the end of the month

pre-church selfies. #kidsnotpictured

Over these past couple days I've just been overwhelmed by two things: 

(1) the ungratefulness in my heart and 

(2) all the blessings in my life for which I should be grateful. 

Here's something I've struggled with my entire life: focusing on those things that cause me angst and anxiety at the expense of all the wonderful things that are present in my life. It's ridiculous, really: why focus on the 5% in life that you'd love to change at the cost of blinding yourself to the 95% of pure awesomeness that you call your own? The truth is that though the past year did not go as I had hoped or planned, not all is a loss, and when I go to sleep at night, I see all that I have to be thankful for: amazing friendships, a spectacular family, and a wonderful woman to call my own with two girls who love me to the moon and back. Ashley has put up with so much from me, she has shown such astonishing patience, and she's always there for me, day or night, no matter what it is I need. She is the definition of a supportive woman, and every time I hear a Jamaican sing about his girl, I can't help but think of her:

when I need motivation

my one solution is my queen

'cause she stays strong.

She is always in my corner

right there when I want her.

All these other girls are tempting

but I'm empty when you're gone.

Oh I think that I've found myself a cheerleader.

She is always right there when I need her.

She walks like a model.

She grants me my wishes like a genie in a bottle.

She gives me love and affection.

Baby did I mention you're the only girl for me,

no, I don't need a next one.

Mama loves you, too, she thinks I made the right selection.

Now all that's left to do

is just for me to pop the question.

Now, in regards to the last line, that's not happening anytime soon.
(but that's not entirely out of the question)
And with a woman like Ashley, it's close to a No-Brainer.