Tuesday, October 17, 2006

There are lots of things on my mind right now. I am the kind of person who (for some unknown reason) resents double posts in one day. Today, however, I feel the need to post.

My last post (today) contained some words that came off a little hopeless. Granted, while I felt those emotions, I had just woken up and was in a weird state of consciousness. Looking back, I find myself kind of shocked at those words that I had written. It's almost laughable, really. I am feeling quite fine today. I've been doing homework, hanging out with friends, and staying out of the rain.

Both Amanda and Ashlie pointed something out to me yesterday. "Each girl you date or like is better than the one before her (physically and personality-wise)." She's right. Every time I am in a relationship and it breaks apart, I find myself wondering how I could ever find the best when I thought I had the best. And then someone even better comes into my life. Right now I'm wondering how I could ever be with someone better than Julie, but if my life is cyclical (as I believe it may very well be), then the next girl will be even more amazing! Eventually I will meet an amazing girl, marry her, and build a family with her. Julie just isn't that girl. It's as if every girl is a foretaste of what God will ultimately bring me. And that very idea excites me.

This whole ordeal has also led me to think about what I really want in a girl. I mean, "What kind of girl do I want?" Also, I need to understand that I am the kind of guy who is looking for "the one," and to start dating a girl who just wants a boyfriend is probably not the wisest move. We both have different end-goals. One of us is looking in a different direction than the other. Is any of us foolish for the direction we are looking? No, not at all; however, it is a good idea to be on the same page with a girl whom I'm dating. I want a girl who is looking for "the one", where dating is seen as a preview and testing-ground for marriage. Julie just wanted a boyfriend; I should have been wary of this in the beginning, but I was not. That's my fault.

Caleb--my roommate--has been encouraging me a lot, too. He pointed out Matthew 7.7-11, and he said, "God knows that you sincerely want to be a good husband and a good father, and I believe He will honor that dream." I really hope so!

1 comment:

agapetos said...

pretty cool observation A & A made ... a very neat and hopeful one!

For me, it freaked me out a bit if guys seemed to be looking to hard for the one, it made it feel too serious to quick for me .... and I didnt' start dating until I was 24! I'm sure there are some girls out there looking for "the one", but honestly, the more I talk to young women, more and more of them seem less and less "in a rush" to settle down. Don't know what that's all about, but find it interesting.

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