a little update

Not having internet sucks. I find myself posting less and less. I have work off till Sunday, which is extraordinarily nice. I will be spending time with good friends, reading and writing, eating good food, enjoying the break. I only have eighteen bucks to last me through the week so I’ll have to spend it frugally. Summer is going pretty good. It’s hard to believe it’s already practically July. I only have one more month of work, which means I’ll be drained financially: I’ll have to save up money for September’s rent and August’s utilities alongside August’s rent and July’s utilities.

Oh: in other news, I’ve met a fantastic girl. Her name is Genna. My mom hooked me up with her. Genna is pretty freaking wonderful, and we’re currently dating, getting to know each other and sharing good food and drinks and conversations. I’ll be seeing her at least once over the next week. My mom really likes her, my friend Jessie really likes her, and I think Sarah likes her (but when Sarah met her, she was in a really bad mood, so I’m not sure). I’m excited and nervous to see where things with this girl shall go.

the lehman house [8]

Genna being crazy. (Get used to it)

Monday. I worked 6-2:00, and it went by quickly. Tim didn't show up on time, so Willy and I did lunch alone. I went to Dayton for Father's Day, to celebrate it with Dad. Mom and Grandma, who's living with Mom & Dad now, her divorce from Grandpa finalized a while ago--fixed a great dinner. When I went to bed, I didn't feel "at home." The Nasty 'Nati is my home now.

Tuesday. I headed to Camp from Springboro. Only a 40 minute drive. Sarah and I made dinner. Jobst came over and fell asleep in the chair. I drank a little bit. Mom's hooking me up on a date with an internet from her school. Her name's Gena. She graduated from U.D. with a teaching degree. She's cute and, according to Mom, she has a great personality and is funny. And there's at least one irony: she's good friends with Courtney, the only girl I ever loved. We talked on the phone for two hours, late into the night. 

Wednesday. I went to Dayton and then to Genna's apartment in Centerville to meet her. She's really cute. We hung out for a bit, ate cake for her 22nd birthday, and then some of her friends from U.D. came over. I had a drink or two, and then we went to a sushi bar down the street: Kabuki. It was my first time having sushi, I think, and I really liked it. I was really quiet, not knowing Genna too well, nor her friends; so, par for the course, I was very shy. Yet I did leave a good impression, because we're hanging out tomorrow. "You're everything I've been looking for!" she said.

Thursday. I worked 6-2:00. At 5:30 I went over to her place. She fixed scallions and vegetables and a romaine salad for dinner, paired with a white wine. She's a wine fanatic, has bottles all over her apartment. We watched "Patch Adams" and cuddled on her futon. We took some shots and talked for hours. 

Friday. I spent the night at Mom & Dad's and grabbed lunch with Genna before going down to Cincinnati. Jessie came over and we sat on the back porch and I told her all about Genna. She's excited for me, and I'm pretty excited, too.

Saturday. I worked 6-2:00, and I'm off till next Sunday: I'm off an entire week! I went to The Party Source in Newport for rum, cleaned the house with Sarah, and then Genna came over. I showed her around. Sarah went to Keith's, and then Jessie joined us at the house. Jessie likes her. "She's so beautiful, Anth!" Jessie went to Tiz's, and Genna and I sat in the living room just talking for hours. "Are you too good to be true?" she asked. I sure hope not! 

Mom's 45th Birthday. I woke at 8 AM, ate breakfast, and then slept till 12:30. I headed up to Dayton. Aunt Teri was there. Ams was, too, and we grabbed China Cottage with Dewenter. I went and picked up Genna from her apartment, and she came to the house for pizza, cake, and a movie: Inkheart. We went by Springboro Intermediate and Genna showed me her classroom. We went back to her apartment and watched a movie to round out the night.

the lehman house [7]

Monday. While I was at work, Mandy K. called me: "I really miss you!" Jessie said, "It's obvious she liked you. She just said she didn't because she knew it was a dead-end." I went to the Hilltop after my post-work nap, hung out with Nate and Mandy Hoos. I met up with Jessie at the house and we sat out on the back porch. Sarah came home from Keith's, complaining about him like always.

