wore my dinosaur t-shirt to church, per Lee's begging. Some people were weird about it. Some of the students even mocked me for it. One girl said, "My brother used to be into dinosaurs, when he was five years old." And everyone laughed. I hate it. Chris & I went to K-Mart after church, drove out to Salvation Army (but they were closed), and we went to Best Buy and I got the Bf1942 expansion set. Dewenter loves it. Grandma & Aunt Teri left, and the guys and I played D-I-N-O basketball (kinda like the game "Horse"). Lee & I sat out on the front porch in the sunshine, and I told him I don't really like dinosaurs anymore, that I hate them and never want to get back into them. "Good luck with that," he said, looking at my homemade dinosaur t-shirt. Dad joined us for some basketball. Amanda came home from Gatlinburg and Chris broke my glasses. He really does break a lot, doesn't he? We all hung out until 10:00. Pat D. is on spring break. I wish ours were already here. 

the 12th week

our church is held in a gymnasium!

Monday. I slept in till 6:30: got to go in late because the Sophomores a year below me are doing some sort of new testing program. I worked 4-7:00 after school. My English teacher says I am very deep-thought-minded; i.e. "deep of thought." We were swamped with a theorized snow day on the radar for tomorrow. I babysat Glenn for Cathy G. Her husband's an awesome guitarist on the Southwest Praise Team. I've got two pimples, big ones, right above each eye: I look kinda like a ceratopsian! Oh: on my way to work some kid in a red Viper flicked me off and yelled "F*ck you!" I just smiled. So immature.

Snow Day! We had an unexpected Snow Day in March! It was odd. I decided to exercise a little bit on the treadmill, exercised for thirty minutes, want to lose some weight. Chris, Lee, Pat D., and Ashlie came over. We spent all afternoon in my room: me on the computer, Pat in the chair beside my desk, Chris lying on the floor, and Ashlie & Amanda curled up on my bed with Lee propped up against a pillow at their feet. We went driving around and Chris grabbed the Jeep's wheel and jerked us over a curb. Lee jumped out of the Jeep and I started going forward, and he was running in the snow trying to keep up. Ashlie's leg got caught in the door and her jeans ripped. Dewenter hates snow. Hank told Ashlie that I want to get to know Kristen some more. I guess it's true. She's been friendly, and we've been talking a bit more recently, I'd like another solid friendship. It'd make up for all the weird that happened between us "Back in the Day." Small Group was OK, the lesson was on the characteristics of Jesus. Kristen went downstairs for it. Oh, I picked up Kristin for Small Group and we got lost in the subdivision. I took Ashlie and Amanda to Taco Bell, ran Lee by his place, then took Ashlie home. It's still very snowy outside.

Wednesday. Got to sleep in till 7:30: Sophomore Testing continues. After school I went over to Chris & Lee's. Usually Amanda, Lee, and I walk to our cars with Kristen and Zach, but today Kristen hurried away from us, Zach in tow, so we wouldn't walk together. Damn it: I always read into things. She was in a hurry, it's not like she detests me. I went for a run at North Park, most of the snow having melted, but had to dodge pitfalls and death disasters in the winter-land. I wish it were warm. Chris left for his Small Group, and Lee and I watched We Were Soldiers and Lee got on the treadmill. We're both going to try and get in better shape: eating right and exercising. "The fat will melt right off," Dad says. He runs a lot, so he knows.

Thursday. This was the last day of Sophomore Testing, so it's back to 5:15 A.M. wake-up times from here on out. I ran on the treadmill for a good 20 minutes before school. I want to lose weight so bad! I've gotten into a new band, Imbortir, Chris showed them to me. I saw them in concert almost a year ago at the Cancer Walk. I picked up Pat D. after school: his sister is cool, though he doesn't think so. We got coffee and left the random cup on Jeff Sutton's door. Chris & Lee joined us at my place, and though most of the snow has melted, in the shadows behind the house there's still enough snow for a snowballs, and so we had a snowball fight. Mom & Dad had their Small Group, and our quartet went to K-Mart and then Kroger, just to get out of the house for a while. They left around 9:00. 

