Friday, November 03, 2006

on smoking

About a year and a half ago, I had my first cigar. “I’ll only have one every once and a while,” I told myself. That did not last very long. I found that I really enjoyed smoking, and when times of depression hit hard, the cigar relaxed and calmed me like nothing else in the world. It began taking over my life. Whenever I had something to celebrate, I would not celebrate God in worship; rather, I would light one up. Whenever life treated me harsh, I did not go to God in prayer; rather, I would drown my sadness in tobacco. The question, “Is this a sin or not?” always hovered at the back of my mind. Even now I really do not have an answer to that question, but I’ve decided to “drop the habit” once-and-for-all for several reasons.

The first reason is a biblical one. When my friend Alex took me out to buy a pack of cigars one night, he quoted to me 1 Cor 6. 12: “Everything is allowable for me, but not all things are good for me to do. Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power.” He warned me, “Just don’t become addicted, man.” Yet I was already addicted. God clearly does not want us to be enslaved to anything, and nicotine may be the most addictive substance on the planet (maybe even more addictive than heroin). When we become addicted to something, especially something harmful and dangerous, I believe that we should cut ourselves off from it. Smoking has become addictive to me. Perhaps if I used it in moderation this would be a moot point, but that just is not the case.

The second reason has to do with the convictions upon my life. Over the summer, God intensely convicted me to abandon smoking: “It’s just going to ruin your life! This isn’t My desire for you!” I tried but failed, and when a bout of depression hit, smoking became my avenue of escape. I continued smoking, and then when I got into a relationship with Julie, God (again) (through her), convicted me to stop smoking. I did, but when Julie broke up with me, those convictions were forgotten. Quite recently, through some scripture we read in my Hermeneutics class, God has again brought His convictions to the front door: “You need to stop this!”

The third reason is tied into the second. Because I have been rebelliously ignoring God, He has disciplined me. He is our Good Shepherd: His rod and staff are upon us. His staff guides us, and His rod disciplines us. When God’s people continue to rebel against Him when He continuously demands their repentance in certain spheres of life, He brings judgment (or “discipline”, as the author of Hebrews views it) upon them to get their attention (“Hey, this is serious business!”) and to propel them towards repentance. On the day I wrecked my Jeep, I left campus for the sole intent of smoking (ironically, the great damage done to the car left me unscathed). Many of my friends kept telling me, “If you hadn’t been smoking, this wouldn’t have happened!” Was this an act of discipline from God, a way of getting my attention? I’m not sure. I do know the idea is not unbiblical at all.

The fourth reason is that I do not want to ruin God’s plans for my life. I believe God wants me to advance His kingdom here on this earth, and if I am lying in a hospital bed dying of lung cancer, how well am I doing with the mission which He has entrusted me with? Also, I believe it is God’s plan for my life for me to be a good husband and a good father. How will I be a good husband if I leave my wife prematurely, or a good father if I die early, because of my smoking addiction? How will I be a good husband and a good father if my addiction pollutes my family’s lungs with poisons?

So that’s why I have decided, finally (to the relief of many friends and family members), to abandon smoking. It is a personal decision, and I do not expect any of my smoking friends to adhere to it, though I know they will respect me. My hope and prayer is that God will help me through this time of coming suffering (for getting over a nicotine addiction is nothing easy), and I hope and pray that my friends and family will encourage me and pray for me as I seek to conform to God’s will.

Good night.

3 comments:

Rochelle said...

Anthony
I know this isn't going to be an easy thing for you but for all of the reasons you listed I think you are making the right decison. I also believe that when you are in a position of leadership (teaching sr high) they look to you as an example. I'm proud of you

agapetos said...

Good for you Anthony! I do with food what you do with smoking ... and for all the reasons you need to quit, I do as well. AND in the end, you'll smell so much better and be more kissable!

Anonymous said...

I'm proud of you!!! I love you bud. I know it's not going to be easy, but know we all are here for you.

Mom

where we're headed

Over the last several years, we've undergone a shift in how we operate as a family. We're coming to what we hope is a better underst...