update[z]

Work has been hell lately. I've found Tazza Mia goes through these cycles: chaos reigns, then simmers, and things go well for but a moment before the chaos reignites. I'm forced to wonder if it's worth it, getting paid just a meager more than a busboy and working as the assistant store manager. I've been applying for other jobs and keeping my ear to the ground, but I don't feel a desperate need to jump ship. I like the people I work with, and I like the work I do. I'm a significant part of the day-to-day operations, as Eric has made clear and as Tiffany emphasizes all the time: the place may very well go to hell without me (testified to when the store went to hell the week I wasn't running the morning and afternoon). Part of it may be that I just don't like change. I adapt to change fairly well, and I don't mind change most of the time; I just don't go out of my way to make it happen. It's part of my personality. The good news is that my six month review went well. Eric says I'm kicking ass but I need to embrace my authority. 

I've found that the one thing I want to do when I clock out and abandon the chaos for the rest of the day is go home, nestle up on the couch, and read. I've been reading like a FIEND lately. And when I'm not reading, I'm usually (a) hanging out with people or (b) turning people into zombies. Here's a not-so-scary and a little bit silly picture of Mandy as a zombie:

Creepy, no? A collage for Monday Nights crew will be here in October to commence, on my blog, Season 4 of The Walking Dead.

Another big change in my life: Mandy Hoos is back! And her last name is still Hoos! I had no idea. She's in my phone as Amanda Thomas. Regardless, it's great to have her back and everyone loves having her around. It's just like old times, and I love her like a sister. I count it a joy to help her out when I can, and she returns the favor with sisterly moments, such as banging on my door for about ten minutes without thinking, "Hey, maybe he's napping?" I can't be mad: she cleaned out my car, and that's worth being woken up from a nap.

In sadder (read: tragic) news, Corey's mom passed away. That's the reason Mandy moved here from Montana, to be with him when he needed it most. Yet another tragedy strikes so close to home, and the closer the tragedies striker, the deeper the cut into our naivety. Death and suffering reveal the nature of reality and revoke our former innocence. The teenage illusion of our immortality is chipped away as death stalks those whom we love, and smashed when knowledge of our own mortality greets us face-to-face. In light of all this, the best we can do is live well, honor our Creator, and enjoy life's gifts as much as we can. This is, after all, the recommendation of Ecclesiastes after the author exposes the futility of life. Death takes everything, so we should live in the moment knowing that one day we will decay, we will die, and we will face God. We'll be washed and buried one day, my girl, and the time we were given will be left to the world. The flesh that lived and loved will be eaten by plague, so let the memories be good for those who stay. I empathize with those who doubt God's love in the face of such tragedies, but I cling to faith. Tragedy fits into my worldview, but a logical assessment of tragedy doesn't speak to the pain, frustration, and bewilderment caused by senseless death. I've heard it said that one day we'll find that our beliefs will mock us, save us, or die with us. I like to believe Jim and Carol's saved them.