Friday. Kristen sang at G.R.I.P. this morning. I was nervous 'bout talking with her, being paranoid and all, and I backed down from talking to her and hated myself for it the rest of the day. Earlier this week I sent her an e-mail 'bout hanging out, haven't heard from her at all, it's seemed like she's been avoiding me, and the guys haven't helped, keep making me think it's spiraling out of control. When we walked back to our cars, Amanda saw Kristen and ran up to talk to her, and then she came back and said that Kristen hasn't even checked her email, has no idea about it, and she said the email was meant to go to Zach but there was a glitch in her email, so it went to her instead. I felt so relieved, the paranoia crumbling. Why do I always do this to myself? I worked 4-8:00 and have one heck of a canker core on my lip.

Saturday. Work was as easy as it could possibly be! It was warm today, high 60s and 70s. Storms coming soon, though. I'm excited: it's been forever since I've heard a thunderstorm! I went to setup at the YMCA after work, hung out with Pat D. for a while. 

Sunday. I'm doing cardiovascular exercises every day, as well as sit-ups, crunches, push-ups, the works. It was too cold to go biking this morning. Church was good, and Chris, Lee, Corey & I put on a playful skit for Mom. Corey, Lee, Chris and Ashlie came over, and we fixed quesadillas for lunch, watched some video tape from the Jeep ride that Chris filmed, and played pool. We went to 412 Movie Night at the futuristic-looking Rave theater. Chris & I sat in the front row. It was the movie Hildago. Dumbest movie ever. Chris & I were mocking it the entire time, so many laugh attacks. Chris and I were rolling over with Pharisee impressions. After the movie we returned to our place. Later on I took Corey to the YMCA, drove Chris & Lee home, ran by Drug-Mart and did some "Family Bonding" with Doogie. 

the 11th week

Hank & Ashlie!

My 17th Birthday! Amanda woke me up, hugged me in a great big bear hug, exclaimed, "Happy birthday!" She likes Lee. Mom & Dad got me a Passion timeline book, the full Message Bible, and a John Belushi poster from the movie Animal House. "Since you'll be going to college next year!" I took Lee home after school. Chris was sick all day. I helped Dad move our downstairs couch to the curb. We're painting the pool room, and the couch just takes up too much space. It used to be my bed, ha! Good times. The past is always pretty. ["Remember this."] I'm seeing the Passion of the Christ movie Sunday with Ricky & Josh from school, it should be fun. Mom and Dad took em and Amanda out for my birthday. We ate at Grindstone: steak, fries, bread, rice, a baked potato & sauteed shrimp. Yum! Then we all went to the Mall, and Amanda got some stuff from Hot Topic and Forever21. I thank God for giving me the gift of seventeen years.

Tuesday. I took Lee home after school and Chris came over. We played pool, messed around outside with a huge mallet and an iron crowbar. I almost hit a car head-on and Lee screamed his head off. I'm banned from "extra" driving this week, at least till Thursday. Chris opened the Jeep door and it hit a trash can; the door slammed shut and bruised his elbow something awful. There's even a small dent in the door now. Chris worked on his science project, a wake-up slapper, in our garage, and be broke Dad's drill-bit. Dad's not happy, especially with the dent in the Jeep's side door. Lee and Pat D. came over, Lee sporting his new electric guitar. We had spaghetti for dinner, and then we had Small Group. Jeff handed out books for us to read, we each have a copy of Wild at Heart. We prayed for one another. Back home I plugged in my extension cord, plugged in my crumbled lava light from two Christmases ago, and strung up multi-colored Christmas lights around my room. It's pretty bohemian.

Wednesday. Chris broke into our house late at night, and then called me at 3 A.M. to brag about how he did it. It's not hard when you know the garage door's unlocked. I decided to sleep in a little, tired from the phone call, and woke late: 6:40 A.M.! I rushed to school, made it on time. I took Lee home; he worked 5:30-9:30 at the music shop. My family and I ate at Olive Garden for Amanda's birthday, and then Mom went to her "Last Supper" small group. Our D-Group should do that sometime. Amanda and Ashlie went to their Small Group, their girls' D-Group. 

