Caleb and I lied in our separate beds last night, the clock on my cellphone glowing 2:47 a.m. I stared at the ceiling and listened to the rain tapping at the window. My voice broke the silence: "Are you awake?"
"Yeah, Man," he said. "You okay?"
I asked, refusing to avert my eyes from the dark ceiling, "Do you ever feel like a lonely rhinoceros, wandering the empty sands of the Namibian Desert, searching for an oasis but finding none, slowly withering away until your legs give out and vultures pick you apart as you lie dying and decrepit on the scorching sands?"
After a pause, "No. But I'm assuming you meant that allegorically. The rhinoceros is you. The desert is life. The oasis is... Julie?"
"No. The oasis is satisfaction and fulfillment. Peace and joy. Real life. Something... more than this. More than this life I live now."
"Oh. And your lying in the sand dying and being picked apart by vultures? What does that mean?"
"Other than it being a purely cinematic climax, I guess it could refer to my giving up and resigning from the dream I have for my life."
"Well," Caleb said. "Maybe the oasis is just over the next mountain of sand? You never know. You just have to keep pushing."
I lied awake until nearly 5:00 a.m.
"Yeah, Man," he said. "You okay?"
I asked, refusing to avert my eyes from the dark ceiling, "Do you ever feel like a lonely rhinoceros, wandering the empty sands of the Namibian Desert, searching for an oasis but finding none, slowly withering away until your legs give out and vultures pick you apart as you lie dying and decrepit on the scorching sands?"
After a pause, "No. But I'm assuming you meant that allegorically. The rhinoceros is you. The desert is life. The oasis is... Julie?"
"No. The oasis is satisfaction and fulfillment. Peace and joy. Real life. Something... more than this. More than this life I live now."
"Oh. And your lying in the sand dying and being picked apart by vultures? What does that mean?"
"Other than it being a purely cinematic climax, I guess it could refer to my giving up and resigning from the dream I have for my life."
"Well," Caleb said. "Maybe the oasis is just over the next mountain of sand? You never know. You just have to keep pushing."
I lied awake until nearly 5:00 a.m.
1 comment:
When I feel like the "Rhino in a desert" it is usually due to focusing too much on the future I want and not living in the present. I may have these "dreams for my life", but I want those dreams now, not in the future. Or I want a guarantee now that some dream will come true in the future.
I have dreams for my future, but I try to live in the present and make decisions that will position me best for that "future I want".
I also struggle with the future I want vs the future God has planned for me. At our current age/place we may view our "future plan" as better than the "future plan we think God may have for us". However, as we get to that "future" we usually learn that God's plan sure is better than what our plan was.
Post a Comment