Caleb and I lied in our separate beds last night, the clock on my cellphone glowing 2:47 a.m. I stared at the ceiling and listened to the rain tapping at the window. My voice broke the silence: "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, Man," he said. "You okay?"

I asked, refusing to avert my eyes from the dark ceiling, "Do you ever feel like a lonely rhinoceros, wandering the empty sands of the Namibian Desert, searching for an oasis but finding none, slowly withering away until your legs give out and vultures pick you apart as you lie dying and decrepit on the scorching sands?"

After a pause, "No. But I'm assuming you meant that allegorically. The rhinoceros is you. The desert is life. The oasis is... Julie?"

"No. The oasis is satisfaction and fulfillment. Peace and joy. Real life. Something... more than this. More than this life I live now."

"Oh. And your lying in the sand dying and being picked apart by vultures? What does that mean?"

"Other than it being a purely cinematic climax, I guess it could refer to my giving up and resigning from the dream I have for my life."

"Well," Caleb said. "Maybe the oasis is just over the next mountain of sand? You never know. You just have to keep pushing."

I lied awake until nearly 5:00 a.m.

"300"
Based on Frank Miller's Graphic Novel about
the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C.

Being an avid fan of ancient history, you can imagine I'm quite excited about this movie, which comes out quite soon. I first heard about it in October, and while I usually do not anticipate movies, this one is an exception. The battle sequences look amazing, the suspense and drama seem unparalleled, and the actors apparently play their roles extremely well. It is made and directed by the same directors of "Sin City," which I thought was really good. A lot of people made a big hoopla about it, but I think "Sin City" is amazing.

"SNL: The Perfect Gift"
Warning: This Video Contains Some Possibly Offensive Material

I think watching the video captures my thoughts best. It's hilarious. There are some things we try not to laugh at, and this might be one of them, but when it boils down to it... It's hilarious. "Thanks, Amos, for showing this to me a few weeks ago."

receiving salvation, part II: repentance

The scriptures are very clear that repentance is a necessary avenue to take in receiving God’s free gift of salvation; just look at a handful of scriptures: Lk 9.23, Lk 13.3, Acts 2.38, Acts 16.30, Acts 26.20, Rom 6.1-2, and 2 Pet 3.9. The importance of repentance is seen vividly in Heb 6.1—it is the first principle in the Christian message! Sinners in need of forgiveness are called to repentance (Mt 3.2, Lk 5.32, Acts 8.22, 26.20), repentance is linked to the forgiveness of sins (Mk 1.3, Lk 3.3, 24.47, Acts 2.38, 3.19, 5.31, 8.22), and it leads to life (Acts 11.8) and salvation (2 Cor 7.10). “Why is repentance necessary?” Because the nature of salvation (being saved from sin) requires a hatred of sin; when confronted with the gospel, one must make a choice: sin or salvation. The one not chosen must, by nature, be “cast off.”

