Questions: #1

What is one thing you have learned about yourself recently?

I am self-reliant to a fault. Somewhere in my mind, I get this idea—perhaps stemming from pride—that I can do things on my own, that I don’t need anyone’s fault. Now, I know that I need God to help me through difficult times, and I need Him for my salvation, etc. But when it comes to other people, I have this feeling that if I ask for help with my needs—whether they be emotional, physical, financial, whatever—then I am transgressing some unwritten code. So when it comes to difficult times in my life, it’s just me and God, and I generally don’t let anyone help me in to help bear the load. There are exceptions to this rule, like my sister, and Kyle, and Jessie. But generally-speaking, that’s the way it is. It can be a dangerous and even deadly thing.

I am also blunt and honest to a fault. When I want to know something, I ask. I don’t sugar-coat what I ask. When someone asks me a question, I answer as honestly and bluntly as I can. This gets me in a lot of trouble; for example, when I am to be showing someone sympathy or empathy, I often just piss them off with cold and calculating words. This has happened quite often recently.

Both of these—self-reliance and being blunt and honest—are things I need to work on. More-so the self-reliance, but I need to learn when and when not to be blunt. Honesty is great, but when it is performed bluntly, people just get hurt.