#bombogenesis

we're weird. and we're totally totes okay with that.

The first truly cold days of winter have arrived, and even a wee bit early. The meteorologists are calling it a bombogenesis, a blast of arctic air sweeping down from the north and turning everything into ice. "There's nothing like driving home from work in a car with a window that won't roll down, freezing your ass off, trudging up the steps to your apartment and then stepping into a blast of hot air." I strip down to my pajamas, plop onto my sofa, and read by oil lamp light or watch movies to pass the time. These are the best times of winter, made possible by vintage lamps and well-placed space heaters.

I've written on this blog how things with Ashley have kind of been "up in the air." I've been praying about it a lot, and I've come to see that the ONLY thing throwing a "wrench in the gears" is my resilient love for Mandy. Ashley has so many great qualities, and she's the sort of woman I've been praying for: she's strong in her faith, has a great personality, believes in traditional gender roles, and is supportive to a fault. We've been hanging out every day since we've met (there was one day we only hung out for ten minutes, but we still hung out), and not once have I felt unappreciated, disrespected, or uncared-for. Not once have I been filled with anxiety about her disposition towards me. We haven't had any big arguments, we both deal with conflict in healthy ways, and we're both agreeable harmony-seekers. Our relationship has been marked by peace and compassion, and I like that. 

All this to say: I may not yet be "over" Mandy, but I'm getting there. I really am. I don't dream about her anymore, or at least not as often; I don't think about her the moment I go to sleep and the moment I wake up. Yes, there are times when everything that happened still hurts A LOT. But Ashley is understanding, and I'm able to be open with her about these things. She's been through it, she knows what it's like; and she's supporting me in my own journey in getting above and beyond the Wisconsinite. One day all of that will be a half-remembered dream, and that day is approaching. Each day I'm more able to open myself up to Ashley and find peace and contentment with her. 

It's a good feeling.

It really, truly is.