So the question arises: “What is repentance?” Biblical repentance includes a hatred of sin; instead of loving sin, we hate it as God hates it (godly sorrow); this is different from hating the consequences of sin (worldly sorrow) (2 Cor 7.10). It includes a remorse for sin, an experience of guilt and sorrow over sin, s seen in David’s life (Ps 51.17); again, this is a godly sorrow. It includes a desire to be rid of sin (again, Ps 51) and a subsequent determination to be rid of seen, fleshed-out in a sincere commitment to forsake sin and walk in obedience to the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Sadly, protestants often have an anemic view of repentance (saying, “I’m sorry, God, please forgive me,” is not biblical repentance). Repentance involves a change of one’s entire lifestyle, a change from a self-indulgent, self-honoring, self-serving, and self-loving life to a God-indulging, God-pleasing, God-honoring, God-serving, and God-loving life. In order for us to truly examine the realities of repentance in our world under the new covenant, we must first look at repentance in the light of the New Testament. In the New Testament, the meaning of repentance is heightened. The gospel’s call to repentance begins with John the Baptist (Mt 3.5-12, Lk 3.7-14) and is then taken up by Jesus throughout his ministry. There are three Greek words the New Testament uses for repentance. The first is metamelomai, and this refers to a change of mind that produces regret or remorse on account of sin; there is no necessary change of heart (this is the “repentance” Judas experienced in Mt 27.3 after betraying Jesus). Sadly, many protestants reflect only this part of repentance; to many protestants, repentance is saying, “I’m sorry,” and going about life. This is, as I’ve said, a very anemic—and deadly—view of repentance. The second Greek word is metanaeo, and this is a change in one’s mind (like metamelomai) that is coupled with a change in purpose, as the result of the knowledge. It ties directly into the third Greek word (metanoia) that is the “climax” of repentance, where a change of mind and purpose produces a change of life (to which the forgiveness of sins is promised). The call to repentance is a plea to turn from sin/idols (whatever they may be) and to embrace the living God (Acts 14.15); it is a call to turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to the dominion of God (Acts 26.18). True repentance, then, involves a true sense of one’s own guilt and sinfulness (Psalm 51), an apprehension of God’s mercy (Ps 130.4) (experienced by Christians in Christ), an actual hatred of sin (Ps 119.128, Job 42.5-6, 2 Cor 7.10), a turning from sin to God, and the pursuing of a holy life in an intimate relationship with God. It cannot be stressed enough: repentance is not ONLY a change in mind; it is a new life of turning to God (1 Thess 1.9), and it involves a new way of living life (new behavior) (Acts 26.20). The New Testament’s cry is indisputable: “Repent and turn to God!” Finally, the New Testament views repentance (like faith) as a gift of God (Acts 5.31, 11.15-18, 2 Tim 2.25).

Repentance is needed under the new covenant, and it was needed under the old covenant as well. Israel’s turning back to God in 2 Chr 7.14 is viewed as repentance. Repentance in the Old Testament is seen as an abandonment of the sin-life and embracing the God-life; it is abandoning a life pursuing sin and embracing a life guided by God’s law (Torah) and His will for peoples’ lives. Three main Hebrew words are used for repentance: shuva has to do with one’s turning from serving sinful idols to serving the one true God, and it involves faith; thus true repentance is turning to God. The second Hebrew word is sar/sur, and this refers to one’s turning his or her back on evil; Job was a righteous man not because he was perfect and without sin, but because he turned his back on evil after he committed it. The third Hebrew word is naham, and this means “to change your life and be comforted.” A change of life is necessary, and repentance leads to God-given comfort. When one explores repentance in the Old Testament, he or she will see that repentance is seen as an act with stages. Part One (“Sin”) has two parts: a public confession to those involves and a private confession before God. Part Two (“A Plea for Mercy”) involves an appeal to God for His mercy (Hebrew words used for mercy include hesed [“faithful mercy, loving-kindness”, which is similar to grace; this shows that God is faithfully merciful], rahum [compassionate mercy], hen [compassion in the face of plight], and hus [great mercy]. Part Two also includes a submission to God’s judgment and authority: “God, you are just in how You judge me.” It is a confession that God is not to blame for our sin; no, we are the only culprit. It is an admittance to God that His judgment is just… but it is also a plea, “Please, don’t judge me even though You have the right and I deserve it!” Part Three (“Divine Act”) includes a plea to God for a change of heart and life (truly, a plea for a miracle!) and admittance to God: “You must change me! I cannot change myself!” Part Four (“The Vow”) includes a vow of a new lifestyle. The vow is hard, especially because of “besetting sins” that ensnare humanity (peoples’ “secret sins”). This vow is not just a vow for a new lifestyle, but a vow for a new future.

But how does faith and repentance work together? It would seem that they rubbed together in friction. The opposite, however, is true. When looking at faith and repentance, we must look at it from a Hebraic perspective. “How did the Jews view faith and repentance?” To the Jews, repentance and faith were intimately connected: one could not have faith without repentance, and one could not have repentance without faith. So repentance comes with genuine faith—one cannot have biblical faith without biblical repentance, and vice versa. Faith and repentance can be seen as two aspects of the same movement (this is why New Testament preaching often calls for either faith or repentance alone, for the hearers knew that the two are intimately connected). Faith includes repentance; one cannot assent to the truth of the gospel and trust in Christ without this “genuineness” being “backed-up” by repentance.