Tuesday. I went to Springboro after work. The drive back to Cincinnati was slow and I almost fell asleep at the wheel. I went to Blockbuster and rented some movies. I got a bad headache and went to bed around 10 PM.

Wednesday. Jobst and I went to Barnes & Noble this afternoon. He was really depressed and quiet. I bought him lunch and myself a latte, and we sat on the patio looking upon the river and bridges and the Cincinnati skyline. We talked about his depression, and he nearly broke into tears. I dropped him off back at his apartment on Rosemont, and Ams and I hit up the China Buffet on Glenway. A boy who lives in the neighborhood keeps crashing on our porch, and by "crashing" I mean just sitting in our chairs minding our own business.

Thursday. Today was "Taco Day" at camp and it went by quickly. I went to Tri-Health to visit Sarah, who's been at Keith's the last few nights. She made me a free Greek pizza. When I got back Jobst was waiting for me on the front porch. We hung out for a bit, and then he left. I started drinking some bourbon, amaretto, irish cream. Jessie came over and I drank some more. "The Boy" appeared on our porch again and I shooed him off. Sarah and Ams broke out some Riesling White. I was drunk by this point. Jessie left around 11:30, and Nate swung by fifteen minutes later after his closing shift at the Hilltop. He stayed till around 3 AM. Sarah was so drunk she was crawling all over me. I told her to back off.

Friday. Jessie invited me over, so I spent the afternoon with her at her apartment by Bloc. Her friend Brianna's mom needed a ride to the hospital, so I tagged along. Back home I napped for a bit, and then Ams and I went to Sozo, a prayer gathering with Nate's church. It was very Pentecostal. Charismatic with tongues and prophecy and people falling down. Ams, Nate and I all felt out-of-place. He was there to play guitar. We went over to Nate's afterwards. Sarah was too sick to go to church but not sick enough to stay away from Keith's.

Saturday. Jessie and I headed to Indianapolis for Kyle Crafton's wedding to some girl named Leisha. Brian W. was there. We hit up the reception and then the three of us went to DQ for ice cream. Banana Split! When we got back to Cincinnati, Jessie hung out for a while and then I did some writing before bed.

Sunday. Last night I dreamt Courtney had gotten pregnant by me and had a little girl, but she wouldn't let me see her. I woke so sad and hurt. I worked 10-7:30 at the Girl Scout camp, and then I went over to Jessie's and she made me pie.

on writing

A friend at work found out that I write books and have had decent success (20,000 copies sold and counting), and they commented, “I want to write a best-selling book and make a lot of money and just retire off of it.” I just smiled to myself, and I held back from saying, “Writing books isn’t about making money. Writing is about capturing something beautiful, something deep, something tragic; writing is about conveying the brightest and darkest sentiments of life; writing is about expressing yourself through characters and settings and dramas, your fears and hopes and dreams and desires; writing, even fiction, is about exposing yourself to the scrutinizing of the reader and subsequently being labeled by their own designs. Writing doesn’t come out of a passion for money; writing comes out of, simply, a passion to write. Writers are poor fools bumbling about in this world, often lonely and grief-stricken, their eyes focused outwards and upwards into the realm of the illusory- and imaginary-and-yet-real.” I don’t write to make money. I have sold over 20,000 copies of my books, and I haven’t made a cent. It’s not about the money. It’s about the fact that there is an urge within me, a craving and an addiction, a need that must be fulfilled, the need to simply write. When I don’t write, I become ancy and jittery, and my hands shake and my fingers tremble, and my heart flutters and there is an emptiness within me. I don’t write because I want money; sometimes I don’t even write because I want to: I write because I have to. And that’s what distinguishes me from those who would view writing as a means to an end rather than the end itself.

