In the American mainstream culture in which we live, love is most often seen as a loftier word for sex. The media does not help this view: from the radio to the television, from music artists to movies, the primary message is easy to decipher: “Pleasure is all that matters!”
This cultural love is far from the love that Christians are called to have for one another. Cultural love strips love—especially romantic love—of the fabric of commitment. Cultural love revolves around the self: true love is all about the fulfillment and comfort of the individual. Cultural love also tells us that love is mostly just a feeling we “fall into” against our control. At the center of these feelings is always me.
Why does the world have such a twisted view of love? At the Fall, the original design for love was forgotten; in its place, a “new” kind of “love” developed: a twisted, corrupted imitation with selfishness and self-gratification at the center.
The culture shows us sex and says, “This is love.” God shows us a cross and says, “This is love.”
Christ, in his life and actions and teachings, shows us what true, biblical love looks like. His teachings show us what life looked like before the Fall, and so his teachings about love show us the original design for love.
Christ shows us that true love is not about fulfilling the desires of the self. Rather, true love is for the glory of God and for the glory of others. True love is selfless: it gives without necessarily receiving, it sacrifices without necessarily being sacrificed for, and it dies to its needs and looks out for the good of others more than it looks out for itself.
Christ shows us that true love is more than a feeling; the scriptures clearly show us that Christ did not “feel” like going through all the suffering and agony starting in Gethsemane and culminating in the cross.
Christ shows us that true love is a choice, not something we just “fall into.” He teaches that our true love is shown when we choose to obey God and serve others.
The Apostle Paul, chosen by Christ to take the gospel to the non-Jews, wrote a beautiful description of love in 1 Corinthians 13. In ancient times, Corinth was famous for being a city of immorality. At one time, the Greek goddess Aphrodite had 1000 prostitutes at her temple. A slang word for prostitute, slut, or whore was “a Corinthian girl.” Grab a Bible and read Paul’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13. This biblical love is selfless, sacrificial, serving, humble, and kind. When we look at Christ’s life and character, we see this kind of love.
Our fallen instincts desire the culture’s selfish, self-gratifying love (a twisted perversion that hurts us and others and gets no one anywhere). Our fallen instincts want nothing to do with the kind of love revealed in Christ. Yet Christians—the disciples of Christ—are called to imitate the love of Christ in all relationships. It is how we love that will set us apart from the world (John 13.35)
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