Over the weekend I talked to a friend here at school who suffered with major depression for a good period of his life. When he found out that I struggled with it, and the situations involved, he was mind-blown because it absolutely paralleled what went on with him. We talked on the phone for two hours Saturday night. He is a psychology major here at C.C.U. emphasizing in treating the depressed. He had a lot of tips and ideas for dealing with depression, many of which are working, and he is able to understand me immensely because he knows how I feel, he knows what I am going through, he knows what it's like to be in my position. He gives me hope because he's passed through that valley and, while it's still a daily struggle, he is able to function and exist and be joyful. When I told him my story, he said, "Wow. That's really inspiring, and I'm not just saying that. You have an amazing testimony, and you're extremely strong. Even when your life is a living hell, even when you want to give up, you keep pressing on."

I have been doing several therapeutic activities to help me deal with what is fueling this depression. As I've said before, many buried memories and feelings are coming to light. While it's painful, their surfacing allows me to deal with them instead of just locking them down inside my heart, where they affect my every thought, mood and feeling. Hope is burning within me as I realize that I can--with God's help and the help of others--climb out of this hole. I am beginning to realize that my perception of reality has been skewed, and this perception is being straightened and made anew.

I am thinking about changing my major from "Biblical Studies" to "Psychology." If I did that, I wouldn't go to Seminary but would go to another school to get my Master's in counseling. The reasoning behind this possible change is clear: first, I want to practically help others who will go through what I'm going through; second, it is a great way to advance the kingdom of God; and third, quite frankly, I find it all very interesting.

That's about all I have to say right now. Oh, and have you looked outside? It's beautiful!