Have you ever sang that song in church called "His Banner Over Me"? It goes something like this:

He brought me to His banqueting table
And His banner over me is love.
I am my beloved's and He is mine
And His banner over me is love.

I've never personally sung this song in church, and I am quite thankful! Here's why: this song finds its origin in an obscure verse in an obscure book of the Bible called "The Song of Songs" or "The Song of Solomon." You can read the verse in chapter two, verses four and 16. The Song of Songs is a very erotic book of the Bible; in the olden days, Rabbis would not allow boys under thirteen to even read the text because of its sensual nature. The Song depicts several stories of a couple's romance, the romance often culminating in sex. I believe the author of this book is one of Solomon's many wives, one whom he actually loved; I believe she wrote this to him and it found itself a treasured work.

So, with all that said, the question arises: "What, exactly, are we singing to God when we sing this song?"

Once again, the dangers of taking scripture out-of-context becomes apparent. "Well, the Song of Solomon is just an allegory of Christ's relationship with His people." The allegorical interpretation is a weak one, in my opinion, but let me close with the words of my good friend and co-worker Rob Hoos: "...and just for the record, I sure hope that book is not an allegory of Christ and the church, cause if it is, it is going to be really awkward in heaven."

In his letter to the Christians in the ancient city of Corinth, Paul advises them to examine themselves and see if they are in the faith. He writes, "Don't you know that Christ Jesus is in you--as long as you pass the test?" On Sunday we talked about how we should examine ourselves to see if we are really "in the faith." It is very possible for us to claim to believe something we do not really believe; it is even possible to pretend to be something or someone for so long that we convince ourselves that we're something or someone completely opposite of what or whom we are (at least you didn't have to read that one twice!). Jesus says that there are many people who think that they are "in the fold of God" but who are really shut out from His presence. How can we "examine ourselves" to see whether or not the faith we claim is genuine?

First, we examine whether or not we seek to obey God. Jesus says in the gospel of John, "He who loves God obeys His commandments. He who does not love God does not obey His commandments." Because of our sinful (though defeated) natures, we will never be perfect in our obedience, yet we must strive for obedience. We must desire to obey God and seek to obey God in all areas of our lives. If we live lives of disobedience, giving not a care to God and His standards, then we are failing this aspect of the test.

Second, we must examine how we act towards other people. One of the ancient Christians said, "If we claim to belong to Christ but do not love other people, we are liars, and the love of Christ is not in us." The love spoken of here is not a love of affection or warmth or fuzzy feelings for other people; it is agape love: it is love rooted in action, a love of the will that seeks the betterment of others, a love that acts favorably towards all (friends and enemies). It is a love of selflessness, servitude, sacrifice, and kindness. Are we loving others as God commands us to love others? If we are not, then we are not really part of God's family.

Third, we must not love the world. The scriptures tell us plainly, "If you love the world and the things of the world, the love of God is not in you." First, "What is the world?" The "world" is the whole host of those practices, attitudes, and motivations that stand opposed to God. The "world" is selfishness, greed, indifference, and the abuse of sensuality. Now, "What does it mean to love the world?" To love the world is to submit to it: it is to submit to the selfishness, greed, indifference, and abuse of sensuality that our sinful natures crave. It is to embrace a life lived in hostility and opposition to God. If we embrace such a life, then we are not children of God.

I believe that there are many who claim allegiance to Christ but who are really mistaken in their assumptions. If we claim allegiance to a king, but do not live out our allegiance, then our allegiance is a farce, right? How is it any different with claiming loyalty to God? If we claim loyalty to God but live in a totally other manner, then it makes sense that we aren't really loyal to God. In fact, we may be completely opposed to Him! So let us examine ourselves, and if we fail the test, may we come to God dressed in sincere faith and repentance.

I've become slightly disenchanted with my blog as it stands; the posts are usually pointless, and they've become pretty repetitive: "I did this, then this, and then we did this..." So I've decided to kind of "change things up." What does this mean? Well, I'm dedicating certain days to certain kinds of posts. I'm not sure on the exact order or "style," but I think this would really help spice things up. We'll see what happens.

