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| this is what I do when I'm bored at home |
Work
has been keeping me busy; and by “keeping me busy” let me put it this way: on
Christmas Eve I’m finishing up a 15-day stretch of working every day, I have
Christmas off, and then I start another 15-day stretch on the 26th.
So I’ll have one day off for a period over a month. I’m not even sure if I’m
going to make it to all the holiday festivities with my extended family; I’m
thankful, at least, that I’ll get to be with Mom, Dad, and my little sister on
the evening of Christmas Eve and throughout Christmas Day.
I
haven’t grown sick of all the Christmas songs like I do every year. Part of it
may be that my brain has evolved so as to block out said music (“Microevolution!”);
or it could be that since I don’t have a working radio in my car, I’m left with
only my thoughts (which, although slightly dour at times, still beat Christmas
music!). I will admit I have a soft spot for “Carol of the Bells,” but only
when performed by John Williams or the Trans Siberian Orchestra. This holiday
season is really rushing by, what with constantly working and all that, and I’m
not too mad about it. As I wrote before, Christmastime doesn’t hold the same “flash”
for single people working their asses off to pay bills and stay afloat.
Christmas becomes yet another time of the year where you miss days of work
(thereby losing money) and then buy a bunch of people stuff they don’t need in
return for them buying you stuff you don’t need, and only
because it’s “that special time of year.” It isn’t special, it’s consumerist
and capitalistic, and I prefer the chaos to die down and life to return to
normal the first week of January. “In time, Child, in time…”
Amid
the chaos, I’ve had a few quiet nights at home, hours spent curled up on the
sofa reading or hunched over my desk writing. As far as reading goes, I’ve
catalogued *most* of my reading here on the blog. As far as writing goes, I’m
proud to announce (and I’m really the only one who cares about this) that I’ve finally FINISHED the first book of my
all-but-forgotten zombie apocalypse series. I started writing it on vacation in
Hilton Head near the end of June 2011, and today (Thursday) I can finally sit
back and breathe a sigh of relief. It’s 335 pages long (that’s a 415-page
college paper for those who care), and I’m pretty excited to get the second
book going. It’s time to do some scripting.
The
Wisconsinite and I have had a “closure talk” of sorts, and I really do feel at
peace with things. I said a lot of hurtful things born out of pain and anger, and
though I have her forgiveness (for which I’m thankful), it still tears me
apart: I’ve wanted only to protect her heart, and I hurt it. The truth is that
she has meant much more to me than I’ll ever know, and she helped me through a
series of dark times in my life more than she’ll
ever know. She really is a wonderful person, and I could never and will never
think otherwise. My hope and prayer is that one day we can meet again, and that
we can laugh about all of this and share with one another how God has been
moving in our lives. My prayer remains with her, for I wish the best for her
and I always will.
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