Thursday. Art turned into Study Hall. In Geometry we split up with partners and did worksheets. I picked up Lee from school, waited for Chris outside the Jr. High, didn't see him, so I drove away. Chris came running after us, saw the Jeep leaving. Disaster strikes! Chris showed me his "new Gibson": it's hilarious. We went back to my place, we played pool and made prank phone calls to numbers in the phone book, and then Mom served us a delicious pork supper. She ran off to Small Group. A big storm rolled through, blowing bottles off the street and into the windows. 75 mph winds! Pat D. came over and a laugh-fest ensued: Neo jokes, gay jokes, attacking one another, mad antics, weird noises, the usual hectic graves we dig.

Friday. "Back in the Day" I agonized over two things: (1) not being with Kristen, and (b) whether I should become a paleontologist. Now none of these bother me. Funny how time changes things. Lee & I went to G.R.I.P. in the music room at the high school before classes: it stands for Get Real In Prayer or something like that. After work I worked 4-8:00. When I got home Darrell & Rochelle were over, playing pool with Mom and Dad. I picked up Lee and we went to Erika S.'s graduation party. We got there pretty early, before people started arriving: it was me, Erika, Don, Angie, Amanda, Lee, Kristen, and Dustin D, and some of Erika's other friends I don't know. We had some cake and went into the decrepit barn where we played pool and ping-pong. Mom's mad about something Chris did, I don't even know what it was, but she says we can't hang out at the house tomorrow. Ricky said he can't go to see the Passion movie, and Josh can't, either. Kinda bummed out. But Chris and Lee spent the night, and Hank came over bearing the gift of Taco Bell. Hank fell asleep at the foot of my bed; Chris passed out crookedly on a half-deflated inflatable; Lee and I fell asleep in the bed, a long pillow dividing our swathes of land. 

Saturday. We fell asleep around 4 A.M. last night and went out for McDonald's breakfast at 8 A.M. Chris and Pat D. went to church practice at the Williams', and Lee & I went to Borders and 1/2 Price. We got to 1/2 Price and they were still closed, an old couple griping, "They're supposed to be open at 10:00, it's already 10:01!" Haha. We milled amidst the books and drank cups of nasty albeit free coffee. I got a hardcover edition of the Star Wars trilogy and the DVD of Schindler's List. We went back to my place, cleaned up from last night's antics, and shot some pool. Chris, Hank, and Dewenter were joined by us at Chris & Lee's. Pat D. had told Chris a secret about something he did, and no one knows why: Chris spreads secrets like sage-fire, evidently. Chris and Dewenter went for a walk to try and smooth things over, and Hank went to Ashlie's. Lee & I watched Super Troopers, which we rented from I.G.A. Chris & Pat returned from their walk, and Pat went with us down the street to a new local coffee shop. It's delicious, called Cafe A-Go-Go. I took everyone to the YMCA for church practice, and I was driving around the parking lot with Lee shrieking like he was an infected zombie, and I was swerving around cars screaming like he was a zombie. Chris and Pat D. were mortified. Lee and I went back to his place yet again, and we watched Schindler's List 'til midnight. It's a long movie. Chris fell asleep while eating pizza and I can't get the song Megalomaniac out of my head!

Sunday. I woke up Chris & Lee's, was too tired to go home last night. I grabbed McDonald's for breakfast and hurried to J.A.M. with Lee. I took Ashlie & Lee out to eat, then got another mocha at Cafe A-Go-Go. I took Lee home, picked up Josh, and we ended up seeing Passion. Josh liked it. I went to Lee's and hung out with him, cooked leftover subs from JAM. I ran media-shout at Student Revolution, there was a great video message called RAIN about those dark periods that drench us throughout life, dark periods that are meant to draw us toward God. Mindy's pregnant and we're all excited for her. Lee joked, "They're going to name it 'Anthony' after you!" and I exclaimed, "What a mistake!" I've been asking God to make me more outgoing, and over the last few weeks I've befriended some cool people: Katie, Bridget, Ashlie, Kristen, Chad, and Courtney and Carly, who know Pat and Chris and sometimes come to our morning and evening services. Great girls. God has blessed me with so many friends, so much love, such joy and peace; an adoring, loving, priceless family; and a charm that, when realized, can captivate. Sadly, I accidentally kicked Amanda at church and she collapsed in the middle of the YMCA corridor and was crying. I felt so bad. Chris completely blew off Megan, I felt so terrible for her. He's dancing around with Ally now. Kristen and I also talked a lot, and back in the day that would've filled me with so many ridiculous hopes and dreams. Now it did nothing, except warm my heart in friendship. I like that.

