All Caps is annoying, and using more than one exclamation mark can be overwhelming; but they convey my excitement and joy at the fact that the Wisconsinite and I have officially been together for three months(!!!!).
Not a day goes by that I don't long to be with her in Wisconsin, for both of us to be starting a "new chapter". Perhaps "chapter" isn't the best word: this, us here and now, that's a "new chapter," but Wisconsin, that's the beginning of a "new life", for both of us. At the end of my chaotic days, when I'm so exhausted and drained, I think of her, and I imagine what it will be like for us up there, and I find myself falling asleep thinking about spending the rest of my life with her. That thought--spending the rest of my life with her--used to be a fantasy, something I sought to extinguish from my hopes and dreams. Those days are passed, and I couldn't be happier.
It's thrilling to be hammering out the practicalities of moving up there: our upcoming engagement, finding an apartment, looking for jobs. I've moved from the realm of fantasizing about our future together to the two of us actually planning out all the practicalities. It's exciting, and stressful; and I'm so encouraged by her constant support, the way she meets me in my stress and knows just how to help.
My love and affection for her does nothing but grow. There's a quick in my step and joy on my face. There's the added strength to each day of knowing she loves me and that we'll be together in person soon enough, embarking on a different epoch in our lives. Two vines growing alone, coming together, intertwining: neither vine is the same, and a stronger, more beautiful, and prosperous vine emerges. I yearn to do ministry side-by-side, and I long to devote myself to her as my primary ministry, to serve her, to sacrifice for her, to protect her, to cultivate her so that she flourishes as the woman God desires her to be.
There's no inkling of doubt about it: I love her far more than I've ever loved anyone, and I'm eager (but patient) to take her as my wife and build a family with her. To put it in stark and real terms, she's the woman I've dreamed of, the woman I've longed for, the woman for whom I've prayed for as long as I've dreamt of being a husband and a father. All those years praying for my "unnamed future wife" have coalesced onto her, and I'm so dumbstruck at how blessed I am to call such a beautiful, godly, sincere, affectionate, and supportive woman the One I love and the One I with whom I'm going to share my life and have children. I thank God morning, day, and night for her, and that's not a thankfulness that will cease.
No comments:
Post a Comment