Tuesday, April 09, 2013

in need of a vision (III)

Who do I want to be?
What do I want to do?
And how do I go about it?



Those three questions have been haunting me, and I've made no effort to rush the answers: so long as I'm striving to forge a vision for my life, there's every reason NOT to rush it. It does feel like time's of the essence, so much so that often I feel like a sailor amidst a storm, dredging water in buckets and throwing it overboard, but at far too slow a pace: the ship's sinking and there's no stopping it. Yes, time is of the essence, in the strictest sense of the term; but time's not to be taken lightly, and devoting at least a month to scavenging together a "life vision" seems reasonable. After all, this vision isn't just something I'm hoping for: it's something I'm striving for, something that requires work, patience, discipline, self-control. I can't be hasty in trying to piece it together; it's a complicated assembly with lots of moving parts, I don't want to be halfway through realizing I forgot a nut or bolt somewhere.

In trying to assemble this vision, I've asked what seems like the simplest question: "What's important to me?" Not "What should be important" but what is ACTUALLY important. I can try to be as noble as possible, but let's be honest: that's not me. I could write that "feeding the hungry" is important to me, but I'm not taking any steps to alleviate hunger worldwide. Simply put, it's not that important to me. Writing it out that way makes me feel less-than-human. The point is, I have to be honest about those things that are important in my life, rather than making priority what I feel should be important. A vision fashioned for a saint isn't going to work for a guy like me. I'm hardly ever pragmatic, but I think this kind of pragmatism is justifiable.

So... "What's important to me?" I've sketched together five things that are important to me, and I've asked the subsequent question, "What do I specifically WANT in these areas?" What do I want these "areas of importance" to look like in two years? five years? ten years? These areas of importance are integral to who I am, and addressing them not as "side items" in life but as facets of my personality is key: these are things that I can't give up, for to do so would be like dismemberment. Any vision needs to incorporate these things, plain and simple. Here they are on a classy diagram I wittily threw together:


I'm not rushing any of these "facets" of who I am, and I'm taking time to ponder how I want these things to unravel in my life. I've done lots of reading up on "how to make a vision for your life" (it's incredible the wiki pages they have nowadays), and one consistent recommendation is to imagine, almost in a fantasy world and holding nothing back, what your life will look like in two, five, and ten years, and to WRITE IT DOWN. The "writing down" serves to bring out of our hearts and minds those passions, desires, dreams and ambitions that have lie dormant for so long. Thus the next post (in this series) will be just that: my own imaginary vision of life as I'd like it to be down the road (and I'll try to keep zombie involvement down to a minimum). And from there comes figuring out the steps that need to be taken to reach that vision. 

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