Thursday, January 13, 2005

I picked up Chris W. at 9:05 from school and we watched Lethal Weapon 4 at my house. After enjoying wonderful gourmet Chinese at China Garden and coffee from Cafe a-go-go, we relaxed at home and watched Seinfeld episodes with Chris' bro and my friend Lee. He left for work, so I took Chris home, drove to Centerville, picked up Pat D, and we browsed 1/2 Price and Borders, watching the rain fall as we drank our coffee and root beer. Pat D. is bummed because he has school tomorrow and we do not. I just wish I didn't have to work (why did they make me work all the weekend? I was told they'd never do that! Welcome to the world of work...)

I've kind of put 36 Hours on the backburner... for now. I can't really explain it, but spending two hours a day for something only a handful of people will experience doesn't just register as worthwhile to me. If I am going to waste my time, I'd much rather waste it doing something I enjoy more, something care-free and ultimately relaxing. Writing is stressful, time-consuming, energy-consuming, thought-consuming, pretty much the most agonizing thing you'll ever experience. It's a bitter sweet hobbie, and for that reason I'm either drooling for more or pushing the plate away. Right now I am pushing the plate away.

At 1/2 Price I purchased a book called How Majestic is Thy Name; I am going to use it for my times of meditation. It is pretty much just beautiful images with scripture, magnifying the awesomeness and power of God. I have just discovered this wonderful thing called meditation; a friend brought it to my attention and it is really something wonderful to experience. I have been contemplating how to integrate meditation into the 'spiritual disciplines' of my life. A friend and I have been talking and we both feel this insane urge to just run helter-skelter after God, taking on the character of Christ, becoming godly, and living a life just consumed by the Creator. I have been conversing with a lot of people, and reading some great books (not self-help books, I hate the spiritual self-helps: they SUCK). So many things are holding me back and I just need to shove them off. I have been experiencing some bouts of depression lately, though I am fine now, and just praying to God with my whole range of human emotions - the Psalms? - has helped a great deal.

At 1/2 Price, my friends and I discovered a book called Jesus: CEO. We flipped through it and the author is saying Jesus is not so much a spiritual person, but a businessperson with the best tips and plans for a successful life and successful career. We discovered another book that took the Gospel and turned it into a four-step plan for successful living in the business world. I took both of them and slid them into an area where no one ever looks. I told them, "This is how I fight the good fight!"

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