the 33rd week

Corey chilling on our balcony

Monday. I had the day off thanks to a scheduling mishap. I went to The Anchor to do some writing, got McDonald's for breakfast, and spent the day reading and watching SVU. There was no Loth House gathering: Brandy's sick. So Blake, Traci and I hung out, and I got Chipotle for dinner.

Tuesday. I visited Ams in Dayton. Mom & Dad are in Put-in Bay. Ams and I played with Sky and watched Netflix. On my way home hammering rains obscured the highway, so much flooding. I swung by the Loth House. Brandy and John apologized for being mean to me lately, said they're just sad and angry about Jim. It's totally fair. Besides, I give ample room for meanness, and I'm so unobservant that I never notice it anyways. I'm like the perfect punching bag.

Wednesday. We've hired two new people: Chloe and Josh. They both seem pretty awesome. I ran by Amos' and Ams came over, and we played Call of Duty. John broke down and bought a PS3 (the old one crashed, hence how Mario-Kart on the Wii replaced Black Ops). I hung out with Isaac on the back porch, and he got drunk and went to Kevin's. Oh: Tibbles made me and Eric Hunk Day t-shirts. "It's like Hump Day, just Hunk Day!" And she made the two of us wear them today. "And they're V-necks. Perfect."

Thursday. I worked F.P., a slow day. I went to Frank's after work, and "wine Corey" joined us for Halo 4 and a documentary on the Incas. I started feeling sick when I got home (I think I got it from Ams?) and went to bed early after Combo's for dinner.

Friday. I felt sick all day: super congested and a sore throat. I ran to CVS a few blocks from the shop for drugs. Work was tiring, and I napped as soon as I got home. My evening was spent hopped up on drugs and playing The Walking Dead videogame. At first I didn't like it, but I've become invested in the story's characters.

Saturday. I dreamt I saw Mandy K. in the distance, walking away from me, her back turned and not a single glance back. It's pretty much how I feel. We don't talk anymore, not one bit. I've tried, but she has no interest. Really, I don't blame her. I was honest with her, told her I loved her. I did love her, and she made me want to hope that everything would be okay, that I could still find love and be loved. She wasn't interested in any of that, at least not with me, and my heart caved in on itself. It's only fair that she quietly snuffs me out of her life: I told her I loved her, she didn't feel the same way, how ELSE would she respond? I cherished our honesty and openness with one another, our vulnerability, and the ironic thing is that honesty is what pushed her away. My love for her has all but died. I still care about her, think about her often, but a love malnourished can't but wither. 

Sunday. I woke early and got coffee from UDF. I spent the morning quietly reading on the balcony before hitting up U.C.C. I missed the last Ecclesiastes sermon while in the Gorge, and Anthony J. started a series on the Law. I stopped by the Loth House to see Amos and Andy before jetting up to Dayton to (a) clean out my car and (b) pick up my bike so I can start riding again. Back home, I hung out with Blake and Ams, and when everyone headed out for their evening plans I geared up for a bike ride and the front tire blew right down the block. But of course! So I just took a walk instead, practicing the examen, a monastic discipline invented by St. Ignatius. I liked it. I used to pray so much, was such a man of prayer back in the day. Hard times came, I grew lax in my prayers as God hid himself from me, and then my intimacy with God started slipping away, and my trust in him plummeted. Retrograde can be nice.