zombie princess

I have been itching to write, so I came up with an idea: “Ask someone for an off-the-wall story idea and go with it no matter what.” So I asked my friend Jessica for a story idea, and she said, “Zombie Princess.” I asked her for tie-in, and she said, “Unrequited love and broken hearts.” So that’s the backbone of a story I am throwing together entitled “Zombie Princess.” If it were a play, it would have three acts. I’m excited about it. It’ll be comedic at time, creepy at other times, a little bit of violence and horror, a lot of drama, and a lot of romantic tragedy. It should be good.

the lehman house [6]

Ams & Mykaela

Monday. I only got two hours of sleep last night, so I was tired all through work. Once I got home I napped until 5:00 and then fixed a chicken quesadilla for dinner. Sarah, Ams and I watched TV. Sarah & Ams went to the Redbox and rented some romance movie. Jessie came by after her night at Cincy State. "Are you depressed?" she asked. "No," I lied. 

Tuesday. I woke around midnight to screaming. I threw on my pants and ran out of my room to find Sarah and Ams ash-faced. "We saw a cockroach!" they shrieked. I went back to bed, and all day long the two of them were freaking out. Both say they're gonna move out. We're gonna set up roach motels, and if that doesn't work, we'll try to get the house sprayed. Both of them think it's an infestation. We found roach-killing spray in the living room closet. Sarah's spending the night at Keith's "because of the bugs" (I'm sure that's why). I asked Ams if she thought Sarah would ever get away from Keith. She didn't have an answer. I ended the evening visiting Isaac and Amos at their apartment: Wii, a dead snake, a German board game, and pizza.

Wednesday. I worked 7-2:00, which sucked, cause I was supposed to have the day off. I napped after work and then watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Ams had an interview with Chipotle at Tri-County (she's jobless at the moment) and then went to Dayton for the night. Sarah was supposed to be home at 5:00, then 7:00, then 9:00. Never showed. Then she called at 10:00 saying she was leaving Keith's. It feels good knowing she chooses the dick over me (no pun intended).

Thursday. I worked 6-4:00, a grueling shift, but I'm done till Sunday! When Sarah got home we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and then went to Kroger for food. Jobst was working. Everything was cool with Sarah until Ams got back from Dayton, and then they both turned on me and were mean, probably without realizing it. I got mad, then sad, and then I felt sick so I went to bed.

Friday. Several storms passed overnight. I woke at 8:00 after dreaming that Karen and I were dating again and "in love" like we were once upon a time. Jessie and I went to Barnes & Noble, then ate lamb and smoked mango hookah at Cafe Istanbul in Newport. People walking by gave us weird looks. I dropped Jessie off at her place on Iliff and then spent the day cleaning and reorganizing the house. I got two wooden ashtrays from Africa, one in the shape of an elephant and another in the shape of a turtle. I broke them in while watching Thank You For Smoking (You're Welcome!). When Sarah got back, she, Ams and I went to Jessie's work and got some gelato (with some Bailey's Irish Cream with espresso on top). Lots of people from school were there. Rob's birthday party was tonight, but no one told me, so I didn't show up. And then Mandy got pissed that I wasn't there.

Saturday. My legs ached really bad last night, so I rubbed on some orthopedic muscle relaxant. I foolishly forgot to wash my hands and went to pee and got the stuff all over my balls. they swelled bright, cherry red and it burned like HELL. I tried wiping it with a towel but only smeared it. FML. I ended up showering for twenty minutes to get it off. I spent the day napping and watching movies: Flight of the Navigator and Valkyrie. Mykaela came by the house last night: she's on camp teams at C.C.U. and was on campus for the weekend. It was good to see her.

Sunday. I worked 10-7:30. We had an hour break, so I ran to Wal-Greens. One of the camp counselors, Hannah (?), may have a crush on me. She's 19 or 20. 

summer rolls by

My summer has been spent thus:

working

watching movies

reading

writing

enjoying good conversations

and good coffee

Not a bad summer at all.

the lehman house [5]

Monday. I woke at 4:35, showered, got dressed, and hit the road. I reached camp by 6 AM, so I was exhausted. And I only slept one hour last night. I tossed and turned, tried everything: the couch, meditation, praying, controlled breathing, a shot of bourbon and a cigarette. All to no avail. So I was tired at work, but it went by quickly. I got to work with Karen R. since Willy's car broke down. A blown water pump. Both Sarah and Ams said they want to get back with God, so we're doing House Devos, just going over the basics. When Sarah got back from work, we sat out on the back porch and did crossword puzzles. We went to Kroger and made an amazing dinner of macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, cream corn, and chicken tenders. Sarah went for a run, and then House Devos commenced: "Why do we need a solution?" It was really good, and Sarah was really convicted.