Jesus' name a swear word?

Jesus' Name a Swear Word

The other day at GRIP "Jake" asked us why people used Jesus' name in vain, such as swearing, "Jesus Christ!" We don't ever hear anyone yell when they stub their toe or slam their thumb under a hammer, "Mohammed!" or "Buddha!" or "Confuscious!" So what makes Jesus' name stick out so much? Well, I don't really have an answer. It's just interesting. Some people at GRIP said it's because people are offended by Jesus--yes, Jesus was offensive, the Gospel is offensive; some said it was because Jesus was real, his godlihood is real, and the Gospel is real--all very true. Maybe because he's the most famous person to ever live, across the universe? Maybe because to proclaim to be a follower of Jesus is to be hated, despised, made fun of, so they do a 180 and mock Jesus, to divorce from the unpopularity often associated with following after Jesus. I don't know.

But I do recall--I can't remember where or when--someone saying that Jesus' name being used as a swear word is terrible.

I disagree. Sure, using God's name in vain--Jesus' name in vain--is terrible. But is Jesus' name being used as a swear word so terrible? I might sound heretic, but I think it is an honor. No other person has their name turned into a swear word. It shows that Jesus makes people uncomfortable, is a heretic, and impacted the world so immensely that his very name is used as a curse.

Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we are to go out there and start using Jesus' name in vain. Don't. God says not to. I'm just asking you to politely look at it in a new light, a positive light. Our world is too filled with negativity. Besides, while I can't quite place it, I feel something lurking in this fact, that Jesus' name is a swear word, something pointing right to his divinity--for, as the Scriptures say, people turn against God, and Jesus is God.

the *tenth* week

Chris, Pat & Lee: best high school buds ever

Monday. I picked up Chris & Dewenter after school and we went to Family Christian. A reporter was there, asking us about our take on The Passion of the Christ, and Chris even got to show up on TV! I got a new Message Bible. We went by Salvation Army, and Pat D. got some new clothes. I got a coat rack, a book, and several types of incense, along with a candle and some incense cone burners. Pat D. and I did homework back at the house, and then we ran by Kroger. Chris was being immature, making messes, not cleaning up, throwing stuff at me. My patience ran dry and I grabbed a CD case and hurled it at him, hitting him bulls-eye in the shin. He was cringing in pain. Chris is a cool guy, but he can be annoying sometimes with his "preteen persona." Mom fixed a delicious fish dish with macaroni & cheese. Pat D. headed out and so did Chris, and I curled up in bed and went to sleep.

Tuesday. Chris, Lee, and Pat D. came over after school. Lee was "kicked out" of Forsake Me Not. He doesn't care, actually prefers it that way. Pat D. wanted to go to North Park so we did. He and Chris sprayed me with Axe deodorant on our walk down there, and I sprayed Chris back, and Lee sprayed water all over me. I ran off into the woods as the trio threw sticks at me. I ran to the Hilltop, a secret little knoll in the middle of the woods with a single fallen tree and beer cans littering the tall grass. Pat, Chris and Lee made their way up, and on the knoll Pat D. threw another stick at me, and I tripped over the fallen log and sprawled out in the ferns. I went to get up and Chris threw a rock at me, and it hit me in the throat. I could barely breathe. I pulled the Axe container from my pocket to get them back, and I charged after them all and they were running down the hillside, and I stumbled over a root and kept my balance for a moment; but then my hands jerked and I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes with the body-spray and I collapsed to the ground in agony. Pat D. ran over and grabbed the Axe and kept spraying me while I was down. Chris went to grab a rock to throw at me but ended up picking up dried dog poop. We brushed ourselves off and hurried back to the house, and I changed into new clothes. We ran by Jeff's place on our way to Small Group at Zach & Kristen's, and during Small Group I had to lead a sub-group of only girls on the subject of temptation. Ashlie found it hilarious. We ate at McDonald's afterwards, and I dropped Pat D. and Lee off at the Williams' and ran Ashlie home. She was getting out of the Jeep and I accidentally put the Jeep in reverse and hit the gas, and she nearly fell out. I couldn't stop laughing. 


