It's so much easier not to "like" a girl. Why don't I ever find myself attracted to girls who are attracted to me? Is it so hard? People tell me all the time that I am cute... Whatever, I guess. I wish I didn't like her, because I am pretty sure it's a dead-end street. She's not the one, I guess. I hate it when life goes this way. I can't wait till, for once, I am not the lone man out, not the one who has to deal with liking someone and not being liked. I can't wait to embrace change. It's especially hard to see relationships exploding all over campus, great relationships between great guys and great girls... And I find someone authentic, someone real, someone passionate about ministry, and it's a red light. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. Could she like me? Yeah... But I think she looks at me like a little brother. Being short and looking young has its blessings, but my eyes catch the curses more. I just want a break, even a temporary break, a little encouragement that a relationship is at least possible. Sorry to rant. I will post something halfway meaningful tomorrow. It's ironic, though, isn't it? The moment I "stop" pursuing girls I meet her... And then my immature pain rushes back to me, as if a dammed waterfall has broken. It's all right, though... I know how wretched I am. She deserves someone much better than me.