“How can I tell if my repentance is real and not just a sham?” Biblical repentance shows itself in “fruit… keeping with repentance” (Mt 3.8); repentance is shown true in deeds (Acts 26.20); it is shown true in a changed life. Saving repentance is not the fruit of repentance (this is legalism), but true repentance produces fruit (if there is no fruit of repentance, then there is no true biblical repentance; see John 14.15 and 15.1-11).

Again, it cannot be stressed too much that biblical repentance is a moral act involving the turning of the whole person in spirit, mind and will to the consent and subjection to the will of God.

Thursday afternoon, April and I talked about suffering and the role it plays in the evolution of our identity. Somewhere in the conversation, I said what is the headline of my blog: "Suffering, no matter how you look at it, breaks us. But as we lie in our brokenness, we have three options: we can remain in our broken states and bury our heads in the sand, we can try to piece ourselves back together, or we can rise up on the wings of eagles and take the broken pieces of our lives and fuse them together into a mosaic masterpiece that makes our lives before the suffering fade in comparison."

There's no getting around the fact that suffering has been thrust upon me. No matter which angle you explore it from, my life over the past four months has been far from enjoyable. Yes, I've had my moments of laughter and joy, but overall my life has been scarred with a whole host of emotional, spiritual, and psychological suffering. In my counseling sessions, we are beginning to see that this suffering did not begin when Julie broke up with me; rather, the breakup acted as a catalyst for a volcanic eruption spewing forth a plethora of bottled-up and masked emotions, thoughts, and feelings.

I stand on the threshold where I have a decision to make: which of the three routes will I pursue? Will I remain in my brokenness? No. Will I simply try to go back five months ago and restart there, pretending none of this ever happened? No. I will take this suffering and use it as a tool to evolve. I will become stronger, wiser, and build my character--all with God's help, of course. I will allow it to shape me into the person whom He wants me to be.

***

And, totally unrelated but fun nonetheless, here are some pictures I took of my humble occupation (Hilltop Coffee Shop) as we shut down for the night after all the customers were shooed out. Caleb is the supervisor working behind the counter (the tall guy, my best friend at college), Kyle (one of my other best friends), and Lizzie (again, one of my other best friends!).

receiving salvation, part I: faith

While many Christian denominations disregard or sleight the importance of repentance, confession, and baptism in the receiving process of salvation, hardly any will disregard faith as important (save for such denominations holding universal approaches to salvation). The scriptures clearly teach in blatant form the necessity of faith in experiencing salvation. Just explore these verses and see for yourself: Mk 1.14-15, Mk 16.16, John 3.16-18, John 5.24, John 6.46-51, John 8.24, Acts 16.29-33, Rom 3.21-26, Rom 10.9-13, Gal 2.15-16, Eph 2.8-10, Heb 11.6, and 1 John 3.23. The scriptures view faith as a “stepping-forward,” not into darkness as some presume (“blind faith” advocates), but rather a “stepping-forward” into light.

