Saturday, July 02, 2011

a post for another time

As promised, “a post for another time.” The main reason in my decision to move down to Cincinnati boils down to a single word: stagnation. While comfortable and having a good time in Dayton, I felt trapped there. Cincinnati’s where I’ve always wanted to be. When I graduated college I was living with Amanda and Sarah in a quirky little house on Lehman Avenue, and I had every intention of staying there. My hand was forced, so-to-speak, in my move to Dayton. I never meant to stay there; to be honest, I got my Starbucks job intending it to be a transitional job as I got ready to move back down, but I quickly became comfortable, making new friends and reconnecting with old ones, dating a few girls along the way. I never intended to be there more than a year (nine months was my original cut-off; hey, I was only six months late), but I enjoyed the job. Despite being comfortable in Dayton, my heart still burned for Cincinnati and my life there (and I was down there at least once a week anyways, on average). Cincinnati holds such hope, such promise, such joy and freedom; and in Dayton I felt trapped, by my own accord, and I felt as if I weren’t moving forward. 24 years old and living in your Mom and Dad’s house? Come on, now: it’s good as a transitional phase, but I’d moved beyond that. I felt the blossoming of my person, as well as my life, was held back forty miles north. I wanted forward movement, I wanted to keep growing into who I am, I wanted to be around the people I love, I wanted to live on my own and be with friends, and pursue my dreams in the way I want.

In addition to stagnation, I was bored with life. Not with “Dayton” life, per se, but life in general. And I knew that being in Cincinnati would provide all the rich nutrients and water so that my life could burst back into vibrant life. This is because, of course, of all the friends I have down here (and the friends who will be coming down; Carly and Allison, this is about you!). In the context of loving community, I can really develop as a person in positive ways, spread my legs (I meant wings there, but hell, I’ll leave it) and take flight. I can pursue my dreams with people who have always been encouraging and supporting and enthusiastic about it, and I can work a solid job with good pay and consistent hours with weekends off. Already I’ve been writing (50 pages so far) and the work’s incredible; how cool is it that a certain atmosphere, and communal living, can spawn creativity and passion? I want my life to change, and I know that Cincinnati provides the right environment for that.

And having been back home for about, oh, four hours now, I’ve already had my heart warmed hanging out with Old Man Hudson, Commodore Harvey, Amandaconda, and The Waugh. Reading through my old journals—both in good-humored mockery and legitimate empathy—and sitting on the front porch smoking pipes and watching ridiculous eighties movies… And then, to top it off, Jessie and Tony being in town doing premarital counseling before their wedding in two weeks. Good friends, people I love, this is nice. And it’s my home now.

1 comment:

Blake said...

Old Man Hudson. Commodore Harvey. Amandaconda. You should probably find some better friends.

where we're headed

Over the last several years, we've undergone a shift in how we operate as a family. We're coming to what we hope is a better underst...