of monks and armadillos

This is an attempt at a lighthearted post; it's difficult, since my heart isn't too light at the moment. It's been a real struggle to be patient with my clients, and the fact that I haven't killed Ben is a testament to God's hand in my life. When my patience isn't at an all-time low, I can always just take a moment and pause and listen to the words that are coming out of his mouth. Like that time he exclaimed at the top of his voice in the car after I told him how I was going to climb all the trees and tear the wings off the birds at the Zoo, "You can't go kill all the birds of prey at the zoo! They will NOT like it! They will kick you out and tell you NEVER to come back!" Or that time he explained how babies are made; it involved penises touching, the doctor having talons, and a pair of pliers. He's always hilarious, you just have to have the patience to find him funny. On another note, HISTORY:

That's pretty bad-ass. 

I'd take one over my Hobbit Hole anyday. 

I feel like I'm doing good considering everything's that happened with Mandy. Dad told me, "I'm surprised you're holding up so well. If that'd happened to me when I was with your mom, I don't think I would've held up so good." Experience helps; for each heartbreak and disappointment, there's just that much more cynicism to soften the blow of expectation. Not only that, but after Julie I was so depressed I considered killing myself; after Courtney I couldn't shake the thought of her and Kyle getting married, and it made me nauseous day-in and day-out; after Sarah, I was haunted by dreams of her and Billy getting all sexed up in front of me. I've been getting better at dealing with these things. My soft heart has survived; ragged, sure, but alive nonetheless. All the experiences teach me that no matter how bad it gets, no matter how incapable I am of seeing anything (or anyone) in my future besides her, that's not the case. I met Courtney after Julie; I met Sarah after Courtney; I met Mandy after Sarah. And I'll meet someone else, and maybe, fingers crossed, it'll work out. All this to say, I wouldn't claim that this has been "easy" for me. Disappointment, anger, grief, depression... It's a bitter cocktail, and it's not conducive to strength. I've stumbled a few times, but I'm still walking, still standing tall, even, against the rain (cue Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West). When people were asking me, "Why did this happen?" I wanted to quote Tobias Funke: "I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help."

If a post (sorta) begins with history, it should culminate with... this?

Little known fact: the Dark Ages, a period of several hundred years where human progress virtually ground to a halt (medieval warfare, rampant superstition, and pestilence tends to hinder society), put technological advancement "back" 500 years. It's been estimated that during the time of the Reformation, had the Dark Ages not occurred, we would have been flying planes and landing on the moon. That's the 16th century, folks. That's right on the cusp of discovering the New World. 

"Imagine that, Stan! Christopher Columbus on a Sea-Do!" 

Let's make ourselves some action figures.