Wednesday. Mom, Day, Ams and I went out to eat at Olive Garden, and I got their Seafood Portifino. I went over to Lee's afterwards. Chris was at his own small group. I felt kinda depressed most of the evening, feeling so rejected and alone. It happens. Sometimes I feel like everyone despises, loathes, and hates me. I feel left out, like I'm a burden. Hopefully these feelings vanish. Life is better when you're happy. How can I help people when it feels like I'm an unwanted, repulsive pest?


Thursday. I worked 4-7:00 after school, and then I picked up Chris & Pat D. and we went back to my place. My parents were having their usual Thursday night small group, so we went upstairs. Pat D. lost himself in Battlefield 1942 yet again--"This idiot is gonna get us killed... These people are so freaking stupid... none of these guys even know how to fight a war!" 


Friday. I still felt a little depressed, but it was wearing off. We had a power outage at school. I took Lee home, and in the school parking lot as we were leaving there was a three-car wreck. I worked 4-9:00, a very slow 5-hour shift. I work 9-3:00 tomorrow, and next week's going to feel like a vacation: Monday's my birthday, I work Friday (and only Friday), and I shouldn't have a whole lot of homework. After work I played some Bf1942 and looked up some info on the Peace Corps. I may look into it after college.


Saturday. I had two really weird dreams last night:


(1) Morgan from Geometry came over, and we were hitting it off real good, it was very promising, but then Dylan showed up, and she gave him all her attention and thus he swept her off her feet and stole her away from me. It made me mad.


(2) I was in a rocky valley pass. A death rider on a black horse galloped my way. I rolled out from under the trampling hooves, and then a demonic-looking goblin attacked me from the rocks, stabbed me in the arm, the leg, and the chest with some elvish three-pronged fork. I fought back, grabbed the fork, and stabbed the creature in its chest, over and over, until blood covered everything. The prongs were embedded in its scaly flesh, but I wrenched it out and kept stabbing it: in the face, the eyes, twice in the neck, and I cut open its cheeks. It screamed for mercy but it would not have it. Kinda messed up.


I burned a Boomshakalaka CD and blared it in my car when I picked up Lee after my 9-3:00 shift. We went to the Springboro High School Art Show. I have a charcoal drawing on display, it's a drawing of the Roman coliseum. Lee & I ate at Penn Station for dinner, and then we went back to his place where Chris, Pat D., and Hague (slash Hank) were prepping for tonight's Forsake Me Not show. All of them were 'too cool' for us when practicing for their show. Fools! Lee, Bryon, Debbi and I went to Centerville Music to buy Lee a new guitar, but the store was closed. Someone drove past us going 55 mph in a 35 mph zone, and Bryon flashed his lights, honked his horn, screamed at them. When we got back to the house the guys were gone, and Lee and I were going to spend the evening quietly at his place, but Ashlie's parents were going to the show (since Ashlie's dating Hank), and she offered to pick up Lee so he decided to go. Some people at 412 don't like Ashlie because she's perceived, in a sense, as Kristen's replacement, since Hank dated her right before dating Ashlie. I wanted Kristen and I couldn't get her. Kristen wanted Hank, but she couldn't keep him. It makes me INSANE, all this stupidity. 


Sunday. J.A.M. was fun but the kids were annoying, squawking like demon-possessed chickens. Mom taught our Sunday School class: she taught on servanthood, on how Jesus became a servant and lied down his life for us. Some students were baptized after church, it was super cool. Chris, Pat D. and Lee came over after church, and we ran to McDonald's for lunch. Chris & Pat D. decided to play a joke where they pretended to be asleep, and then they fell asleep for two hours. Their show last night was a disaster; Lee's so thankful he's out of the group. We went to the YMCA and joined up with the rest of 412 for an extended night of worship at a "torched" Shockwave at Wellspring Church. I didn't want to go, but Jeff was disappointed in me for not going, so I went. I rode shotgun with him in his new Expedition. The Shockwave was awesome: great worship, awesome prayer, heartwarming fellowship, a great message: Turn from Sin, Feast on God's Word, and God's Will Be Done! It was really windy and rainy during the drive home. I played some more Bf1942, read some more of James, and then hit the sack. Amanda is arguing with Dad again about something.

