the lehman house [3]

My housemate Sarah

Monday. Monica, Amanda and I ate lunch at the Chinese buffet in Western Hills. When Sarah got back from work, we went to Blockbuster and rented two movies: Taken and Wet, Hot, American Summer. We watched both of them. Jobst needed a ride home so I gave him one.

Tuesday. I returned the movies to Blockbuster and rented two new ones: one about aliens, another about werewolves & vampires. I cleaned my room, unpacked more boxes. Sarah and I went to the Florence Mall. I got a video games, the movie Munich, some beer, and Bacardi 151. We spent the evening drinking, smoking, and playing guitar. I was drunk. 

Wednesday. I woke at 6:00, puked my guts out, and slept until 11:30. Sarah missed work because of a pounding migraine. We watched Munich and lounged around. Jess Lynn is coming into town, and we're going to hang out for a bit tomorrow. Sarah, Ams and I went to Kroger to grab groceries. I went to Dayton to grab my birth certificate--Dining Services needs a copy for a temporary summer gig--and when I got home, Will was over.

Thursday. I woke at 9:00, beat Half-Life 2, and went to school so they could copy my certificate. Jess Lynn cancelled on hanging out. I went to Blockbuster and rented the Blade trilogy. Sarah returned from work and Jessie came over, then James came over. We watched Requiem for a Dream. Such a depressing movie. It made me want to cut myself. Jessie and I watched "Zoolander" and talked for a long time. Things between her and Justin are weird again.

Friday. Monica texted me: "Let's go on a date!" Not a REAL date, a date commemorating her rejection of me freshman year over three years ago. We went to Skyline Chili on Warsaw. It was a good time. Back home, Ams and Will were over watching the original Blade. I spent the day doing absolutely nothing, and it sucked: no one to hang out with, people either gone home for the summer or too busy. My mind dovetailed to Courtney. I hate thinking about her. She's getting married in a few months. It's been two years, and I still think about her, think about our love and the tragedy it became. A young boy, so happy and so in love, daring to believe his dreams were coming true, forced to come to grips with reality: What you want, you can't have; what you have, you can't keep; and that which you love will, eventually, be taken from you. The boy is raped by misfortune, cheated on and backstabbed, pinned down by the weight of what he lost as he watches all he ever wanted given to another and on a silver platter. He will forever be the boy who lost her; he will always be the one left weeping, wailing, bleeding. FUCK. That's depressing. Jessie and I ended up hanging out pretty late. I went to her apartment with Bloc and we fixed stir-fry with her roommate and then talked in her room for a while. She asked how my day went. "I reminesced on when I was in love, happy, and skinny. Now I'm not in love, not happy, and definitely not skinny." She offered a sympathetic hug. When I got back to my place, a fight had broken out on Grand Avenue and four cop cars were involved.

Saturday.  Last night I dreamt that Mandy K. was in town and we were at my place cuddling. I woke up sad. How strange: I hurt over the loss of Courtney and dream about Mandy K. The mind's a weird, fucked up thing. I went to Dayton and wrote my sermon on Sin while sipping a caramel macchiato from Starbucks. I talked to Mandy K. for a bit: she's feeling weak and lonely in Chicago. 

Sunday. The sermon went really well. My last time preaching at NHCC. Kyle was there, so we got to hang out and catch up. I grabbed lunch at Mom & Dad's and returned to Cincinnati. Justin D., the landlord, came by to install some air conditioning units, thank God. Ams and I watched The Departed. Sarah was supposed to come home at 5:00; then 8:00; then 11:00. Then she called to say she was staying with Keith. I was short with her on the phone. I'm tired of hearing her complain about Keith 24/7 while simultaneously doing NOTHING about it except digging a deeper hole. She's a great, wonderful girl, deserving of a better life, a better man, but she can't move forward because she's holding herself back.