But what is faith? Heb 11.1 says that faith is being sure of what is hoped for and certain of what is not yet seen. Phil 1.27 states that the mind is involved in faith, and 2 Thess 2.13 emphasizes a consent to something as true. Biblical faith has, at the center of its being, the aspect of trust, though this trust is preceded by the assent of the gospel as true. The two main Greek words used in the New Testament for faith (pistos and pisteuo) reflect these two main connotations of faith. Faith begins with assent and belief; this is an act of the mind, a judgment of the intellect that a particular statement or idea is true. Faith thus involves the knowledge of something (John 10.38) and the assent of the will to that knowledge (1 John 2.3). This assent is the assent of the truth we hear through the testimony of other people. It is an assent to the truth of Christ’s testimony (John 14.6, 18.37) and to the testimony of the apostles and prophets and seen in biblical writings (Eph 2.20). It is a belief that the testimony is true without firsthand experience of that which is being testified (2 Cor 5.7, Heb 11.1, 1 Pet 1.8-9). This is not a blind faith, as many assume, but, rather, is backed-up by reason, logic, and evidence. One can believe the gospel to be true but that is not enough (as will be explored in a moment); one must believe the gospel to be true and commit oneself to the implications of this belief; this is true, biblical faith. This is where trust comes in: it is the decision of the will to act upon the truth that is assented to. Trust is a personal surrender to the implications and consequences of the truth, a personal surrender of everything we are and everything we have to Christ (2 Tim 1.12), knowing that Christ will take care of us. We are to trust in Christ alone for our salvation; trust is relying on God alone for salvation (Gal 2.16, Phil 3.9, John 3.16-26, Acts 10.43). The sinner, in faith, believes in the truth of Christ and runs to him, throwing his sins at God’s feet and trusting Christ alone for salvation; it is an embrace of the gospel with one’s entire being (1 Thess 2.13). So biblical faith has two primary aspects: assent and trust. Some Christians make the mistake of disregarding trust and holding onto assent all on its own. However, faith as assent only is hopeless: demons assent that the biblical God is the true God (Jas 2.19-20), and demons believe Jesus is His Son (Mk 1.24, 5.7); however, they do not experience salvation. Why? Because they are not committed to His will (an exploration of salvation in the roles of angels will not be given here). So assent must be followed by trust! Jas 2.17-26 emphasizes in striking language that assent-only belief is useless, and we see in the gospel narratives that many Pharisees believed Jesus’ testimony but refused to commit for fear of their peers (John 12.42): they missed out on salvation. In the New Testament, faith involves assent and trust, and in the Old Testament, it was the same: the Jews assented to YHWH being the one true God, and they committed their lives to Him (at least the pious ones did).

How does biblical faith come about? It begins through teaching and hearing (Rom 10.14-17), and the hearer of the teaching must be preceded by a willful assent to the teachings as true and a commitment to them; thus their will is renewed (or touched) by God (1 Cor 2.14, 2 Cor 4.4). In this sense, the mind becomes enlightened (John 6.44, Acts 13.48, 2 Cor 4.6, Eph 1.17-18), and the hearer of the gospel thus assents to its truth and puts his or her trust in it. Faith, it must be stressed, too, is a mystery that cannot be peeled apart: it is a gift from God (Eph 2.8), and yet it is an attitude of the spirit freely exercised (John 14.1, Acts 16.31); so faith is both a divinely-bestowed gift and an uncoerced human activity. Quite the paradox!

“So what is biblical faith’s role in salvation?” First, it brings freedom from condemnation (i.e. justification) (John 5.24, Rom 8.1). Second, it brings participation in the divine life (John 14.19). Third, it brings us to peace and friendship with God (reconciliation) (Rom 5.1). Fourth, it brings us sanctification (we are made holy) (Acts 26.18). Most importantly, God’s saving grace as always been received in faith. We see this in both the Old Testament (Gen 14.6, 2 Chr 20.20, Jonah 3.5, Hab 2.4) and the New Testament (John 1.12, 3.15-18, 36, 6.47, 20.31). The very theme of Romans (“man is justified by faith apart from the works of the Law”) plays into this very well.

“Can we tell if we have true faith?” Some people believe that one cannot really tell whether or not their faith is genuine or not; however, the scriptures are very clear about this. In answer to this question, they scream, “Yes! You can tell!” 1 Cor 13.5 tells us to test ourselves to see if we are really in the faith. How do we do this? Simple: if our faith is real, it will show itself in “fruit.” “Fruit” does not mean how many people we lead to Christ; I have seen someone terrified for their salvation because they had not yet led anyone to Christ, so I stress this heavily: “fruit” refers to the lifestyle we live. Is our lifestyle radiant of Christ? Is it obedient? Is it a lifestyle of pursuing the will of God? Is our lifestyle different from when we did not have faith? If so, we’ve produced fruit; if not, we have not produced fruit. Our “fruit” will not be perfect: no one is totally perfect, and so no one will totally obey; but those with genuine faith will desire and pursue obedience to God’s will. The one whose faith is shown false by lack of fruit stands condemned, for their faith is fake, even if they are convinced it is true.

