my autobiography

I am Anthony Jordan (AJ) Barnhart
I work at a small grocery store for minimum wage
I live a simple life, my greatest ambitions being to have a steady job in Education or Social Work, and to live in a small house or apartment (parents are offering to give me the downstairs of our house as an apartment)

I have a deep compassion for others, and yearn to help others live better lives
I want to be there to comfort those who are hurt, to hug those who are ostracized, to be friends to those who are lonely, and to listen to those who have no one who cares
My desire is to obey God in everything I do, and to follow in Jesus' footsteps

Many people think I am very religious.
I go to church every Sunday, and to Small Group whenever I can
I tell my friends about Jesus, and I am merciful, forgiving, loving.
I have quiet times, and I worship by music with my friends.
I lend out a hand to those who are struggling in their faith.
This is on the outside.

Inside, I am angry, selfish, hateful, and lustful--things that need to change.
I am a hypocrite.
I sin in many ways everday; every time I take lust by the horns I am trampled; sometimes the will to fight temptation and sin is all but evaporated.
I believe in God, though sometimes it seems as if he isn't even there.
I try to help others who have splinters in their eyes, and ignore the log in my own.
I am rotten.
The only thing that keeps me suspended is the grace of Jesus.

I recognize my terrible problems, the ignored and rampant sin, and it tears my heart out.
I cry out to God, and he replies, "How long will you continue to sin and call yourself one of Mine?"
This sin, if I don't put it to an end, will kill me; not physical death, but spiritual death.
I stand here and repent--I thrown down the umbilical noose of sin that is slowly strangling me.
It is time for me to change.