Tuesday. Work went well. I made dinner when I got home and went to the Hilltop to visit Nate, use the internet, and buy some paper coffee cups and lids to use in the mornings before work. Jessie called me, ecstatic: "Justin and I made out!" She described the kissing, the touching, the horniness. It gives her closure over what's been going on, and I'm happy for her.

Wednesday. Huge storms rolled through overnight. More storms came through on my drive home from work. When Sarah came home, she announced that Keith broke up with her and that it's over. I'm holding back my excitement: the moment he apologizes, she'll crawl right back to him. She complained, "I just want a good guy, but there's no one out there!" Every time she says that, I get pissed. I take it as an insult. "You don't just want a good guy," I told her. "You want a HOT good guy. Don't tell it like it's the other way around. And what's more important to you? The hotness. That's why you're with Keith."

Thursday. I ended up working two hours overtime making packed lunches. I stopped by Tri-Health on my way home and Sarah made me a Greek pizza for free. We talked a lot about zombies. I got home around 5:00 and went over to Jessie's apartment next to Bloc, and we went to Jungle Jim's and she came over to the house. Sarah didn't come back till 10:00--things with her and Keith are rolling again. What did I tell you?

Friday. I got off work at 10:30 and jetted to Centerville to see Land of the Lost with Mom. It was great. Traffic back to Cincinnati was a BITCH. Pat D. came over. He loves the house. We shot whiskey, played guitar, smoked cigarettes, and reminisced on our high school days. He left around midnight to hit up a party in Clifton, just across the railyards. 

Saturday. I didn't sleep well, feeling sick 'cause of the alcohol and listening to the neighbors' she-cats moaning in heat and slinking around beneath my windows. The day passed pretty slowly: I talked to Kyle and Jobst over the phone, and talked with Pat D. too. I went to Kroger and Ams got ice cream. Sarah's in West Virginia with her family.

Sunday. I was off work by noon. Sarah returned from her gambling trip in West Virginia around 2:00, and she was full of stories. Ams and I watched the commentary on Twilight. Obviously I didn't have much to do. We spent the evening filming a scene from Dwellers of the Night on Sarah's camera.

my summer job has begun

My life has been consumed with work. My day begins around 5:00 in the morning, when I wake up, fix coffee, take a shower, and get dressed. It is still dark outside when I leave the house, and the commute to the summer camp is an hour-long drive. Half of the drive is spent driving underneath bridges on a multi-lane highway, and as I pass by the King’s Island amusement park, I get off at the exit and dive into the countryside. The second half of the drive is down twisting, turning roads resplendent with hills covered with trees, then across a bridge spanning the Little Miami, and then through several small towns. I reach camp by 6:30, and there I spend the next eight hours helping to cook meals for campers. I help with breakfast and lunch, and currently we are fixing lunch for two camps and driving back-and-forth between them to deliver and serve food. Around 2:00 I get to go home, where I take a power-nap and then spend the evening with my roommates, Amanda and Sarah. Out of three summer jobs, it’s the second worst; but the first two cannot be compared with: working as a camp counselor at Joseph Badger Meadows and doing a preaching internship in Minnesota. I am working a lot, and I am making good money, and all the bills and groceries and gas can easily be paid-for.

My roommates and I have started doing devos a few nights a week. All of us are in different stages in our “Christian Walks,” and devos serve as a time for us to get together and talk about God and Jesus and spiritual things, confess our struggles and help one another through encouragement and rebuke. It is a good time, and we are being strengthened and convicted in various ways. Last night we talked about the nature of true faith: it is commitment and loyalty to Christ, not mere intellectual “easy-believism.”