I remember those days when I wallowed in despair, wondering when a girl could ever find any kind of interest in me. In these moments of despair, I did lots of thinking. I thought about what it meant to "love" a girl. I think it's foolishness to tell a girl, "I love you," unless you're absolutely sure of it. Yet I do believe there is an aspect of love to all romantic relationships; I'm not talking about mere affection, I'm talking about a love rooted in action.
A love that is selfless.
A love that is sacrificial.
A love that is serving.
A love that desires the betterment of others, even at the expense of self.
A love that is kind, caring, compassionate, just.
A love that is founded upon the will.
A love that is a decision.
As I begin the romantic journey with a "special someone," I want to treat her right. I believe that to treat her right means to love her in the agape since of the word. There are four Greek words for love (eros, philia, storge, and agape). Agape is called a love of the will. It is a love founded in action. It is a love that looks beyond the self, a love that transcends one's own desires. It is a love that looks out for the other.
"How can I love my girlfriend with an agape love? How can I interact with her in a selfless, serving, and sacrificial way--when I am around her and when I am not?"
One habit of mine my girlfriend absolutely does not like is my smoking. As many people know, I've smoked for a while. A year and a half, actually. I really enjoy it. Yet now I am in a relationship, and it is something that really bothers her. Do I tell her to deal with it? Do I tell her to ignore it? Do I continue to do it and lie to her? "Absolutely not!" to all of the above. I called her tonight and told her, "I know it really bothers you, and even though we agreed to me doing it every once and a while... Well, you are definitely worth the sacrifice, so I'm going to stop."
I believe this is what love is all about. This is what makes relationships work. And is it worth it? A year and a half of enjoyment ended for a single person? A habit that calms me, soothes me, and comforts me erased for the sake of one girl's desires? Is she worth the painful journey of withdrawal? Without question, YES, it is worth it. She's worth it.
A love that is selfless.
A love that is sacrificial.
A love that is serving.
A love that desires the betterment of others, even at the expense of self.
A love that is kind, caring, compassionate, just.
A love that is founded upon the will.
A love that is a decision.
As I begin the romantic journey with a "special someone," I want to treat her right. I believe that to treat her right means to love her in the agape since of the word. There are four Greek words for love (eros, philia, storge, and agape). Agape is called a love of the will. It is a love founded in action. It is a love that looks beyond the self, a love that transcends one's own desires. It is a love that looks out for the other.
"How can I love my girlfriend with an agape love? How can I interact with her in a selfless, serving, and sacrificial way--when I am around her and when I am not?"
One habit of mine my girlfriend absolutely does not like is my smoking. As many people know, I've smoked for a while. A year and a half, actually. I really enjoy it. Yet now I am in a relationship, and it is something that really bothers her. Do I tell her to deal with it? Do I tell her to ignore it? Do I continue to do it and lie to her? "Absolutely not!" to all of the above. I called her tonight and told her, "I know it really bothers you, and even though we agreed to me doing it every once and a while... Well, you are definitely worth the sacrifice, so I'm going to stop."
I believe this is what love is all about. This is what makes relationships work. And is it worth it? A year and a half of enjoyment ended for a single person? A habit that calms me, soothes me, and comforts me erased for the sake of one girl's desires? Is she worth the painful journey of withdrawal? Without question, YES, it is worth it. She's worth it.
1 comment:
Anthony, I will pray for your decision in this area. May God bless your decision and as result my hope is that you will have many more years (life expectancy) to serve the LORD and be a blessing to others.
Roger
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