Isaac and I were at The Anchor talking about all the benefits of journaling on a daily basis. One such benefit, we agreed, was that you can see the evolution of your thoughts over extended periods of time. Basically I'm big into studying worldviews: what makes a worldview, how worldviews operate and change, how worldviews can follow different paths, the relationship between worldviews and belief systems, the relationship between worldviews and interpretation of life events (both being guided by, sustained, and foundational for worldviews), and the tight nexus between perception and praxis. One of the countless pleasures of looking through my old journals is that I can trace how my worldview has evolved; and for a considerable amount of time yesterday, I was able to see how various life events (and, more importantly, the interpretation of those life events) has shaped and transformed my worldview from what it was then to what it is now. But that process isn't what that post is about. Really, this post is all about me showing you how bat-shit crazy I was back then. Looking through my old journals from those olden days, I've seen within that old system-of-thought four key facets:
(1) Life's all about finding a wife so you won't be alone and then you can have sex all the time guilt-free.
(2) Every girl you meet--no matter what--is a potential future wife.
(3) When a girl breaks up with you, it's because God's mad at you.
(4) If you want to fall in love and get married, you have to be a legalistic Christian.
Yeah, that's not the best framework through which life should be conducted, and as funny as it may be, the sad truth is that I'm still wrestling through some of the baggage from that thought-process, and it's not something I like. Looking at that old mindset (which, really, is a bit more complicated, but that's always the case), it's refreshing to see how far I've come. I'd like to think I'm much more grounded, wise, and thoughtful. You can call it cynicism, but, really, stoicism is a better definition. Don't know what it means? Look it up. And then throw Jesus in there somewhere.
1 comment:
You said there are three things, and then you listed four. I told you I was going to put that.
Also, the eagle between the twin towers looks like an H. Was that intentional? Awesome.
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