the 14th week

Monday. I didn’t do much today: two classes with working at the Hilltop in between. My evening was spent hanging out with people in the Hilltop, and I visited Mandy in the IT Department.

Tuesday. Mandy and I went to Highlands Café in Clifton. She had tea and I had whiskey. She opened up a lot about her past, her rebellion and being boy-crazy. As we returned to campus, she seemed rather flirty.

Wednesday. I worked until 1:00 and then Isaac and I went to The Anchor for coffee and poetry. Mom came down to campus, and Ams joined us to check out a potential house for the summer: Justin Dunn’s place on Lehman Avenue. Mom took us out to Applebee’s, and we decided to rent Justin’s place. I celebrated with Brock and Core at Highlands. Their spiced rum is heavenly.

Thursday. I returned home after classes. Mom bought me Subway. I talked to Sarah for a while. She’s definitely going to live with us at Lehman. Keith’s in jail for aggravated assault. I also talked with Bethany for a while.

Good Friday. Mandy and I spent 11 hours together, and it was great. First we got lunch at Thai Taste, and I had eel sushi. We went to Newport and got coffee at Barnes & Noble, and then we walked across the Purple People Bridge. She’d never done it before. She really wanted to go to Northside, so we did, and we got more coffee at Sidewinder Café. She was really open about her dysfunctional family life. It started to rain. I dropped her off at her dorm and headed up Interstate 71 to sign the lease for the “Lehman House.” I then took Mandy out to dinner at O’Charley’s. She said there are things she’s not telling me because “it won’t change anything.” Also, her best friend Rochelle and her sister Sarah called her, and it was apparent that they knew she was with me. Ams told me, “She’d be really good for you, and you’d be really good for her.”

Saturday. Jessie asked me how my date with Mandy went. “It wasn’t a date.” She said, “If it walks like a date and talks like a date…” Maybe she’s right. After all, Mandy’s closest friend and sister knew exactly what she was doing and who she was with. When I asked her why she didn’t trust me with something she wouldn’t tell me, she only answered in vague generalities. When I asked if she was hiding something, she only smiled and said, “Why bring everything out into the open if it won’t change anything?” At the end of the night, we were both being flirty. Passing a Laundromat in Northside, she said, “If we lived here, we’d to laundry here.” Perhaps a Freudian slip, a telltale sign of what was really going on inside her head? I don’t know. At a bookstore in Northside, she found a book of pick-up lines, and, giggling, read one to me: “Is it just me, or are you the cutest boy in this room?” As I drove her back to her dorm, she was smiley and giggly as we talked for a few more minutes; she was turned around in her seat to look at me during the whole drive. She’s a mysterious girl. A beautiful, captivating, and exhilarating woman. She’s leaving soon, and I know that I’ll hurt, because she’ll be gone. But I’m drawn to her anyways. Again all reason, against all logic, against my own will, I am swooned by her voice and held captive by her eyes. I do like her, so very much, but is this doomed to destruction? Am I knowingly plunging headfirst into a volcano? Should I tell her how I feel? Am I willing to risk losing what we have?

Easter. Gambill asked about Mandy. “Part of me really enjoys the chase and the mystery. Part of me, and I don’t understand why, really enjoys NOT knowing, really enjoys tiptoeing dangerously into mystery. In a sense, the questioning anticipation is exhilarating. I asked Jessie, “Would it be weird if I sent her a text if I could call her tonight?” She aid I should. So I did, and she said, “You can try!” I called her, and she answered, and we talked for an hour, and it only felt like five minutes. My phone calls to Karen always felt longer than they actually were.