crises of spiritual identities

I believe I am among thousands--maybe millions?--across the United States--and the world--who, after seeing Passion, are feeling 'spiritually raw'. As I have said, a sick person doesn't realize how sick they are until they are shown someone who is really healthy. Lots of people--including myself--perhaps underestimated the power of Mel Gibson's movie, and the power of God to work through it. Lots of people, I believe, came face-to-face with the loving Messiah that day, not a Messiah on screen, but a Messiah who still lives. People are groping with questions; not just those who never made decisions for Christ, but also those who have pursued a lifelong relationship with Him. No one is exempt, because none of us are perfect--we all have our pitfalls, our sins, our dark secrets we hide from society, friends, families. But God knows these dark secrets. No need to bring them out of the closet for Him; he knows. And God is the only one who can heal us, the only one who can mend our crooked hearts, our stiff wills. I believe God has used this movie to illuminate the greatest passion ever, the passion that lasted 12 Hours, but the effects that will ring into eternity--forever and ever--literally. If we see the Passion movie over and over, will we be cured of our sicknesses? No. It's just a movie. But it can highlight where things are wrong in our lives, where we are falling short of the goal God has asked us to set our eyes upon. The Passion is a window--we need to step through that window, and it is a choice of willpower. Through Passion, a reminder of what Jesus went through for me, I have found where I need to really 'whip myself into line', spiritually. And I have to say, that if someone went into the theatre, saw the movie, saw what Jesus really went through, and walked out feeling prouder of himself, then he'd missed the whole point. I have yet, though, to see someone spiritually and emotionally untouched by this film.

the sixth week

this ain't your everyday carpenter

Monday. Art class was boring, and we had a review in Algebra. Hagan was talking 'bout Boris Yeltzik and Putin with Elana, the most adorable Ukrainian girl ever. Our chemistry teacher went berserk in class, later apologized. Mr. Wertz has no control over study hall, and despite doing lots of homework over the weekend, I'm absolutely screwed in Accounting. I worked 4-8:00. This week I'm seeing the new Passion of the Christ movie, the one directed by Mel Gibson and starring the actor from The Thin Red Line as Jesus. It's R-rated, so some people say it's evil. That's dumb. This is a realistic movie portraying the actual historicity of Jesus' passion, the most momentous event in human history!

Tuesday. I took Lee home from school, and I waited for Chris at the bus-stop, crouched behind my Jeep. The bus pulled up. The bus driver told all the kids on the bus, "There's a Jeep parked on the road with people hiding behind it. No one talk to them!" Chris rolled his eyes, mumbled, "Oh, no..." End result: Chris & Lee came over, and we played pool and hung out till Jeff, Zach, and Dewenter came over for our D-Group. Jeff had a book about the Passion movie, filled with graphic images. We talked about the big question that's blowing up in the media: "Who really did kill Jesus?" I say the Jews squeezed the trigger. 

Wednesday. I dropped Ams off at Aly's after school. Chris came over, and then Dewenter came by. We burned plastic bottles into contorted figures with lighters. We played some more pool; I'm kinda getting bored of it. We got into my Jeep and picked up Amanda, then picked up Ashlie, and we dropped them off at the Howard's, and I dropped Chris off at the Lloyd's for his small group, and I picked up Lee, grabbed food from I.G.A., ate fast, and then we went back to the Howard's, picked up the girls, and then we dropped Ashlie off. We drove from the Howard's to her house with the windows down and the A.C. blasting, our bodies freezing in the extreme early-February night cold. Back at the house Lee was picked up by Debbie, and Dewenter was picked up by his sister. It was a wildly hectic day, and we're all super pumped about the Passion movie. Mel Gibson is awesome in SIGNS. George Bush, Jr. is opposing gay marriage. I think gay marriage is awful. Homosexuality is awful. It pains and angers me that people are accepting of it ["And it pains and angers me now to know that I actually wrote and believed this..."]. Catholicism is more accepting of it, but I think Catholicism in general shies from the truth, though there are certainly devout Jesus-followers in their ranks (though all the molestation does make this hard to believe).

