last sunday's lesson

One of my favorite stories in the gospels is the story found in the gospel of John, chapter eight, verses one through 11. The story is about a confrontation Jesus has with one of the greatest religious groups of the day, the Pharisees, and how Jesus disarms the situation, humiliates the Pharisees, and shows his compassion towards sinners.

The day before the incident, Jesus taught in the city of Jerusalem, but he (for some reason), slept outside the city walls, at the Mount of Olives, a mountain ridge east of the city, named for the olive trees that pepper its slopes. In the morning, Jesus went to the Temple to teach. The Temple was divided into two sections: the sanctuary, where priests offered sacrifices and incense, and the Temple courts, where people could gather and where Rabbis (religious teachers) would teach. As a renowned Rabbi, and one hailed as a prophet, Jesus accumulated a large crowd as he began to teach. When a prophet speaks, people listen.

The Pharisees are at odds with Jesus. The Pharisees began as a social movement around 530 B.C., but they only lasted till around 70 A.D., vanishing with the fall of Jerusalem under the Roman general Titus. The social movement involved into what is called “rabbinic Judaism”; in essence, the Pharisees held the authority, determining the normative, traditional practice of Judaism in the ancient Mediterranean. The Pharisees’ keys beliefs are very similar to what we Christians hold: they believed in a bodily resurrection, they believed in eternal life, they believed in angels and demons, and they believed in obedience to the commands of God. They also believed that the reason for the Messiah’s slow coming was because of the sins of the people. “Become holier,” the Pharisees said, “and the Messiah will come and deliver us from the hands of the Romans, making Israel the great ruling nation of the world.”

Because Jesus’ beliefs were so similar to those of the Pharisees, some scholars make a very convincing case that Jesus himself was a Pharisee. Some object, saying, “Jesus was not a Pharisee, he was a carpenter.” Yet there is only one reference to Jesus being a carpenter (Mark 6.3), and this verse is vague; the title of carpenter may be regarding Jesus’ father as being a carpenter, not Jesus himself. We know little of Jesus’ childhood, but we can make educated guesses. As a good Jewish boy, he would’ve spent his preteen years studying under a Rabbi, where he would’ve memorized the entire Torah (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy). The best and brightest of the students (or “disciples”) would be given even more training to one day become Rabbis themselves. In the texts of Jesus’ adult life, Jesus is referred to as “Rabbi,” and he has quite a vibrant following. If Jesus were a Pharisaic Rabbi, this would bring light to the reasons the Pharisees hated him so much and to why the disciples were so eager to follow him (what an honor to be the student/disciple of an infamous Rabbi!).

Why doesn’t Jesus get along with the Pharisees? The Pharisees viewed tradition as equal to God’s explicit commands; some Christian sects make this same mistake today. The Pharisees’ piety was often hypocritical: they did not live up to their own standards, and they clothed themselves in fake piety while condemning those who, like them, did not “measure up.” They had a very legalistic view on salvation (our salvation is based upon us obeying God’s laws and being good people), completely ignorant of their own depraved humanity and the need for forgiveness. The Pharisees were so obsessed with the law that they missed the beautiful realities of God’s mercy and grace (mercy is not getting what we deserve; grace is getting what we do not deserve). Also, they loved looking good before the people more than they loved their God.

Why did the Pharisees hate Jesus? Several reasons. First, if Jesus were a Pharisee, he would be viewed as a turncoat. Second, he blatantly claimed to be God, a blasphemy worthy of death. Third, he stands in opposition to their mission. The Pharisees’ mission is to cleanse the land of its sin and thereby initiate the coming of the Messiah; Jesus develops genuine friendships with the “worst” of sinners (tax collectors, who sided with the Great Enemy, Rome; and prostitutes, whom were viewed as the most wicked of sinners). Fourth, he is seen as “destroying” the Holy Scriptures; rather than saying, “Obey all 600-something commands of the old covenant,” Jesus says, “I complete the law: instead of obeying all those hundreds of commandments, obey these two: love God, and love other people.”