But since I haven't figured out the "new blog" yet, let me do the usual and elaborate on my day. I went to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte (yes!), then drove to Xenia to hang out with Jules. We wanted to go to Cox Arboretum, but it was packed with people for a garlic festival (dumb joke time: "None of them were vampires, I'm sure!"). So instead we went to Waldruh Park and walked the trails. Ashlie begged us to stop by, so we did, and then we watched as Ashlie and my dad got into a heated argument over baptism's role in salvation. Jules and I needed a break, so we decided to hit the road. We ended up at North Park, where we stood at the bridge and talked for a really long time. She commented on how cold it was, so we went back to my place and made a fire, sitting next to each other and talking about all kinds of things. We ate dinner (warmed-up chicken helper) and went to the Garage for a caramel macchiato. We talked the whole way back to her house, which is weird because we got there about 10:30 and she is usually conked-out by 10:00. She promised me she'd stay awake the whole time, and she did it just to prove that she could.

Now I must go get some sleep and practice my lesson for tomorrow (well, today...): "The Story of God".

What a beautiful day! The sun burns bright, the sky glows a deep blue, the leaves are turning and changing colors, dancing in a plethora of reds, oranges, golds and browns. I love to just sit outside on the front porch, drink hot chai tea, and watch the leaves spin to the ground. How elegant is fall! It reminds me of something I said to Jules; we were talking about how much we love fall, and I told her, "When we get back next week, we'll get some hot apple cider, sit on the hill, and look at the trees changing colors. And we can watch the squirrels play with their nuts!" I didn't mean it "like that," but it was still pretty funny.

Quitting smoking is harder than I thought it would be. Thankfully, Jules is supporting me one hundred percent. "Anytime you get the urge, just give me a call and I'll yell at you!" Yesterday I went to Starbucks to read a few chapters out of a book on bible doctrine while sipping a delicious caramel macchiato. I think I'm addicted. Today I am going to finish reading the chapters, and tomorrow I will spend the day hammering out my notes into a 12-page paper due sometime next week (not sure on the exact date yet; I'm thinking Thursday?). I also plan on doing some research on Obadiah; I have a term paper on Elijah coming up, so I might work on that.

I'm considering starting a blog to post some of my thoughts on Old Testament studies; the first few months would be spent on Old Testament History, and I would plan on getting something up around once a day. What do you guys think? Any Old Testament fans who would bother reading it?

sacrifice

I remember those days when I wallowed in despair, wondering when a girl could ever find any kind of interest in me. In these moments of despair, I did lots of thinking. I thought about what it meant to "love" a girl. I think it's foolishness to tell a girl, "I love you," unless you're absolutely sure of it. Yet I do believe there is an aspect of love to all romantic relationships; I'm not talking about mere affection, I'm talking about a love rooted in action.

A love that is selfless.
A love that is sacrificial.
A love that is serving.
A love that desires the betterment of others, even at the expense of self.
A love that is kind, caring, compassionate, just.
A love that is founded upon the will.
A love that is a decision.

As I begin the romantic journey with a "special someone," I want to treat her right. I believe that to treat her right means to love her in the agape since of the word. There are four Greek words for love (eros, philia, storge, and agape). Agape is called a love of the will. It is a love founded in action. It is a love that looks beyond the self, a love that transcends one's own desires. It is a love that looks out for the other.

"How can I love my girlfriend with an agape love? How can I interact with her in a selfless, serving, and sacrificial way--when I am around her and when I am not?"

One habit of mine my girlfriend absolutely does not like is my smoking. As many people know, I've smoked for a while. A year and a half, actually. I really enjoy it. Yet now I am in a relationship, and it is something that really bothers her. Do I tell her to deal with it? Do I tell her to ignore it? Do I continue to do it and lie to her? "Absolutely not!" to all of the above. I called her tonight and told her, "I know it really bothers you, and even though we agreed to me doing it every once and a while... Well, you are definitely worth the sacrifice, so I'm going to stop."