Thursday. I'm starting to get mixed feelings about The Passion of the Christ, and I couldn't stop thinking about it at work. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited about it. But I feel that the public's responses to it are just plain wrong. People are going to the movies to "find Jesus" when Jesus isn't found in a movie, but in our hearts, our minds, our souls, molding us, beside us. People seem to think that if they see this movie, it will move them to spiritual tears; but will the on-screen message stick? This movie, it's a piece of art, a wonderful piece of art, and nothing more: a sad but true story with a delightfully happy ending despite the grotesque carnage along the way. I think for Christians like me, it can be an eye-opener, a confirmation, or even "just another Jesus movie." I think it'll move--spiritually, emotionally, and mentally--those currently following Christ. But is it a good witnessing tool, mentioning nothing of the origin of sin, salvation, or even most of the Message? It's an artisan depiction of Isaiah 53, and those who aren't Christians probably won't be swooned to Jesus by it, but repelled, as has been the case of most non-Christian critics. The thing that draws people into contact with Jesus isn't a "movie of the year" by an anti-Semite but real friendships and relationships with loving followers of Christ. After my 4-7:00 shift, I did a lot of work on my Accounting project: I'm still screwed, but I don't care.

Friday. After school I worked 4-9:00, and on my 1/2 hour break I drove to Chris' house to hang out, but he was on a walk with Pat Dewenter. I talked with Debbie instead, then cruised around the neighborhood, then went back to work for another two hours, and some TV comedian came through our I.G.A. buying steaks. I spent the night at Chris' and bought peanuts from the U.D.F. in town, where I saw Mom & Dad refueling after their own dinner. Debbie bought snacks and chips. Lee came home from work around 10:30, and we went to Applebee's. It was Happy Hour and lots of people were silly and drunk. Dewenter and Chris went to bed early in Luke's room, and Lee and I were up until 3:00 A.M. I'm seeing The Passion of the Christ tomorrow, and I'm more excited than ever. Megan in Geometry says it really hit her hard, and she isn't even religious. Dylan & Tyler saw it Wednesday, and they cried. Vicki says people coming through I.G.A. say it's unbelievable. Vicki's a seeker, and she said the movie emphasized "just how much God did for us." 

Saturday. Debbie woke us up and we threw on our clothes. We took the long way to the theater, got in with only minutes to spare. I was so scared we were going to miss it. We found seats--I sat next to Matt & Lee--and the lights dimmed and the movie rolled. It was astounding, one of the best movies I've ever seen. While I didn't break into tears, I was choking when (1) Mary tried to get to Jesus but was burred away, and (2) when Jesus cried out in pain, "Father, forgive them!" The graphics were intense, the movie's stuck in everyone's head. The drive to the movie was loud and boisterous, but absolutely quiet on the way back: we were all deep in thought. Mel Gibson did a good job at hurling it home. I believe I left that theater changed. We ate dinner at Wendy's with Ashlie, Aly & Amanda. We parted ways, and my family went up to Columbus to the Witt's to celebrate some birthdays and eat delicious food. One of Megan & Matthew's friends read Hours of Horror three times, she loved it so much! We played Ghosts in the Graveyard and walked along the train tracks. Hannah was sandwiched and Bailey fish-hooked. Back home and before bed Mom said, "Christ did a lot for us, didn't he?" I nodded. "Yeah, he did."

Sunday. It was a fun, exciting, happy day. Zach, Lee, Brandon & I helped out Brian with J.A.M. at church, the little kids' service. We didn't have any student classes today: Roger spoke on the Passion of the Christ. It was a powerful sermon, lots of people were crying. The worship was intense, and we had a special communion (with Hawaiian sweet bread!) set out on tables. After church Ashlie, Amanda & I had lunch at the China Garden Buffet, and then we went by Chris & Lee's. It was boring: Chris was sleeping and Lee was working on a history project. Corey was there, and he came back to our house with Ashlie & Ams and me. We trekked down to the woods at North Park and hiked the slopes and waded after some kids' lost ball in the creek. We went to 1/2 Price Books and E.B. Games, and we went to Lazer Web in Centerville with a bunch of people from church. I got second place in the first game, fourth place in the second. Corey went home, and the girls and I ate out at McDonald's before we took Ashlie home. I finally caught up in Accounting! Ashlie is mad at her boyfriend (Pat) Hague; Megan's mad at Amanda; and Amanda's upset over Brad. So much drama. Oh: Dad baptized Mom in our bathtub today!