The Pharisees wish to get rid of Jesus, and so they devise a plan to either get him killed or at least harm his influence on the people. As he is teaching in the temple courts, the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in the very act of adultery. They shove through the crowds and throw the weeping, terrified, and no-doubt naked woman before the feet of Jesus, the Great Prophet. As the woman lies there humiliated before all the people and terrified of what is coming (she knows very well the punishment for adultery according to Israelite Law), the Pharisees enact their plan. They toss out a challenge to Jesus, snidely calling him “Teacher” as an act of mockery. “Teacher, we caught this woman in the act of adultery. You know the Law very well, you know what she deserves. But tell us, Great Teacher, what should we do?” That adultery is an immoral act is seen in the 7^th commandment, “Do not commit adultery.” Adultery is not just sleeping with another person; it is when a married person sleeps with someone he or she is not married to (the sanctity of marriage is very important to God). The woman is not necessarily a prostitute; rather, she belongs to a man other than the one whom she was caught sleeping with! The punishment is outlined in the book of Leviticus (20.10): death! How would the adulterer be put to death? He or she would be stoned: thrown over a small cliff, and then bludgeoned by rocks thrown down atop of him or her.

How is this a trap? If Jesus says, “Stone her,” he gives a command that goes against the laws of Rome, who own Israel at the time. The Romans made a law that stated the Jews could not execute anyone unless the criminal violated Temple laws. So if Jesus says, “Stone her,” he is guilty of treason against Rome and worthy of the death of a criminal (death on a Roman cross). But if Jesus says, “Don’t stone her,” he is ignoring the Law of Moses, so very important to the Pharisees. If he does this, this will compromise his patriotic Jewish following and also hack against his presumed identity as a prophet.

How does Jesus respond? He responds very cleverly. He kneels down and begins writing in the dirt with his finger! No one really knows what he wrote, but we can speculate. Late Greek manuscripts say that he wrote out the sins of the Pharisees; being God, he knew the hearts and secrets of all men, and he would’ve known the dark skeletons of the Pharisees’ lives. Others speculate that he writes out the tenth commandment: do not covet your neighbor’s wife or your neighbor’s property. How many of us have not done that? Others think that he is simply wasting time, showing his carelessness at their question. The Pharisees continue to badger him, and he finally stands to give a reply. He says, “Let he who is without sin throw the first stone.” According to the law, the witnesses of the crime were the ones to throw the first stones. The Pharisees, then, have the task to begin the execution. Jesus’ words are a frontal assault against the thick pride of the Pharisees: the Pharisees, so proud of their pious lives, hide their sin. Jesus has shown himself to be a prophet, and they understand that prophets have the keen ability to see inside the hearts of men. The fear of the Pharisees, I believe, is that if they throw a stone, Jesus will begin throwing out his own stones: condemning them with a slur of their own sins, thus breaking apart their pride and influence, two things they prized greater than God.

The Pharisees, cornered and humiliated, slowly begin to trickle away. The older men (who are haunted by their wicked pasts more and have more to lose) leave first; the younger men follow their lead. The Pharisees leave, leaving the woman at the feet of Jesus. The woman, I’m sure, is terrified; “What will the prophet do to me?” she wonders in terror. She knows very well her sin, and she also knows the power of a prophet. The prophet sees the truth of her sin inside her, and the prophet has the unquestionable authority to kill her then and there. He asks her, “Has any man condemned you?” In a shaky, frightened voice, she answers, “No…” Jesus then says, “I don’t condemn you, either. Go and sin no more.” God is severe about sin, but He is also compassionate! A beautiful verse in Romans tells us that while God’s wrath is severe, His mercy and grace is even greater. Jesus has forgiven this woman of her sins (an ability given only to God), and the commanded response is simple: go and sin no more. Thankfully our salvation is not dependent upon our perfect repentance, for repentance is never perfect for anyone.

This great story is thick with theological implications, but I want to use this story as the background for an exploration of the concept of sin.

“What is sin?” Sin is selfishness, greed, over-indulgence, and indifference to God and others in the heart. This internal sin produces the visible manifestations of external sin, such as adultery.

