my i speak freely?

I am a believer that the Enemy--evil forces, Satan, demons, whatever you want to call it--is active in Christians' lives. I believe that one of the Enemy's main goals against Christians is to get them from fulfilling God's plans for their lives. The Enemy stands in the heavenly courts of God; I believe he has good insight into the plans that God has for His people. As Christians, we need to be wary of the Enemy's dealings, but, as C.S. Lewis points out in his book The Screwtape Letters: "There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight." One of the main ways that the Enemy attacks us, I believe (as does C.S. Lewis, as seen in his book), is through implanting thoughts into Christians to divert them from God, lead them into despair, and thus put them upon the slippery slope that leads to abandonment from God." The Enemy has been attacking me as of late, and through counseling and the help of friends and much prayer, these lies are beginning to be shown for their true colors.

The Enemy implants false thoughts/perceptions about God:

• God doesn't care for you; if He did, why would you be going through so much suffering?
• God doesn't want you to be happy; if He did, why would He steal all your hopes and dreams from you?
• God doesn't like you; He is absolutely disgusted with you; you make Him want to vomit.
• God enjoys seeing you suffer; He takes delight in your suffering.
• God did have a plan for your life, but you were too evil so He left you out in the dark, cold and alone, left to fight for a mere breath of air.

The Enemy implants false thoughts/perceptions about myself:

• You're not a good person. You'll never be a good person. You might as well stop trying.
  
• You're not a person whom people like to be around. You annoy them. You're obnoxious. All your friends aren't really your friends. No one cares about you.
• You're not physically-attractive enough to be liked by a girl. You're detestably ugly. Ugh. You are a girl's worst nightmare.
• You're not interesting at all. No one likes to be around you.
• You're not funny at all. People don't laugh with you; they laugh at you. You're a laughingstock.
  
• You're too weird for anyone to ever like you. You creep people out. No girl will ever love you... No girl will ever even like you! Do you know why every girl breaks up with you? Because you're so strange. You need to be someone else.
  
• You're totally inadequate to ever be with a girl. Look at you. You're spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically inadequate. You'll never be good enough. Just accept that. Why don't girls ever stick with you? Because you're totally inadequate, and it will never change.

The Enemy implants false thoughts/perceptions about what happened with Julie:

• Julie was the one you were supposed to be with, but God didn't let you have her because you're too sinful, too ugly, too inadequate. She deserves far better than you, and you know it.
• Julie broke up with you because you're such a bad boyfriend. You treated her badly. You weren't good enough for her physically and emotionally. You were stupid. You'll never be a good boyfriend. You'll never be a good husband. You'll be a horrible father.
  
• When you dated Julie, you were too sinful to be with her. God took her from you, and He learned His lesson: no matter what you do, you'll always be alone. You had your chance, and you messed up. Now you're out on your own, and God is going to do all He can to keep you from ever experiencing your greatest dream.
• God led Julie and Tim together because He wanted you to suffer. He realizes how awful and wicked you are and wants you to be consumed with as much pain as possible. You're the ant under His magnifying glass; He's just going to burn you and feel good about it.

These lies have been breathed into my heart by the Enemy's quiet, evil whispers. They have consumed me and broken me and caused many tears to trail down my face. I fell into his trap and thought they were truth. For the longest time I felt burdened by hopelessness and despair. As these lies become exposed for what they truly are, I begin to feel the hopelessness and despair die. I continue to fight these lies mostly through prayer and reading the scriptures, truly grasping and believing the truths that the Enemy tries to blind me from. Things are getting much better. I am realizing that the last few months have been an incredibly battle, and I believe that the Enemy is terrified because I am beginning to see through the veil he placed over the eyes of my heart.