I believe this is what love is all about. This is what makes relationships work. And is it worth it? A year and a half of enjoyment ended for a single person? A habit that calms me, soothes me, and comforts me erased for the sake of one girl's desires? Is she worth the painful journey of withdrawal? Without question, YES, it is worth it. She's worth it.

It feels weird: it's only Wednesday, but I'm done with work and school for the week. Fall break begins today and lasts through Sunday, so I have a four-day weekend. It will be a bittersweet experience: sweet because I get to see my friends, set aside time for several projects for school, and hanging out with my family; bitter because I will be away from all my friends. Yesterday was spent with Julie: after classes, we decided to go to Applebee's for dinner, then we took a random drive into Kentucky. We visited Brian at his parsonage, then checked out a nearby park, swinging on the swings and talking. Brian told me, "She seems like a really sweet gal. I'm not sure what she sees in you." (He meant it jokingly, of course!). He said, "Treat her right. Don't do anything to screw it up." My hope, prayer, will and desire is to treat her right. She really is a wonderful girl. I told Brian, "The way I feel towards her is nothing like what I felt towards my last girlfriend; this is so much better." He said, "I could see it was different when you two walked in together." I'm fine with taking it slow: I haven't even held her hand yet, but I'm comfortable just getting to know her.

I have much to do over the four-day weekend: a 12-page paper for Basic Bible Doctrines, a TON of notes for a term paper on the life/ministry/person of Elijah the prophet, and on top of all this I need to work on a take-home exam for my multi-cultural literature class. Hopefully I'll have time to watch some good movies, cruise the streets with my friends, and take naps with Doogie. We'll see what happens. Oh, and on Sunday I teach a lesson on "The Story of God." It should be pretty simple and straight-to-the-point.

Oh, and the hot apple cider with caramel is now an "official" drink at the Hilltop Cafe. Victory is mine!

For the next twelve weeks, I am teaching a series on the gospel. The hope of my teaching is to expose the students to the gospel in several different ways. For example, yesterday we talked about the "Dream of God," and next week we will be talking about "The Story of God." Each of these lessons looks at the gospel from a different point-of-view. My hope is that the students will hear the gospel in a way they've never heard it, hopefully in a way that resonates with them and leads them to explore the salvation found in Christ. Sometimes it's hard to teach, for I feel like Elijah: preaching the Message, but being ignored. Preaching the Message, but being hit with rebellion. Preaching the Message, and watching it pass over them as they bathe in apathy. It's really hard, especially when my greatest friends from high school have abandoned God for the "pleasures of the world": sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.

This week should be good: classes tomorrow till noon, a short shift in the coffee shop Wednesday, then fall break begins! I hope to spend fall break studying the creation accounts in the Bible; I find them absolutely fascinating. Oh, and hanging out with friends and family... and maybe even meeting my girlfriend's family.

Julie and I ate lunch together, went to Steve & Berry's for some new fall clothes, then hung out in the coffee shop till about 9:30. She said, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I want to be your girlfriend." Terrific news! She is such a wonderful girl, I am so happy that we're together. I rushed into things with Sonja, and I felt God saying, "This isn't where I want you to be." I feel like God is smiling upon my relationship with Julie. It's amazing to think how a simple four weeks have changed everything. Four weeks ago this Wednesday, Caleb worked a supervisor shift in the coffee shop and I visited him. A cute girl walked in, and Caleb read her name on the computer when he rang her through. He came back and sat with me, telling me, "Her name is Julie." And then, through a random twist-and-turn of events, I got to know her and realized her outer beauty does not compare to her inner beauty. She's the Proverbs 31 gal. So right now I am a very happy man, thanking God minute-by-minute for this marvelous girl whom I do not deserve. My hope and prayer is that I treat her right as long as we are together.