“What sins do we categorize as the ‘big’ sins, those worse than others?” In the Pharisees’ sins, the greatest sins were siding with the Roman government (such as tax collectors) and sexual immorality (prostitution, adultery, fornication). In our culture, the most grievous sins include homosexuality, premarital sex, smoking and drinking (which in and of themselves are not sins at all!), etc. The question begs to be asked, “Which sins anger God the most?” While all sins are the same in the sense that we fall under the same condemnation whether we lie or murder someone, there are some certain sins that just get God all fired-up. When we look at the Old Testament narratives (and the New Testament ones as well!), we see that the sins God spends the most time talking about is idolatry (worshipping someone or something other than God) and social injustice (in big and small ways).

“Why do we rush to point out other peoples’ sins?”
“How do we treat people who fall into ‘big’ sins?”
“How should we treat people who have fallen into ‘big’ sins?”

Caleb keeps turning on the air conditioning so it's freezing in here. He went to a friend's house for the weekend so I turned the heat back on. I worked 8-11, it was really easy, then went to class. After work my stomach burned with hunger, so as I ran off to class I bought an italian wrap, a bowl of soup, and a large glass of pepsi. I stumbled into the room late, carrying a full-course meal, and the entire class broke into laughter. Amazing. I spent the day mostly hanging out with people: hit the town with Amos, watched Rocketman with Monica, Ashley, and Jessica, and hung out in the coffee shop with Coop, Rob, and Lizzie. Since most of the students are gone, the coffee shop turned into a desolate ghost town. Bored, Coop decided to start making some shakes. He made three new concoctions: a fruit roll up shake, V9 (a boxed salad and lots of cranberry juice thrown into the blender), the grilled cheese shake (made with smoked provolone), and the marblebread shake. All of these were made in the blender, and only the fruit roll up shake tasted good.

Tomorrow is dedicated to cleaning the room and (maybe) some homework. I am also going to work on my new story, and I have to write out Sunday's lesson. I'm thinking I'll teach on the Genesis 1-2 accounts; I won't press any agendas on how God did anything, but show the historical, cultural, and religious backgrounds to this beautiful poetry. I find it fascinating, and I think I can very cleverly weave into it the message of the gospel. So that's what I'm hoping for.

Good night. I am SO excited about sleeping in in the morning!

As everyone knows, or at least will know now, I've taken up the habit of smoking. It used to be somewhat of an issue for me; "Am I sinning in this?" I've had many conversations with many different people, not excluding the bible and theology professors here at college, and the consensus is, "There's no biblical mandate against smoking." There have only been a few times in my existence when I've smoked heavily. Most of the time I smoke every other day or something of that nature. Some of my friends have taken it upon themselves to take care of my "problem" by forcing me to quit or threatening to turn me in to the college. I'm not going to get into why I think this isn't stemmed out of care or concern but out of a desire to control (many people knowing the situation have reason to believe the motivation is a power-hungry drive for control), but what gets me is the fact that they think they can run my life because I'm younger than them. I can understand their reasons fine, but their methodology of enacting their own wishes for my life makes me sick. The only one who is really concerned but doing anything right is my roommate, Caleb. I've talked to many people on campus about the situation, friends who smoke with me on occasion, and they are all amazed that this is happening. These people have only confronted me out of all their friends. To be honest, I'm getting rather sick of them.

Just a little rant ;)

I think the medicine might be helping me: I have more energy, more exuberance, more desire to be myself. The feelings of restlessness and hopelessness have lessened. I am able to sit down and study and write without quickly shutting the laptop in apathy. It's been a wonderful last few days. I hope it's the medicine so it doesn't wear off, haha.

I ate lunch with Kyle, his girlfriend Emily, and Emily's roommate Julie. Lots of laughter all around. The girls were crying tears of laughter. Julie is really cute. I confessed this to Emily, and she said, "Julie doesn't really ever leave the dorm unless I drag her out. We'll go bowling or something sometime with you and her. Not like a date, that way it's not awkward or anything." She said, "When we were walking back, she said that you're very funny, and you didn't try to force the funniness like some people." Some people say I am naturally funny. I think girls like it?