One very important topic for discussion is the “conflict” of faith and works. The great question is, “How does faith tie in with good behavior, good works, and obedience to God? Can we get by without obeying God if we have faith?” Behind this question, I believe, lies two polar motivations: either a person genuinely wants to know because they truly love God and are looking for answers to their questions, or a person wants a loophole because he or she wants “fire insurance” from God while having no real love for Him or desire to do what He wants. This conflict arises from the (apparently) two contradictions between major biblical writers, the Apostle Paul and the brother of Jesus, James: Paul says, “Genuine faith is expressed in ethical behavior,” and James says, “Genuine faith is intimately coupled with its expression in good works.” How do we reconcile these statements? Two models have been given for this reconciliation. The first is the “Faith & Works Apart” model; it states: “In order for one to experience salvation, one must have faith, live a lifestyle of repentance, confess Jesus as YHWH, be baptized, and (incorrectly) do good works.” This model is unbiblical. The biblical model states: “In order for one to experience salvation, one must live a lifestyle of repentance, confess Jesus as YHWH, be baptized, and have faith; this faith, if genuine, will produce good works naturally.” Therefore, faith does not include works, but it produces works. One can state it this way: “When a person puts trust in Jesus Christ and surrenders his or her entire life to him, the implications of this decision are good works.” This ties in with the question, “How do we know if our faith is genuine?” If “fruit” (which is a changed lifestyle, including good deeds) is present.

It is genuine belief and faith in Christ that brings salvation. How can we tell if our belief is genuine or not? We can tell by our repentance. Christ says that if we do not repent, we will perish. This is not legalism. Christ is saying, “If your faith is real, you’ll be saved. And real faith is accompanied by real repentance.” The Jewish view of faith has, at its heart, repentance. We must understand this. Belief—even “serious” belief—is empty without repentance.

One might ask (and many do), “What if my faith is frail, even doubtful at times?” The right answer: “The power is not in the faith itself, but in the object of faith, who is Christ. Even if your faith is, at times, paper-thin, if you still live a life commitment to Jesus Christ even when it hurts, you are doing okay.”

I got a book from the campus bookstore called "Healing is a choice." It targets emotional healing in particularly. I've needed a book to read in my spare time, and seeing my current circumstances, I picked up this one in the hope that it may shed light on some ways I can further my emotional healing. According to the author (and I agree with him), God wants to heal us, but we have some decisions and actions we must make as well. There is no quick-easy fix for healing those scars that have left us broken and bleeding.

Some people believe that if emotional wounds are left untouched, they'll fade with time. He counters this by saying, "A physical wound must be cleaned and medicated rather than ignored. Emotional and spiritual wounds also need attention. They don't just simply fade away." (viii) He continues, "God built... emotional and spiritual healing ability into must of us. If the ability to heal were not there, loss after loss, piling pain on top of pain, would so overwhelm us that we could not continue. We would lose our minds and not go on."

How do we tap into this healing ability, though? The first step, obviously, is prayer. When searching for healing, most people just stick to praying. The author does not believe that this is enough. In some cases prayer brings about instantaneous healing, but most of the time it does not. Prayers can go unanswered for years. Throughout his book, the author outlines several different ways to pursue true healing. However, some people miss the simple step of prayer because they often are afraid of rejection: "I don't want to pray for healing, because if I don't receive it, then I've been rejected by God." We must remember God's promise that He will give us what we desire as long as it is in accordance with His divine will.

A great danger in pursuing healing is the idea that God wants to heal us instantaneously. "We come to believe that God wants us to be instantly healed, and sometimes we demand it, but that is usually not the case. God rarely provides an instant fix to our problems, because it does little to change our hearts or grow our characters. As a result, we either stay stuck in our difficult lives or finally decide to do things God's way--or we at least come to believe that our own way may not be the best way." (xxiii)

The author stresses one point with abandon: God wants to heal us. He refers back to the passage in John 5 where Jesus approaches a diseased man and asks, "Do you want to get well?" God is asking us the same question: "Do you want to get well?" Do I want to get well? Yes! I do not want to be stuck in this awful misery. I want to taste again the great joy and peace of being in a deep, rich, beautiful communion with God. Jesus said to the diseased man, "Take up your mat and walk." Just as the diseased man had a job to do in order to be healed by Jesus, so we, too, have specific tasks to bring God's marvelous healing into our lives.

