My friend Katy told me to listen to a sermon by Mark Driscoll; you can listen to it here (trust me: "It's worth your time, especially if you're single!"). I've read one of Mark's books, I frequent his blog, and I have his second book on my list of "need-to-reads". He's an amazing man of God with a witty sense of humor who is not afraid to be raw and uncensored when it comes to preaching the Message. He's the kind of preacher I would like to be one day (though, in all honesty, I will need to grow a lot more spiritually and get a grip on my life before that happens!). Here are a few of my thoughts after listening to the sermon...
The sermon followed a chapter of the story of Ruth, a Moabite woman who lived in the days of the judges. Before he leaps into the bulk of his sermon (Ruth 4.1-12), he does an excellent overview of the story up to that point. One aspect of the story that stuck out to me was how Boaz and Ruth miraculously came together. The Spirit, I believe, spoke to me: "She's out there. Stop worrying. Just follow Me. I'll take care of everything." That was comforting, to say the least.
One point that Mark made is that those who want to be married must start preparing for marriage now by becoming men now. That involves financial responsibility. This is something I struggle with. I buy things compulsively. If I'm bored, I take my paycheck and go buy a book or a coffee at Borders. If I want to be married one day, I must start preparing now. Preparing financially, mentally, spiritually. I must pursue my education, get a good job, and save up money to buy a house and begin getting ready to settle down. God will bring her to me in His timing.
Another aspect that struck out to me is how Boaz served as Ruth's "redeemer." Men who are husbands are to be redeemers for their wives. If my wife ends up being someone who has gone through sexual abuse, rape, or something of that nature, I want to be her earthly redeemer. If my wife ends up being someone who has gone through a divorce or been left alone by another man, I want to be her earthly redeemer. If my wife ends up being someone who has been rejected and alone her entire life, I want to be her earthly redeemer. The passion to be a redeemer boils deep inside my veins.
As Mark closes his remarkable sermon (and these points are scattered, I know, and for that I apologize), he says, "You single people out there must ask yourselves this question: 'Is my desire for my future clear in my own mind?'" My desire is strikingly clear: I want to be a married man, a good husband and a good father. Mark continues, "Are you living in such a way to as prepare yourself for the future ahead?" Am I living in a way that is preparing me for my married-life ahead, a way that is preparing me and my family for our future? It is a question I must not ignore.
The sermon followed a chapter of the story of Ruth, a Moabite woman who lived in the days of the judges. Before he leaps into the bulk of his sermon (Ruth 4.1-12), he does an excellent overview of the story up to that point. One aspect of the story that stuck out to me was how Boaz and Ruth miraculously came together. The Spirit, I believe, spoke to me: "She's out there. Stop worrying. Just follow Me. I'll take care of everything." That was comforting, to say the least.
One point that Mark made is that those who want to be married must start preparing for marriage now by becoming men now. That involves financial responsibility. This is something I struggle with. I buy things compulsively. If I'm bored, I take my paycheck and go buy a book or a coffee at Borders. If I want to be married one day, I must start preparing now. Preparing financially, mentally, spiritually. I must pursue my education, get a good job, and save up money to buy a house and begin getting ready to settle down. God will bring her to me in His timing.
Another aspect that struck out to me is how Boaz served as Ruth's "redeemer." Men who are husbands are to be redeemers for their wives. If my wife ends up being someone who has gone through sexual abuse, rape, or something of that nature, I want to be her earthly redeemer. If my wife ends up being someone who has gone through a divorce or been left alone by another man, I want to be her earthly redeemer. If my wife ends up being someone who has been rejected and alone her entire life, I want to be her earthly redeemer. The passion to be a redeemer boils deep inside my veins.
As Mark closes his remarkable sermon (and these points are scattered, I know, and for that I apologize), he says, "You single people out there must ask yourselves this question: 'Is my desire for my future clear in my own mind?'" My desire is strikingly clear: I want to be a married man, a good husband and a good father. Mark continues, "Are you living in such a way to as prepare yourself for the future ahead?" Am I living in a way that is preparing me for my married-life ahead, a way that is preparing me and my family for our future? It is a question I must not ignore.
4 comments:
That's a great idea, preparing one's self for marriage. I don't think most people do this. One thing I asked my husband to do once we started discussing marriage, was to move out of his parent's home and to live on his own for a while. I am a bit older then him (4.5years), and I wanted to see how he handled paying bills and managing his own little place. He was only 23 when we married, and had only lived in dorm and at home.
I don't exactly know why, but I can't say I'm comfortable with the idea of being someone elses "redeemer". In my mind there's only One person who can really do that. I do think, however, that a spouse knowing how to help the other spouse focus on THE Redeemer and turn to Him is important, as well as helping to create an atmosphere where each other can do that. It's a bit different then being the actual Redeemer, yet very important. I often see married couples expect the other partner to come through for them in ways that are humanly impossible. Sometimes its a bit of a desire to worship the other spouse and put them into roles that are only for Christ.
I know I need to start preparing for marriage even though I haven't met "her" yet (so far as I know).
I think Mark meant an "earthly" redeemer. For instance, let's say a woman was used and abused sexually when she was younger. Her godly husband serves as an "earthly" redeemer by respecting and honoring her sexually. He redeems her from her past, all the while pointing to a heavenly redeemer: Christ. Does that make any more sense?
Sort of get it and yet not really! I guess I've known some women with that issue and when they bring it into marriage it causes huge trouble. What if honoring her means not having sex for years after you get married? Most men I know would really struggle with that. I've seen undealt with previous sexual abuse create a lot of marriage trouble, even to the nicest kindest gentlist man. You can,to some degree, create an atmosphere for her to heal in, and maybe that's what you mean by "earthly" redeemer, I think that Boaz created a place and a safe place for Ruth. She'll need a lot more then that. Sorry, for being so pessimistic, but I've seen some serious marriage trouble that span the range from extreme frigidity to promisciousness and cheating when this issue goes undealt with.
Hey, have you ever thought of interviewing married men, on what they've learned about marriage that they wish they would have known before they got married? I think the research would be interesting, and you're such a great writer, you could write something spectacular on what you learn.
Hmmm... Good point. If my wife has been sexually abused, that could pose some HUGE problems in the future. But if I truly loved her, would I endure? Going without sex would be borderline impossible!
That WOULD be interesting... Maybe I'll do that.
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