I spent the evening hanging out with lots of friends: Monica, Jessica, Ryan, Dan. I went to the woods with Nate and Amos, and we talked about God and Christianity and the sick Christian subculture. Monica is going through a hard time, so I sat with her on the bench and absorbed her thoughts. It helped her think through some things and find some clarity. An ear is often more helpful than a mouth.

As I sit here at the computer, I try to remember how much homework I have to do. I know I need to read half a book today, and I need to write out some notes on the laptop... Caleb is moping around the room, complaining about being tired and having to go to work. I don't work until tomorrow. He's playing "Hell's Bells" by ACDC on his computer. It's also is cell phone ring. I really don't have much to do today, except homework, laundry, and a run to Toys-R-Us with Bryant and Rebecca. I should spend some quality time doing my homework down in the coffee shop lounge, as usual.

My weekend went by well: I spent time with the family on Saturday, and on Sunday I taught class (it went well). I met with Joe over Starbucks coffee and we talked about treatment options for my depression. He thinks I might be bipolar. He gave me some medicine I've started taking, and so far, there's been a little change, but nothing major. "Give it a few days," he says. I returned to campus Sunday night to work a five-hour shift with Amos and Lizzie. Lizzie kept spilling the milk out of the containers, and when she would steam it, she'd steam it so hot that it exploded all over her. I literally fell to the ground rolling a few times. I love working with that girl. On Monday I went home to hang out with my sister: we went to Borders and to the park.

Not much else to say, I'm afraid.

I want to thank everyone for the support they've not only offered, but freely given. It means a lot to me, it really does. I'm thankful no one left a comment on my last post telling me that my depression is a side-effect of a corrupt faith. I'm not going to be all pious and tell you that I have the greatest faith in the world, because I don't, but I'm not naive enough to fall victim to the lie that depression is a spiritual disorder caused only by one's poor relationship with God. After all, were not many of the great heroes of the faith (many who find their names written in the declaration of the faithful in Hebrews 11) partakers of depression with me? Abraham, King David (in the early and later periods of his life), Habakkuk, Jeremiah, and then (maybe) John the Baptist and even the great ancient, Mediterranean missionary Paul? So thank you for all the support you've given me, fulfilling the law of love by supporting a brother who is hurting.

Last night at work was amazing. Because of labor day weekend, and because on Fridays the coffee shop is usually deserted because everyone hits the streets of the 'Nati, we did not have much business. We played games and laughed and joked around. We used mancala and "pass the pigs" to decide who would do the dirty jobs (the loser had to do the assigned job; I lost about four times). I also got to spend some time with a really cool girl who *might* have interest in me. Surprisingly enough, girls have not been on my mind lately. I confess I've been missing Sonja, but it's getting much better.

I've changed my message for tomorrow. Instead of talking about evidences for the existence of God (a very philosophical lesson), I've decided instead to teach from my favorite gospel text, John 8.1-11. The emphasis is going to be upon how no one is perfect, we all have our flaws, yet God forgives us and calls us to a higher life. Much time will be spent on the concept of sin (taken from Greek words for the subject), and how Christians are to deal with sin in the lives of those who are partakers of the faith and those who are not yet partakers.

Dad and I are probably going to Barnes & Nobles tonight. It should be fun. I'm looking for a good commentary on the gospels, so if anyone has any they love, please let me know.

a quiet confession

People have been noticing that I've been different this semester. "You're not yourself," they tell me. "What's wrong?" they ask. They're onto something. My heritage is one littered with cases of depression. At about age 20 the depression begins to hit pretty hard, and it's beginning to consume me.

I don't have the energy to do anything.

I don't have the desire to laugh.

I don't have the willpower to be myself.

I find myself often on the brink of tears for no apparent reason.

It's a really sad experience. One of my friends whom I go rock-climbing with is a doctor, and we're meeting Sunday over coffee to talk about medicinal options to treat my depression. I'm tired of trying to drown the depression in writing, or dreaming, or smoking.

I was depressed for about three years when I was in Jr. High, and that was not a pleasant experience. I have many friends behind me who are going to help me through this. For anyone who has experienced depression--real depression--you know what it's like; for those who have not, let me tell you--and you believe me--that it is a taste of hell.

So if I've seemed different, that's why. Hopefully things will be getting better, though. That's all I have to say right now.