As he sums up the introduction, the author says:

"Don't be discouraged.
Don't lose hope.
God has not given up on you,
so don't give up on God or His plan.
God has given you favor.
God loves you so much.
He wants the best for you." (xxv)

I have a feeling that I'll love this book or hate it. I'm generally reluctant to explore self-help books, but after the author shared his own story of a heart-wrenching divorce and how he was able to experience healing, I figure that if this man's doing okay then maybe his words can help.

"Why is salvation conditional?"

In my experience in various ministerial roles, I have come across a false belief that Romans 8.38-39 tells us that salvation is unconditional because God always loves us; this interpretation (known as a sort of proof-texting) ignores other such statements as John 3.16-18. Thus salvation itself is conditional, though God’s love is not. He deeply loves us, likes us, and desires us in our worst moments, whether we are Christians or not. “Then how come hell exists?” Because a God of love cannot be separated from a God of justice; God’s justice commands that those who do not embrace His gift of salvation be given what they deserve for the (sinful) lives they have lived.

So now we must explore why salvation is conditional. It is simple: it is conditional because mankind has free will. Even in the fallen state, mankind has free will—our wills are not totally incapacitated or depraved. Thus all people who hear the word of the gospel have a choice of the will to either embrace Christ or to reject him. God set the universe up this way, where we have a choice to run to Him or to run away from Him. He will not force us in either direction, for this goes against His character of love, and so the choice of salvation is up to us as individuals. The great question Joshua asked the Israelites is now asked to all people who have heard the word of the gospel: “Whom will you follow?” Will we follow Christ and receive salvation, or will we follow pseudo-gods and reject salvation? It is entirely up to us. This point cannot be stressed enough.

“If salvation is conditional, then it’s not free!” some will object. In answer to this objection, I say, “No, salvation is free… and God has given us a map to receive the free gift. He has told us how to receive it.” And thus we have the conditions for salvation. Look at it this way: someone has a million dollars in a safe-deposit box waiting for you at the bank. It’s all yours! But you have to drive to the bank, show your I.D., get the key, and unlock the safe to get the money. Does this make the one million dollars any less free? No way! It’s a free gift, but it must be received. This is a crude analogy, so I offer up a better one. Let’s say that a parent is holding out a new toy to his son. The son reaches out and grabs the toy. Is the gift free? Yes. But the son still had to reach out and grab it; these were the conditions for his free gift. “But that’s legalism!” some will exclaim. No, it’s not. And while a full discourse on the meaning of legalism and its non-rule in salvation cannot be given here, suffice it to say that nowhere in the New Testament are the four conditions of salvation viewed by Christians as works (with the exception of the “hot topic” baptism). So, as the saying goes, “a gift offered is not necessarily a gift received.” God offers the free gift of salvation, but not all will receive it. Not everyone will go to the bank for their one million dollars, and not every son will reach out to take the free toy. God calls sinners to Him, but sinners have a choice to heed the call. If we receive the gift as God has told us to, we will get it! But if we do not receive the gift as He has called us to, we will not.

The conditions for receiving the gift of salvation have, in some ways, changed between the Old Covenant and the New Covenant (though, as Paul makes clear in his letter to the Romans, the basic precepts remain the same). When examining the New Testament’s statements of the conditions of salvation (faith, repentance, confession, and baptism), one must come to face the fact that this is how God has made it. If someone does not like one of the conditions for receiving salvation, he or she has no say in it. “Who can bargain with God and win?” Certainly Job found that the answer was, “No one.” “Who can wrestle with God and win?” Certainly Jacob learned Job’s lesson, too! No matter how much we cry and whine about something we do not like about how God has set up salvation to be received, it doesn’t change a thing. In God’s sovereignty, in His wisdom, He has decided to give His free gift of salvation—through Christ and Christ alone—to all people dependent upon them meeting the conditions He has set forth in His wisdom. The rest of this survey will examine the different conditions for salvation (beginning with faith and continuing through repentance, confession, and baptism).